His Screw Up
There were pictures dotted about over the coffin, some looking somewhat normal considering who it was. The place was all fashioned out to be made a little cheerier, but it didn't exactly work. I watched some of the people present. Gandhi had both his arms around Carla and Barbie, the two woman's cheeks soaked in fresh tears and old ones, yet they were both silent as a mouse. Blondie tried to hold back a choked sob and nearly made it, but it came out as a little squeal. I sat a row behind, staring straight ahead of me without a glimpse of emotion on my face. Newbie sat to my right, hands in his lap and head bowed down. His eyes were closed, like he was sleeping, but even that goofball wasn't rude at funerals. Bob was to my left, just letting out a small, disheartened sigh. But our story doesn't begin here. No, it began a few days ago in the hospital, as it always does...
I was leaning back against the admittance desk, writing in some patient's chart. The door opened and in walked the entire crowd. Gandhi, his wife, Carla and Blondie. They were rabbiting on about some party. I always did pretend to listen to less than what I did. Carla strutted in behind the desk and removed her jacket and picked up a load of charts, pretending to look half busy. Barbie walked off to fetch her lab coat, while Newbie and Gumball stood beside me, still discussing the details.
"How about pink streamers?" Sally suggested, proving again that he was such a girl.
"Chocolate rain," Gandhi came back at him, sounding a little smug.
Carol-Ann furrowed his brow and made a move to say something, but ended up sneezing instead in Gumball's face. It took every ounce of strength I had not to laugh. 'Course, I was going to saying something snide. I closed over the chart and folded my arms, holding the folder to my chest.
"Looks like we got a case of the sneezies," I said sarcastically, "We should probably admit you right away. Nurse, get her a gown, I think she's in labor."
I grinned at my little speech. Admittedly, a little harsh, but hell, he was the one I knew who could deal with it.
"What just 'cause you've got a kid, makes it alright for you to just gloat to other people?" he spat back, walking past me, his shoulder just bumping with mine.
My mouth dropped open a little and I turned my head, bring my eyebrows together.
"What... What just happened?" I asked, turning to Gandhi.
"Don't worry, he's just in the dumps because everyone has families right now," he explained.
"Is it her time of the month?"
"Dude! Can't you lay off or is it just hot wired into you to screw with J.D?"
He never stayed around for me to answer and it was probably just as well, because now I felt this amount of guilt. Yep, definitely his time of the month, I thought to myself, before shrugging off the tiny bit of guilt and carrying on with my usual work.
A few hours later, I finally decided to take my break and wandered into the doctor's lounge. I was most unhappy to see Holly sitting on my couch which I would stretch out on and watch Days of Ours Lives. I stood in front of him and tapped his knee with the paper.
"Move or die painfully," I growled.
Without a word, he got up and sat on the opposite couch, closing his eyes and leaning his head back, a goofy smile on his face. He was away in one of his fantasies again. I shook my head and sat down, stretching my feet out on the cushion just as an intern tried to sit down.
"Ah, floating Turk head doctor. It would be chocolate rain heaven," Newbie mumbled out, making a regretful sigh.
"I'm not gonna ask," I said in reply, my still scanning over the most boring paper ever. The sports section was terrible!
After that we remained silent. Newbie brought his knees up to his chin and lay on his side, curling up and closing his eyes. Obviously he was going to use his break for sleep. An actual wise idea. He coughed a couple of times and wrapped his arms tighter around his knees, scrunching up his face. It was then that my beeper decided to be pest a bleep its head off. I flung the paper at Newbie, hitting his shoulder and read the page. Stupid interns, I whined internally. I rushed off to deal with them, making sure they didn't kill the man. When I returned, Newbie's eyes were open, scanning over the paper I had tossed him. I grabbed it back and plonked myself back down on the couch.
"I was reading-" he cut himself off with a cough, and a bad one at that.
I glanced over the paper, seeing him sitting forward and coughing his germs onto the table.
