Happy half term everyone, happy end of exams to all concerned and happy Diamond Jubilee. Hopefully something to cheer you all up; or at least give you a laugh.

So I wasn't a great fan of season 15, haven't seen ATTFIL and this began as a collection of all the things I was disappointed by. How and why I decided to do it in script format is still a mystery to me. It was far harder than I thought it would be. It is meant to be tongue in cheek, if it helps imagine seeing it on sketch show done by Alistair McGowan or some group of impressionists.

Inspiration from BBC Writersroom Script Archive if you've not been there, there's a couple of SW scripts on there and you'll realise I've not lost it entirely. Also read some golden oldies recently so if you're new round here try Fault Lines: Greyslostwho, Always Watching: Copycat, Falling Apart: Slayergirl and anything by Charlotte88.

All Silent Witness characters belong to the BBC no infringement intended.

LINES by dinabar

1. STRAIGHT LINES: A Missing script from the end of FEAR Season 15

SCENE 1: INT. - LEO'S OFFICE - 1:15 p.m.

LEO sits alone at his computer, gazing into the distance. We are aware of his new impressionist painting on the wall. Outside his office door HARRY CUNNINGHAM hands NIKKI ALEXANDER her coat and helps her into it.

Leo smiles.

LEO (V.O.)

I'm a pathologist, I determine

cause of death,

there's always a cause; a reason.

I've needed

that reason,

it's been important to me.

It compensates me for what

I don't understand about life.

HARRY places NIKKI'S scarf around her neck and tenderly arranges it. HARRY looks towards LEO and smiles, as he does so he gently slaps NIKKI'S cheek and runs out of the office.

NIKKI (Squeals)

HARRY!

NIKKI chases HARRY. We see their outlines through the blinds at the windows of the far side of the office, NIKKI is gaining on him.

CUT TO

Leo's face, he smiles ruefully and gives a slight shake of the head.

LEO (V.O.)

But the longer I live,

the longer I look and the less

sense it makes to me. For every

action there is an equal reaction

yet the laws that govern the universe

seldom have anything to do with

what we know of human experience.

We are chaos. Unruleable.

So we turn to God or something else.

We will all die and there will

always be a reason, that's scientific fact.

But it's not the truth.

CUT TO

NIKKI chasing Harry along the corridor, her coat and scarf flapping wildly as she runs.

CUT TO

HARRY standing still, his back against a wall, obviously hiding and waiting for NIKKI to run past him. CLOSE IN ON FACE. He is breathless, but it is not clear whether this is due to the running or the laughter he is repressing.

CUT TO

NIKKI, her speed slows as she realises she cannot see HARRY anymore, and the evident corner.

CUT TO

HARRY, camera pans back to show he is next to the reflecting pool. He is still waiting for NIKKI to run past. He puts his head around the edge of the wall to look back up the corridor. Then quickly withdraws it.

CUT TO

NIKKI her pace slowed to a walk as she spots him. WE see her call into the dimly lit corridor.

NIKKI

Hah! Just you wait!

HARRY (V.O.)

You think I'm SCARED?

NIKKI

You should be.

She slows to a halt at the corner.

CUT TO

Harry, he is leaning over filling his cupped hands full of water, his timing is perfect as he turns and catches her full in the face as he throws his handful of water at her. NIKKI reacts: she is shocked and amused in equal measure. She grabs at his arm and wipes her face ostentatiously on his sleeve.

NIKKI

That was a REALLY stupid thing to do!

HARRY is struggling to control his laughter, he has found it hysterically funny but is tempering his enjoyment just in case she is justifiably furious with him and because she is making his jacket wet.

HARRY

Are you sure?

NIKKI looks up into his eyes, hoping to distract him as she quietly raises her right hand to tap him on the cheek, just as he had earlier. HARRY is too quick for her and grabs her hand and holds it tenderly against his cheek instead. He leans into her hand, blinks briefly.

They gaze at each other, standing so close to each other they are almost touching.

A MOMENT

HARRY

I'm sorry.

NIKKI

No you're not.

HARRY laughs. NIKKI pouts but just for show.