"Quipster, I'm bored!"
It was a quiet summer day in the lodging house, and like usual, Quipster and Itey had nothing to do.
"Well" Quipster began, "We could go sell papers."
Itey stared at her and immediately the two burst into laughter.
"Good one!" Itey gasped for breath.
Before Quipster could reply a loud ruckus was heard from the boys bunkroom.
"Itey!" a voice yelled angrily.
Jack stormed in with no pants on and glared at Itey.
"Wheah are me pants Itey?"
"I didn't take em!" Itey replied innocently.
"I know ya took 'em, you always take 'em! They was hangin' on me bed post 5 minutes ago and now they'se gone!" Jack shouted. Although it was a bit hard to take him seriously, with him having no pants and all.
"What were ya doing for five minutes without yer pants?" questioned Quipster quizzically.
Stress walked out of the boys bunkroom grinning and fixing her hair.
"Actually, I think it was more like ten minutes."
Jack blushed and Itey looked nervous.
"Jack, you know you ain't supposed tah do dat in da house, Kloppman gets mad!"
Jack shrugged carelessly, "Who cares, besides, where else am I supposed tah go."
"The boys got a point Itey" Quipster laughed. "Jist give him his pants."
Itey grumbled and retrieved Jacks pants.
"Thank you" Jack replied, snatching them from Iteys tight grasp and slipping back into them.
"We gotta go" Stress smiled "See ya later!"
And with that, they were off.
Itey sighed, "Dis lodgin house is borin, no sex, nothin tah do, and no pants stealin!"
A light bulb suddenly went off in Quipsters head, her eyes lit up and her jaw dropped.
"What?" Itey was afraid of that look, it always meant trouble.
"Let's start our own Lodging House!" she squealed.
"Hey, dats not a bad idea!" replied a surprised Itey, his disposition suddenly changed, "But we need an adult tah run it, we don't know any adults cept Kloppman and" Itey shivered, "Denton."
Quipster frowned dejectedly, "Oh yea."
Another eruption of yells.
"Itey, how many other peoples pants didja steal?!" Quipster exclaimed.
"None, it's been a slow day."
Suddenly the door to the roof burst open and there was Kloppman, pulling Tunes and Skittery behind him.
"And dats it...fer three weeks!" he then stormed off.
"What just happened here?" asked a confused Quipster.
Tunes sighed, "Kloppman caught us up on the roof, now we're both on house arrest, except fer sellin, for three weeks!"
Skittery simply nodded, he was still blushing furiously due to the fact that they had been caught, and also that they hadn't finished, which was painfully obvious....if you know what I mean.
"And it's all his fault!" Tunes yelled pointing to Skittery.
"Me?! You're the one that wanted to do it on the roof!" he protested.
"Shut up, you're retahded!"
Skittery looked at her and grinned, "You are!"
Tunes then jumped on him and they started making out furiously.
Quipster ran into the washroom and grabbed a bucket of ice water that just happened to be lying around, ran back out, and threw it on them.
"Hey!" Tunes started yelling at Quipster, but was cut off.
"Tunes do you know any adults?" Quipster asked.
"Yea, Mr. and Mrs. Johnson....."
Quipster jumped for joy, "Do you think they would sponsor our Lodging House?!"
"We have a Lodging House?" Tunes asked flatly
"Yes...well, we do now, you can run it with me!" Quipster was receiving death glares from Itey. "Itey, you will run the boys side and me and Tunes will run the girls side!"
Itey smiled in excitement then frowned. "I can't run it all by meself!"
"Well, Skittery can run it with ya!" Quipster offered.
Skittery scowled at that remark, "No, I don't wanna, to much responsibility."
"Oooh, responsibility, I dunno then...." Tunes agreed
"Tunes, you're doing it! End of story!" Quipster yelled, "And Itey, just find someone else to run the boys side with you."
"Like who?" he pouted
"Ummmmm" Quipster had no idea, but she wasn't going to let them know that. "Tunes' sidekick!"
"Tunes has a sidekick?" Itey asked
"I already said no!" Skittery complained.
Quipster sighed, "Not you Skittery! You're not her sidekick, you're her sex slave."
Skittery grinned, "Oh yea"
Quipster rolled her eyes and continued, " Tunes' sidekick is Swifty! DUH!"
Tunes pulled Quipster to the side, "Umm, Quip, Swifty isn't really my sidekick, he just toils at my beck and call for no reason....."
"Well, upgrade him to sidekickhood!"
Tunes thought it over, "Ok!"
"Then it's all settled, we can have our own Lodging House!"