"You should get the cough checked out, Gladys," I suggested.
"Yeah... Maybe... I've had it for a-" I cut him off this time.
"Bup bup bup. Did I say I wanted the back story to fragile, girly body. I could snap you in half it's so pathetic."
He shrugged, obviously forgetting about this morning, with a vague look upon his face. He upped from his position on the couch and gave me a kind smile, something that neither looked creepy, nor goofy. In fact, it was just a normal smile, not his childish grin. He turned to the door and walked out of sight. I watched the door, somehow expecting him to come back and ask me to check his cough. It was probably nothing, but I did worry about him...sometimes.
About forty minutes later, I was going over some case reports at the nurses' station, when an intern from earlier came up to me, handing me a chart. I frowned at the intern and opened it up.
"He went into respiratory failure. We tried what we could, but...uh...nothing worked. He's dead," the fair haired boy mumbled, looking down at his shoes.
I placed the chart down on the counter, leaving it open and turned to the intern, folding my arms. Newbie popped up behind me, glancing at the chart.
"You better leave in the next five seconds, or I swear to God, this patient won't be the only one who's dead!" I roared.
Like a little girl, the intern squealed and ran away. I turned back to the chart, where Newbie was bent over, looking over its contents.
"It wasn't their fault, you know. They never thought of checking for fluid in his lungs," Newbie shrugged.
I gave the brunette a snarling glance, but I didn't argue with him. It was quite easily miscible to an intern. However, I wished the patient had been treated by proper doctors and not some kid who just got out of school. I closed the chart over and hung my head. I hated it when we lost someone. I always spiraled into some sort of depression. Newbie clamped a hand on my shoulder and smiled, trying his best to cheer me up.
"Come on! Where's that Coxian spirit? And that's the adjective version, not the collab," he chuckled.
I glanced to his hand and raised my eyebrows. He removed his hand and looked away, feeling slightly embarrassed by the looks of it. I snarled and chuckled the chart to Pee Pants, who just happened to be passing, body bag in hand. I strode down the hallway, Newbie following me like normal. I came to an abrupt halt, his fragile little body bashing into mine, and whipped myself around.
"Just leave me alone right now!" I hissed, "Okay?"
Newbie nodded quickly, but soon as I walked off again, he followed me. He was still at a distance, but still walking the same way.
"Though I told you to get lost!" I growled, striding half like a mad man.
"My next patient is down here," he whined.
I shook my head and signaled for him to follow me again. Truth be told, I did like it when he came to me, but I was just a little mad at the loss of that patient. They'd been around for quite a while and I had grown a little attached to them.
And so the next few days carried on as normal, but the death of this one patient seemed to affect everyone. Three days later, I woke up to the sound of humming. I realized I slept in Kelso's office for the night. I rubbed my eyes and turned to the humming sound. Newbie was sat on Bob's desk, eyes closed and humming to himself. He flinched suddenly and glanced over to the couch where I had been sleeping. The humming stopped and he looked a little embarrassed having been caught doing something a little feminine. However, I was going to let this one go.
"Dr. Cox, there you are," Carla burst through the door, charts in hand, "Look, Jordan called and she wants to know if you're gonna turn up this afternoon."
I racked my brain for the thing in the afternoon that I was apparently supposed to attend. Newbie wandered over to my side and bent down, his lips almost touching me ear.
"The party Turk and I are throwing," he whispered.
I glanced to the younger doctor in bewilderment. I couldn't remember being invited to that, but perhaps I had blocked it out.
"He's gonna be there!" Newbie announced.
Carla sighed remorsefully and wandered off again, leaving the twerp and me together.
"What's eating her?" I asked, rubbing my hands over my face.
"Hormones," the idiot shrugged.
Fair enough, she was having baby. I stood up from spot on the couch and paced out the room, turning down the corridor. Newbie followed after me, bouncing along like an innocent child. For a grown man, however, it was just plain creepy.
