("Authors" notes – I don't own any characters, fandoms or shit like that. If I did, there would definitely be a SwanQueen endgame!)
"So anyway, once Mr Finch told us about the Box Of Grabcock…."
"Gavrok Buffy. The Box Of Gavrok", corrected Giles as he fought to keep his smirk from his face, Faith had no such qualms and beamed majestically. A crude pun brewing on her tongue.
"Whatever", shrugged Buffy before any such gag could air, "He told us it was going to be flown in from Cuba so you told the Council and they sent a team to steal it before it got on the plane. They swiped it, destroyed it, Ascension averted. Giles, you know all this, why are you making us tell it again?"
"Well I was going through my Watcher's diary last night, making a few notes about the G'farl demon you encountered last week, and I spilled my sherry over several pages so I need to re-write them", replied the Englishman a little embarrassed as he scribbled down every detail his slayers could furnish him with.
"Bummer", said Faith as she frustratedly started to bite into her packet of Skittles as it's wrapper seemed strangely impervious to her slayer strength.
"Oh give them here", scoffed Buffy as she snatched them away and, with one forceful tug, ripped the packet in half sending a fruity rainbow scattering across the table.
"Smooth B. Real smooth", chuckled Faith as her nimble fingers flicked between the Skittles so she could find all the green ones she loved so much.
"Oh shut up Fai", huffed the blonde slayer as she picked one from her girlfriend's cupped hands.
"So, after Mr Finch….", continued Giles with a roll of the eyes wondering just how bad their combined ADHD must be.
"You know it sucked that the mayor had that Finch guy killed. I thought he was kinda dorky but ok", said Faith recalling how they were unable to stop the horde of vampires from silencing the Deputy Mayor in a wash of bloody violence.
"Yeah, I thought so too", said Buffy as she took a seat on her girlfriends lap, "Fai, do you ever think about that night in the alley when we met Finch?"
"Hell yeah", grinned the Beantown native vividly recalling that night.
"I mean, imagine if we were fighting vamps or something when he jumped out on us, who knows what could've happened if we were caught up in the heat of battle"
"I seeya point", grinned Faith as her fingers ran along the waistband of Buffy's skirt, "Lucky we were making out"
"Yeah", smiled back Buffy as she placed a chaste kiss on the end of Faith's nose knowing how light and fluffy displays of romance always made the Boston girl uncomfortable.
"It was the first time you let me…"
"So Giles", butted in Xander trying not to think of the two slayers in front of him being so tender and saccharine sweet, "Any word on the Mayor?"
"I'm afraid not. Since the box was destroyed and he could no longer ascend he fled town. With nothing left to gain here I guess he knew that he was just prolonging the inevitable, that we would find a weakness in him sooner or later and then finish him", replied the Watcher closing his diary, his fingers aching from all the notes and addendums which had spilled from his pen.
"But what do we do now? I mean these things usually come to a head just before we break up for the summer, but we still have a while until graduation and there's no big bad anymore", said Willow as she munched on the Skittles which had rolled across the table to her.
"Well as a dress rehearsal for summer, I was thinking road trip this weekend", said Xander with sudden enthusiasm.
"Shotgun!", snapped Faith making Buffy jump on her lap.
"Dammit", muttered Willow knowing that sitting in the back of Xander's car with Buffy meant that she would have to be the one to hold the paper bag. Though Buffy was a slayer she was still a martyr to car sickness.
"Ah yes, I for one, am certainly looking forward for summer to begin. I can't wait to hear the sound of leather striking willow", said Giles softly as coughs, splutters and half chewed Skittles rattled across the library.
"Giles!", squawked Buffy in shock, "You want to do what!?"
"Oh G-man, get down with your bad self", snickered Faith watching as Willow's face flushed until it matched the color of her hair.
"B-b-but…I never told…", stammered the fledgling witch as she felt her skin burn.
"I was talking about cricket", said Giles with a furrowed brow, "The balls are made of leather, the bats are made of willow wood. Why, what did you think I was talking about?"
"Oh man, that's priceless", laughed Faith as the scoobies, especially Willow, breathed a collective sigh of relief.
"Ah, I'm glad you're all here", came an eager voice of clipped and precise tones as the library doors burst open swinging wildly on its ungreased hinges.
"What the hell?", Faith snapped at the unwelcome voice.
"Quentin, this is a surprise", said Giles with a strange echo as he watched the rapidly balding man swiftly cross the library.
"I have no time for pleasantries, Rupert", said the leader of the Council as he took a seat opposite the two slayers who, feeling uncomfortable under his stern gaze, slipped apart to sit on two separate chairs.
"Oh come on Quentin, there's always time for a coffee. I have Gold Blend", Giles replied lightly as he shook the beans in his hand.
