Brilliance

Pairing: Haruka Tenou and Michiru Kaiou

AN: It made me tear up when I wrote this. It involves Usagi, so I created a whole new story instead of adding this to the drabble collection. Ugh.

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon!

Enjoy!

Her brilliance shatters every bit of your composure and throws you behind the silk curtains of your teal hair as you laugh. It forces the corner of your lips to climb upward, jerkily, and your gaze to go patronizingly gentle because there is no other way to handle her. No other way for you gaze upon the Moon princess without her noticing that you are so incredibly envious of her.

(That, and she can be so ridiculously naïve at times.)

You glance at your partner, trying not to let the stare linger for too long, and realise that she is giving the Moon princess one of her warmest smiles. Your heart aches and throbs with the comprehension that the smile (currently playing on familiar, cracked lips) is no longer yours to claim. But as you return your princess's wide-eyed stare, you can't help but fall back into the cave of your routine. You simply chuckle and pretend to know more than she does, because this air of mystery and maturity gives you an edge over her open, truthful heart. It is the pair of intangible and invisible stilettos that you wear every day- and sometimes you wear them to bed as Haruka talks to you about her insecurities.

You shake your head, give a playful statement, and pull Haruka away. Once you are safely out of sight from the princess, you release Haruka's hand, and slow down to a stroll. Haruka places an arm around your shoulders and pull you close. Only two people in the world possess that power over you. Haruka, for one, and your princess. Always able to push you away and pull you close- a puppeteer and her puppet; the moon and her tides. You're weak, you're desperate, and you can't help it.

It really is in your nature.

"What is it, Michiru?" Haruka's voice brings you out of your reverie.

You look up at her, and shrug, a coy smile dancing on your lips. "Ara?"

"Is something wrong? You've been acting strangely since we left."

"Should there be?" you joke- but even as your voice carries a lithe, teasing tone, you don't know how you want her to interpret it.

She avoids it with a chuckle (you find yourself a little disappointed with that response, or lack thereof), and gently guides you to the car. You notice, slightly abashed, that you have walked past the convertible that she owns.

"It's silly, Michiru," Haruka confides, in the safety of your bed.

"Should I be surprised?"

"No- really. It's quite silly but…" she buries her face the warmth of your chest. "I kinda miss our princess."

"Ah."

"I mean- her light is so comforting. I feel like I can trust her with this world, because I know she'll accept it and love it with all her heart."

Your heart, eyes and feet ache. You giggle and ruffle her hair, hugging her tighter- as though that might dispel the sudden emptiness in the heavy hollow of your chest.

You find yourself in a rather compromising situation with your princess. You have backed her up against a wall. It was an accident, but right after the shine of her transformation brooch catches your eye, it developed into something not quite so innocent.

It is quite obviously uncomfortable for her, as her bright blue eyes dart around your face, searching for a reason as to why you are doing this.

"M-M-M-M-Michiru-san!" she squeaks, face tinted with pink.

You lower yourself, and stare at her right in the eye. To your surprise, you find her staring right back. You resist the urge to soften your gaze. The unfamiliar curves of a smirk finds itself on your lips.

"Koneko-chan," you say, breathlessly, almost choking out Haruka's nickname for your princess.

One of your hands rest on the big bow of her uniform, while the other strokes her wrist. Usagi gives a shaky laugh, but makes no move to push you away. You wonder how lonely she must be, to allow you to continue with your advances. Letting your eyes dart to her lips, chapped and rosy, you lean in further.

"What is it about you that draws us to you?" you question softly, pressing yourself against her.

"I-I-I don't know-" she says, and her breath hitches.

You look into her eyes, and find that her gaze has never quite left your face. It is searching, and concerned, and slightly apprehensive. The warmth of her legs against yours sends a shiver up your spine. You're not quite cheating now, are you? She gasps, and blinks away the shock. You are so close, so close to her- in fivefourthreetwo-

You kiss her.

Inexperience (or astonishment?) reveals itself within a couple of seconds into the kiss, as she stays, unmoving. Her lips are warm, and even softer than they look. But when you release her, you find that- honestly- her gaze has never left your face. You giggle, the hand on her bow shifting up to her cheek, trailing down to her neck.

"What is it about your light that makes us all so loved?"

"I love all of you," she mutters, face flushed.

Even as your tap-dancing fingers continue their way down to the hems of her blouse, and up against the smooth surface of her stomach, her gaze never leaves you.

"Do you?" you ask, burying your face into the crook of her neck.

"I love all of you," she repeats her answer, firmly.

You are placing butterfly kisses onto her neck, when she asks- lightly, as though treading on dangerous ice and the tranquillity of the soundest slumbers-

"Are you jealous, Michiru-san?"

The question catches you by surprise- or rather, hurls you off your train of thought. You freeze, and then remove yourself from this strange entanglement of heated limbs. You chuckle, already slipping on those invisible stilettos. Her gaze is gentle and concerned, piercing through your façade. Your feet and eyes and heart and fingertips ache, burning with shame.

Instead of answering, you cup her cheek and kiss her brow, before turning to leave.

"Are you?" she appeals once more, the care and understanding in her voice further pricking at your eyes.

"Perhaps," you offer, and walk away without looking back.

For every single smile that Haruka has to offer to your princess, you counter it with a wry smile and a bitter, stinging sense of guilt and hurt that whirls in your heart. No matter how firmly you grab onto Haruka, you will always lose her to the dazzling brilliance of the Moon princess.

Your heart shatters as Haruka abandons you for those bright blue eyes, and you are left to pick up the pieces.

AN: the following is a RANT and includes some unhappiness so if you don't wanna read it, just skip! Reviews will be appreciated!

Because I feel so horrible- I mean, Haruka's admiration and loyalty towards Usagi is very 'awh'-ish, but I find it unfair to Michiru? Because her life already revolves around the Moon princess and her duty- and even Haruka is bounded to Usagi? And the manga- when Michiru's holding Haruka tight, Haruka speaks of how much she misses Usagi's light and I just ugh. It must be so heart wrenching for Michiru? I mean, I would feel really jealous and maybe even a little inferior because like- dammit, Usagi's the Moon Princess! I mean, even if it's a platonic sort of affection, it's also going to be quite terrible because the dedication oh god.

I mean, having your entire life dedicated/dominated by a figurehead (who gets more power-ups than you do) is already quite stifling? And the whole duty-so-I-can't-be-a-normal-kid thing? And now, the love of your life, too? Sure, Usagi was the reason they met and stayed together, but it's also quite depressing to exist merely because of her? I find it unfair D: I'm probably not making sense now BUT D:

(also unpopular opinion: I love Usagi because she's all-encompassing but I also dislike her because her kindness is a little nauseating and impractical? - call this me being jealous of her or whatever, but it's really martyr. Also she gets so much screen time I just *shows derpy ugh face* I mean, the whole show is hers, yes, but it can get irritating after a while. And by a while, I mean 200 episodes.)