Arriving down in reception, I was surprised to see Newbie's brother, Dan. Newbie groaned, obviously not too thrilled to see his brother standing at the desk. Thankfully, he hadn't noticed us.
"Could we go?" Newbie asked, whispering into my ear.
I had to agree, because I didn't feel like talking to the older brother either. I was still recovering from that speech from a few years ago. I gave him a curt nod and we slowly back away and then quick walked down the hall towards the cafeteria.
The hall was quite empty, unlike what I had expected first thing in the morning. Newbie and I got a quiet table in the corner to ourselves. We sat opposite each other and ordered a cup of coffee each. The cafeteria man gave me quite an odd look, but I shook it off. This whole week had been strange. I watched Newbile One for a few minutes. The man child was busy sipping at his coffee and dozing that he didn't even notice me gazing at him. Something seemed different about him. He changed a little since that patient's death and I still couldn't shake it off. In fact, the entire hospital had changed. It was like Mrs. Wilk all over again. Thankfully, Hedrick hadn't come on by to be a total nuisance.
"What are you staring at?" Newbie suddenly asked, realizing that I had been watching him.
"Uh... Nothing," I stammered and took a sip of my coffee, trying to hide the fact that I was annoyed for being caught staring.
"You're upset, aren't you?"
I raised my gaze back to the man child opposite me and openly deflated with a small nod. However, before we could talk anymore, Newbie's husband, Gandhi, came on by. He took the seat beside Newbie and sighed.
"Look, um, could we talk? Carla suggested I come to you..." he spoke almost regretfully.
I scoffed at his proposal, "What makes you think I want to talk to you?"
Gumball sighed with a shrug. He fiddled with his fingers on the table, finding them of much more interest than me. The brunette beside him looked longing at his best friend. Never did they utter a word to each other, though.
"Carla suggested it. It's just that ever since... I can't deal with it and she...she said you'd be the best person to talk to. It was a long shot that you'd go for it anyway," he finally replied.
And I had to say, it hit me like a hammer to the head. The surgeon slowly got up from his place and trudged out of the cafeteria, looking like he was about to keel over. Newbie shook his head and let out a small breath of air.
"What? You two not talking?" I asked, a small hint of laughter to my voice.
"No. It's you. You won't help anyone. He's clearly suffering," he gestured out to the pair of double doors, "Now, yes I'm a little pissed that he didn't asked me, but perhaps he know more about. I just don't get how you don't help people."
"I'm here with you, aren't I?"
Newbie glanced to the window, silently admitting that he had lost the battle. I sat back in my chair and watched the ceiling. I knew I was late, that my shift had started ten minutes ago, but somehow, I just couldn't bear the thought of going back upstairs to the death and misery that awaited me. Newbie stood up and patted my shoulder, mumbling something about happiness is where you look. He disappeared through the doors without a trace and I was left on my own.
And that's how we were brought to the funeral. The party was canceled. It seemed that Gandhi just couldn't go through with it. I glanced to the bald headed turtle. His head was bowed and I was pretty sure he was crying. Suddenly, the sound rushed back to my ears and I picked up on something the vicar was saying.
"Would anyone like to say any words?" he asked.
Bob took a deep sigh and stood up. I never made any snide remarks, no sarcastic comments. It wasn't a day for that. The cupcake eating Chief of Medicine walked up to the podium and brought in some more air to his lungs. Big Bob began to speak, but I tuned him out. Newbie raised his head, tears brimming in his eyes. Had this been a normal circumstance, I would have made a comment about the waterworks, but I hadn't been this low since Ben's death, or the deaths of those three patients. Both times I recalled that Newbie was there for me. Perhaps if I silently asked him, he'd be here to help me out again. Drawing my attention back to Bobbo, my ears pricked up on the last part of his speech.
"He was a good worker. And excellent doctor and a warmed hearted person. Thank you," he concluded, walking down from the podium as the low tone of claps came his way.
