I had just gotten back together with Dexter and this time things were different. I wasn't the same hard-ass I used to be...not that I would ever admit that to him. Whether I liked it or not, Dexter broke down these walls inside of me that I never even knew could be touched. No, he didn't break them down...more like he demolished them in a Berlin-wall-type fashion. Despite my hard demeanor, Dexter done something to me...to the way I feel about love. He keeps telling me how I'm desperately in love with him (based on that one impulsive purchase of tupperware), despite how many times i tell him otherwise. I'm trying this new thing where I repeat something over and over in my head, and try to convince myself that it's true. It hasn't been successful so far.

Tonight I'm going down to Bendos to watch The Truth Squad perform their infamous potato opus among other songs that I don't really pay attention to ( mainly because when Dexter gets into his rockstar zone on stage, I can't take my eyes off him). God, look at me. I promised myself I would never let this happen. Here I am, getting all dolled up for a boy. I try to convince myself that I'm putting on makeup and this dress for me, but who am I kidding? This is Dexter's favorite dress. Dexter diminishes every rule I set for boys, but maybe that's just it. He's lanky and skinny and clumsy and arrogant and worst of all, a musician. But he's also genuine and loving and charming in a quirky way. I've never been one to give a boy my heart, its pointless if they're only going to break your heart in the end. But with Dexter, I feel safe. I have a week until I leave for California and I'm growing this urgent need to tell him how I feel before I leave. So, I get in my car and rehearse what I'm going to say on my way to Bendos.

When I arrive, I see Dexter over by the bar order a couple drinks. I assume one is for me, except the closer I get to him, the more I notice a petite brunette gawking all over him. He hands the drink to her and I start mentally kicking myself. How could I be so stupid? Of course this was going to happen sooner or later. How could I ever had thought Dexter was different in anyway. I can't believe I could have allowed myself to become so vulnerable. At the sight of her getting closer and closer to him, I filled with rage. Am I, Remy Starr, actually jealous? I couldn't handle it anymore, so I booked it out the door and sped down the street. I grabbed a diet coke at the QuickZip (my remedy to everything) and drove down to the open field. Laying on the roof of my car and looking out at the stars, everything seems to fall into perspective. I don't know how long it had been before I heard the wheels of a car pull up the field,

"Miss Remy Starr, I knew I would find you here. You missed a great rendition of the potato opus and John Miller attempting to crowd surf. 'Attempting' being the key word here. Anyways, where were you? I kept looking out into the crowd but I couldn't see you. Ahh, I see youre wearing that beautiful dress of yours"

I didn't say anything for a while. I was shocked he could act so nonchalant about this whole thing. All i wanted in that moment was to be left alone. Couldn't he get the hint?

I sighed and whispered, "I saw you with another girl."

"What are you talking about?"

"Nevermind Dexter, this whole thing was a mistake. Could you please just go?"

"Not until you tell me what you're talking about"

I sat up from the roof and stared him dead in the eye. I honestly looked confused. Boy, was he a good actor. "You and little miss brunette. You know what Dexter, I really don't even care. I'm going to be gone in a week and we probably won't ever talk to each other again. I'll just have to add you to my long list of ex boyfriends." I spat that out way too fast for it to be believeable. Still, Dexter looked hurt. He had this hopeless look in his eyes that made you want to hold him in your arms. But I wasn't about to let my guard down again. My walls were slowly beginning to build back up.

And just like that, Dexter broke them down again. "She's with the record label that The Truth Squad is trying to get signed to. I was going to introduce you to her, but you never showed. Remy, I would never hurt you like that. Do you even know how special you are to me? I may just be another boyfriend on your long list, but to me, you are not just another girl. You are the girl. I know how cynical you are about relationships and how you don't believe in love, but I'm determined to prove you wrong."

I hopped off the car and tried to keep myself from tearing up, crying is a sign of weakness. Dexter started moving closer to me and before I knew it, he had me in his strong embrace. I couldn't help but cry into his oversized band t-shirt. There goes my walls.

He whispered in my ear those three words that terrify me more than anything.

"Remy, I am completely in love with you. I am in love with your witty sarcasm and your tendency to be right about everything and your OCD when it comes to my room. I am absolutely, incredibly in love with you. And don't you dare forget it."

I automatically brought by lips to his. His lips were soft and so loving. It was the kind of kiss that made my head spin.

The rest of the night was spent looking at the stars and enveloping myself into Dexter. The way I layed on his chest and the gentleness in which he stroked my hair all convinced me more and more that I was in love with this clumsy, quirky, and loving boy. And once I admitted that to myself, I knew that I was all in- no going back.