"Not this time I'm afraid", Quentin said fixing his eyes on Faith and Buffy, "We have a problem. A big problem"
"Dude, you missed the big news. The Mayor has gone adios and we're on easy street for….", Faith said before Mr Travers cut her off impatiently.
"It's not as simple as that. It never is. But Faith, Buffy, tell me…..do you believe in fairytales?"
"What?", said Buffy raising a well-plucked brow in confusion.
"You heard me. Do you believe in fairytales?". Quentin's voice now taking on an urgent echo.
"Course not, dumbass. Do you think we're like five or something?", snorted Faith derisively.
"Now hang on a minute girls, all fairytales have their basis in reality. Hansel and Gretel, Rumpelstiltskin, in fact ….wait….. Quentin ….does this mean …..t-the curse?", Giles uttered as his smile faded and his face paled.
"Yes, I'm sorry to say it's been broken …and she is on her way"
"Oh shit…she'll ruin everything", gasped Giles as his legs faltered and he stumbled into the seat of a chair.
"Giles….d-did you just swear?", stammered Willow in shock.
"Under the circumstances, I think such language is appropriate", said Quentin as he pulled out a file and placed it on the table, "You see, there is a realm, another dimension if you like, where all the fairytale characters you heard of as a child, well they're real"
"You're shittin' me", coughed Faith.
"No Miss Lehane, I am not, as you so eloquently put it, 'shitting you'. It's all very true", said Quentin as he leafed through the thin papers in the file.
"Real? As in real real? Snow White, Cinderella and all that?", said Buffy as her eyes opened widely in disbelief.
"Yes, all very real"
"So what? Even if they are real, what does that have to do with us?", Faith grunted not liking the fearful look parading in Giles' eyes.
"There is too much to explain so I'll just sum up as time is of the essence. There was a curse cast upon everyone in this fairytale realm which brought them to our reality. For the past sixteen years they've been trapped in a small town in Maine in human form with no memory of who they truly are", Quentin sighed fearing the outburst soon to come his way.
"Hang on", interrupted Willow, her composure now returned, "If they've only been here for sixteen years how come all the fairytales based around them have been about for hundreds of years?"
"Time moves very differently in their dimension, when they say 'ever after' they mean 'ever after'. Occasionally, due to failed magicks or spells, someone from this reality turns up in theirs, or vice versa. It's how their tales entered our culture in the first place, how else do you think magic first came to our world?"
"Dude, you still haven't answered my question. What the hell does this have to do with us?", Faith pressed.
"I'm getting to that. The curse which trapped them here has been broken, we don't know how, but all the citizens of Storybrooke have returned home to their realm….all except one", Quentin said mournfully.
"Lemme guess. Betty Boop?", Faith smirked.
"Faith, Betty Boop isn't a fairytale character", corrected Buffy.
"Is so"
"Is not"
"Is so"
"Girls!", snapped Quentin tearing the two slayers from their childish bickering, "The one who remains is the one who cast the curse in the first place….the evil Queen"
"Dude, you talk so much shit I'm amazed you haven't prolapsed your own face"
"Miss Lehane, I am unfortunately not joking in this matter"
"Oh", said Buffy placing a hand on Faith's thigh as she could see the truth dancing within Quentin's eyes, "So how come this evil Queen is stuck here in our world?"
"We don't know, there must have been some kind of catch, fineprint in the curse if you will, which has trapped her here…..but her magicks have returned to her now. She spent the last sixteen years here in our reality without them, but now the curse had been broken her powers have flooded back. Powers the likes of which you have never seen", Quentin leaned back in the chair wishing her hadn't given up smoking as this certainly was a nicotine moment.
"So what if she's some sorceress? I'm pretty nifty with…", started Willow pompously but was cut off quickly.
"Willow, you've learned what little magic you have through reading books without even stopping to understand the basic elements of it. Magic is not of our realm, it is borne of theirs. And Regina has more power than you could ever know, she could kill us all before we could even draw breath, and she is on her way here", said Giles finally regaining his shaky voice.
"Sounds badass", said Xander trying, and failing as ever, to be witty.
"She is", replied Quentin as his calm façade began to crack for he knew of the true power of the Queen.
"So what does this have to do with us? She wants the bragging rights of taking down a slayer? Well bring it on missy", said Buffy defiantly.
"We have a vague and dodgy theory about the curse, that she cannot leave this world until she reclaims that which was stolen from her"
"Which is?", asked Buffy.
"Her daughter", Giles breathed solemnly.
"Fine, we'll get Willow on the computer and we can track down some…."
"No Faith, you don't understand", said Quentin with a heavy gulp, "You areher daughter"