Last week on Glee (Read in Mr. Schue's voice, just like during the episodes of Glee :D):
Nationals is right around the corner, which usually means a lot of stress, but for some reason, the stress is heightened this year….The Warblers are back, with Sebastian leading and some new guy, who Blaine apparently knows from his pre-Dalton days….Because he was seen talking to his Dalton buddies, Blaine got into another fight with Sam about being the male leader of the New Directions, especially since Artie is still in the hospital….Kurt nailed an audition for a Broadway show, but was told he needed to lose weight because he was 'too chubby for the role,' which really upset him, because Kurt is one of the skinniest actors at his acting school….Finn found out he is shipping to Iraq, and his ship date is the day before the New Directions performs at Nationals. He was planning on attending, but he can't anymore…Rachel broke a leg—literally—while in the shower and had to be rushed to the hospital….Tina went to visit Mike in Chicago and thought he was cheating on her when really he was figuring out a sweet way to propose...Oh, and there's some new Glee club that nobody knows about called the Sunchildren who are actually really good.
And that's what you missed on GLEE!
Mr. Schuester calmly walked into the choir room. He did not have to turn to see his two fill-in leads fighting over who was the better singer. It was much like the time last year when they fought about what dance moves would get them more points at competition. Oh, last year. How he wished he could jump in a TARDIS like in that show the guys kept talking about or use a Time Turner from that movie series Blaine would not shut up about and go back to last year. Everything was simple, everything was better. Yes, they fought, but this year, the seniors had been fighting like no other. It's not been any one person's fault. Everyone has been at it with each other. How he wished his oldest male member of the group would come back from the hospital.
He sighed and wrote a single word on the board. Turning around, he said, "War."
That got the club's attention. Sam regained his seat next to Tina, with Blaine on her other side.
"Now, I know this year has been tough. We've lost a few key players due to graduation, and our work has not been up to par this year."
"I'll say," Blaine quietly interjected.
"What's that, Blaine?" asked Mr. Schuester. He knew what Blaine said, but he wanted him to say it louder for effect.
"I said," Blaine began. "That the New Directions sucks ever since we lost the seniors. We've been awful this entire year. The only reason we won at Regionals is that Brittany danced like a goddess and Artie shook it up with his rapping. We're nothing without Artie, and we've been nothing without the seniors."
"Now, that's no way to think, Mr. Broccolihead," Brittany said, trying to calm him down. She giggled, remembering the time he washed all his hair gel out at prom. "We're just amazing this year. And you still have one senior." She winked at him from her seat above.
"Well, thank you Brittany for those kind words." Mr. Schuester brought the group back to the board. "Now, for Nationals, each group is given a word. This word is supposed to be the 'theme' for our setlist." He wagged a finger at the group. "Now, I bet you will have no trouble in finding a set of War songs during the time you're having with each other."
That made a few of the members giggle, mainly Sugar and Brittany.
"Mr. Schue?" Sam stood up. "I have a song I'd like to sing, if you don't mind."
"Sure, Sam," the teacher replied. "Go right ahead."
"Um, Sam?" Blaine glared up at the blonde-haired boy as he said, "Are you about to sing that song I wrote about Superman and Batman?"
"You bet I am." Sam walked to the front of the room, confident.
"That is low, Sam," Joe threw in. "Even for you."
"I don't really care right now, Joe. This song is perfect for War and it describes exactly how I feel right now."
Mr. Schuester knew what was about to go down. He knew it as soon as he wrote the word on the board. Now, he swore he saw red in Blaine's eyes. The short boy stormed to the front of the room and joined Sam. They were about to have a song battle. Dear God, what had he done? Wait, he thought. Maybe this'll be good for them. Give them a chance to work things out. The first lines of the song told him that this wasn't going to happen.
Sam walked straight up to Blaine. Their noses were practically touching as he sang, "I am a man of justice, I am a man of might."
Blaine kept the closeness as he shot back, "I am a man of vengeance, I am a man of the night."