"Wait, wait, wait. Where is the building gonna be?" Itey asked, not wanting to be to far from where he was now.
"Well," Tunes explained "Oddly enough the Johnsons own a large house that could easily be converted into a Lodging House over on Bleeker Street."
"How convenient" remarked Itey.
"Indeed. Now, we have to think up reasons that would make people that live here, want to live there." Quipster pondered.
"We'se allowed to steal pants!" Itey exclaimed.
Everyone stared at Itey and kept on thinking.
"Sex!" Tunes shouted.
"uh, I dunno Tunsie, Quipster just hit us with ice water, and, I'se not really 'up to it' if ya get what I'm sayin..." Skittery explained quietly, so as not to anger the almighty Tunes.
Tunes rolled her eyes, "No, I mean, you're allowed to have sex in this Lodging House!"
Everyone began talking at once, in excitement of this prospect.
"Wait, wait, wait!" Quipster shouted.
Everyone paused.
"I'm confused."
"And that should surprise us, why?" Tunes asked impatiently.
"Shut up! What I mean is, it's 1899, sex isn't an openly discussed subject, yet this Lodging House is running rampant with it, so much to the point where Kloppman had to create a no sex rule. Us girls are that whore-ish? This just doesn't seem realistic." Quipster stated.
"I hate realists." Tunes muttered silently.
Skittery tossed her a hurt look.
"Except for you Skitts...Hey, how did you hear that anyway?"
Skittery shrugged and grinned.
Tunes shook her head and took a deep breath, turning to Quipster. "Sex isn't a highly discussed subject, true. But, we're a bunch of parentless teenagers living in a confined co-ed situation, no matter what time period, some are going to take a liking to others. And, especially with teens, there's pent up sexual tension that needs to be dealt with. We're street trash the lowest of the low, so what should we care about a little bit of promiscuity? It's not like we have a reputation to uphold. Haven't you ever read 'Dangerous Liaisons'? There have been whores all throughout time, some just hide it better than others. Face it, as long as there's some horny jerk that needs to get his rocks off, there is gonna be some slutty girl there, more than happy to help."
"Really?!" asked Itey excitedly.
"Hypothetically Itey." Tunes sighed at Itey's gullibility while Itey sighed in defeat.
Quipster shrugged, "Ok then, let's go!"
It was a quiet summer day in the lodging house, and like usual, Quipster and Itey had nothing to do.
"Well" Quipster began, "We could go sell papers."
Itey stared at her and immediately the two burst into laughter.
"Good one!" Itey gasped for breath.
Before Quipster could reply a loud ruckus was heard from the boys bunkroom.
"Itey!" a voice yelled angrily.
Jack stormed in with no pants on and glared at Itey.
"Wheah are me pants Itey?"
"I didn't take em!" Itey replied innocently.
"I know ya took 'em, you always take 'em! They was hangin' on me bed post 5 minutes ago and now they'se gone!" Jack shouted. Although it was a bit hard to take him seriously, with him having no pants and all.
"What were ya doing for five minutes without yer pants?" questioned Quipster quizzically.
Stress walked out of the boys bunkroom grinning and fixing her hair.
"Actually, I think it was more like ten minutes."
Jack blushed and Itey looked nervous.
"Jack, you know you ain't supposed tah do dat in da house, Kloppman gets mad!"
Jack shrugged carelessly, "Who cares, besides, where else am I supposed tah go."
"The boys got a point Itey" Quipster laughed. "Jist give him his pants."
Itey grumbled and retrieved Jacks pants.
"Thank you" Jack replied, snatching them from Iteys tight grasp and slipping back into them.
"We gotta go" Stress smiled "See ya later!"
And with that, they were off.
Itey sighed, "Dis lodgin house is borin, no sex, nothin tah do, and no pants stealin!"
A light bulb suddenly went off in Quipsters head, her eyes lit up and her jaw dropped.
"What?" Itey was afraid of that look, it always meant trouble.
"Let's start our own Lodging House!" she squealed.
"Hey, dats not a bad idea!" replied a surprised Itey, his disposition suddenly changed, "But we need an adult tah run it, we don't know any adults cept Kloppman and" Itey shivered, "Denton."
Quipster frowned dejectedly, "Oh yea."
Another eruption of yells.
"Itey, how many other peoples pants didja steal?!" Quipster exclaimed.
"None, it's been a slow day."
Suddenly the door to the roof burst open and there was Kloppman, pulling Tunes and Skittery behind him.
"And dats it...fer three weeks!" he then stormed off.
"What just happened here?" asked a confused Quipster.
