From the creator of the "Starring Severus Snape" series comes the new story of everyone's favourite potions teacher- "Severus Snape: Super Spy."
SEVERUS SNAPE:
SUPER SPY.
Following the success of the Muggle "William the Wizard" phenomenon our hero, and reluctant star in the movie and mini-series, Severus Snape is once more back at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry as the potions master.
Things are looking grim though with the Ministry admitting that Lord Voldemort has returned to terrorize both wizarding and Muggle worlds alike.
Happy to have "William" far behind him Snape is living duplicitous lives on both sides of the conflict, concentrating on securing the teaching role he has long coveted, and enjoying the normalcy of a life without Muggle contact.
And then he is given a vital mission: going undercover in the Muggle world as a spy, sanctioned by the Ministry and the UK government. Having vowed to never again have any unnecessary contact with Muggles as long as he should live Snape is reluctant until he is promised that success in the mission will guarantee him the newly created role as Head of the Dark Arts Defence League on top of his teaching commitments.
But what exactly does this mission straddling both the Muggle and wizarding worlds, across the country and into the rest of Europe, involve? And will Muggle-hating Severus Snape be able to complete it living as a Muggle?
[Author's note: This first chapter might seem a bit slow and not as interesting or good as the "Starring Severus Snape" stories but it is very important for the rest of the story so please bear with me. For those who want to know where this story is set in the Harry Potter books it is set near the end of "Order of the Phoenix." Also it is quite long so I apologise for that.
And "Starring Severus Snape" was set in the first half of "OOTP" (i.e. before the Christmas break), "Starring Severus Snape 2" is set in the second half of "OOTP" (i.e. between after the Christmas break and the end of the school year).]
Chapter One: Prisoner Number 376.
Severus Snape suddenly returned to consciousness. Unlike those few moments at the end of a very deep sleep where the sleeper hovers between being asleep and being awake and is unable to distinguish between the dream they'd been having and reality, Snape knew instantly where he was and what had happened. And instantly wished he didn't know. Why couldn't this just be a very bad nightmare?
His eyelids felt incredibly heavy, giants were partying in his head, nymphs were working with jackhammers in his eardrums, his body ached after spending so long in the one- very uncomfortable- position, and his mouth screamed for a stiff "gobli-tini", "werewolf whiskey" or at least a large glass of water. In short it felt a little like a hangover without the good memories of the antics of the night before.
Snape forced his eyes open, taking in the plain white room, about ten feet by ten, with no window, one very thick wooden door, and the old, thin, not entirely hygienic mattress he was lying on. He sat up too suddenly and grasped at his head as it reminded him strongly that movement was bad. He swore under his breath as he waited for the groggy, dizzy feeling to dicipitate before he slowly got to his feet, stretched, and lumbered over to the door. With both first he banged as hard as he could on the solid oak and yelled "Flynn!"
There was a crackling noise and then the calm, overly-smooth, tone of a man filled the almost empty room. "Finally awake sleeping beauty. I was beginning to think you'd never wake up."
"What day is it?" Snape demanded.
"Wednesday. You've been out for two and a half days. I'm sorry about it but we had to drug you." Flynn responded.
Snape frowned. "Tell me what's going on here Flynn. Now!"
The room remained frustratingly silent.
Snape backed away from the door, hating his weak capitulation. But he'd learnt the hard way that in this strange place disturbances were frowned upon and he had no desire for a repeat performance of the punishment he'd been given the first three days he was there. It was after that that he was drugged and left only with a mattress but how long ago that was now he wasn't sure.
The irony of the fact that he considered this cruel and unusual punishment after the torture he'd meted out to fellow classmates while at "Hogwarts School of Wizardry and Witchcraft", during the first coming of the dark wizard Lord Voldemort, and then to students as he lorded it over them as Potions master at his alma matter, didn't escape him. He wondered briefly if that was the point of all this- somewhere along the line he'd pissed off the wrong person and this was revenge. Accosting him, humiliating him, imprisoning him, abusing him, hurting him, locking him up, and letting him stew in his own juices, a Muggle term he'd picked up a few months ago when he was filming "William the Wizard" mini-series.
