So, this is my first story on . It's a BL Story, I hope you all like it. Feel free to post a review, i'd love to read how you liked it...
Lucas sat on his bed, looking around his empty room
Lucas sat on his bed, looking around his empty room. He closed his eyes, breathing out still in disbelief. Was this really happening? It was a few ago since Lindsay had left him. His mum, Andy and Lilly had already left, but not before Lucas assured his mother that he was going to be okay. But now he wasn't so sure about that. What happened? A months ago he was so sure about him and Lindsay. Or did he only lied to himself? His head was a total mess, he felt like he couldn't think straight. He got up, and started packing a bag. He went to his closet looking through his stuff. That's when he saw a little box. He grabbed it with a smile on his face. He opened it, only to find an empty bottle of his HCM Medication, along with a red feather. He smiled again. Brooke. Her name came to his mind, along with some memories. Some good memories.
„Hi." Lucas rushed around to find Peyton in his doorway. She looked at him with big eyes.
„Hi." He replied. He put the box away and got a shirt in stead, walking back to his bed to put it in his bag.
„Are you leaving?" She asked with a little voice. He simply nodded.
„You are going after her, aren't you?" she asked.
„No Peyton, I'm not." He saw relief in her eyes. And somehow he didn't feel good about it.
„So, then where are you going?"
„I don't know yet, i just need to clear my head."
She nodded, she seemed to understand. „I'm sorry i didn't check in before, i just really didn't know what to say to you."
„So then why are you here now?" he asked. Peyton was taken aback.
„Like i said, i wanted to see how you're doing. I wasn't expecting to find you packing up your stuff and leaving without saying goodbye."
„I'm sorry, I didn't know i had to report every single step i'm about to take.."
„Luke..." She looked at him, hurt by his harsh words. He turned around and got some other stuff to put in his bag. He didn't feel good talking to her like that, but somehow he couldn't change it.
„I know, this is probably the worst timing ever – but where does this leave us?" Her voice was unsure and almost cracking up.
„Somehow it's always bad timing with you. With us." He said sheepishly.
„What do want to say by that?"
He just gave her a look, and she looked down. Taking this in. There was a moment of silence. Peyton Sawyer. She was beautiful, caring, and just so much like him. And yet, he felt that something has changed.
„Like i said, i just need to get away, i need to clear my head."
„Okay... For how long are you going to be away?"
„I have no idea Peyton." His voice was getting louder. Her eyes got bigger. „Right know i don't know much of everything. So would you just please stop questioing me?" She stepped back, reaching for the door.
„Call me, when you're home – and when you want to talk. Anytime."
And then she was gone. And then he felt the strangest thing. He felt relieved. He picked up his bag, and left his room and his house.
Brooke rushed in to her store a few days later. It was morning and she was late – again.
„Oh Milicent, thank god you're already here."
„Of course, someone has to open the store, right?"
The two girls smiled at each other. Brooke was happy to have her here. She heared the door open and turned around. „Hey Tutorgirl!" She greeted Haley. „Hey." Haley replied.
„In the mood for some shopping?"
„Not really. Just came by to say hi."
Brooke put an arm around her and guided her to the couch.
Shortly after they were sitting next to each other, having coffee and were talking.
„Have you heard from Lucas?" Brooke asked her.
„No. I tried his cell, but he didn't answer."
„Do you think we need to worry about him?" Brooke asked her friend.
„I don't think so. He said on the message he left me on my mailbox the day he left, that he just need to be alone, and clear his head."
Brooke nodded. „Yeah, i understand. Sometimes you need to take a step back to really deal with it all."
„By the way? How's Peyton?"
„She's okay. She keeps herself busy – i know she's still very confused, and the fact that he said yes kind of bugs her too."
„Yeah." Haley nodded. „Do you think they are going to work things out? Getting back together?"
Brooke shrugged. „I don't know."
„To be honest, i don't even know if i want them to."
„What do you mean?" Brooke asked her friend.
„Don't get me wrong, you know i love Peyton. But somehow, she never managed to make him entirely happy. And he was devasted when she turned down his proposal. I was really worried about him back then. And at the same time i was kind of angry at her." She took a sip of her coffee and put the cup down again.
Brooke took this in, not responding. She remembered his visit in New York, when they were celebrating his book. He tried his best to show that he was really happy, but she knew he had been heartbroken. She decided to burry this thought for now.
„How are things with you and Nathan?" She asked instead. Haley looked down, she seemed still upset.
„I don't really know. I'm still having a hard time to entirely forgive him and to move on."
