Drabbles – With or without you (1)
Chuck: The butch with the Scotch
It was that time of year, the time of the "White Party", and Chuck Bass was sitting at the bar all alone. Well, maybe not all alone. He still had a glass of Scotch... and an awful feeling in his stomach that led him to a difficult decision. He had two choices: he could either drown his depression (and his common sense) away with alcohol, or he could do something, anything, to somehow get rid of his suffering. Only... only he was already paralysed, already too weak to fight his suffering, to keep it from suffocating him. And besides, what could a person like him do anyway? Would it do any good at all if he tried?
Actually Blair didn't matter to him. She had gotten Marcus with the title of "lord," and he'd gotten a lot of other girls... who were as interesting as bread.
Who was he trying to convince? He said it himself: He tried the whole summer to think of something other than Blair. Now, he bitterly regretted not following her. He had been afraid. He had been so afraid she would find his inner self, the self that he knew she wouldn't like. Although he already confessed the undeniable truth to Nate: He fell in love with Blair. But...
Well, if there hadn't been this damn "but".
He was blocked inside.
What was so attractive about this cock? Chuck asked himself, degrading Lord Marcus in his mind. Okay, he was rich and wealthy. He had a title Chuck would be never able to achieve. He was a very polite Briton. He was a Lord by the way... Okay, Chuck was definitely screwed.
He took a sip off his glass and stared into space. He felt numb.
This inner blockage. He had no chance. The only escape away from this misery would have been to tell Blair those three words she was so eager to her from him. Three simple, stupid words. Just "I..."
Chuck tore at his hair. He couldn't even say them in his own mind!
He needed a plan. He was Chuck Bass. He always got the things he wanted to possess. It was all a matter of money and time, and money was, like everybody knows, a synonym for time. So it was all about having a double amount of time... he zoned out. The three glasses of Scotch that he drank automatically were just too much. His mind was befogged. A plan, he just needed a plan and everything would be well...