"Talk to me Flynn. I demand it." Snape snapped. Considering the room showed no signs of a speaker of any kind Snape directed his comments in the direction of the door. He knew that on the other side of the door was a long corridor with rooms like the one he was currently a prisoner in on either side. Whether or not they were occupied he didn't know. He was 99% sure this wasn't Azkaban; the trip had been too short for him to be at the wizarding island prison and there wasn't the feel of despair and gloom you got when the dementors were nearby, ready to suck the life out of anyone.
He knew from when he was brought in that beyond the hallway were some offices, some interview rooms, and then a whole other section he was unfamiliar with. By the amount of people who'd been moving busily around Snape guessed the building was a big one to accommodate the numbers, but he was unsure of where the building was situated. Nor of whom the building belonged to and who had accosted him after he'd left "Gringotts" in Diagon Alley on Sunday evening.
Flynn was silent for a moment. Then he laughed heartily. "Haven't you worked it out yet Severus? We're not your subordinates here. I decide when we talk and what we talk about. I summon you, not the other way around. I'm in charge, not you."
Snape swallowed back a harsh comment. There was no point provoking his shadowy captor. He wondered if he could get something to eat in here? His stomach told him he hadn't eaten for far too long and the last time he remembered eating was when he'd tried a Double Dragonmeat, cheese, bacon, Merpeople mayonnaise burger from a stand outside "Ollivander's" Sunday evening.
"We're not your enemies either, Severus." Flynn added.
'Yeah, sure looks like it from where I'm sitting' Snape thought, but didn't voice out loud.
"Now I'm sorry about the treatment you've had up until now but you didn't exactly come quietly when we asked you to accompany us and you weren't exactly well behaved once we had you in here. So it was for our safety, as well as your own, that we had to drug you. And we've been flat out trying to deal with the mess you left in Diagon Alley on Sunday- erasing or modifying memories, controlling our wizarding world's media, allaying the fears of the few people who actually cared about you, et cetera. In a minute your cell door is going to slowly open and a couple of my guards are going to escort you to interrogation 1 for us to have a little chat." Flynn continued.
Snape nodded meekly- what else could he do? The men who worked for Flynn were good, damn good, and he was no match for them. It was entirely possible that the best of the Aurora's would be no match either. Especially if they had been taken by surprise like Snape had been.
"Oh, and Severus. Don't give my men an excuse to exact a bit of pay back for what you did to a few of their number the other day." Flynn warned.
Another meek nod. While he waited Snape moved back to his pathetic little mattress and sat down again. His mind felt a little detached from his body and he wondered what kind of ingredients had gone in the potion Flynn had ordered him drugged with. It could be helpful for any annoying students once he got back to Hogwarts. But when would that be? He hadn't thought it possible he'd ever truly look forward to returning to the witchcraft and wizardry school until about two years ago when he'd stumbled onto the set of the Muggle movie "William the Wizard" and somehow- in an action he still didn't quite understand- been given the title role. Spending all his time with Muggles had helped give Snape a newfound appreciation for his own kind.
As if the blockbuster movie and all the crazy teenage fangirl's it brought with it weren't enough, he'd had to return to the Muggle world. At the beginning of March he'd been forced (literally- as he'd been threatened by Cornelius Fudge, the Minister for Magic with dire consequences if he didn't obey) to reprise his role in the "William the Wizard" mini-series, creatively titled "William the Wizard: the mini-series." Cue more pain and suffering while filming the ridiculous show, and doing publicity for Lee-Manners' show, and a whole bunch of extras for the DVD launch. Luckily the mini-series had finished on television screens across the country on Sunday night and Snape had a legitimate excuse to get out of appearing at the DVD launch in London next weekend. Unfortunately, however, that excuse was something Snape would rather not have to deal with. It was because Snape was due to begin filming something the Muggles called "reality television" during the summer break and had been booked into a conference in the Ministry to learn all about it on the upcoming weekend. Again a forced issue via Fudge. How many stupid Muggle concepts was he going to have to be a part of? How many more Muggles could he put up with without cursing them?