Brooke grabed her hand and squeezed it tightly. „You will get there – you're Nathan and Haley. You're the definition of true love."
She squeezed Brookes hand back. „I missed this Brooke." Haley confessed.. „You and me, talking. I'm really glad to have you home friend." Brooke gave her a warm look.
A FEW WEEKS LATER
Brooke got home, looking trough the mail as she found Peyton sitting in the kitchen, having tears in her eyes.
„Hey Peyton, what's wrong?" She rushed over to here, sitting next to her.
„No word from him. It's been weekes and no word from him. I even left him a few messages, and he just doesn't answer.
„Sweetie, he said he wanted to be left alone for a while. What were you expecting?"
„I don't know. Just something. Anything."
Brooke nodded. „I know it's not easy. But that's how Lucas is. When something happens he first has to deal with it on his own. You just have to let him. And when he's ready, when he wants to talk to you, he will get in touch with you."
Brooke took her in her arms, offering her a hug. She knew what it was like to feel left behind from Lucas. She knew how Lucas could react in those kind of moments.
After making sure that Peyton was okay, she left again, to take a little walk. She breathed the fresh air in. She had been thinking to try to contact Lucas herself. Maybe it wasn't her place anymore, but she was somehow worried. Like she's always been when he was in a dark place. Suddenly she found herself in front of the rivercourt. She walked her way to the middle of the court and looked at their signatures they all made years ago. A sad smile came across her face. Those were the days. Most of them were good, but some heartache too. Suddenly she heard something behind her. She looked up in surprise, only to find Lucas in front of her. He looked good, as always.
A small „Hey" left her lips. He smiled at her. She followed her instinct and made a few steps towards him, and hugged him. He hugged her back tightly.
„Since when are you back?" She asked as she broke away from his embrace.
„A few hours ago." He replied. She noddes. „Are you okay?" She asked.
„Yeah. It was good to get away from it all."
They both looked down again at their signatures. „Seemed like a lifetime ago, hm?" said Brooke.
„Tell me about it." They both shared a sad look.
„What are you doing here alone on your own?" he asked after a while.
„Had to get some air. But i wasn't expecting to bump into you here. Well, this was normally the place to find you when you weren't doing so well, but i meant you being away and everyhing."
He nodded. „I wasn't expecting to find you here either. But i'm glad i did."
They shared another look, smiling slightly at each other.
It was a beautiful night. You could see the stars very clearly, and it wasn't too cold, neither was it too warm. Just the perfect night for two souls to walking next to each other, talking to each other.
„So did you go see Lindsay on that little trip of yours?" Brooke asked Lucas. He hesitated for a second.
„Well at first i didn't want to. But then, somehow, I ended up in New York anyway. I was in front of her office, ready to go up, i had my whole speech planed out, i knew had to go to talk to her." Brooke looked at him, listening. „But then i saw her coming out of the building, and i saw her smiling, talking to a collague. She was happy. And i realized I haven't seen her smile in a long time. All this messed up history with Peyton – she really suffered."
„Yeah, that's a tough one, believe me" Brooke said with a little voice. He looked at her with worried eyes. „Never mind, go on", Brooke reasured him.
„Anyway, i didn't approached her. Somehow I felt like i didn't have the right to it..."
„Well maybe, someday you will."
„Yeah maybe."
There was a moment of silence. „Then i left New York, i joined my Mom, Andy and Lilly. And it felt really good to just be for myself a little while. You know, without all the drama. Silence really helped me realize, that i need to be on my own for now. Focus on other things."
„Like your second book?"
Lucas smiled. „Well, that's mainly the reason why Lindsay walked away. I think I'm going to burn that script. Brought me nothing but trouble..."
„That bad?" Brooke smiled, trying to light him up.
„The story is about a boy, who's waiting for something to come back to his life. Giving it meaning again. And she thinks I was talking about Peyton."
Brookes smile froze. „Were you?"
He shrugged. „It's true that I felt like something was missing in my life when I wrote it. I felt like I'm still searching for something that's been missing. So she might be right to be worried about that – i mean, not the greatest start for a marriage, right? But was I thinking of Peyton specifically? No, I don't think so..."
They kept walking next to each other, until they ended up in front of her house.
„Well thanks for walking me home Lucas."
„Anytime Brooke."
They hugged, and Brooke went up the stairs to her door.
„Hey Brooke!" Lucas said. She turned around, to face him again.
„I don't know if that still means something to you – but I am truely sorry for all the times i did make you suffer." He looked straight into her eyes. She shrugged and nodded: „It does." After a second she added: „Thank you."
