"Ghost"
You have my eyes. You have your father's face but my eyes and that was such a jolt. When I saw you walk through the door I thought that it was your father reincarnated. You barely glanced at me as you headed for the counter where the young owner of the coffee shop stood. I saw the way her eyes lit up when she saw you, she loves you but you're wary of showing her exactly how you feel, of opening every part of your soul to her. Rejection is a painful thing. I think if you told her the truth, she might surprise you.
You've grown so tall, so noble-looking. Your hair is still so dark though I do detect a chestnut cast there too when the sun shines on it. I watch you talk to the girl behind the counter. For a moment I wish that it was me that you talk to, to bestow that smile upon though I have no right to. You don't know me, you don't know my name. To you I am a stranger.
It's late now. You're sleeping and I wonder who you're dreaming about. Is it me? Or is it the girl at The Talon, I'm sorry, I didn't catch her name. I can see in your eyes just how much she means to you. You turn over onto your back and whisper something under your breath, was it someone's name? I didn't quite catch it. I move closer to your bed and linger over your face, partially lit by the moonlight streaming through the window, a light breeze teases the lace curtain that offers little privacy. I long to touch you, to brush back a lock of your hair, to kiss your cheek. Would you wake if I did? I take a step backwards as I hear movement out side your bedroom door and fade into the shadows as the door opens and someone comes in.
It's your mother. She walks into your room, moving quietly as not to disturb you. You don't hear her as she approaches your bedside. Like me, she takes a moment just to look at you. I can see the love in her eyes as she does what I long to do. She bends down and presses a soft kiss on your forehead. You smile in your sleep but you slumber on. She straightens and leaves, closing the door gently behind her. I emerge from the shadows still undetected. Nobody sees me unless I choose them to.
I worried that nobody would love you. I'm glad I was wrong. Your parents' love is unconditional, they agonise over how to keep you safe, how to keep your secret but still let you have as normal an upbringing as possible. They are so proud of you, of how you want to help others. That is an admirable trait. You stir again and I stumble backwards a step, caught by surprise. Your eyes open and I'm frozen to the spot. Your gaze is unfocussed and I wonder whether you can see me but your eyes flutter closed and I allow myself the chance to breathe again. I leave you.
I watched you working on the farm that has been your home for the last fourteen years. You seem to enjoy the hard labour though I know to you it's easier than child's play. And while you work with your father and talk and sometimes joke, I sense a restlessness in your spirit, that outside of Smallville is a huge world for you to explore and you're wondering when to take that all important first step. You will, I promise you, in time.
I know what they did to you in that laboratory. I saw them overcome you with kryptonite and tie you to that gurney. They could see that it poisoned you but they did nothing to stop their vile experiments. My heart bled for you. I wanted to help you, to save you from those monsters but I couldn't, I was forced to watch as you were immersed in that foul green liquid, twitching and convulsing. Didn't they know that they were killing you? Did they care? And you screamed for me, screamed my name and I wanted to hold you then and stroke your hair and whisper that yes, I was there and I would never leave you again. It was your friend Lex Luthor that saved your life, but it was me that made that horrible machine explode. I couldn't bear to stand by any longer and watch them kill you.
Now I am with you in your den. You're thinking about me. If only you'd turn your head towards the doorway then you would see me, but you don't. You're wondering what I looked like, and why I would so willingly let you go. I watch you get to your feet and walk up the stairs to your sanctuary. Of course I follow and as always I am in the shadows, like a ghost. You're utterly lost in your thoughts. I walk towards you, you don't see me but I think you sense me because you look up suddenly. I stop in front of you but you look right through me. Your thoughts overtake you once again and I sit beside you on the sofa. This time I decide to be brave and with one hand I reach out and I gently stroke your hair. You don't feel it and that saddens me slightly. My heart aches for you my darling son. I ache to hold you in my arms, to comfort you and dry your tears. I look up as I hear footsteps and see Martha Kent advancing towards you. She is the one to hold you and comfort you and dry your eyes, she always has been, and she is your mother. I leave.
Time is passing. I must draw this to a close. I leave this as a gift for you my sweet Kal-El and to let you know that I will be with you for all of your days.
Lara.