Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride. Do you?
A/N: This chapter, luckily for you guys, is the chapter where I get to show you one of the downsides of Fang's new book four power. Inspiration for this one comes partially from Awkward Zombie's third comic, "Visibly Stupid." The other part comes from how ridiculous I thought the fourth book was.
Chapter the First; In Which Fang Loses Himself
Fang inhaled deeply, taking in the scent of Max's shampoo. He sighed luxuriously, and then pressed his lips to the object of his affection. This, of course, meant that he ended up with shampoo all over his lips.
Panicking, he rushed to turn on the shower, keeping his lips firmly pressed together in order to prevent the shampoo from entering his mouth. Fang stuck his head under the now-running water. He rubbed the shampoo away and spit vehemently down the drain. As good as Max's new fruity shampoo might smell, he was fairly certain it would taste horrible, and he wasn't actually all that willing to try it, either, as he'd probably have to call Poison Control afterward or something.
He turned off the shower because the Flock loved saving the world one gallon of conserved water at time (which related to global warming and mad science somehow, but that was Max's job to figure out) and he then exited the bathroom. Outside, a line had formed. The Gasman, although behind Max, cackled insanely and dived into the bathroom, rendering it utterly unusable for the rest of the week.
"Wow, Fang!" exclaimed Nudge. "I heard the shower turn on, and then turn off almost immediately! You sure are good at saving water!"
Fang winced. Of course; now they thought he had taken a shower.
"Why are your clothes so wet?" Max asked, as if questioning his sanity.
Nudge formulated a vaguely creditable theory instantly. "You took a shower with your clothes on, didn't you? That's, like, so smart of you! Now you, like, won't have to wash them in a washing machine, which saves even more water!"
"Er… yeah," Fang said eloquently.
Max sniffed the air. "You used my shampoo, didn't you?"
"Sorry," Fang mumbled, but she didn't seem to hear him.
"That is so sexy."
Fang stared at Max in alarm. He could've dealt with her being angry, and he was obviously sexy, especially with his shirt soaked through and his wet hair thrown to the side, but he wasn't sure he could deal with Max calling him "sexy."
"What?" he asked blankly, summing up his thoughts perfectly.
She didn't answer, but instead threw herself at him, pinning him against the wall. Fang struggled to free himself, but failed miserably. Max began kissing him passionately, holding his head firmly in place and forcing his mouth open.
"That's it, Max!" Nudge cheered. "If you drink Fang's saliva, you won't be as thirsty, and we can save even more water!"
Unable to move, Fang began to blend in with his surroundings. Eventually, he was completely invisible. Max backed away, puzzled and horrified.
"Fang?" she called, but he wisely chose not to move.
"AHA!" he shouted, "You'll never find me now!"
It was true. Max couldn't find him, despite the fact that he was shouting and standing directly in front of her.
Suddenly, Fang began to feel disconcerted. It was a good thing that Max couldn't find him, but what if he couldn't find himself? What if he lost himself, and never found himself again? What if he already had?
"Where am I?" he shrieked, panicking profusely. "I can't see myself! Somebody help!"
The Flock could not find him, and so he remained standing against the wall, lost, for the rest of his days. New powers could be tricky.
A/N: I have no idea who the next chapter will focus on. Except I know that it won't be Fang, 'cause I just used him, and it can't very well be Max, because she didn't get a new power. Anyways, review to tell me what you thought and to inform me of who you think the next chapter should be about. That doesn't mean that the next chapter will be about that person; it just helps me decide.
And yes, I will get to work on The Rebirth of Itex soon. Maybe.