He sat back down beside me without a glance. I watched him carefully – ha! That's all I seemed to do; watch people, not sarcastically talking to them at all – and waited for him to break out into a grin after he usually gave a speech. It never happened. By this time, Gandhi was up on the podium, trying to not let the fresh set of tears flow down his chubby cheeks.
"I gotta say thanks for everyone who came. It would mean so much to him. He was...as Kelso said a great guy. A little here and there, a little odd, but we all loved him. I know that much..." the speech dragged on and on, but I tuned him out.
Eventually, after a few more people, the vicar asked if there was anyone else to speak. Somehow, I felt like I had my obligation. Kelso turned his gaze to me and I matched it. Her whispered to me to go, telling me I would regret it if I didn't. So I did. I stood up and walked along the aisle, hearing footsteps behind me. I glanced over my shoulder to the sight of Newbie standing behind me. I sighed pitifully and just let him follow me up to the podium. I stood there, quiet as a mouse for a moment. Never once had big crowds of people scared me, in fact, I liked them, but this crowd scared me. I was scared that I was going to say something cold, or hateful about my co-worker.
"Well...I guess he's changed us all...even me..." I paused for a brief moment, "I'm not one to openly tell anyone how I feel about them, and the same went for here... But...but I wish I had."
I swallowed and blinked rapidly, trying to hold back the tears that wanted to be let loose. Newbie clamped his hand on my shoulder, reassuring me. It gave me the confidence – not I lacked any – I needed to say want I had really wanted to say.
"I'm sorry that I treated him the way I did. I know I should have been more grateful to him, after all, he did save me from myself more times than I care to mention. Guess we balanced each other out and made a good team," I chuckled to myself for a moment, "He'd be grinning with such happiness with all this love getting' thrown at him. Never would I give him so many compliments. So...thank you, J.D, you've been such a great help to me over the years."
It was then that I realized properly who had died. I glanced to the hand on my shoulder. Newbie, he was still there. With his head bowed, he didn't think to make eye contact and I knew why. I clenched my fist at my side and began to walk down back to my seat. Newbie's hand never left my shoulder. It was like I was dragging him along with me.
"Perry..." Carla's soft voice stopped me in my tracks, "Thank you."
I smiled gently at the Latina nurse, "You're welcome."
I retreated back to me seat, with my protégé back in his own. For the rest of the service, I never once paid any attention to what was happening around me. I stared into space, with it all crashing down upon me that he really was gone and there was not a thing I could do about it. I thought back to the last time I saw him. The way he gave me that soft, 'I know this is our last moment together' sort of smile. A protégé saying goodbye to his mentor, a colleague saying goodbye his own colleague, a friend saying goodbye to his friend, son saying goodbye to his father. That's who we were.
In the few short weeks that followed, the hallucination still followed me, talked to me and comforted me. And it was when I finally took up Gandhi's request to talk that Newbie stopped in the doorway and told me to go one. I did as bidden and sat on the edge of the bed across from Turtlehead and began to engage him in conversation. The black doctor began to reminisce about Newbie, telling me all the good times he shared with Newbie. I chuckled at a few, starting to feel some kind of emotion towards it all. I glanced to the door during one the stories and suddenly noticed how Newbie wasn't there anymore. How I'd cope, I wouldn't know, but I'd just have to take it one day at a time. After all, I wasn't the only person who lost him. However, they'd never feel the bond I had with him. The bond which I felt like I became a father, again. Because that's who we were, who we will always be...
MB: Glad to get this little oneshot off my chest. Yes, hello everyone, I'm back! So, after a long story of my laptop breaking and a whole lot of shops later, I've fixed my old laptop and have began writing again. For those of you who are reading Our Long Journey, don't worry, because I'm currently working on the fourth chapter. I have a couple of oneshots started too, though, so keep a look out for them :) Thank you for reading.