A/N

Please note that this is a short chapter story.

There is not a plot or major story line.

Its just an idea I had about the life of living in dorms and some of the antics that occur (One or two that actually happened to me in uni)

I wrote this for fun, so I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it :)

Thanks for reading!

Monday

My eyes felt like someone had used glue to seal them shut.

Wait a minute. I tried to pry them open once again, without success.

Glue.

That does kind of seem like something that could happen in this place.

Oh my god, what happened last night?

I moved my left arm and felt around my bed while trying to not move any other part of my body, letting out a breath of relief discovering I was alone. Oww, don't go doing that again this morning. Too much!

Rose had been on a mission to set me up with any guy that she had deemed acceptable last night.

I however, decided that the only way I was going to get through another one of her 'get Bella laid faze's' was to drink Emmett's famous shots. What a mistake that had been.

Now these shots were only famous for the reason that were always made up of whatever he could get his hands on. As well as making you forget most of your evening, sometimes. Oh yes, and also inducing stupid and often humiliating mistakes too.

Okay, so those happened more often than not.

Anyway that definitely happened to me last night. The drinking too many of them anyway. I am pretty sure that I did not humiliated myself last night. I even vaguely remember going to my room, alone.

At least that is something I suppose.

After a few more minutes I braved trying to open my eyes and after a couple of attempts actually managed to get them open a millimetre or so.

Instantly regretted that decision though and went straight back to sleep snapping them back shut.

Thank god no glue had been used on me anyway.

How would you even begin to explain that to someone at the hospital?

A few hours later I managed to actually get up and out of not only my bed but also my clothes from last night, changing them for some comfy sleep pants and a tank top.

At some point in the night I must of decided it was a good idea to shut my keys and phone away in the closet, because after nearly twenty minutes of searching that is were I found them. Not to sure what I did to justify that move, but okay. That's what you get for Emmett's shots.

Twelve texts and twenty eight missed calls…..opps?

I do vaguely remember someone banging on my door after I put myself to bed. Its just the couple of hours before that of which I am unsure of.

Scanning through my messages the first one that I read, which also happened to be the last one I received was from Alice.

FYI- gin and iced coffee are not a match made in heaven the morning after the night before. -A XXX

Sounds like she has been praying to the porcelain gods this morning.

I am feeling a little smug that I turned down her offer of her concoctions last night.

I may be envious of a few things about Alice, but that is most certainly not one of them.

The porcelain gods are not my friend.

Nope.

I really need some food. Oh and a coffee, definitely a large coffee. With a few heaps of sugar. mmmmmmm

Just as I stumbled out of my room I came face to face with Jasper, who was also in his bed clothes. However unlike me he was dragging a door behind him, and he didn't look too happy about it either.

"What is the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know the name of?" his eyes were about as squinty as mine. Emmett and his stupid shots.

"What?" I croaked. It was way to early for this and I was confused as hell. Who takes a door home with them? Its just a little bit weird really.

"Exactly" was all he said before walking towards the elevator, dragging along his door behind him banging it into the wall as he went.

I should be more used to the craziness of living in this dorm and yet I find myself surprised on more than one occasion a day.

The first thing I noticed about the kitchen/living area was that it looked like we had been burgled. Well that is what it would look like to anyone who hadn't been here before to seen the aftermath of a night like last night.

Every single time we have a gathering in our dorm flat it turns into something you would expect to see on a television show like 'Life Of Grime', especially when Emmett's 'Baseball' friends turn up. Oh and I use the term very loosely, regarding baseball.

Mike is casually passed out across one of the sofas, fully clothed, thankfully.

I don't see any form of life coming from anyone else, so assume that they are all passed out still.

Time to make that breakfast for myself I think.

Oh and by 'make' I mean pour cereal and milk into a bowl and add a spoon.

It is the best kind of breakfast.

Oh and the coffee, don't forget about that.

Not too long after I had slumped myself on to a chair at the table and sloppily shovelled cinnamon cereal into my mouth, Alice and Rose stumbled out of their room. And neither of them looked that great this morning. Alice even had crease marks where she probably had her head on the toilet seat most of the morning.

"Oh god" Alice grumbled as she took in the state of the room. It truly was a mess and I was not looking forward to the group cleanup we needed to do to restore it to a more liveable state.

"I say we make Emmett clean it up, it was him who brought back those baseball friends of his last night which always results in, this" Way to optimistic there Rose.

"You can go wake him then" I told her "You know that he will turn up just as its finished, he always does"

"It's like his special talent" Alice added.

"His only talent" I remarked before shovelling more cinnamon goodness into my mouth.

"I think I will pass, thank you very much Bella" she shuddered "He is probably passed out naked, smelling like puke or something"

"Smelling like piss, don't foget about the piss" I reminded her and watched as the both of them sat with their own mugs off coffee, draining the pot and slumped into the seats opposite me.

