A Halloween/Mischief Night oneshot where nothing goes as originally planned :)
Disclaimers: I clearly (and sadly) don't own Teen Wolf - otherwise there would be waaay more platonic Sterek and we'd get to see Stiles without a shirt :P
I don't own the cover photo used for the story (no copyright infringement intended)
Warnings: None for once, I think - other than some bad language.
Have fun reading :D
Scott looks at the vast collection of bottles, jars and cans flooding the table at the animal clinic. If they are ever going to succeed at this it will be a miracle, he thinks to himself and lets out a breath.
"Don't just stand there" Stiles says and throws his friend a quick look before returning his gaze to the bowl. Orange fumes are beginning to spiral upwards and Stiles sucks in his bottom lip, trying to concentrate.
It's their first attempt at witchcraft, something they didn't even know was real until Stiles searched the bestiary at the station for completely different reasons. There is an entire section devoted to witches in the tome, and brewing up different potions is apparently their thing – just like in the fairy tales.
"Okay, what do you want m-"
"Tell me what needs to go in after the bat guano!" Stiles orders and keeps stirring the mixture in the bowl.
Scott looks down the book at the mile long ingredient list and finally finds the right spot.
"The, uh, the Japanese Woodweed" he says, crinkling his forehead.
Scott can't remember getting that ingredient for the potion.
"Yeah, we just have regular American Weed" Stiles remarks and scratches his nose.
"What? But it's supposed to be Japanese Woodweed!" Scott objects.
"Well, I'd like to see you get your hands on some freakin' Japanese Woodweed, wolfboy!"
Stiles has stopped stirring and raises his brows.
"Alright, fine" Scott says dismissively and holds up his hands, "wait", he continues then, "American Weed. Like weed weed?"
"Yes, Scott, weed weed. The best Beacon Hills has to offer, in fact" Stiles confirms.
"You bought marijuana for the potion?" Scott sighs at his friend.
"That is usually what the word weed implies, yes!" Stiles shoots sarcastically with a mischievous look om his face. He scratches his forehead before he continues.
"I didn't exactly buy it, though, there happened to be some just lying around the evidence locker at the station and I figured, hey we need it more than they do..."
"Oh my God, Stiles, if your dad finds out he's gonna kill you!"
Stiles rolls his eyes and searches his pocket for the bag. He quickly pulls out some of the weed and dumps it in the bowl. The fumes change from orange to green and an intense smell of pot spreads across the room.
"Alright, let's just get the last stuff in, so we can get it ready"
Stiles smiles deviously as he thinks about what'll happen if this works. It will be epic. The best trick ever played on mischief night. And on none other than Derek freakin' Hale!
Scott grabs the bottle of pumpkin juice and pours it in the bowl. The fumes subside and after a few minutes the potion seems to have settled into an orangy liquid with a spicy smell. Stiles whirls it around a few times and then pours it into an empty bottle. He corks it and turns to look at Scott.
"Alright, let's get going. Pack party awaits!"
It's not a real party though, just the pack hanging out at Derek's place, goofing off and celebrating one night without the supernatural dangers lurking around Beacon Hills.
When they arrive Kira and Malia are reviewing their mischief night trick that involved several feet of Saran wrap and sneaking in to the teachers' bathroom.
"I would have loved to have seen their faces!" Malia muses and smiles widely.
Lydia shakes her head and looks at Stiles.
"You're clearly a bad influence on your girlfriend!" she says playfully and Stiles throws Malia a warm glance.
"Nah, she'd have come up with something great on her own as well..."
Kira turns around to give Scott a kiss.
"Hey, you made it" she says and runs a hand through Scott's hair, "why are you late?"
"Oh" Scott exclaims and throws Stiles a quick look "we were just... finishing up at the animal clinic"
Stiles clears his throat and quickly walks up to Malia, pulling her in for a hug.
Derek narrows his eyes and gets up from the couch. He can clearly sense a whirl of emotions coming off Stiles and throws the lanky teen an investigative look.
"What are you so nervous about" he asks and frowns slightly.
"Uuuh, what" Stiles croaks, his voice octaves higher than usual, "I'm not-"
"Don't lie to me, Stiles!" Derek growls.
