Disclaimer: I don't own any of the twilight saga or its characters cause if I did there would be a lot more of Carlisle and Esme and Jasper ( for jess =])

I know this has been don't A LOT but I thought id still write a bit bout it, and if its liked ill write more, and everyone sees it happening differently. So I hope it's not too similar.

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The back of a hand can be the most interesting thing in a moment of desperation. The bones sticking through as you watch them move up and down as you drum a haphazard beat and your knee, while you sit perched on a large hard rock. The light breeze blew my thin summer dress against my bare legs. The wind swept up. Blowing the hair from my face. In that gust, I saw so many things, a lost half of my life. A lost love. Some things you cant help remembering.

"Esme?" The he said to me smiling.

"Yes?" I turned to him, his voice sent chills down my spin, my cheeks on fire.

"Isn't it beautiful up here?" he said in a whispered hush, my hand longing to be held in his.

I looked out to the night before us. The stars reflecting in the sea dancing as the waves moved. I sighed. "Very"

"I tell you what Esme; if you stop injuring yourself like that and breaking your leg, we'll call this your special place…Esmes Edge, not very poetic, or romantic" He joked "but between us, it's yours."

He smiled angelically and passed me his jumper. I'd been so lost in his deep sparkling eyes I hadn't realise he now sat in a shirt and a long white coat. He took his scarf from his neck and wrapped it round mind. I was slightly shocked at the sight of his neck. Scared, but not like a normal scar. Like a bite. I turned away to be polite.

"Thank you" I finally said inhaling it subtly it smelt so good. "Are you staying in town now then Dr Cullen?"

"Please, it's Carlisle." He said. I smirked and again blushed, my cheek felt so hot I thought I could fry an egg.

"Sorry…Carlisle" he looked at me, his eyes sparkling like the stars above.

"I'm moving on soon; see more of the world…" He looked out to sea. "What about you Esme? What do you want to do?"

"I want to have a family…a loving husband." I looked at him, our eyes met, and he smiled. He turned back to me and gritted his jaw. "I better get you back to the ward before somebody notices you've gone."

Nothing else was said really, I though maybe I'd offended him. He pushed me back to the room. I must have fallen asleep, because when I opened my eyes, the light was pushing its way through the small curtain. Carlisle was sat in the chair beside my bed, staring at me, concerned. I kept my eyes closed to an extent, watching him. He didn't look tired at all. Had he slept too, in that chair next to me all night? I shut my eyes completely as he stood. His touch was so cold, I thought maybe I'd caught a fever, or maybe he was ill. He moved me lightly, with little effort and removed his jumper. He put it back on, if id been able to see properly, I could have sworn that he stopped as the smooth fabric passed over his head. Like he was inhaling my smell. He looked at me, and I could have sworn he mouthed goodbye. His despaired face watching me as he left the room, his jaw clenched so tight his teeth were sure to come through the other side. "Don't forget me Esme…You're special…I can't hurt you"

I'd ended up here again. My Edge. Without my angel. I snapped my eyes shut, tight, trying to conceal the body shaking tears from escaping again, holding myself. Everything had gone wrong; it shouldn't have been like this. My chest hurt, like fire burned and ached, I wasn't really sure if it was because id cried so much, or if my heart was truly broken. Shattered. My heart had been taken by him. That dark rainy night when I met him. Lying in the cold dark hospital bed, when I'd handed him back his coat. My fragile heart had been broken by Charles and his abuse. Now it is in pieces because of me. Me, dreaming that one day he'd come back to me, and save me from the life I was living. Life. My life had been over the day I watched him leave the room. Never to see him again. So many dreams I had. Only then had I been the real me, When I was with him. All I was doing was making things worse, by wanting him. The one who could take away my pain. The crisp sea air blew up stronger as I stood and edged my feet closer to the drop. I inhaled deeply. My heart rang in my ear.Thump.

The reason I was here I was trying to ignore. My little boy was gone. My baby. That had finally tipped me. In that moment I opened my eyes, and maybe it was my mind messing with me, maybe it was my way of completing the job. But in that desperate moment, I saw him. The young angelic doctor I'd seen years before, my leg ached where he had touched it. Where he had fixed me. Thump. Thump. I stepped forward. My angel stood before me. I wanted him to fix my broken heart. Smiling lovingly, out stretching his firm cool hands. I reached for him. The vision disappeared. I kept my eyes shut. Thump. Savouring my angel's glorious and beautiful face. Thump. His smooth blond hair. Thump. I was so involved in my thoughts. I didn't feel the gush of the wind as I fell to the beach below. Thump. I didn't see the older couple and their dog walking along, watching me fall. Thump. I didn't feel the beach as I hit it and its rocks and rough wet sandy surface. Thud. Thump.

I could only see my angel. Some memories are worth the pain and sometimes you have to push away the tears, hold your head high and say goodbye. Thump. Like Carlisle had ten years ago. Like I hoped he had ten years ago. But I wasn't like Carlisle. No more holding my head high. No more pretending I was fine. Thump. No more heartache. Carlisle Cullen was worth all the pain in the world. All the lost smiles. All the anguish in the world, because he had kept me going, the thought and constant hope I may have one day seen him again. And now he was the reason I lay on the damp beach, my body gradually giving up, cause at the end of the day, it was better to be alone, than aching. Thump. I don't know how long I lay on the beach for. I didn't notice the men taking my fragile broken body to the morgue. The cold dead morgue. Their warm hands burned my cold skin. I should have been dead by now.

What was I holding out for? I wasn't really fussed that the two men hadn't checked to see if I was breathing. I wanted to die. I wouldn't last much longer. I could hear the ever decreasing rate of my heart. Thump. I just lay there wondering how many people never get the one they want, but end up with the one they're supposed to have. Was I meant to have Charles? Whilst wanting my Angel. Was my Carlisle the one I wanted and was supposed to be with? I was holding on to something that used to be there, I'd always hoped he would come back for me. Thump. Knowing deep in my heart and mind he wouldn't. My body wouldn't carry on much longer, and me giving up didn't mean I was weak, it meant I was strong enough to let go of him. Even if it meant I died to. As I closed my eyes for the last time, I saw his beautiful face, staring down at me. His expression shocked but at the same time happy. I couldn't tell. He was too blurry. My angel had come back for me. But he couldn't have been there. He didn't look a day older than he was 10 years before. A tear escaped my flooded eyes.

His face looked indecisive.

Like he was debating something.

His head moved towards my neck.

He couldn't have been there…

...my angel.