He jumped back, practically growling at the other boy. "You're such a sycophantic suck-up. How can you call yourself a man?" He pointed at the blonde. "You say you fight for truth and justice? I say you're working for the man, man."
Sam was enraged at this moment. He stood on the piano and mimicked someone flying. "You line your mask with lead, but I can see into your soul." He scrunched his arms in as he sang, "I see a scared little boy, behind the cape and the cowl." He jumped down from the piano, landing a few feet from Blaine.
The two danced in perfect synchronization as they sang, "Fuck you, I'm gonna kick your ass. Fuck you, I'm taking you down. Fuck you."
Blaine threw his fist up like he was about to hit Sam, but the latter grabbed it and held it inches from his face. "You wanna be the man, you've got to beat the man." He threw Blaine off to the side. "I'm gonna show you what it means to be a man, man."
During the last two words, Sam thrust his hips, causing the Glee club girls to laugh uncontrollably. They thought it was funny. Mr. Schuester just thought it was disturbing, but if they had to sing it out, it would be better than a real fight. They didn't need any more rock salt slushes or dumpster fights.
Blaine recovered and continued the song. "I've learned a lot about life, since I got myself a bro."
Sam grabbed a pencil and pretended to smoke it, acting nonchalant. "You mean your tiny little sidekick? You guys are so adorable."
Blaine stole the pencil, pretending to smoke it himself. He blew at Sam as he sang, "You're only jealous, man." He took the 'cigarette' out of his mouth and threw it on the ground. "It's so obvious, so clear."
Sam watched the pencil roll as he sang, "Come on, me with a sidekick?"
Blaine took this as his moment to get him. "I've got one for you right here." He stuck his foot out to the side and kicked Sam.
The two became in sync again as they sang the chorus. "Fuck you, I'm gonna kick your ass. Fuck you, I'm taking you down. Fuck you."
They crossed over each other as Sam sang the end of the chorus. "You wanna be the man, you've got to beat the man. I'm gonna show you what it means to be a man, man."
The two males chased each other around the room, intent on catching each other and fighting hand to hand. It wasn't stage fighting, which freaked the teacher out. Finally, Sam pinned Blaine to the ground with his foot.
He sang, "All of your toys amuse me, the boat, the Batmobile, the bike, the plane." He stepped off the shorter boy and grabbed the prop knife from the back of his pocket. "But you can't grappling hook me, can't hit me with your boomerang, naw!"
Blaine slowly got up, feigning hurt. "You look cool in your tights."
Sam glanced into space, singing, "Thanks."
Blaine finished his sentence. "For an alien dick."
Sam was not expecting this. "What?"
Blaine grabbed something green and fuzzy from his pocket. "How about some kryptonite tonight." He walked toward Sam, making him back up slowly. "I'm onto your shtick."
Sam walked toward Blaine as he sang, "Fuck you."
Blaine stage-punched Sam as they began the chorus. "Fuck you, I'm gonna kick your ass." They began stage-fighting again. "Fuck you, I'm taking you down. Fuck you."
Blaine grabbed Sam by the arm. It would appear he was winning this little 'fight.' He knew it, also, as he ended the song. "You wanna be the man, you've got to beat the man. I'm gonna show you what it means to be a man, man." He put Sam on the ground, in a back choke position.
Mr. Schuester ran to his singers. "Stop, stop!" He cut the band off and turned to the boys. "Blaine, let go of Sam. Both of you, stand up please."
They did, begrudgingly.
"Now, boys, I am appalled to see you two like this. First, I do not support any kind of violence, stage or not. And second, we will not, under ANY circumstances, sing that song. Now, go sit down. Please."
They did, heads low.
Mr. Schuester addressed the entire group. "Now kids, earlier we were talking about how we hadn't been doing as well without the seniors. Well, this year we have new seniors. What would the seniors last year think if they saw what we just did?"
Two hours away, in Westerville, Sebastian walked in to find the Warblers not angry, but upset at the early hour.
"Good morning, Warblers," he greeted them.
"Good morning, Sebastian," a grumbling reply came from half of the group.
