Authors Note

Set during "A day in the life". AU after the meeting between Roslin and Adama where she gives him the book. Hope you like it.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters what-so-ever, so please don't sue. If you're still keen on suing me, then do it over the story that you think is the best. Leave me a little bit of ego as I go to prison.

William Adama settled comfortably behind his desk in his quarters. The lamp beside him gave off a faint glow which illuminated the many fuel reports, work schedules, and maps that littered the top of his desk. Bill sighed, pushing his glasses up his nose, and set to work signing orders. The only sounds in the room were the scratching of his pen repeatedly on the paper and his steady breathing as he pushed on through the files.

"Doing work, today of all days?"

Adama paused, his pen poised over a sheet. He had heard that voice so many times in his past, and today in particular, it haunted him. The voice didn't want to be here, he wanted it to be here. Bill couldn't let it go, didn't want to let it go. Resigning himself to an argument, he pulled his head up and looked warily over at the couch.

"Then again," The voice continued, strong and condescending, "you always did work on this day, even when I was alive."

His eyes travelled over the woman sitting before him. She was not real. Not really. It was his memories that placed her there, on his couch. Carolanne sat, a drink in her hand and a look of contempt on her face. Bill didn't reply, knowing that if he did it would only further her arguments and also, and it pained him to admit it, she was being honest. Brutal, but honest. Turning back to his reports, he pointedly ignored his ex wife, and carried on his work.

Carolanne pursed her lips, not liking his lack of response. When they were married, she'd purposely pull out all the stops to try and get a rise out him. He could be so infuriatingly calm. He didn't even bat an eyelid when she filed for divorce. It was one thing that annoyed her about the man, the way he knew never to argue with her, never to encourage a fight.

"How'd your meeting with Laura go?" she asked bluntly, taking a large sip of her drink, "bet you were eager to see her. She seemed pretty eager to see you."

"The meeting was fine." His tone indicated that he was in no mood to continue the conversation, but Carolanne paid no attention, purposely pushing to gain sense of her limits.

"I guess she's eager to see anyone though these days." She casually tossed the comment into the air, and was met with a stony silence. At first she thought that maybe he did not hear her, but a small snapping sound told her otherwise. Looking over in triumph, she saw Bill, eyes cold and face stoic, two halves of a pencil clutched in his white-knuckled grip.

"Laura is not a-" his calm voice was drowned out by pearls of laughter as Carolanne relaxed back on the couch.

"On first name basis are you Bill?" She asked slyly, getting up. She moved languidly towards Bill, who just watched her intently, wondering why she was so close. Draping her arms over his shoulder, she murmured in his ear.

"What are you thinking of?"

Bill paused as he considered her question. There were many thoughts running through his head, and he was having trouble focusing on just one. Carolanne seemed to be in his mind, silently regarding the scenes playing before her. Their wedding day, the birth of Lee, the birth of Zak, moving house, a red dress-

"Wait." She stated boldly. Moving around the front of the desk, she looked Bill straight in the eyes. Bill, in turn, stared defiantly back, shutting off all emotion as he regarded her.

"That last memory," Carolanne said, a trace of anger in her tone, "a red dress? Where from?"

Bill closed his eyes and the memories came flooding back to him.

Carolanne and Bill were standing just outside a tent, a light wind gently lapping over them and tugging at their hair and clothes. Ignoring the dust that it was pulling up, Bill moved forward, his ex wife following behind.

They came to the end of the rows of tents and while Carolanne looked around confused, Bill's eyes were set on the small stretch in front of him. Sensing his intense gaze, Carolanne followed his line of sight and saw a man, his feet immersed in the sand in front. His greying hair was slowly being tugged by the wind and a moustache graced his upper lip. He seemed to be deep in thought, looking outwards over the barren land before him.

"The sand Bill? Really?" Bill just smiled and placed his finger to his lips, indicating that they should keep watching. A woman slowly appeared, gracefully walking right through them. Her dress was a bright red, reflecting the festivities of the day. A smile appeared on her face as she noticed the sitting man and she quickly made her way over.

"Didn't expect to find you playing in the sand." Her voice was soft, but it carried far, both Bill and Carolanne hearing what she was saying clearly. Carolanne opened her mouth questioningly, but closed it quickly as Bill seemed to be focused on the scene before him.

"It's not sand," The man stated, slightly surprised at the woman's presence, "its alluvial deposits. This used to be a river mouth."

"And you just had to take your shoes off and play in the alluvial deposits. How romantic." She replied. She was jesting, he knew, as the serene smile had not disappeared from her face. Taking a seat beside him, the woman looked out over the land much the same as he did. The man took the time she was distracted to look over her, appreciating her figure and beauty.

"That's a nice colour on you." He stated simply, breaking the small silence. She smiled in response, saying a soft "thankyou" before returning her attention back to the land.

"It's good to see you Laura." The man said, turning his head slightly to regard her.

"You too Bill." She replied, smiling even more brightly, her head turned towards him also.

"Eugh." Carolanne stated, regarding the scene before her with contempt. He couldn't really be buying this crap could he? she thought, looking at her ex husband. Although now lacking the moustache, Bill had the same smile as the man in the memory before them. One of complete serenity and calm. Carolanne was sickened at the smile. He had never once in their marriage smiled like that when he was with her. She had thought that they really had something, but in comparison to the scene she just had to endure, their time together amounted to nothing. Decisively, she tugged at his arm and pulled him out of the memory.

She walked around away from him, back towards the couch, anger emanating from every pore. Bill knew better than to open his mouth, instead just regarding the woman before him. She was the one who wanted to see, but the truth hurt, that he knew.

