Characters: Jacen Solo, OC'S.

Keywords:AU.

Summary: Jacen Solo loses the one he refuses to love. Knowing that she loves him. Can he realise he loves her too and get her back?

Notes: I only own the characters of Nadzieja Iczkiewicz and Kathryn Parsons. And any other OC's that may appear. The rest belongs to George Lucas and the Authors.

Notes 2: This fic can be a oneshot or can be finished as a dhort story. Please tell me if you wish me to continue because i won't if no ones interested as im not completely satisfied with it.

This was written just so that i can begin finishing my other fics after a bad case of DWB. An evil plot bunny jumped in my dreams and i couldn't resist.

They were right; they were all right. If Jacen Solo didn't want her love, to kriff with him. Let him wallow in his guilt for the rest of his life. Heck, let him paint the word Martyr on his head and get it over with. She had a job to do, and she was going to do it. She had a year to get through and then she would finally go home.

It sounded so easy in her head. It was so very, very hard to do in real life.

She had made it through two whole days. There was only half an hour before she could go home, before she could stop worrying about ignoring the comments made by the staff. Could stop worrying that that she would run into Jacen somewhere and humiliate herself again. She was standing by the turbolift and helping a parent up to the paediatrics unit when she got stopped.

"Oh, gods no," came her heartfelt yet resigned reply.

It was the same nurse who had stopped her in the medwards messhall. Kathryn Parsons. Blocking the turbolifts doors, arms crossed around her lithe figure.

" Oh, yes," she came her reply, her tone firm and for whatever reason brooked no chance for an argument.

Yet, Nadzieja still shook her head, tried to push her aside.

"No," Nadia insisted. "Not again, Find somebody else, girlfriend. I am not welcome near that family."

The nurse simply looked at her and said, "his little girl is staying here."

This brought Nadia up short, shocked her enough so that she stopped trying to get past her colleague.

Nadia, after weeks of pain, finally held some hope within. Then she saw the look in Kathryn's eyes and knew that somehow this was not good news. Nadia was not used to seeing Kathryn Parsons scared. It scared her now.

Instead of allowing her fears to show in either her tone or expression Nadia assured her, "letting her stay is a good thing. "

"That's not the problem," Came the instant reply.

Nadzieja sighed, "How did I know you were going to say that." She tried unsuccessfully to quell the pain building in her chest. "All right," She said, " Then what is it?"

"It's Jacen Solo…" Kathryn managed. Wringing her hands nervously. As if trying to squeeze out the reality of an indescribable problem. " He had an appointment to talk to the medwards social worker and didn't come back. I'm really worried about him."

"Have you tried to find him?" Nadia asked

"I know where he is." The nurse replied.

"I was afraid you were going to tell me that too. What do you want from me?"

If anything Kathryn looked even more anxious and unsure of herself now. She couldn't seem to keep still, the movement only served to heighten Nadia's uneasiness.

"Somebody needs to talk to him." She insisted. I think something happened to him when he talked to those people. Something…"

"Something what? "Nadia knew her voice was harsh and unmoving. She didn't really care.

Her colleague, the nurse faced her. " I don't know. It's like he's reached the end of his sanity. He's… he's" Kathryn paused then tried again, " He's falling apart.

Jacen Solo who prided himself for being able to keep a Jedi's calmness about himself at all times an almost unmoveable calm. Falling apart?

Yet, she knew that if Kathryn was telling her this then it was the truth.

"Where is he," She asked, she knowing she had no choice. She was not proud of herself for she knew she was once again going to have to give all she had to him and expect nothing in return. Knew that she was right when she first thought that she would not get through the day.

"The last I heard, he was tearing apart a room on the 7th floor."

Kathryn knew what sort of reaction the younger woman would have to this comment.

Nadzieja jaw dropped in sheer disbelief. "Tearing apart?" She asked still not believing it.

"You heard me." Came the firm reply without a trace of amusement.

She didn't stop to think never once thought to say goodbye to Kathryn. She simply took off at a dead run. Opting to take the stairs to the 7th floor rather then the turbolift.

By the time she reached the 7th floor she didn't have to ask where he was. There was a small group of doctors, nurses and techs and residents gathered around a door. They each glanced somewhat anxiously at the door. Looking torn as if they wanted to do something but where afraid too. A moment later and she understood having heard the crash of something breaking against the door.

Trying to lighten the mood she quipped, "I thought they kept the breakables there so they wouldn't tempt the residents."

They all turned to her then. No matter how angry they had been, maybe still were about how Jacen had treated her, they didn't want this. Heck, nobody would want this.

"Come on kiddies, I'll herd him into the Bantha's den. You go and reassure the kids on the ward that it was nothing but a holovid left on too loud." She ordered softly.

They didn't move quickly, but they did move. When she was satisfied they had all moved away far enough. She tried to open the door.

To her astonishment it actually opened.