"Why are we here this early, dude?" a tall, pale senior member with black hair asked. He yawned, running his hand through his hair.
A few members echoed this boy's discontent.
Sebastian held his hand up. This was his thing. Just like Wes had his gavel, Sebastian had his hand. He would've had a gavel, if Wes hadn't taken all the gavels from the storeroom for his own being. Sebastian chuckled as he remembered opening the supply closet door and finding all the gavels gone. Yes. All. And there were a lot of gavels in that storage room.
When the Warblers silenced, Sebastian answered them. "The reason I've called you here so early was to discuss our Nationals set list. Each group is given a word. Our word is Brother. Any suggestions for songs?"
Practically every single Warbler replied in tandem: "Brotherhood of Man."
Sebastian smiled. "Of course. That would be my top pick also. We just saw that musical, didn't we. The version with Daniel Radcliffe. It was amazing." He zoned out, remembering the glorious play. "Any other ideas?"
One of the new members stood up. He was tall, with long blonde hair. He seemed shy, but determined. "I-i-I have a song. Can I sing it?"
"Sure, Warbler..." Sebastian was lost. He didn't know what this boy's name was. And it shocked him, since he usually knew everyone.
"Wright," the boy answered. "James Wright."
Sebastian sighed. "I've been expecting you. The senator's nephew, correct?"
"Yes, that's my uncle."
"Well, by all means, come sing." Sebastian invited him to the front.
James made his way to the front, grabbing another member to accompany him. The other boy had a messy set of dark curls on his head.
Sebastian didn't know this other boy's name, either. What happened to all the Warblers that I knew? Oh, right. They all moved away or graduated. But this boy does look familiar. I wonder how, though... "When you're ready, Warbler Wright and Warbler...um..."
"Anderson," the boy finished for him. "Shane Anderson."
This brought a look of shock from the Warblers. Sebastian asked the question that was on the tip of all their tongues. "You're Blaine's brother, right?"
"Yes, I am." Shane was confident, much different from his friend, who was positively terrified. "I like Dalton better than McKinley. Too many jocks. Dalton is just my cup of tea." He smiled at the phrase, then looked at James. "Ready, friend?"
James breathed heavily, preparing himself. "Yes, I'm ready."
(James)
Let's face the facts about me and you,
A love unspecified.
Though I'm proud to call you Chocolate Bear
The crowd will always stop and stare
(Shane)
I feel exactly those feelings, too
And that's why I keep them inside.
'Cause this bear can't bear the world's disdain,
And sometimes it's easier to hide,
Than explain our
(James and Shane)
Guy love,
That's all it is.
Guy love,
He's mine, I'm his.
There's nothing gay about it in our eyes.
(Shane)
You ask me 'bout this thing we share
(James)
And he tenderly replies
(Shane)
It's guy love
(James and Shane)
Between two guys
(Shane)
We're closer than the average man and wife
(James)
That's why our matching bracelets say Turk and J.D.
(Shane)
You know I'll stick by you for the rest of my life
(James)
You're the only man who's ever been inside of me!
(Shane)
Whoa, I just took out his appendix
(James)
There's no need to clarify
(Shane)
Oh, no?
(James)
Just let it grow more and more each day.
It's like I married my best friend,
(Shane)
But in a totally manly way
(James and Shane)
Let's go!
It's guy love,
Don't compromise,
The feeling of some other guy,
Holding up your heart into the sky
(James)
I'll be there to care through all the lows
(Shane)
I'll be there to share the highs
(James and Shane)
It's guy love
Between two guys
(James)
And when I say, "I love you, Turk,"
It's not what it implies.
(James and Shane)
It's guy love
Between
Two
Guys
The singers walked back to their seats, smiling and taking in the applause. James was surprised he'd made it through an entire song. He hadn't done that in front of people yet. Shane was happy he could make his best friend's first Warbler suggestion performance go off without a hitch. They looked up at Sebastian to see what he would say.
"Very...nice." Sebastian smiled. "Isn't that from Scrubs?"
