My life was flashing before my eyes

A second later, I walked away

Like my heart had crashed and burned in shame

You pulled me from the flames

I took your hand and you helped me upon my feet

I confessed but you had forgiven me

There's courage in the truth you said

Our love will never end

You shield me from danger, you're my shelter

You are my hiding place

She stared silently out the window, watching as the rain weaved its way across the cool glass. It rained so often recently it almost seemed to match her mood for mood, each day as she woke up hating herself just a little bit more, it was almost a given it would be a little darker outside.

Involuntarily she shivered slightly when her arm gently brushed against the window, she didn't understand why she hated herself so much, she just knew she did. Three months ago she had begun to despise herself; every perfect curve she unmercifully crucified, every almost invisible flaw in her character she began to dissect and change, she had a mission to become perfect.

She had begun to exercise non-stop, she'd taken up running, only gradually to start with but slowly as the pounds began to slide off she increased the amount until it became a routine, her excuse it gave an escape from problems and the stress of being in the public eye. This combined with a drastic change in diet, resulted in very sudden weight loss and the more weight she lost, the more she wanted to loose. Her goal of seven stone had been reached easily, but somehow six seemed far more appealing, and now here she was in a room in a rehab clinic weighing just four stone and six pounds. She was dangerously underweight, and gradually loosing more, no one could make her eat and she didn't want to. Sure her family and friends cared about her but no one knew quite what to say, this new Vanessa and her determination scared them.

When people had started to pay compliments on her weight loss it had become an addiction and regained some of the self-control she thought was slipping away, and now when she was presented with the truth of being too thin she really couldn't believe it. Its funny how one joking comment about being heavy from a friend can completely change your life, and the one friend she'd needed right then to defend her had been away filming. Four months he'd been gone, and she missed him, he'd know what to do, he'd know how to save her, she was sure of it, but had anyone even thought to tell him?

Tears silently flowed onto her face as she stared at her reflection in the mirror, gently lifting her t-shirt up to expose the skeleton underneath, she ran her fingers softly over each rib, a small smile tugged at her lips but the tears remained. She quietly withdrew back to her previous position on the floor, staring desperately out the window, searching...searching for him, hoping he'd arrive in time to save her. She hugged her knees in an attempt to keep warm, the once shiny hair falling lankly in front of her face, "please," she whispered to the sky.

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AN ok so I'd really like to kow what you think to this story, constructive criticism very much appreciated!

Its personal to me because I have suffered from an eating disorder but I guess it may have therefore made it harder to write which is why prehaps I think it seems quite messy.