But now, he realised sadly, his own kind were just as bad as the Muggles, weren't they? Imprisoning him here only three weeks before the end of the school year. It seemed "William" was going to haunt him for all his days. And it even turned out that it was "William" which was- in some way- responsible for his current predicament. Flynn had mentioned it, off the cuff, when Snape was being transported to his current location. What was it precisely he'd said? "Blame William. He's the reason you're here." When Snape had questioned it Flynn had refused to elaborate.
There was a low buzzing noise and the door slowly swung open. Two men, both with wands drawn and pointed in Snape's direction, hurried into the room as a semi-crouch. One went left, one went right, in a perfectly choreographed move.
Snape was tempted to make a comment about them belonging in a ballet but wisely refrained.
"Right Snape. Flynn's ready for you now." The left-hand guard said. His jaw was twitching and his nose was swollen and bruised. He jerked his head towards the door. "Slowly though Snape or I'll use this."
Snape stood up and moved towards the door. In the corridor the two men flanked him but walked approximately two paces behind him.
A voice yelled from another cell. "I want me beer! You buggers promised me butterbeer if I helped capture that bloke the other night!"
"Stingy. Typical." Snape said.
"Don't talk to the other prisoners." The big nosed guard snapped.
"Well there's your problem right there. I'm not a prisoner. Do you even know who I am?" Snape demanded.
"Oh I know all right. You're the one who put a vomiting and diarrhea spell on me the other night when we came to get you. You're responsible for my bloody nose!" The guard responded. "And my brother is still at St. Mungo's getting fixed up. Believe me, I know who you are."
"You are prisoner number 376, nothing more, nothing less." The second guard put in.
Snape was glad the man was behind him and didn't catch the smile on his face. Say what you want about Severus Snape- and many did just that and regularly too- but he wouldn't let himself go down without a fight. Most thought the former dark wizard (or not former depending on who you asked), potions master, Muggle movie star, pale, hook-nosed, greasy-haired, sly, manipulative man was a coward. Most thought that despite his protracted campaigns to get the Defence Against the Dark Arts teaching position Snape wasn't particularly trained in the art. And most would be wrong if Sunday night in Diagon Alley was anything to go by. The day had begun just like any other ordinary Sunday.
Snape had slept in, then had a long and leisurely breakfast in the peace and quiet of his own rooms, caught up on the news of the wizarding universe, read the potions and dark arts defence journals to which he subscribed, and gone outside. He'd watched the Slytherin Quidditch team practice with pride. It was too late for this year's cup to be in Slytherin hands but there was always next year. After his belief in his house's Quidditch team had been heartened he'd been accosted by Lucius Malfoy who wanted to talk to Snape about a new addition to the team- his son, Draco, who as far as Snape had seen had shown zero interest in being part of the team sport. Lucius had promised Snape brand new, top of the line, brooms and seeing "Slytherin" sit proudly on the Quidditch cup next year. Snape was sure the move to add the younger Malfoy would be quite controversial and wondered what Lucius's motives were. Draco had stood quietly throughout the conversation and Snape had glanced at him periodically to see no excitement on his pointed face. It was only when Snape said that Draco would need to be an excellent seeker to even begin to compete with Harry Potter on Gryffindor that the first sparks of life appeared. And then Snape had got it- for Draco it was personal. He wanted to beat Potter. So Snape had told Lucius that if Draco practiced long and hard over the summer he might let him into the team.
After lunch he'd sat down to do some serious marking and thinking about upcoming examinations. This time of year was always Snape's favourite- students cramming for final assignments and spending more time in the library than out in the yards being children, and the prospect of a few blissful student-free weeks to look forward to. Teachers talked about their plans like the students did and Professor Flitwick, the diminutive charms teacher, was traveling to Hawaii to spend some time on the beach relaxing, Professor Sprout, the gardening guru was apparently off to the Andes in search of some cuttings that would be revolutionary in her research, Delores Umbridge, the de-facto leader of the school was probably going to go off somewhere and eat baby children for every meal…and Snape. Snape was going to be stuck with aggravating Muggles filming a television show. His excitement about summer disappeared rapidly.