Stiles swallows hard, his mind racing to come up with an explanation. If Derek finds out about the potion he will no doubt go bat shit crazy, and Stiles prefers to at least have had a good laugh before being ripped to shreds!
"What the hell is that smell coming from your bag" Derek continues and easily hears Stiles' heart pound like mad.
Stiles can feel his cheeks heat up and he opens and closes his mouth a few times. Then inspiration hits. He takes off his backpack and rummages through it. Stiles pulls out the bestiary that's in the way and throws it on the table. Then he grabs the bag of weed. When Derek sees it he throws Stiles a menacing glance.
"You brought drugs here?!"
"Geez, you make it sound like I'm bringing a pound of meth, it's just weed, dude" Stiles says, trying to sound nonchalant.
The werewolf wags a finger in front of Stiles' face, making the teen flinch.
"Where the hell did you get that!"
"Well, that's why I'm a bit on edge, okay! I kinda nicked it from the evidence room at the station..."
Derek sighs loudly and clenches his teeth. What the hell's the matter with this kid!
"Your dad's gonna kill you!" he states flatly at the same time as Malia takes a step forward and whacks Stiles in the back of the head.
"For someone smart you can be really stupid sometimes!" she scolds and her boyfriend rolls his eyes.
"Hey!" Stiles scoffs and looks from Derek to Malia, "how the hell would my dad even find out? I don't suppose one of you are gonna tell him!"
Scott clears his throat and looks around at his pack who are all eying Stiles and Derek.
"Okaaay" Scott exclaims "nothing new here; Stiles doesn't think his plans through and Derek goes all Papa Sourwolf, let's just relax and have some fun instead, guys!"
Stiles and Derek both throw Scott angry glares, Stiles secretly thankful that his best friend comes to his rescue.
Lydia stands up, looking around at her friends.
"Well, now that we're all here I'll go prepare the food"
Stiles raises an eyebrow.
"Lydia no offense but your cooking sucks!"
The pretty strawberry blonde looks slightly taken aback.
"How is that not offensive!" she shoots, "And FYI I brought take out"
With that she leaves for the kitchen after placing her bottle of soda on the coffee table.
Derek exhales loudly but decides that he'll rather relax than kick Stiles' ass; at least for the time being. He plops down on the couch again, pointing at Stiles who has turned his back on Derek to grab his backpack.
"Put that shit back where it belongs when you leave here, okay!"
"Yessir, Mr. Sourwolf!" Stiles mutters under his breath and throws in a mock salute that Derek can't see.
"What was that?" Derek asks in a threatening voice.
Stiles inhales sharply and Scott nearly laughs out loud at how comically wide Stiles' eyes grow.
"Nothin'" Stiles answers, sounding rather squeaky.
Before turning around he quickly grabs the bottled potion from the bag, thinking that now might be as good a moment as any.
"Peace offering?" he says and extends the bottle towards Derek.
"What's that?" the werewolf asks, looking curiously at the orange liquid inside.
Scott grabs the bottle and uncaps it.
"It's supposed to be some sort of tasty Halloween soda. We haven't tasted it but it smells great!"
Derek takes the bottle from Scott and eyes it somewhat suspiciously. Both Scott and Stiles hold their breath and throw each other a quick look. Then Derek raises the bottle and takes a few huge gulps.
"Mm, that's actually pretty good" he says appreciatively and places the bottle on the table, nearly knocking over several of the ones already there.
A smile spreads on Stiles' face and he looks at Scott who is ogling the bigger werewolf carefully.
"What?" Derek shoots grimly, clearly sensing the excitement coming off the two younger boys.
When neither boy says anything but keep staring at him Derek gets off the couch. He takes a long step towards Stiles who backs up accordingly.
"What?" Derek growls again and grabs Stiles' shirt.
"Uuh..." Stiles lets out as he tilts his head, trying to see whether the werewolf in front of him is changing in any way. Nothing seems to be happening. When Derek twists the fabric in his hand Stiles jumps as his skin is pinched.
"Ow!" he exclaims and swallows hard when he returns his gaze to Derek.
"What the hell did I just drink?"