"Yes," James answered. "It's my favorite show. And the Guy Love song is our theme song." He gestured to Shane.
"I like it," Sebastian commented. "But I don't think it would make a good song for Nationals. What do you think?"
He was met with mixed opinions.
"I love that song!"
"That's not a good song for Nationals."
"They're not gonna take us seriously."
"It's a perfect Brother song!"
"This song will not work!"
"Why did Scrubs go off the air?" The opinions were now getting a little...off-track.
"I want a cookie. Where's Kurt when you need him?"
This outburst was from the pale dark-haired boy, who was sitting right by Sebastian. The leader glared at the boy, saying, "Really, Dwight? We're trying to figure out a setlist and you want a freaking cookie?"
"Yes, I do." Dwight Houston was not one to be reckoned with. He'd been through too much, and Sebastian was getting on his last nerve. He was supposed to be captain this year, not him. Oh, I wish Wes would come back and hit him with his gavel, Dwight thought before continuing. "They're good thinking cookies."
"He's right, you know," Shane piped up. "I've had some of Kurt's cookies. They're amazing."
Sebastian held his hand up. He was frustrated. "Alright. Since none of us can stay on topic, how about we adjourn this meeting and go look for songs on our own. Deal?"
The Warblers nodded, unsure of what Sebastian would do if he became too mean.
"Good. Now go. We have to find the best set list if we're going to beat the New Directions at Nationals." He dismissed them, then muttered, "Why did we have to move Regions this year? I wanted to beat those sorry losers out before Nationals."
Hours away, in the town of Ann Arbor, Michigan, yet another Glee club was preparing their Nationals set list. They had never made it to Nationals. They had never even made it past Sectionals. Their word was "Inspiration." It was a lot easier to come up with inspirational songs than songs that had to do with War or Brother. They were working on dance moves, and not having the best luck.
"STOP, STOP!" Meredith exclaimed. "Joe, it's step-ball-change, step, clap-clap, not step-clap-clap, ball-change. Get it right!"
"Sorry, I've just got a lot on my mind." He ran through the steps on his own, determined to get them right. "GAH! I hate this!"
"Stop being so frustrated, Joe," his teammate Joey said, encouraging. "Here, I'll help you."
"I just...I can't dance as well as I did before the accident." Joe hung his head, a telltale sign of disappointment.
"Well, we're just gonna have to fix that, won't we!" Lauren exclaimed. "The Sunchildren will win this year, I just know it!"
"Yes we will!" Jaime agreed. "And I know just the song that'll get you dancing again!"
"Do you mean-" Dylan started, pointing at her.
"Yes I do!" Jaime practically yelled. "You start it."
"Okay!" Dylan grabbed Joe and pulled him to a chair in the middle of the dance floor. He began tapping his feet, making a rhythm. He abruptly stopped and began to sing, exaggerating every move.
When I was a boy
An orphan boy
I loved to move my feet
I'd hear a tune
And start to swoon
My life would seem
Complete
Dylan's facial expressions during this next part made Joe laugh so hard he nearly had to go change his pants.
The other boys would start to jeer
But I'd catch them tapping their toes
And when I'd start to sway
They'd get carried away
And, oh, how the feeling grew
Dylan began slowly tap-dancing, on beat with every word. It was the funniest thing any of the Sunchildren had ever seen.
I'd take my foot
My little foot
And with that foot
Oh, how I'd start to shake
His steps became more maniacal, but still kept an amazing beat.
I'd take my feet
Two tiny feet
Hey look, that's neat!
Dylan danced like a little kid just learning to tap-dance, causing the Sunchildren to continue laughing.
It's coming true!
Oh, boy, I get to dance again
Wohoo!
He kept tap-dancing as he sang.
To dance again
I've been waiting all these years
To dance again
Dylan pointed at Joe and sang right to him.
Now, at once, a chance appears
To hear a beat
So on your feet
It's time to dance again
Come on, Joe! Up! Get Up!
He ran to Joe and pulled him to his feet, making him dance alongside.
You take your foot
Your little foot
Hey, look! Your foot!
