Why can't it be perfect?
She watched the world from a distance. Inside the safety of her room, she saw her classmates mingle about joking around with each other. She saw her, she saw him. Both of them walked past the crowd of novices heading back to their classes.
Rose turned away from the window and into the chest of the only one who had been more than eager to stay with her. He held her gently, pressing his face into to hair to hide his smirk.
This love's not even real
His tousled brown hair had nothing on the soft locks. Emerald green eyes a sad replacement of the chocolate brown ones she was so used to. Rose's heart sank deeper, the guilt of it all creeping into her.
Why don't I cry for you?
She swallowed back her heartbreak because she was doing what was right. Dhampirs weren't supposed to be together. A job of a Dhampir was to protect the Moroi and to help bring the next generation of Dhampirs into this world. It was the duty of the Dhampirs…
Love was gone from the start
She didn't really care. Adrian was her charge, her focus, her life. There was no need for distractions. Holding onto that, Rose was able to drag herself back from Adrian's arms. She leaned towards his mouth, and pressed forward.
His lips were soft, inviting, and warm; still nothing like Dimitri's rough, sweet lips. Rose shook her head and pushed Adrian down. His hands would make her forget. They would keep her mind busy with pleasure rather than the pain it wished to dwell on.
I don't want you
I don't need you
I'll forget you
It was brighter when she woke up. Her body was sore from recent activities, but it was fine. She sighed softly breathing in the scent of vodka rather than the familiar after shave she missed so much. Somewhere in her room were her clothes, tossed about without care.
Rose finally decided that after ten minutes of tracing patterns across Adrian's pale flesh it was time to get ready. She couldn't avoid classes anymore.
Adrian groaned to life, head still fuzzy, and pushed off the bed to catch Rose around the waist.
"Little Dhampir, you wouldn't possibly need any help in the shower would you?" His mouth lifted into a cheeky grin. He picked her up, still holding her gently and walked into the bathroom with her.
It doesn't matter
School held no interest for Rose. Lissa happily chattered like always, not one person was able to see through Rose's façade. It was working. Stan began lecturing on the proper form of how to take down your opponent when they came in.
Tasha and Dimitri walked into the room beyond happy. Stan told the class that they would be taking over for the remainder of the period.
I'll play along
Writing our song
We are perfect
It was magical watching Dimitri strike at the air; Rose was caught in awe. She was caught between the pain of seeing Dimitri and the beauty that was Dimitri. He was a god come to earth. He had trained her and she fell for him; how could she not?
I love you
Adrian proved to be an excellent distraction outside of classes. He kept her mouth busy, her fingers working, and her mind running. Rose felt like disgusting betraying Dimitri in the way that she was, but it didn't matter. She needed this.
Dimitri was there again and again. He stayed near her, fighting for her attention. It was getting worse; the longing for him she had fought off so efficiently.
No, this is all wrong Happy
Why aren't you gone
I know you're not that strong
Don't listen to me
We'll always be so perfectly
He had believed her, so why was he questioning here now? Why was he pushing past her barriers, her walls, her blockades that she had worked so hard to put up? Dimitri was destroying everything Rose had done to protect them; herself… from the pain.
She slumped against Adrian defeated from the day. Adrian sat on the window seat at the library, casually sipping away at his scotch while flipping through a travel catalogue. Rose felt her arm lift, her hand drift to his shirt, her lips part and seek out his. She needed this comfort.
The lies you succumb to
Blissfully unaware
I don't know how you can't
See through my façade
Adrian let bottle slip to the floor, its contents escaping; the magazine joined it. He lifted her up to straddle his lap. Tears escaped Rose's eyes like the liquor from the bottle. It was messy, a clash of lips and teeth, desperate for something but never finding what it truly needed.
She couldn't help the sobs that soon followed. She knew Adrian was staring at her; she knew that this wasn't supposed to happen. Rose had to forget Dimitri.
I don't want you
I don't need you
I'll forget youAdrian carried her back to his room; a mistake. He held her gently hoping that she would stop crying.
It doesn't matter
Rose let him comfort her. She was using him. In her mind it wasn't Adrian's hands caressing her face, it was Dimitri's. His breath fanned her face, his lips pressed against her temple; but it was her hands that shakily undid his pants and kissed his neck.
Dimitri was with her, not Adrian; because she was that weak. She was weak and she was going to use Adrian.
I'll play along I love you
Writing our song
We are perfect
The crying didn't stop. When Adrian fell asleep, Rose continued on. Her eyes were sore and puffy, red and swollen. She watched the sun go down wrapped in her arms, her knees giving her an ounce of comfort by her chin.
Just outside the window she could make out Dimitri and Tasha walking by.
No, this is all wrong Happy
Why aren't you gone
I know you're not that strong
Don't listen to me
We'll always be so perfectly
A sick smile spread across Rose's mouth. The tears had stopped, the crying turned to sniffles; a huge weight had been lifted off of her chest. She regretted what she had done, but it was worth it. It was worth the pain.
And maybe one day I'll
Get to see your smile
In the arms of someone
who loves you like I do
He was smiling. And that's all that mattered.
No, this is all wrong Happy...
Why aren't you gone
I know you're not that strong
Don't listen to me
We'll always be so perfectly
Author's Note:
Okay, so this was extremely sucky.
Flying Home will be up soon; apologies.
This song is by Luka Megurine. I hope you enjoyed it.
-Lolita