"What happened to you last night? One minute you were doing shots with your bitch of a roommate and the next, Bella gone bye, bye" Alice waved her hand as she spoke. Even hangover she was like a fairy on crack half of the time.

"Tanya is not a bitch" okay, so sometimes she could be. Didn't every girl have a slight amount in them in reality though? Yea, just like I thought.

"Much" Rose muttered.

The two of them did not get along and to be honest I was not her biggest fan in the world either.

When I met her she had something I wanted and now she doesn't have it, it just doesn't feel right to want it. I have to share a room with her for another five months.

Five long months and that crap could just become awkward.

"To be honest I don't know, I can remember that I was starting to see double, it was like being in a room full of people with Tanya's posters on the wall so I put myself to bed" That many teenage boy band posters should not be allowed in a college dorm room. That should be left to the days of junior high or something. Or never.

"Lame" If puke or nakedness was not involved in the end of a night, Rose always classed it as lame. Well unless if the nakedness or puke involved Emmett she was not so interested in that either. Or so she claimed.

"What you call lame I call not waking up next to some strange guy or praying to the porcelain gods" cause its true. Alice just looked at me before stealing the last bit of my cereal.

"He was not strange" James was most definitely a strange one. Kind of creepy too.

"Enough, I am dying right now" Alice mumbled with her face buried in her hands "too much talky about puke and not enough shhhh"

Jasper finally reappeared after taking back the door to whoever he had taken it from in the first place.

"What was with the door?" I asked, cause I was damn curious about it. I mean who wouldn't be?

"I went up to this chicks room and I don't really know I just know that I decided I wanted it and she passed out so I apparently took my opportunity" he shook his head "Damn Emmett's shots"

"I hear that" a velvety voice came from down the hallway.

Edward Cullen.

Since the day I had moved in I had been crushing on him, but just my luck not only did he live in the dorm, so did his girlfriend, Tanya.

Tanya who I am sharing a room with.

It was and still is just damn awkward even if the two of them broke up in October.

Its now February.

And although Tanya has most defiantly not been a saint I have not seen Edward with any other girl. It makes me wonder if he is truly as over her as he says.

"Morning" he greeted us all and got a groan in response.

"What happened to you last night?" he asked me as he brewed a fresh pot of coffee that we had neglected to refill "Alice was banging on your door and calling you for over an hour"

"I went to bed"

"Wise move"

"One of the only wise moves I probably made last night"

One by one everyone emigrated from their rooms, or in Tanya's case from someone else's to chat about what happened last night while we cleaned up. Apart from Emmett that was. Always the same story.

We all however froze clutching an array of empties, plastic bags and in Alice's case some random guys shirt when we heard.

"My nipple is on facebook" shouted Angela, the quiet geeky girl who lived with us. Every single one of us turned to look at her in shock. She was not usually one to hang out with us at night favouring to stay in her room watching Anime or something. Last night though she had, from what I remember gotten a little bit hammered "Stupid James has posted a bunch of pictures and won't take them down"

"What a perv"

"This I have to see" Mike chuckled from the spot he has passed out on, which he has not moved from. He has simply cleaned around himself, as far as he could reach. Boys.

Not even a second later you could here the tell-tale signs of his blackberry buttons clicking.

"Fucking hell, he got crotch shots of every girl!" he shouted and jumped up causing us all to jump in fright of the sudden movement.

"Not only girls!" Mike shouted after a few minutes "He's got a folder of balls too, gross!"

"Now this I have to see!" Rose shouted from her room. We all ran to join her.

"His balls look like miss shapen chicken nuggets" Well I was never eating nuggets again, that was for sure.

"Who is that?"Angela asked.

"Who do we know that has ginger pubs?" Alice replied "One of baseball dudes?"

"Edward?" I smacked the back of her head "What he has the odd gingery brown shit going on with his hair"

"Rose" I groaned and balled my fists at my side.

I tried to read in my room but between my banging head induced by alcohol and Tanya's obnoxiously loud snoring I could not even get through one paragraph.

The snoring was getting on my last nerve.

Whenever she was hangover and hadn't slept the night before Tanya always sounded like a freight train.

How Edward had ever coped I will never know!

I should buy whoever made earplugs something nice. They had gotten me through this year so far.

Now that the kitchen and lounge area were back to normal, for students all seem to of congregated again to eat some takeout that Jasper had ordered. Emmett and Tanya excluded of course, because they were still in the land of nod.

"Why does Mike look like someone told him Santa's not real?" I asked sitting at the table between Angela and Rosalie while Alice sat opposite.

"What?" Alice turned to me with mock wide eyes "Santa's not real?"

Rose ignored Alice and simply explained.

"I told him that he did not want 'high-heel extraction' on his medical records" oh, okay.

"Because?" that needed an explanation. Without a doubt.