Tunes sighed, "Kloppman caught us up on the roof, now we're both on house arrest, except fer sellin, for three weeks!"
Skittery simply nodded, he was still blushing furiously due to the fact that they had been caught, and also that they hadn't finished, which was painfully obvious....if you know what I mean.
"And it's all his fault!" Tunes yelled pointing to Skittery.
"Me?! You're the one that wanted to do it on the roof!" he protested.
"Shut up, you're retahded!"
Skittery looked at her and grinned, "You are!"
Tunes then jumped on him and they started making out furiously.
Quipster ran into the washroom and grabbed a bucket of ice water that just happened to be lying around, ran back out, and threw it on them.
"Hey!" Tunes started yelling at Quipster, but was cut off.
"Tunes do you know any adults?" Quipster asked.
"Yea, Mr. and Mrs. Johnson....."
Quipster jumped for joy, "Do you think they would sponsor our Lodging House?!"
"We have a Lodging House?" Tunes asked flatly
"Yes...well, we do now, you can run it with me!" Quipster was receiving death glares from Itey. "Itey, you will run the boys side and me and Tunes will run the girls side!"
Itey smiled in excitement then frowned. "I can't run it all by meself!"
"Well, Skittery can run it with ya!" Quipster offered.
Skittery scowled at that remark, "No, I don't wanna, to much responsibility."
"Oooh, responsibility, I dunno then...." Tunes agreed
"Tunes, you're doing it! End of story!" Quipster yelled, "And Itey, just find someone else to run the boys side with you."
"Like who?" he pouted
"Ummmmm" Quipster had no idea, but she wasn't going to let them know that. "Tunes' sidekick!"
"Tunes has a sidekick?" Itey asked
"I already said no!" Skittery complained.
Quipster sighed, "Not you Skittery! You're not her sidekick, you're her sex slave."
Skittery grinned, "Oh yea"
Quipster rolled her eyes and continued, " Tunes' sidekick is Swifty! DUH!"
Tunes pulled Quipster to the side, "Umm, Quip, Swifty isn't really my sidekick, he just toils at my beck and call for no reason....."
"Well, upgrade him to sidekickhood!"
Tunes thought it over, "Ok!"
"Then it's all settled, we can have our own Lodging House!"
"Wait, wait, wait. Where is the building gonna be?" Itey asked, not wanting to be to far from where he was now.
"Well," Tunes explained "Oddly enough the Johnsons own a large house that could easily be converted into a Lodging House over on Bleeker Street."
"How convenient" remarked Itey.
"Indeed. Now, we have to think up reasons that would make people that live here, want to live there." Quipster pondered.
"We'se allowed to steal pants!" Itey exclaimed.
Everyone stared at Itey and kept on thinking.
"Sex!" Tunes shouted.
"uh, I dunno Tunsie, Quipster just hit us with ice water, and, I'se not really 'up to it' if ya get what I'm sayin..." Skittery explained quietly, so as not to anger the almighty Tunes.
Tunes rolled her eyes, "No, I mean, you're allowed to have sex in this Lodging House!"
Everyone began talking at once, in excitement of this prospect.
"Wait, wait, wait!" Quipster shouted.
Everyone paused.
"I'm confused."
"And that should surprise us, why?" Tunes asked impatiently.
"Shut up! What I mean is, it's 1899, sex isn't an openly discussed subject, yet this Lodging House is running rampant with it, so much to the point where Kloppman had to create a no sex rule. Us girls are that whore-ish? This just doesn't seem realistic." Quipster stated.
"I hate realists." Tunes muttered silently.
Skittery tossed her a hurt look.
"Except for you Skitts...Hey, how did you hear that anyway?"
Skittery shrugged and grinned.
Tunes shook her head and took a deep breath, turning to Quipster. "Sex isn't a highly discussed subject, true. But, we're a bunch of parentless teenagers living in a confined co-ed situation, no matter what time period, some are going to take a liking to others. And, especially with teens, there's pent up sexual tension that needs to be dealt with. We're street trash the lowest of the low, so what should we care about a little bit of promiscuity? It's not like we have a reputation to uphold. Haven't you ever read 'Dangerous Liaisons'? There have been whores all throughout time, some just hide it better than others. Face it, as long as there's some horny jerk that needs to get his rocks off, there is gonna be some slutty girl there, more than happy to help."
"Really?!" asked Itey excitedly.
"Hypothetically Itey." Tunes sighed at Itey's gullibility while Itey sighed in defeat.
Quipster shrugged, "Ok then, let's go!"