Snape had been marking first and second year final essays for awhile- he'd lost track of time- when a tapping noise on the window made him raise his head and walk over to where a black owl waited patiently. He unlocked and opened the window to take the envelope that the owl held. It was so large and thick that the owl was having a little trouble balancing. Snape fished for a few coins in his robes and then placed them into the bag tied to the owl's leg. It flew off and Snape closed the window and went back over to his desk. He could tell by the envelope that the content was a magazine. Prior to accidentally stumbling onto the set of "William the Wizard" Snape didn't really know what a magazine arriving via owl mail felt like, unless you counted the occasional copies of "PlayWitch" he ordered. (Every wizard had a dirty little secret, after all.)
When Snape opened the envelope a non-glossy magazine, more like a coloured newspaper really, fell onto his desk. It was called "The Witch and Wizards Guide to Muggle Television, August- September" and on the bottom right of the front cover was a photo of Snape. It had been taken on the grounds of Hogwarts where he had been chewing out a group of students and it showed him shaking his finger furiously. Over and over the photographed Snape looked thunderous and the students looked worried. So Snape flipped through the magazine, which had about twelve pages at the beginning dedicated to interviews, reviews, gossip and story's about what was coming up on Muggle television that month before going on to give a detailed guide to the various shows on daily. Snape's article was on the tenth page.
"THE 'WILLIAM THE WIZARD' MINI-SERIES MAKES SEVERUS SNAPE EVEN MORE OF A STAR, MUGGLE AND WIZARDING."
There seems to be a formula for making money with a mini-series: take a concept from legend or imagination, toss with large amounts of fantasy, bake with spells, potions and the kind of things Muggles dream of in their sleep, and garnish with a great cast. To date the legend of King Arthur and Merlin- one we, in the wizarding world know to be fact not fiction!- has been serialized in "The Adventures of Merlin" and the Muggle adult fantasy series of novels "The Lord of The Rings" made a fortune on the big screen and later on DVD. Now the blockbuster movie "William the Wizard" has been transformed into a small-screen success with "Cutting Edge Productions" making the concept of William funkier and with it's snappy dialogue and topical issues, endeared it to a whole other demographic than those who watched "William" at the movies on more than one occasion.
Why exactly did this work so well and make sure that the premiere of the ten part mini-series attracted a record audience for the BBC? According to Esmeralda Biggins, the head of "Muggle Views on Wizards" an organisation dedicated to keeping watch on how the Muggle world views our world via their novels, comics, movies, television stories and other mediums, it works because the Muggles want to believe. "Muggles think being able to cast spells on each other would be great fun." Biggins said. "Instead of thinking, however, about whether they'd save all the critically endangered animals, fix the ozone layer, and bring about world peace they think about how much they'd enjoy being able to play with their friends and enemies. They'd have people they didn't like coming to work naked, they'd cast spells on their bosses to promote them, on their co-workers to do all their work, on the horses running a race to only run if they were the long shots they had backed, and on an unending supply of whatever is their favourite food or drink." In other words Muggles like watching and reading about this supposed fantasy world of witches and wizards because they're fascinated by the idea of being able to control everyone around them. Whatever the desired spell or potion that the Muggles would dream of being able to utilize the key to a show like "William the Wizard" being so loved and making so much money is that it's all just a fantasy to them. They believe magic isn't true, they think they know that it would never happen, so it's all a dream to them and not surprisingly that means that a show about magic is lapped up by the Muggle consumers.
Shayne Cooper Hieronymus, from non-profit charity group "Keeping Muggles Honest" agrees. "The thing we see most is the differences between male and female Muggles and what they'd do if they had access to magic. Women surveyed list having the housework magically done, dinner on the table without having to cook it themselves, and being able to keep the children quiet and happy as their top three. Whereas men list being invisible- no doubt for obvious reasons-, being able to cast a love spell to make them irresistible to every supermodel in the world and having permanent access to beer."
So what has all this got to do with our Severus's stunning performance in the "William the Wizard" mini-series? It's because of the Muggles fascination with the wizarding world that "William" works so well. And some would also say it's because of Mr. Snape's dynamite performance as a wizard pretending to be a Muggle actor playing a wizard in a Muggle film-
Snape yawned loudly. He decided not to read the rest of the article because he didn't quite understand the point of it other than to regurgitate stuff supposed experts had to say. He did flick to that day's guide to television though to see that the season finale of "William the Wizard" had a small red star next to it denoting it to be one of the four top watches for the day. That knowledge did not fill him with happy thoughts- it meant that any witch or wizard to read the television guide would probably tune in to the show that night and that made his life even harder.