"It was just a joke!" Stiles begins and Scott jumps in to aid his friend.
"Yeah, you were kinda supposed to grow a tail but clearly it di-"
"A TAIL!" Derek roars while everyone else in the room giggles.
"Man, that would have been awesome!" Liam laughs, his smile quickly disappearing when Derek narrows his eyes at him.
"Aww, we could have called you Derek Tail" Malia shoots and Stiles can't contain his laughter.
Derek gives Stiles a shove and then points a finger at him.
"You two are lucky it didn't w-"
Derek stops mid sentence and his brows shoot up when he looks at his index finger. His entire hand is quickly swelling to balloon-esque proportions!
Stiles and Scott send each other a worried glance.
"Well that's definitely not supposed to happen!" Scott says and steps up to Derek to look closer at the bloated hand.
"No kidding!" Derek growls, the anger pulsing from him.
Then the process suddenly speeds up and both Derek's arms and legs puff up and start to rise into the air. Stiles lets out a hysterical snicker, because, Jesus fucking Christ, that sight is just too bizarre and hilarious. With a pop the rest of Derek's body follows and the werewolf immediately floats upwards.
"STILEEES!" he yells, his eyes wide and full of anger and shock.
"What the hell?!" both Liam and Malia gasp and Kira's mouth falls agape as she follows Derek with her eyes.
The large werewolf is cursing furiously, the puffed up body parts flailing helplessly and Stiles is nearly dying from laughing so hard.
"Oh my God!" he manages to get out, "you just went full-on Aunt Marge!"
Scott covers his mouth as to not make his amusement too obvious.
"What?" Derek roars in bewilderment and grits his teeth as his round form bumps against the ceiling.
"Aunt Marge" Stiles says again, finally able to speak without laughing, "you know, from Harry Potter!"
Derek sends him a look that leaves Stiles with absolutely no hope of surviving the night unscathed.
"Harry Potter's not your thing, obviously" he continues in a lower voice and clears his throat.
"Get. Me. Down!" Derek orders grimly.
Just then Lydia enters the room with the take out beautifully presented in bowls and on plates and she nearly drops it all when she notices Derek floating around like a balloon.
"What the hell is going on in here?" she asks and puts the food down.
Lydia grabs her drink from the table and eyes the flying werewolf again.
"Well" Scott says, "we tried brewing a potion that was supposed to make Derek grow a tail, but this happened instead!" he continues, gesturing upwards.
"The two of you!" Lydia sighs, sounding a lot like a stern mother, "we have to get him down" she continues and glares at the broomstick Kira is extending towards Derek. It's obviously way to short, though, and Derek sighs from under the ceiling, fed up with the entire situation.
"It's gonna wear off in an hour or something" Stiles says with a glint in his eyes.
He feels a lot safer at the moment with the sourwolf unable to wring his neck.
"AN HOUR!" Derek booms and shoots daggers at the boy on the floor, "Stiles I'm gonna rip your throat out when I get down!"
"Nah, we all know you secretly love me! You wouldn't kill me."
Lydia snorts out a laugh at Stiles' words and raises the bottle to take a sip.
"Fine, I won't kill you. But I'll tear your goddamn ears off!" Derek grumbles from up high.
Too late Stiles notices which bottle Lydia is holding.
"NO, Lydia!" he exclaims just as she starts lowering it.
"What?" she squeals, clearly alarmed.
Then she looks at the bottle and drops it with a shriek. The glass breaks and the remaining orange liquid pools on the wooden floor.
Lydia nearly starts hyperventilating and gets a panicky look on her face.
"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!" she wheezes and then looks at Scott and Stiles who are eying her warily.
"Maybe it doesn't work on you" Scott says feebly and shuffles his feet a little.
Secretly he thinks it would look pretty damn hilarious with two balloon-people under the roof, but he's clever enough to keep his mouth shut. Lydia might have changed a lot over the past few years, but her epic temper is still in there somewhere, just waiting to be awakened. Stiles doesn't think that far before he opens his mouth, though.
"Aww, you'll look cute with fat balloon hands Lydia" he says and flashes his teeth in a devious smile.