"Pathetic." Carolanne spat out, picking up her drink and letting it all slide seamlessly down her throat. She pushed the glass back down onto the table in front of her, breathing heavily. Bill continued to regard her, still seated behind his desk. At the word 'pathetic' however, his eyes hardened considerably behind his glasses.

"You treat her with such grace. If only anyone knew, the brilliant William Adama, the failing husband and absent father, could be so emotive towards someone! You can't even tell your own son how much you love him, and yet you can meet some tramp in a corridor and follow her like a lost puppy! Pathetic!"

"That's enough Carolanne." Bill stated, his teeth gritted in anger.

In reply, she snorted, her laughter echoing around his quarters, "Oh Bill, please! You defend her! You never defended me Bill, your own wife! I was called every name under the sun and you just sat there! High and mighty, secure in the knowledge that you could get away from me as soon as possible! We were together for years Bill! Years! And then this woman comes along, and one year later, you're besotted! Did I really mean nothing to you!?"

"I said that's enough!" Bill barked. He stood up so quickly that his chair fell to the floor with a clatter. He rested his hands on the desk, supporting himself and was breathing heavily. He had never been so angry in his life. He was sick and tired of the arguments, the screaming, the blame.

"You still wear your ring Bill," Carolanne said triumphantly, pointing at his wedding ring on his left hand, "that's something. She'll never have you Bill. You'll always belong to me!"

He wasn't thinking properly, his mind too caught up in the moment to realise what he was doing. Before he knew it, he felt himself tug the wedding ring off of his finger and watched in awe as it went flying across the room, hitting the metal hatch to the corridor outside with a loud clang. It bounced off and clattered to the floor, rolling out of sight. Carolanne turned towards him in shock, registering what had just happened. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He didn't know what to say. Something had possessed him to lob his ring, his sign of commitment across the room.

A knock on the hatch brought him out of his reverie.

"Enter." He ordered gruffly, quickly picking up the chair from behind his desk and tucking it in. Bill didn't want the person who entered to see what had transpired just moments ago.

"Admiral? Are you okay? I heard shouting." Laura Roslin entered warily, closing the hatch behind her.

Bill shook his head, sighing. Looking around, he noticed that Carolanne had vanished. He took his glasses of quickly and pinched the bridge of his nose, "I can see why Baltar has an invisible friend. So easy to take out stress on."

Laura laughed at his attempt of humour, wrapping her arms around her midriff.

"Here I was thinking you were OBE." She stated, amused. Bill smiled, remembering their conversation from that morning. Indicating for her to have a seat on the couch, he moved away to pour her a glass of ambrosia.

"Bill?" Her voice called out, echoing around his quarters. Bill stuck his head out so he had a clear view of Laura. She was holding something up between her forefinger and thumb. Taking a closer look, he realised that it was his wedding ring. Laura looked at him questioningly, her hair falling gracefully over her shoulders.

Bill looked slightly embarrassed, wondering what on earth to tell her. He decided to remain silent, handing her a glass politely and sitting down next to her. Laura, however, was not going to let it go. Maybe the reason he threw the ring would explain to her why he was in an odd mood today.

"What's wrong Bill? You've been acting weird all day." He regarded her over the top of his own glass, calculating a response in his head. She was patient, and sat silently, waiting for him to say something. Bill decided to be completely honest with her.

"It was my wedding anniversary," He said simply, gauging her reaction, "to Carolanne."

"Lee's mother," Laura nodded knowingly, smiling, "well that certainly explains it."

"Explains what?" He asked, intrigued. He had a feeling that she wasn't just talking about it explaining his mood. In answer, she handed him back his ring.

"It explains why you still wear the ring. You still celebrate the anniversary. You're obviously not over her Bill."

Bill could have laughed at her statement. Laura couldn't be more wrong. He decided to tell her so.

"Nah, I'm over her," Was that a flicker of hope in her eyes? "I just need to keep remembering it. She died on Caprica. We divorced because I was never there. I couldn't give her the husband she wanted, and I couldn't be the father that Lee and Zak deserved. It's guilt that keeps me linked to this day."

Laura moved slightly closer, her hand resting lightly on his arm in comfort. Bill drew solace from her gesture, looking intently into her eyes.

"You're not over me!"

Bill sighed. Carolanne was looming over him in anger, glaring down at him and Laura.

"I'm over her." He stated, and felt a sudden weight lift from him. Laura smiled wider, nodding. Carolanne radiated fury, following him as he slowly got off of the couch and moved towards his chest of drawers. He proceeded to open the drawer containing their wedding photo.

"Don't do it Bill." Carolanne warned him, standing behind her ex husband.

"Goodbye Carolanne." He whispered, placing the wedding ring in the drawer. She moved closer, urgently.

"Don't do this Bill. Don't." Her whispers were frantic but slowly faded away as the drawer slammed shut with resolve. Returning to his seat on the couch, he noticed Laura was looking happier than he had seen her in a while.

"What?" he asked her, amused. She just shook her head, smiling, and relaxed back onto the couch.

"Did you have something with her?" Laura asked quietly, looking at Bill. She was looking for an honest answer, wanting to know what had conspired between the two, and what had caused him to wear the guilt for so long.

"Yeah we had something. Something good."

"But now?"

"Now," Bill said slowly, looking over at Laura, "I have something even better."

Laura smiled widely in return, offering her glass up in a toast.

"To something better." She said softly, as he knocked his glass against hers.

"To something better." He echoed, taking a sip of his drink. He closed his eyes slowly, revelling in the present. Who needed memories of the past when he had what he had now?

"Bill," Laura said quietly, a trace of humour in her voice, "about that night on New Caprica …"

A/N

Reviews are welcome.