The Princess and the Dog
By: Leneypoo
Disclaimer: Dragonball and Dragonball Z do not belong to me. I am not making any money from writing this.
The All-Seeing Crone, more commonly known as simply "Baba", was fond of fairy tales.
In fact, she personally played a role in quite a few of them before she took an indefinite hiatus. After all, one could only retread through so many "Cinderella" stories before playing the fashion-forward Fairy Godmother became as old as she was (and she was Old, with a capital 'O').
When she became tired of it all, Baba retreated to whereabouts unknown and fantastic, where she was content to view the past, present and future, dish with the divine, annoy her bum of a kid brother every so often, and once in a while sucker some poor fool into paying her ten billion dollar consulting fee (even the omniscient needed to pay bills).
Occasionally an interesting opportunity for making magic, mischief, and a dash of mayhem would present itself and she would bring herself out of retirement to wave her hands and say incantations. The All-Seeing Crone felt a little magic was just the kick to keep one going for a few decades. And there was one spell Baba particularly enjoyed to cast.
Transformation.
Magic-wise, transformation was quick and simple. In addition, it was funny watching the blowhards flounder about in their new unsightly forms and by the time they managed to transform themselves back into their original forms, they were better people from the experience.
The Frog Prince? Child's play.
Beauty and the Beast? Baba considered it one of her finest works.
But there was one transformation that was her personal favorite. It had it all: princes, lavish residences, action-adventure, romance and invading alien forces. To the old crone's dismay, the story was not as prolific as mermaids pining over vapid humans, or a bookish peasant who married up, but could still chuckle about the story millennia after the fact.
Maybe you, the reader, have heard of it before. It is a story about a certain prince from you-know-where and an heiress to you-know-what. If it doesn't ring any bells, Baba's memory has managed to stay relatively intact through her long life and she remembers how it all started.
With total and utter despair.
"Allison! How could you leave so soon?" Baba wailed, flailing her arms in front of an ultra large HD Capsule TV in her palatial beach resort. "I even had Mort and Gort power dialing for you all night!"
Mort and Gort referred to her two demon menservants who were currently fanning the witch with palm leaves. The two were tall, muscular and attractive, but were only distinguishable by their color; Mort had a purple complexion that Gort—whose skin was blue—envied.
"You did?" Mort asked, without missing a beat from fanning his mistress.
Baba's eyes widened. "Of course I did!" she cried.
Then she froze as realization dawned upon her. "Oh no! You bozos! How could you forget!"
"Sorry Uranai-sama," Gort said sheepishly.
Baba sighed as she leaned back in her ultra Laz-E-Witch recliner. "It's alright. I have a feeling she'll be just fine."
"Did you look in the future Uranai-sama?" Mort asked.
Baba rolled her eyes. Maybe she should have spent a little more time finding smarter eye candy. "I like to have some suspense in my life. "
Baba jolted from her reclined position when a low alto voice cut in, "Oh, but I beg to differ!"
From its perch on a pillow next to the Capsule TV, Baba's crystal ball rose into the air, glowing with a faint, white, pulsing light. It flew and stopped right in front of the omniscient witch. The white light faded, revealing a beautiful, round purple face, framed with mousy brown hair cut in a Mohawk. Baba almost fell out of her recliner with shock. Gort looked at the face in the ball with longing.
"D-Destiny? Is that you?"
The woman known as Destiny grinned revealing teeth newly whitened and she began to preen. "Yes! I got a Limbo Facelift. It really does take the millennia off!"
Baba had to agree. The purple woman's face was perfection, except for the big black mole on the tip of her nose. But it was a sore spot and Baba knew better than to point it out. "So what happened?" Baba asked, her eyes narrowing in curiosity. "I know you don't bother to call me unless it's really good."
"You know me too well. You know of the Sayians?"
"Hn, they're supposed to come to earth pretty soon aren't they? I guess mortals will have to learn that they aren't alone in the universe."
"What a way to learn it though!" Destiny agreed, her mole twitching slightly.
Baba narrowed her eyes at the mole twitch. That mole of Destiny's was pretty talkative and she did not like what it was hinting at. "What? I already let Kami and the Z-senshi know about this, they should be able to take care of them! I saw it!"
"Unfortunately no. Check it out."
Destiny's face was obscured with white mist and an image appeared. It was a flame haired Sayian flanked by a small group of taller Sayians, scouters equipped and ready. Then after a few scenes of destruction, there was an image of the flame haired Sayian embracing a human female with blue hair. Baba frowned.