"Because he made a collage of the lovely pictures James posted on facebook and used them as his screensaver on his phone"

"Just the girls?" it was a legitimate question after what I had to witness earlier.

"What used to be his phone?" Alice corrected her.

"Again, what now?" Maybe I should get a shirt that just has 'please explain in more detail, easily confused' it could come in handy around here.

"Rose flushed it" no way.

"You flushed his phone?" she simply nodded "Down the toilet?"

"Because he wouldn't of wanted the heels, you really need to listen better Bella"

I starred at her before shaking my head "What I need to do is find some normal people to hang out with"

"Ahhh but imagine all the fun you would be missing out on if you had normal friends"

I couldn't help but smile at that because its true. I would probably be bored of my arse sitting in my room watching reruns of television shows on netflix all day and night.

A door in the corridor creaked open and we all look to the far end where Angela and Victoria's room was located.

"There has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning" Rosalie declared as we watched yet another man stumble out of Victoria's room followed by two more.

"Your one to talk" Alice pointed out before sucking pudding off her spoon.

"And with the way she stuffs It must be like her boobs just come off with her bra" Rose added as if not hearing Alice's comment.

"Guys, come on" I plead.

"What, it's the truth"

"Where are my pants?" Emmett croaked as he surveyed the now clean and tidy kitchen after finally emerging from his room just after four in the afternoon. I was quiet surprised that he didn't get a whiff of our food and come out earlier. Emmett loved his food and was always found munching on something. Most of the time it wasn't even his to be munching on.

"You don't remember?" Edwards sarcasm caused a few snickers around the room.

"Honestly there is a lot of things I am confused about, the only thing I know for certain is that I ate some pizza last night, which I took to bed" he admitted before waiting for someone to explain his pantless situation.

"You were going on all evening about the importance of not breaking the seal too early and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed" I told him "you then threw your pants out of that window" I pointed to the one that over looked the quad.

"Standard" was all he said sounding far to proud than he should be.

"You also may want to apologise to Tyler at some point too" Edward told him sporting a rather large smile on his face.

"Why?" Emmett sceptical face looked kind of worried. I however was interested in where he was going.

"You rubbed his face in your crotch before taking the pizza to your room because he tried to eat a slice you wanted"

One. Two. Three blinks of his eyes before he ran out of the room shouting something about bleach and showering.

"Tyler got a pee crotch rub?" I asked trying to hold in what could potentially be a full on laughing fit.

"Oh yes, it was a sight to see"

"Damn it, I always miss the good stuff" Or should I say I either pass out or take my ass to bed and miss the good stuff. Normally involving some type of naked moment or something that could mentally scar someone for life.

After showering and having some food Emmett went outside in the snow to look for his pants. None of us had the heart to tell him that he shouldn't. I mean would you really want a pair of pants you peed yourself in and had probably frozen overnight? No way.

"From the look of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like I was dancing in circles" I heard the distinct voice of Emmett as I sat at the coffee table in an attempt to do something towards the essay that was due soon. I was not holding much hope for that happening today though.

"Or maybe it was because instead of going to get clean pants from your room you decided to find the pee ones you threw out in the snow?" Jasper suggested. Poor guy has to share a room with Emmett. Unlucky.

"Which also explains the frozen puke I saw when checking the mailbox earlier" I muttered before turning back to my laptop.

"Ewww" Rose muttered flipping through channels on the television.

"Do you remember that night I almost got you arrested?" Alice asked looking over a magazine.

"Hmmmm" and it was not something I wanted to relive or even think about. My Dad would kill me, being the Chief of Police of my home town and all. There are some things a dad just doesn't need to know, and that my friends is one of them.

"Is that funny yet" I felt bad because she sounded kind of excited about it.

"No"

"Okay, good to know" I moved my eyes over in her direction to give the stink eye but she was already back to reading her magazine.

"That was the night of the great blackout of 2011, right?" Mike asked.

When we all confirmed he was right Jasper chuckled "The highlight of that blackout was Emmett drunk showering with a garden hose and then emailing his parents about requesting some vacation time"

"I am just going to do some personal loving" Emmett announced shooting daggers at Jasper. Apparently drunk Emmett didn't censer himself too well in that email and got a rather long call from them. It was only our fifth week and they were threatening to cut him off.

My eyes crunched up tightly and we all, no joke, we all groaned. Emmett was very loud, especially when he was doing some 'personal loving'.

"You do realise that we can hear you jacking off from your room. Right?" Edward told him as he made himself comfortable next to me.

"What can I say, I like it rough" was his explanation before disappearing off into his room for some 'personal loving'.

"Do you think there is any possible thing that would be able to embarrass him?"

"Nope" we all said in unison.

"Damn it" Rose hissed.

It would be fun to try a few things to see if we could though.

There was no way I was going to be suggesting it though.

Knowing my luck it would end up with starting a world war or something.