This is a one shot that has nothing to do with any of my other stories. I don't own Harry Potter, any of the characters, or storylines. Please read and review.
Hermione shook her head and gritted her teeth when she heard the faint popping sound from the front lawn. A moment later, Ron strode through the door, straightening his robes.
"Hi." He said when he caught sight of her.
"Hi." Hermione replied coldly, trying unsuccessfully to keep the anger out of her voice. She turned around and busied herself with the dishes so that she would not have to face him.
"I can get those for you." Ron said softly, coming up behind her. He tried to hug her when he got close, but she ducked out of his grasp. "Hermione? What's wrong?" He asked her, his tone laced with concern and anxiety.
"Nothing." She answered, but then rounded on him. "No, that's not true. Give me a minute." She took a deep breath and struggled to control her emotions. Ron merely watched, his blue eyes wide.
"Please tell me...what has upset you?"
Hermione lowered her eyes for a second, and then looked at him full in the face. "Why were you coming out of Rosemerta's pub?" Ron opened his mouth to respond, and then changed his mind. Hermione waited, feeling the tension between them increasing. Finally, Ron inhaled loudly and averted his gaze.
"Well, you know how my team has to go away on that trip tomorrow night?" Hermione nodded, she had known about Ron's upcoming business trip for weeks. Part of his Ministry of Magic duties included occasional trips to various wizarding communities to help them rebuild after the war. "I was just picking up a bottle of firewhiskey to share with everyone. You know, after work." He still wasn't looking at her. "How did you know I was there?"
Hermione threw up her hands. "I saw you! I was on my way home from shopping in Hogsmeade, and I saw you coming out of there." Ron hung his head.
"I'm sorry, I don't want to upset you."
"Well, you have, Ron!" Hermione tried to keep her voice down, even though she wanted to scream. "What are you doing, you know that you're not supposed to drink, not even one!"
"I know, I know..." Ron started to say, but Hermione kept going.
"You have a disease! There's no shame in that, but there is shame in pretending that this addiction doesn't have control of you! Why would you do this to yourself, to us?" Ron looked at her this time, and there were tears in his eyes.
"You're right, of course. I'm sorry, I'll get rid of it."
"And what are you thinking, you're supposed to be working, not partying it up with your coworkers!" Now that Hermione had opened the floodgates, there was no stopping her barrage.
"It's after work!" Ron interjected. "We do work hard when we're out on these jobs, harder than we do normally!"
"Please let me finish." Hermione said, closing her eyes. "I love you Ron, I love this life we have created, but this addiction scares the hell out of me. I don't want it to take you away from me again." Ron crossed the room and put his arms around her. She stiffened, but then allowed herself to collapse into his embrace.
"It won't." He promised her. "I said that you're right. I don't have to have it, I'll get rid of it right now."
"But you're only doing that because I saw you!" Hermione looked up at him, tears streaking down her cheeks. "That's what concerns me, you won't be getting rid of it for you, you're doing it for me! You won't ever get better if you don't start doing what is best for yourself because you know what is best for you, inside! How can you put yourself in a situation where firewhiskey is involved? If I had left Hogsmeade five minutes earlier or later, I never would have seen you and you would have drank tomorrow night!" He looked away again, causing Hermione to back away and narrow her eyes. "This isn't the first time, is it." She said softly, more of a statement than a question. Ron's reluctance to answer immediately was all the confirmation that she needed.
"I was going to tell you." He said in a pleading voice. She laughed humorlessly.
"When, Ron? You're only saying that because I saw you, and I know." He shook his head vigorously.
"That's not true. I was waiting for the right time, but it would have been soon."
"Well, now I know, so tell me everything."
Ron took a deep breath, trying to keep the sobs from bursting out of him. "Its getting out of my control again. I can feel it. You're right, I shouldn't have put myself in those situations. If the other guys want to drink, I could have had butterbeer. Or just stayed in my hotel room. Anything."
"But you want to drink." Hermione filled in the blanks for him. "You need to drink." Ron looked at the floor, ashamed. "You were doing so well, Ron! I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound so judgmental, I've tried so hard to understand this addiction. I'm just so frustrated and scared! I can't fight this, it's stronger than your love for me, its coming between us again!" She buried her face in her hands and sobbed. A moment later, she felt Ron's arms around her and his chest shaking as he, too, wept.
"I'll do whatever I have to do, Hermione. I won't lose you. The last thing I want to do is hurt you." She raised her tear stained face.
"I can't tell you what to do about this, Ron. It has to come from within you. But I will tell you that every time you do stop drinking, you never deal with the root problem, the reason why you needed to drink in the first place!" Ron nodded.
"I know. I'm trying, Hermione, but its not easy for me. I'm so much more productive at work when I've had a few drinks, I can talk to other people easily, I don't get all mixed up and tongue tied like I usually do." Hermione sighed. She hated to admit it, but she understood what he meant. She even liked Ron better after he had been drinking. He became more confident, friendlier, the life of the party. It was as if his real personality could finally come out, but it needed the firewhiskey to release it.
"Would you consider seeing the Healers again? Joining their group? Maybe you need the support right now. There's no shame in it, Ron. The only shame is not admitting you have a problem and getting the help you need for yourself."
"I will think about it." Ron answered after a minute. "Really, I will. You're right, I need to talk to someone. Find ways to be comfortable with myself without drinking."
"What are you going to do about tomorrow?" Hermione asked anxiously. She wished that he wasn't going away from her like this. He had just admitted that he needed help, she couldn't stand the thought of him going on his trip and being in a situation where he would be expected to drink.
"I'll be fine." Ron tried to smile at her through his own tears. "Please don't worry, I won't be able to focus on my work if I know you're worried. I told you I was going to get rid of it, I'll do it right now."
"What will the other guys say?" Hermione asked, spotting a new problem. "They're expecting the firewhiskey, right? And they're expecting you to drink it with them!"
Ron shrugged, this seemed to be the least of his concerns. "I can handle them. I'll just say that I'm feeling sick or something." Hermione's eyes flashed angrily.
"Why can't you tell them the truth? Stop being so secretive about this, you have nothing to be ashamed of! Why can't you tell them that you simply can't drink?"
Ron scoffed. "Yeah, sure. I'll tell the guys I "can't drink." Its none of their business, Hermione. If I want to stay in my hotel room, I will. Nobody makes me do anything I don't want to do."
Hermione sniffed and nodded slowly. "I want to trust that you can take care of this, Ron. For yourself. Because you want to get better."
"I do want to get better! Things happen for a reason, Hermione! That's why you were there to see me come out of that pub, it was supposed to happen that way so that I could finally wake up and see what I was doing, what I was in danger of becoming."
Hermione wrapped her arms around Ron again and buried her face in his chest, inhaling his familiar scent. "I can't lose you, Ron. Not like this, not to this."
"You won't. Ever." He put his hand under her chin and raised her face gently. "Please smile, I need to see you look happy." She tried, and smiled weakly. "That's better." He whispered. "I love you, we're going to get through this. Everything will be okay."
Thank you for reading...like I said, this story has nothing to do with my other stories, it was just a way for me to vent about something very frustrating and upsetting that is happening in my own life...writing has always been my "therapy" and has served me well in other times of need.