Lydia feels her face heat up in frustration and she quickly steps up to the boy in front of her. Her hand snakes out and she tweaks Stiles' ear so hard that he lets out an immediate string of curses.
"Ow, fuck, Lydia let go, I was just kidding, ow!"
She pulls his head forward, making him narrow his eyes from the sharp pain.
"Shut up, Stiles!" she sneers before letting go.
Stiles immediately rubs his ear and looks up at Derek who is snickering evilly at him from under the ceiling.
"What the hell is it with people and my ears!" Stiles hisses and glares at Lydia "first it was Erica, then Coach nearly ripped one of them off last year and now you. Leave the poor things alone!"
He looks like he is going to say something, but then Lydia's hand swells to the size of her head and soon the other one follows suit.
Stiles fights a smile and looks a the girl in front of him. She is breathing heavily and glares at her hands that look like they're trying to escape her. Just when her arms can't go any higher a solid pop sounds and both Lydia's feet leave the ground, making her fall flat on her butt with a loud thump.
"Fuckin' hell!" she swears desperately, tears starting to form in her eyes from anger and humiliation.
Kira and Malia quickly help Lydia to the couch where they weigh her down as best they can to keep her grounded.
"At least only your hands and feet ballooned" Scott tries, but Lydia just sends him a seething look that has him clamp his mouth shut.
Time moves slowly and the small talk is obviously awkward with one person scraping against the ceiling and another with hands and feet trying their best to get away from their owner. Derek constantly lets out threats and curses and at one point accidentally swings his arm so fast that his entire body flips around, making his face smack hard against the wooden ceiling.
"I've changed my mind" he growls "I'm definitely gonna rip your throat out!"
"Why are you only threatening me?" Stiles shoots indignantly, "Scott helped!"
"Hey!" Scott complains "way to go and drag me down with you, buddy!"
"You're always the freakin' instigator of this kinda shit!" Derek hisses "That's why!"
"No I'm n-, well that's, it's..." Stiles doesn't finish the sentence and sighs instead. Technically Derek's word might be kind of true!
"Dude" Scott says after a while, pulling at Stiles' sleeve, "maybe we should have made an antidote!"
Stiles blinks a few times and raises his brows.
"Yeah, just bring me a bezoar, that'll take care of it!"
"Enough with the Harry Potter references!" Kira says sternly, making Stiles feel all but ten years old.
"Yes, Mom!" he answers and shows off a sulky pout before turning his attention back to Scott, "Come on man, the effect will wear off in like ten minutes! You don't make antidotes for potions that only last for a limited period of time"
After eight minutes Stiles looks up at Derek's floating form and thinks he can sense a slight decrease in the balloonish shape.
"Well" he states "I think I'll call it a day, I'm exhausted!"
He grabs for his backpack but when he turns to walk to the door Derek is standing right in front of him. Stiles lets out a strange, squeaky tone and swallows hard.
"Hi!" Derek says with a wide smile before pushing Stiles across the room, pinning him harshly against the wall.
"Oomph" Stiles huffs as he hits the bricks, "a little help here?!" he wheezes and looks at Malia.
"Stiles, you kinda deserves it don't you think" his girlfriend says and Stiles sends her a look of sheer disbelief.
His attention is brought back to the werewolf in front of him when he feels Derek grope in his pocket for his phone.
"Hey!" Stiles exclaims indignantly but can't do anything to prevent it.
Derek looks straight into Stiles' eyes as he flips through the contacts and stops when he reaches "Dad".
"No, Derek come on, it was just a prank!" Stiles begs and licks his lips nervously.
Derek just keeps his eyes on Stiles as he makes the call, the other hand still squashing the younger boy against the wall uncomfortably.
Stiles can hear the phone ringing and silently hopes that his Dad won't answer. It rings three times and Stiles is gaining confidence that his Dad is too busy to talk at the moment.
"What is it Stiles?"
Stiles can hear his Dad through the phone and he feels his heart sink. Well shit!
"Mr. Stilinski, it's Derek" the werewolf says, not taking his eyes off Stiles for even a second, "No, no he's fine. He's right here he just didn't want me to make this call!"
