Alone
No light. No hope. I live in this darkness alone. Why? Why must I be alone? Always, forever, my curse. Ever sense that day, this has been my curse to bear. But why? What did I do to deserve this? What sin did I commit? I was young, weak, naive. Never did I kill, never did I lust. Could it be, that this happen because I couldn't help my mother? I tried didn't I? But she was sick, and so was I. their wasn't much I could do. Oh, Why didn't I die with her? Why did I continue living, as this . . . this thing? This monster. Why did he change me? Why don't I hate him for changing me? Is it because he is kind? Is it because he thought he was saving me? As a doctor saving people is his job. But why me? There were so many others sick and dieing. Why not my mother? He could have changed her.
But no, I wouldn't want her to become this. To suffer like this. But still I wish it had not been me. Death seems so sweet compared to living like this. Oh, how I long for it. How I wish to join my mother. I know it wont happen though. In this goddamn form I'm in, death is so difficult. My body won't break, won't suffocate. It can starve, but then I can't control myself. I've tried many times to starve this monster to death, but then humans pay the price for my weakness. How many have I killed? I don't want to think of it. I know there is another way to feed. But if possible I wish not to feed at all. My cravings for blood make me sick. This monster I have become repulses me. How I can't control it scares me.
Why would God allow such a monster to exist? Why dose he let us tarnish his world? Why won't he let me die? Why won't he let me loneliness end?