See how it starts to shake
Dylan stood behind Joe, making him act like a puppet. Brian stood over to the side, laughing and calling out actions.
Ooh, try his arms!
How bout a twirl!
He's like a girl!
Joe spun out and steadied himself, then took part of the song himself.
How overdue,
I finally get to dance again with you!
The two danced together as they sang.
To dance again,
I've been waiting all these years to dance again
Now at once the chance appears
It's lovely swaying
And the music's playing
So come on! Let's dance again!
It's time to dance
It's time to dance
It's time to dance again!
They ended the song with a flourishing move. It was a splendid performance, making the Sunchildren smile and clap for their friends.
"That was amazing!" Julia exclaimed. "I can't believe you did that after your accident!"
"Me neither!" Joe replied. "It was all because of Dylan." He beamed at his friend.
"Hey, Joe?" Lauren started. "We never heard of how you got in that accident. You were in the hospital for too long to get any answers."
"Well, I was visiting my cousins in Ohio." He began the story.
The New Directions were sitting quiet after their Come-to-Jesus meeting with Mr. Schuester. (Sorry if that offends anybody. It's just what we call it at school when a coach is unsatisfied with his/her group's performance and wants them to change.) Someone just walking by would think they were in the middle of a wake or something. They were unprepared for what happened a few minutes before Glee club let out.
It was not usual to see this happen. People don't just get legs out of the blue. But this boy was not usual. As soon as he stepped a clumsy foot in the choir room (and this time he was actually on foot), he was grabbed into a hug by...well...all the members.
"ARTIE!"
"I can't believe it!"
"My Christmas wish did work! A little late, but still!"
"I can't believe you're walking!"
Mr. Schuester was glad for the return of his oldest member and the happiness he brought by returning. He was, however, still upset at his club. "Settle down, guys," he said, still stern.
Artie was confused. "Um, Mr. Schue, what's going on?" He staggered toward his seat. He didn't have all his strength back in his legs, but he could still walk, sort of.
"Why don't you ask them." The teacher pointed at his students, who were apparently attempting to keep Artie from having to deal with the impending war between Sam and Blaine.
Tina, as the main female lead, answered for the group. "Sam and Blaine got in a fight again. They sung-fought and stage-fought. It was disturbing."
Artie glanced over at the Asian. "Like, your Glee audition of 'I Kissed a Girl' disturbing or your vampiress display for Figgins a few years back disturbing?"
Tina laughed, remembering both fondly. "Neither. It was its own kind of disturbing. Seriously. This will be put on display at the National History Museum for disturbing."
Artie nodded. "Ah. That's understandable."
"Now, Artie," Blaine began. "What happened during that accident? You never told us.
"Well," he started. "I was driving through Lima on my way to Cincinnati for a check-up."
"How can a crippled person drive?" Brittany asked in her quiet Brittany way.
"Shush. I want to hear this," Tina shushed her.
"It was a clear night...no fog and it wasn't icy or anything..." Joe continued.
"It was a dark night, the moon was our only light..."
"I was getting tired. I rounded a corner much too fast..."
"I was rounding a corner when suddenly..."
"So I had to straighten my wheel out, but apparently I didn't do it fast enough because..."
"A car that was supposed to be in the other lane was coming straight at me..."
"I didn't get back over into my lane fast enough and..."
"I saw my life flash before my eyes, guys. That's not just something they say in movies. It actually happens. I couldn't get out of the way in time and suddenly..."
"I lost control of the car and..."
"It hit me. That freakin' car hit me!"
"I smashed my car into the other car. It's a miracle we're both alive!"
"But, Artie," Brittany began. "Your car crash gave you legs!"
Artie laughed. "No, hon, it didn't. The doctors amputated my legs because this accident left them in worse shape than my first. They gave me artificial legs."
"Artie has artificial legs." Brittany giggled.
"But, Joe, how do you know he's still alive? You could have killed him!" Dylan exclaimed.
"Because he's in the New Directions, a Glee club from Lima, Ohio, who we will be competing against in Nationals in a few days."