Around Hogwarts "William the Wizard" the mini-series had not been received as well as the movie in terms of the students making fun of him. Yes Lee-Manners' plan to make the series appeal to a range of demographics had worked as the students thought that "William" was better for their ages but Snape had been subjected to more snickers, snide comments, pranks, laughter and out-right comments or questions this time around. One anonymous coward had even wrote a brief essay entitled "Eugenics might have a point: witches and wizards disgracing themselves with Muggles" and left it under Snape's office door. The essay was incredibly well written and Snape partially agreed with some of the sentiments about whether Hogwarts should be pure blood wizards before mixed blood wizards (Snape liked to forget his own heritage a little when it suited him) and how Muggles with no wizarding blood in them should not be admitted to the school regardless of how much talent they might have shown previously. And, ironically, he also agreed it was disgusting when a witch or wizard disgraced themselves with Muggles. There were a couple of well-known examples including a prolific black soccer player who had shunned his wizarding roots full stop and a "model" who had done the same. The difference was, Snape reminded himself, that he had not wanted to be in the stupid Muggle movie or the mini-series and had been pretty much ordered to do so. So surely he wasn't a disgrace, was he?
The magazine was thrown into the fire and Snape returned to his marking.
At the end of the hallway another door buzzed and then Snape was lead through an identical hallway. This time, however, he was stopped at a door on the right side, halfway down.
The big-nosed guard touched the wall next to the door with his wand. "Entero!" He said.
Snape hadn't heard that spell before and he wondered if it was an alternative for the normal spell one would use to open a door.
The door clicked open and the guards shoved Snape inside. He turned around to give them a piece of his mind, but the door was slammed shut practically on his nose. He muttered a few choice descriptive of the two guards on the other side, then turned to face the man who was sitting on the other side of the small table, his feet up on the table, crossed at the ankles. With his wand he was drumming a tattoo on the tabletop. "Do you like ACDC Severus?"
"I don't know, I've never tried it." Snape replied.
Flynn laughed. "It's a band, not a food. Anyway, come on and sit down." He said, taking his feet off the table.
Snape did as he had been told. Flynn was the most unlikely looking wizard Snape had ever come across. He wore dark blue denim jeans, a grey t-shirt and a mustard yellow coloured corduroy jacket. He had a bit of a five o-clock shadow happening, and most disturbing of all for Snape, a diamond stud in his nose.
"I hope you've been satisfied with your stay here. You can fill in a form on your way out if you want." Flynn said.
Snape ignored the sarcasm. "I don't even know where 'here' is!" He complained.
"London. So I want to talk to you about something, Severus." Flynn began.
Snape shook his head. "No. You snatched me off the street-"
"We asked you to accompany us, you said no, we brought you anyway-" Flynn argued.
"You physically assaulted me-" Snape continued.
"No. You were violent and we reacted in self defence." Flynn disagreed.
"You drugged me!" Snape said.
"We had to. You were a danger to us and yourself." Flynn responded.
"You locked me up in a little cell!" Snape said angrily.
"Yeah. That's true. But if you'd have just came with us Sunday you'd have been back at Hogwarts by Monday. Instead you have to put up a fight." Flynn said. Then he sighed. "God how juvenile is this? I'm not going to argue with you Severus."
Snape didn't respond.
"Have you ever seen any of the James Bond movies, Severus?" Flynn asked.
Snape shook his head. "I don't know who he is."
"Pity. That could have helped me explain who I am- sorry, who we are- and what you were doing here a lot easier." Flynn lamented.
"Sorry to be an inconvenience." Snape said sarcastically. Of course he wasn't; he was scared, he didn't know what he'd done wrong, and he wondered if he was going to get out of this place alive. Whatever this place even was!
Flynn laughed. "You should have been a comedian not an actor."
"I'm not an actor!" Snape snapped. "I'm just a potions teacher. I just want to go back to Hogwarts and teach. I want to impart my vast potions knowledge on the children of the future."