"I didn't know those two were—"
"Soulmates," Destiny finished. "Rare these days, but that only makes it more exciting when it happens."
Baba made a noise of agreement. That blue haired human looked quite familiar, but she try as she might she couldn't put a name to the face. "Hn, I can't wait to see how it all plays out."
Destiny laughed, it was a strange sound that sounded like glass breaking. "Oh Ba-chan," she said, "You don't have to."
"They've just arrived on Earth right now!"
Had anyone been near Casa de Uranai they would have heard a glass shattering shriek that sounded suspiciously familiar to "NOT DURING MAY SWEEPS!"
On the other side of the world, the second Sayian had just stepped foot on Earth. Prince Vegeta scanned his surroundings, his scouter whirring as it took measure of various life forms. The ship seemed to have landed in the middle of a grassy glen; the only life forms the scouter was picking up were negligent, most likely non-sentient animals. Vegeta's eyes narrowed in irritation. Didn't his Tactical Officer say something about sentient life forms?
Almost as if she had read his mind, Kanta's voice filtered through the scouter. "Sire, population of sentient life forms is about six billion. They seem to be mammalian, bipedal and—"
What was with scientists and their propensity for blathering on about the most insignificant details? "Average. Power. Level?" Vegeta ground out.
"Five, your highness," she replied.
A large shadow crossed over him—Nappa. "I suggest spreading out so we can be done with this planet by nightfall," the Elite commander said.
"What about the Sayian, Kakarott?" the TO asked.
Vegeta remembered the name. Kakarott, son of Bardock. Had one living relative, Radditz, who was on today's mission. "He was supposed to clear this planet of life twenty five years ago," Nappa said, "He's most likely dead. Not worth looking for."
"There's a ten percent chance he might have gone rogue, but the planet scan would have picked up a mature Sayian power level," Kanta announced.
By now the rest of the Earth purging crew had exited the ship. Besides the prince and Nappa, there were three other Sayians: Radditz, and the two sisters Kanta, and Roppu. Roppu and Radditz, Elite and First Class respectively, looked restless from the flight. Kanta, also elite was tweaking her scanner, in preparation for the coming fight. 'Well,' Vegeta thought with a smirk, 'looks like we're going to play hide and seek.'
"Okay," Vegeta's voice caused his warriors to snap to attention. "Nappa you and Radditz head north."
That solved the potential problem of Radditz being tempted to hunt for long-lost relatives. Nappa was not without his tendency to be distracted, but he hated insubordination and would keep Radditz under a tight leash. "Kanta, Roppu, you will go south."
Vegeta smirked. "I will go east."
"Alone?" Roppu asked.
Vegeta leveled the female who had asked that inane question a glare that, had it been powered with ki, would have blasted the woman to dust. He did not bother responding, but turned his head towards the east.
His eyes widened ever so slightly at the creature that seemed to have snuck up upon the entire group and their scanners.
Its form was Sayine*. Its skin seemed to be peach and loose fitting black clothing covered the majority of its body. On the top of its head was a black hat, covering limp pink hair. Its two eyes were black. It was a strange Sayian-like creature dressed in black robes and a black hat. It had limp pink hair and wide black eyes. The skin on its face was wrinkled up like a nerpu fruit. Besides its strange appearance, it seemed to be able to fly by sitting on a translucent ball.
"Hello boys."
The prince, in retrospect, should have known something was very wrong when a denizen of Earth, a planet whose sentient race had only evolved to reach their only moon, spoke in fluent Sayia-go. But at the time he was taken aback by the sudden appearance of the wrinkled figure, so sudden that none of the scouters picked it up.
In any other situation, Vegeta would have raised his hand and destroyed the strange creature on the spot but when he tried to raise his hand, it remained tethered to his side be an invisible force. "Ah ah sawaruna!" it croaked, "I'm fragile."
The Prince of Sayians could only express his confusion with a blank glare.
"Weak," it said, it's eyes rolling upwards and back, "you know you're dealing with bunch of beasts when the concept of protecting something weaker than them is unheard of."
Had Vegeta had the ability to move, his lips would have curled into a disdainful sneer. Protecting weak things? If something could not survive on its own on Planet Vegeta, it was put out of its misery, or sent elsewhere until it proved its worth. Not protected or coddled. No wonder this world had an average power level of five.
