Hitokiri Elf: Okay, well, Cap'n Jack ain't anywhere around so I guess I'll just start. I'm sure she'll show up eventually. Anyway, this is very random. So please have a good laugh and don't flame me to terribly.
Disclaimer: I don't own RK, infact I also don't own Horatio Hornblower, which is so much better than Master and Commander, even though I haven't seen that movie. I also don't own his plot. Again I am writing this for my friend Captain Jack Sparrow.
WAR OF ORO!!
BY: HITOKIR ELF SLAYER OF EVIL
PLOT BY: CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW
It turned out to be a very snowy evening before the day that our plot takes place. Captain Jack was humming to herself and I was reading, or at least trying to while Captain hummed that annoying pirates tune. "and bring me really bad eggs!" she sang the last line as I glared at her.
"Will you cut that out?" I asked as the shoji screening he far side of the room opened. In walked Kenshin and Sano after having escorted Kaoru, Yahiko and Megumi-sensei to the train station for their long awaited vacation to Kyoto.
"Cut what out?" Sano asked me.
"Captain is singing that song again, and for the fourth hundredth time too," I replied.
"Oro?" Sano asked. Now that was…unexpected from the bum. Captain Jack smiled slightly while Kenshin glared at his best friend. Who would have ever guessed Sano to use that WORD?! But, it sounded better when Kenshin said it.
"Sano, don't say that word, its KENSHIN'S!" Captain Jack yelled.
"I can say that word if I want too!" Sano yelled back at my best friend.
"Don't yell at her!" I stood up and yelled as well. Kenshin didn't say anything, but there were specks of amber around his normally violet eyes.
"I can if I want to it's a free country!" Sano yelled at me.
"NO IT ISN'T!!" I yelled back.
"YOUR TALKING ABOUT AMERICA!!" Captain Jack and Myself, Hitokiri Elf, yelled at the same time.
"This means war!" that came from Kenshin.
"Oro is my word and I shant let you have it!" he continued.
"Yeah!" Captain Jack (the fanfic writer like myself) yelled. I smiled broadly.
"Fine, we'll fight first thing tomorrow!" Sano said and stalked out of the dojo.
"WHOOP! WHOOP!" Captain Jack yelled.
"Man, how much rum have oyu had?" I asked as she ran around the dojo. Kenshin and I sweat dropped once she started to do the 'Macarena'.
"Is your friend totally insane?" Kenshin asked me. I turned and smiled at him.
"Yeah she is insane, and I'm evil and we like it that way!" I replied.
"ITS MY BIRTHDAY! I AMS O GOOD! YEAH! YEAH!" Captain Jack was singing some song that didn't rhyme or had a tune at all.
Then all of a sudden, a lemon pie hit Kenshin right in the face. I couldn't help but giggle.
"Oro?" he said before falling over.
"Ya got him good that time Jack!" I called.
"CAPTAIN!" she reminded me from the other end of the dojo. She was holding another pie.
"Right, sorry CAPTAIN jack. But, where did you get all those pies?" I asked.
"it's a fanfic right?" she asked me.
"Yeah?"
"So, anything can happen. And your writing it. It ain't my fault I'm acting like this," she replied.
"But, you always act like this," I reminded her.
"Oh? Right, I forgot," she said and then she launched the pie at me. I ducked.
"Hehe, you missed me," I cried as I giggled.
"Geeze, you must be more drunk than I thought at first!" she retorted.
"HAY! I'M NOT THE ONE DRUNK ON RUM!" I yelled.
"Than what are ya drunk on?" she asked me.
"Root bear! What else?" I asked. She then grabbed another pie out of thin air and threw it at me.
------------------------
Hitokiri Elf: Wait a second! Why doe she get all the bombs?
Sushi the Talking Sushi Platter: Beats me!
------------------------
Anyway, it had snowed heavily that night. And I found myself out in the yard of the dojo after breakfast. Sano was going to arrive soon and I couldn't help but feel…… weirdly worried for both men. Kenshin more cause' I like him more, but whose keeping score? And why am I rhyming?
"Hay is he here yet?" Captain Jack asked me.
"Nope," I replied.
"I hope he gets here soon," she replied.
"Yup," I said.
"He is so annoying," she kept going.
"Yup" I said as I hopped from one foot to the next.
"He better not beat Kenshin up to bad!" she waved her fist in the air.
"Nope," I said.
"Can't you use more than one word in a sentence?" she asked me irritably.
I had to think about that, "Yup," I replied.
"Figures," she rolled her eyes and suddenly, there was Sano standing at the edge of the yard.
"Kenshin! He's here!" I yelled. Kenshin came out of the dojo.
"Now, here is what is going to happen. You two are going to have a snow ball fight and the person who wins gets to use the word 'ORO'," Captain Jack explained.
"But, no slush, no rocks in the snow, and nothing that can seriously injure or kill the opponent. This is the 'WAR OF ORO'. So, go ahead and be messy!" I contributed. Then both men bowed to each other and got ready for the signal. Captain Jack and I retreated to the porch and gave that signal.
In five minutes it was all over. Snow balls had ben flung mercilessly into the air and before Sano could even say "Hitokiri Elf's uncle" he was laying on his back looking at the sky. Kenshin smiled broadly and Captain Jack and I whooped loudly and hugged him.
"And Kenshin wins the shortest war in the history of Japan!" I yelled.
"How long did it take?" Captain Jack asked me.
"Five minutes," I replied importantly.
"Wow, that's like…..the shortest war in the history of the world!" Captain Jack said and waved her arms about.
THE END
Hitokiri Elf: well, how was that?
Captain Jack: I dunn know…..maybe we should let the reviewers answer that question?
Hitokiri Elf: Good idea, Review please!
Captain Jack: thanks for reading!