Flynn laughed again. "You say it almost as if you believe it. You don't even like children. And potions is just a consolation prize isn't it? You want the Defence Against the Dark Arts post." He said, almost conversationally, as if he and Snape were old friends just chatting about their lives and dreams.
Snape gaped. Who was this man who knew everything?
"Anyway my television set Sunday evening would say otherwise. I watched the mini-series of "William the Wizard" and I thought it was pure genius. When I got the assignment to pick you up Sunday I was going to ask you for your autograph." Flynn said.
"Why don't you get me a quill and some parchment then and I'll write you a nice, personal message?" Snape offered.
Flynn shook his head. "Can I ask you something though, Severus? With "William" why didn't they bring Wendy back into the mini-series? I mean I know she had that cameo where you had the dream sequence with her- and let me just say that kiss in the rain scene, hot, hot, hot- but why not a full role? Emma is so stunning. You're one lucky bastard." He said.
Snape raised an eyebrow. "Emma is nuts. I thank my lucky moons daily she wasn't in the mini-series full time because I would have killed her and then me." He explained.
"Are you serious? Who cares if she's more mental than Gilderoy Lockhart and any of the other loonies in St. Mungo's special care wing when she's smoking?" Flynn asked.
"I don't think she smoked. Because one of the actors did and she said he stank from them and it would be like kissing an ashtray." Snape answered.
"Er…I didn't say she smoked I said she was smoking…oh never mind, it's not relevant now." Flynn said, waving a hand.
"But you said that "William" was why I was here." Snape said, confused.
"I said it was part of the reason. It's not really got a lot to do with things here, but the fact that you were a wizard playing a Muggle playing a wizard so well put you right to the top of the list of men for the job." Flynn answered.
Snape didn't say anything, but that was because he was thinking again about Sunday night. After eating a very rushed dinner he'd excused himself and gone to his rooms again, in time for the "William the Wizard" mini-series. He was ashamed to admit he'd been watching it carefully over the past two months and that seven o'clock on a Sunday saw him tuned into the BBC for the show starring none other than himself:
Snape heaved a loud sigh as the words "The End" in fancy lettering filled the screen of the television he'd transfigured from one of the house elves to watch the finale of the "William the Wizard" mini-series. It was over!
But before the credits came on the insanely grinning face of a Muggle man popped up on the screen and Snape groaned out loud. Unfortunately he was very familiar with Lee-Manners although he desperately wished he weren't. This was the man who had been responsible for the mini-series and Snape's reluctant involvement in said series. Snape hadn't wanted to act again but someone with power stepped in and forced his hand: the Minister for Magic, Cornelius Fudge, who happened to be good friend with the Muggle man. Fudge had basically informed Snape that if he chose not to be part of the mini-series he'd be thrown into Azkaban and, faced with the prospect of being stuck in the island prison surrounded by the horrible Dementors, possibly meeting many of the Death Eaters who still languished there and might consider Snape's continued freedom irrefutable proof that he was no longer dedicated to Lord Voldemort and no doubt being out of the running for the spot of "Defence Against the Dark Arts" teacher at Hogwarts, Snape had capitulated. Filming of the mini-series had begun at the beginning of spring and it was only now, as the last days of the school year came about, that with the conclusion of the television series that it was all over. Unfortunately Snape could not forget that at the end of summer- in just over two months- he'd be taking part in what the Muggle population called "reality television." He still didn't know what that meant entirely but mid-summer he was charged with reporting to the Ministry where he'd be given a crash course in Muggle reality over a few days. The show Snape was meant to be on was a celebrity version of something that usually was done by the "normal" people (if you could ever count a single Muggle as normal, which Snape was pretty sure you couldn't) and then he was due to fly to an island for a few weeks of a show that was a combination of a few Muggle reality shows from around the world. Could anything be worse? Was there a fate worse than that?
Snape's attention returned to the cat-television screen. "Hi," the man said, "I'm Zorba Apple Honeyblossom Gazelle Lee-Manners, the creator and managing director of "Cutting Edge Productions", and I'm here to have, like, a quick word to you about this mini-series you've just been watching."