The pink haired creature floated around, setting Vegeta on edge when it moved out of sight. He was pushing himself to move, to power up, to overpower what kind of hold the creature had on him. He secretly promised himself that as soon as he freed himself he would bind his captor in turn. Then kill it.
Slowly.
"Che, you live for a few hundred years and the threats all sound the same," the floating creature in black said, "my younger brother could come up better than that, Prince Vegeta."
This…monstrosity had kin? And whatever was responsible for bring it into being didn't swear off procreation after bring it into existence?
"Well looks like I spoke too soon," The creature stopped and floated downward so that it had eye contact with the prince. "You're a quick study."
It then moved herself away from the group of Sayians, closing its eyes in thoughtfulness. "Ja, what should I do with you," she mused, "As it is, the future has already changed irrevocably by my presence. I was supposed to have let you wreak havoc on earth, kill a bunch of children, rape a few women, get to fight the natives, you know the usual."
"But, you forgot about one thing boys," the creature looked at the two female Sayians, "and girls."
Its eyes opened and narrowed from its wide smile. "It's May Sweeps!" it said. "No way will I let Armageddon via alien invasion get in the way of Super Chikyuu Idol, ke-shi-te."
"So that leaves me with a dilemma. What to do with a band of Sayians led by their prince?"
The strange creature fell silent and Vegeta pushed harder at his invisible restrains. The black clothed creature made a strange squawking noise reminiscent of an odod bird and faced Radditz. "Eat me? Take this!"
~*ZAP*~
Vegeta watched with the beginnings of foreboding as Radditz fell to the earth, once a Sayian now a…
"Serves you right you big boar," the creature sniffed.
Then turned its direction to the rest of the group. "I can't kill you all," the creature continued, "Yemma-kun would throw a fit and the paperwork would be ridiculous."
"And you," Vegeta saw its gaze return to him. "You have a hint of destiny about you. I'm not sure the wisdom of that, but what the use in questioning the gods. I'm sure the north Kai thinks this is hilarious."
It made a wide circle around the group once more and then looked as if she had decided something. "What to do with the destined prince and his faithful warriors…" it thought aloud. "Ah ha!"
The creature raised its arms, the black material sliding down and revealing pale arms and hands. "Hoi hoi hoi poi hoi!" it cried.
For a split second Vegeta could sense the rush of an unsettling power, similar to his power but wildly different at the same time. And before Vegeta could attempt to make something of the strange sensation, his world turned black.
Baba inspected her handiwork. "Omoshiroi…" she said, satisfied and intrigued.
Just then her crystal ball vibrated with a ring that almost sent her toppling off towards the ground. "Oh I have to get back before Karaoke with the Stars starts!"
Baba lowered herself so she was merely a foot off the ground and floated over to where the group of Sayians once stood. "Now I hope you'll be a good boy Prince Vegeta," she cooed, petting his head. "And your little…troop, better behave themselves as well."
And with a wave of her short stubby arms, she disappeared leaving behind an unconscious dog, surrounded by a litter of unconscious animals.
END OF CHAPTER ONE
I'll stop here even though I could have easily kept this going for probably 4 or 5 pages, but I might as well save it. This hopefully means a faster update, but you never know. I'm currently taking 18 credits this summer. It's a lot to handle. However this fic begged to be written so I couldn't resist. What kind of breed should Vegeta be? I haven't decided (in the scheme of things, it's not that important).
TPatD Terminology
*Sayine – You know how we describe things as humanoid? Well Sayine is the same word but Sayian-centric. So while Bulma would consider Sayians humanoid, Vegeta would look at humans as Sayine. I thought it was nifty. Sayine is pronounced "say-yeen"
Japanese Words
If I get to a point where this fic is bilingual stop me. I just think it adds flavor.
Sawaruna – don't touch!
Keshite –never
Omoshiroi—interesting
Baba, the Omnipotent?
I know it sounds like Baba is this awesomely powerful witch who could probably take on Frieza with her eyes closed but come on, she can raise Super Sayians from the dead, and she's immortal. Is being able to read minds and transforming people into animals too outlandish in comparison? She must be powerful in her own right. However, I tried to combat her power boost by making her rule bound. As it is, she's going to get a reprimand from Other World for meddling with the timeline. However, fortunately for this fic, Destiny can't be thwarted so easily.
Oh and this chapter was unbetaed. If anyone is interested in helping me with that, send me a message.
