A/N Well this is my first Grey's fanfic I've written so forgive me if it's not perfect. But hey, no one's perfect right? I wrote this story on and off for a few years. I obviously started it during season four, when this story takes place. It takes place when Derek begins seeing Rose. This is my take on what should have happened. Well, at the time anyways. I was a crazed Mer/Der fan and now I'm actually a big Addek fan (even though Addison isn't even on Grey's anymore..) but I threw her in this a little. Anyways, I'm rambling. Just read. =]

PS I own nothing.

Hell or High Water

You believe that a true love is blind so you fool every new love you find. You've got stars in your eyes but they can't hide the lies. Oh, I can't get you off my mind.

P R O L O G U E

"I just stood there like an idiot," Meredith said quietly with a laugh. "He said things to me. Wonderful things. Telling me how he wanted to live to be a hundred and die in my arms. And I just stood there like an idiot."

Cristina grabbed the glass of rum and coke and pulled it to her lips, taking a sip. "And what did you want to say? That you wanted those things too? Come on, Meredith. We all know you don't."

Meredith shrugged slightly. "Maybe I do. I don't know anymore." She sighed heavily. "But it doesn't matter. Because he doesn't want me. He wants Rose."

A sour expression twisted on Cristina's face. "Rose. What the hell kind of name is that anyways? What's with naming kids after things? I mean like there's Rose, Daisy, April, May…"

"There was Wednesday from the Adams Family," Meredith added. "If we're going with the themes of days and months."

"Brandy," Izzie put in, grabbing a bar stool and pulling it between the two newly appointed residents.

Cristina pointed her finger at Izzie. "That's a good one."

"No," Izzie declined and rested her elbows on the bar looking around. "I want a brandy. Where's Joe?"

"He was here…" Meredith trailed off, joining Izzie in looking around for Joe. "Maybe he had to pee. Anyways, can we get back to my problem?"

From behind them, the girls heard a groan. "You women and your problems. All you ever do is bitch and moan. Can't you for once just be happy?"

Izzie rolled her eyes. "Alex, shut up. You wouldn't understand. You don't have a soul."

Alex took a step back, pretending to be offended. "Ouch. Hey, at least I wasn't the one who slept with my best friend who was married."

"Oh my God, he's here." Meredith stated loudly and everyone looked at her.

"Who, George?" Izzie said, looking around and completely ignoring the fact that Alex had insulted her.

"No," Meredith replied and glared over Alex's head. "Derek. With his Ms. Perfect New Girlfriend. Or whatever the hell she is. I don't even know if they're dating or it was just a one time kiss thing."

Alex rolled his eyes, taking a seat next to Meredith. "Can we for once not talk about McSteamy? You need to find someone else to whine about. It's really getting old."

"McDreamy," Cristina corrected him. "And ya know what, I think Alex is right. For once. You really do need to find somebody else, Mer."

Meredith placed her elbow on the counter and her hand to her cheek, cradling her head. She looked over to Derek, who was now laughing with his stupid nurse girlfriend, or whatever the hell she was.

Alex and Cristina's words bounced off the walls in her head as she toyed with them. Somebody else. Not Derek. No, she had to admit that it wasn't working well with Derek. But that was partially her fault too. She couldn't imagine herself with anybody else. But then again, could she even see herself with Derek?

She sighed again. He was her McDreamy. Her Derek.