After a beat he turned around and left. She remained on her porch, watching him leave. For a minute she felt like seventeen again – hurt, heartbroken and alone, watching he boy she loves walking away.
When Brooke came down the stairs the next morning she felt tired. She hadn't slept very good. When she met her best friend Peyton in the kitchen, something was telling her, she wasn't the only one.
„Good morning P. Sawyer."
„Good morning. Coffee?" Peyton offered her a cup of coffee, which Brooke accepted.
„So, today is a new day. I'm gonna stop crying over Lucas, I'm gonna stop all that crap. Life goes on right?"
Brooke looked at her with a guilty look.
„What?" Peyton asked.
„Haven't heard from him?"
„No, why?" Brooke bit her lower lip. „Did you?"
„Yeah. I met him last night."
„What? Where? And why are you telling me this only now?"
„Because I came home late, you were already in your room."
„Late? So did you guys talk? Did he mention me?"
Brooke looked out of the window, her eyes narrowing the porch, from where she watched him walking away yesterday.
„Yes and no" she replied. Peyton looked at her still all confused. „Look, just talk to him yourself" She checked the watch. „And like you said - life goes on! I gotta go, I'm late again, Milicent is going to kill me." She packed up her stuff and ran out of the door.
„Brooke, you can't just..." Peyton yelled after her, but she was already gone, leaving her friend alone.
Shorty after that, Peyton was knocking on Lucas's door.
After a beat, the door opened, and Peyton was standing in front of Haley.
„Hi Hales."
„Hey."
There was a akward moment of silence. The two girls haven't really talked since the day Lindsay left Lucas.
„Looking for Lucas, I guess?"
„Yeah, actually I am."
„Well he's out for a run, but if you want you come in and wait for him?"
Peyton nodded and entered. They both went into the living room. Peyton sat down on the couch, greeting Jamie, who was watching TV. „Jamie wanted to see his uncle, so we stopped by. We're waiting for him like you are." Haley left the room and went into the kitchen. Jamie stared at Peyton. After a moment she got up, joining Haley in the kitchen.
„Haley – we're cool, right?"
Haley looked at her in silence. „I mean, i feel like there is this negativ tension between us. And i know, you are close to Lindsay..."
„Yeah, I am Peyton."
„And that's great, she is a nice girl..."
„Oh come on Peyton, you've never liked her. You always wanted Lucas to yourself."
„What's that suppose to mean?"
„He was happy Peyton – he really was. After you turned him down he was heartbroken. And then when he finally finds happiness again, you just come rushing back into his life, and tearing down everything he's been building in the meantime. So forgive me, if i'm not as happy as you are to see my best friend devastated again..."
„You think I'm happy about this?" Peyton's voice got louder.
„Honestly? Yes, I think you got excactly what you've wanted, what you came home for."
All of the sudden Jamie came running in the kitchen yelling: „Uncle Lucas is home!" Both girls looked to the door, where Lucas was standing, looking back at both of them.
„What's going on?"
Haley sighed as she reached out for Jamies hand. „Come on we're leaving the two of them alone."
„But i want to spend some time with uncle Lucas" Jamie protested.
„You'll see him later, right Luke?"
Lucas stroke the boy's hair. „Yeah, i will stop at your house later, okay?" Jamie nodded and then they were gone. Lucas walked into the kitchen and took a bottle of water out of the fridge.
„What's up Peyton?"
Peyton looked at him in disbelief. „Well you're home, that's already something. Didn't you get my messages?"
„I did. But like I've told you before I left – I really needed some time alone."
„Okay, okay. Well would just please talk to me now?"
„What do you want me to say?"
Peyton took a few steps in his direction. „How did we get here? I feel like you're miles away from me."
„Since you haven't noticed we've been miles away for years now."
„I know, and i've already told you i should've said yes..."
„It's not about that Peyton", he interruped her.
„Then just tell me what happened? How did we end up here? I mean, I've been trying to fix this, to fix us, but somehow you just won't let me.."
„Maybe it's because I don't want you to."
„You don't want me to...?" Peyton's eyes filled with tears.
„Peyton, I'm not saying this to hurt you, it's just - things change. I've changed. And right now, I can't pretend like nothing has happened. I mean, after everyhing, you can't honestly expect me to just go back to where we were years ago? Because I can't do that."
Peyton looked at him with big eyes. Not able to respond.
„I'm sorry." He left the kitchen to take a shower, while Peyton was trying her best to hide her tears.
When Lucas entered the bathroom he heard the front door closing.