Snape snorted: Lee-Manners was incapable of having a quick word. Snape truly believed he'd never met a man who loved the sound of his own voice more than Lee-Manners did. Nor a man more infuriating, strange, crazy and most likely to be cursed by any wizard or witch who had the misfortune of dealing with him at any point in their life.
The cat-television didn't believe it either; it meowed loudly.
"If you're watching this mini-series then I assume you did so because you, like, totally loved the Hammond production of the same name released last year. I did too; I consider myself, like, the number one fan of "William the Wizard." The movie managed to cross the genres of thriller, action, romance and to a lesser degree comedy and appealed to people aged from 10 to 100. In short it totally rocked, yeah?" Lee-Manners looked directly at the viewers and waited for a long moment like he was waiting for nods of agreements.
"Originally Mr. Hammond- on of this country's total geniuses- planned to make this mini-series but instead he decided to concentrate on other projects, including a sequel or prequel to William. And that's where I came in. After a hard negotiated deal with "Hammond Productions" I was given the go-ahead to make this mini-series. Believe me, man, I was beyond stoked when I was told the good news. With a few stipulations I was given artistic freedom to do, like, whatever I wanted with William and his journey. I decided to make the mini-series edgier, hipper, trendier, to ensure I met my target demographic. Plus I thought, like, William deserved to be cooler. I wanted William to be all that the movie was and more- I wanted to add in some cameos from well-known actors and actresses, deal with current issues, as well as fill the satirical hole shows like "Buffy" have left in our entertainment world." Lee-Manners explained.
Snape yawned. Was this Lee-Manners' version of quick, then?
"I don't want to totally bore you to death with banging on about what I hoped this mini-series would deliver because we, like, totally did. As the ratings have shown. I just wanted to let you know how much the entire "William" team here, from the actors and actresses, directors, producers, writers, costume and make-up, props, cameramen, locations scouts and musical teams, appreciates your totally amazing support. Is this the end of William? I don't think so. Not by a long shot. And not by "Hammond Productions", nor the "Cutting Edge" team. In the meantime, stay cool. Peace out, yo'." Lee-Manners held up two fingers and then saluted smartly. And the screen faded to black before the credits began to roll.
As Snape gripped his wand to reverse the cat-television a voice-over told the viewers that the BBC would be releasing the DVD set of the mini-series shortly, packed with many extras including alternate endings and deleted scenes, commentary from writers and directors, behind the scenes tours of the special effects team as well as the people charged with making the viewers believe that William and his friends really were wizards and witches, information on the celebrity guest stars, and interviews with the stars of the show.
The cat, back to its normal form, left the room like it had a ghost on its tail. Which, considering the number of ghosts floating around "Hogwarts" was entirely possible. Snape stood up and stretched. He had just enough time to get to town and get his stores for the following week.
A sound of a throat clearing brought Snape back to the present.
Flynn was peering at him, concerned. "Severus, are you with me? Severus? Blast. This could be a side effect of those drugs…" He said.
"I'm fine." Snape managed.
Flynn looked very relieved. "I want to show you something Severus. Before we continue here." He took his wand and pointed it at the biggest wall. "Opaquia."
The wall changed. First it was black, then brown, then beige, then white, then frosted glass, then clear glass. And through the window was an amazing sight. Snape had to stand up and move closer to the glass to be sure of what he was seeing. Below him was an area about the size of two football stadiums. There were desks and chairs, wizards and witches, all kinds of magical creatures, and various spells and charms were being dispatched in glassed off areas at uneven places around the huge room.
"What is this?" Snape asked.
"This is us. Our organisation. Welcome to MI12." Flynn said. He sounded like a proud parent.
"MI12?" Snape repeated.
"MI5 plus 6 plus 1. MI12." Flynn answered. "We're the Ministry of Magic's secret; we're the wizarding world's intelligence sector for the UK, Europe, all of this planet. Very few people have stood where you're standing now and watched this and of those even fewer still can remember it afterwards. For security reasons we usually need to wipe memories."
To Snape's surprise the prospect of not remembering this strange visit didn't bother him at all. In fact he welcomed it. "And why am I here?" He asked.
"To help. You're here to help." Flynn answered.