Stiles can feel his heart beating like crazy but still clings to the hope that Derek is just messing with him.
"Have you noticed anything missing from the station?" Derek asks and raises an eyebrow when he sees Stiles pale significantly, "Yes, exactly. Well Stiles stole it, and I thought it was my responsibility as an adult to tell you!"
Stiles feels like he is going to faint. He would have believed Derek to do a lot of things, but never something like this. They may quarrel a lot and Derek can get pretty physical when he gets fed up with him, but Stiles felt certain he would never rat him out to his Dad like this!
"Yes, okay, I'll tell him" Derek nods and then hangs up.
Then he releases his hold on Stiles who nearly crumbles to the floor.
"What the fuck Derek!" Stiles yells, clearly agitated, "You told my Dad I stole a bag of weed from the station! He's gonna kick my ass into next week!"
"Yeah, honestly that was a dick move!" Liam adds with a frown.
"Oh my God" Stiles continues his rant, "I won't see the sun again until I'm 50!"
"Your Dad said to tell you he'll be here in five minutes" Derek says calmly.
Stiles flails his arms wildly and turns to Scott.
"What the hell am I gonna do, Scott? You know my Dad, and you said it yourself; he's gonna kill me!"
"He's not gonna kill you! You just have to get this over with" Scott grabs Stiles around his shoulders to stop his pacing but Stiles shakes off his touch.
"Just get it over with" Stiles echoes in a mock voice, "what if you had to tell your Mom something like this? Would you just want to get it over with?!"
Scott's eyes grow wide at the mere thought and then thinks of all the times he and Stiles have been caught doing something stupid. This surpasses everything they've done, maybe except for kidnapping Jackson and locking him in a stolen prison transport, and the punishment for that one isn't something Scott enjoys thinking back on!
"Yeah, he's definitely gonna kill you! Nice knowing you, man!"
There's a knock on the door and Stiles lets out a pathetic squawk. He swallows hard and feels his stomach whirl as Derek opens the door.
"Mr. Stilinski" Derek says and lets the sheriff pass him.
John nods in response, greets everybody in the room and sends Malia a warm smile. Then he turns his attention to his son who looks ready to puke any minute.
"How many times have we had a talk about lifting stuff from the station?!" the sheriff says, his voice exasperated and stern.
"Dad, I can explain" Stiles gulps and raises his hands defensively.
"Are you sure about that, 'cause the way I see it nothing you can come up with makes stealing okay! Let's go!"
John snaps his fingers and Stiles hangs his head in defeat. He closes the distance to his Dad and isn't surprised at the firm grip around his neck that awaits him, it is his Dad's signature move after all. Stiles feels sick and still can't wrap his head around the fact that Derek did this to him over something as innocent as a potion prank on mischief night!
Just as Stiles and the sheriff are about to exit through the door Derek calls out.
"Hey, if you forget this you can't put it back where it belongs!" he says and holds up the bestiary.
Stiles' jaw drops and he shoots daggers at Derek. John nods appreciatively and grabs the tome before turning around again.
"If you needed the bestiary so badly, you should have just asked, Stiles! Now that we know Parrish is a phoenix it doesn't have to stay at the station all the time, so why the hell did you break the law to get it?!"
"I... it was..." Stiles mutters, not really knowing what to say, "force of habit, I guess"
John cocks an eyebrow at that comment, not liking the fact that Stiles calls breaking the law a habit.
"You're grounded! Now move your ass!"
John exits the house and waits for his son outside. Stiles sighs deeply and looks at the werewolf, who has an annoyingly smug look plastered on his face.
"I fuckin' hate you!" Stiles growls at Derek, but can't help but smile a little.
Derek shrugs and flashes his pearly whites.
"If you prank me I'll prank you back!"
Stiles turns around to join his dad, but stops when he hears Derek clear his throat.
"And Stiles" he says, sending the teen a pointed look, "if you ever do something like this again, I will rip your throat out... with my teeth!"
So, I hope you had fun :D
I would love some feedback on this so if you've got time for it drop a review with your thoughts and I'll be forever grateful \m/
Happy Halloween out there people - and be nice to the ones you prank or they just might rip your throat out... with their teeth
- Rikke