Response to MsPercival's challenge to use the words 'toothsome', 'boar', and 'porridge' with one person cooking for another. It went off on a tangent...
A Change in Cuisine
"I'm just saying, Martin," Louisa stood her ground, never once looking away from his face. "After a while fish just gets boring!"
"Nutritionally speaking, it's far better for you than that repulsive porridge you make when you are in a rush." Like the skilled surgeon he was, Martin made short work of filleting the day's catch he had purchased earlier. "And it tastes better, more toothsome, with a side of blanched green b..."
"Martin!" Louisa snapped. "Burt and Al are doing the whole Hawaiian themed luau, right down to a roasted pig on a spit, slowly rotated over hot rocks, marinated in pineapple juice, on the beach. It would be a wonderful change!"
"It's a boar, I saw it earlier. And there is no telling how many health regulations are being violated, not to mention the wholly unsanitary conditions going on with an open pit fire."
"So what if it's a boar? It's a luau and a chance for us to mingle with people and eat something different for a change. They're even offering Rocky Mountain Oysters."
"Hence the boar." Martin said flatly, carefully disposing of the fish skin. He looked severely at his exasperated wife. "Please tell me Louisa that you do know what those are."
The briefest flash of uncertainty flickered across her eyes. With a slight toss of her pony tail she looked challengingly at him.
Martin sighed, aggrieved. "We sell them here in the UK pickled in vinegar and beet juice. They..." he shuddered. "Americans. Pound them flat, bread them, and deep fry them. Adding even more to their cholesterol levels."
"Martin!" Louisa snapped, "What the hell are you on about now?!"
"Pig Testes!" He snapped back. "Those Rocky Mountain Oysters you seem to be so keen on. You are much better off eating the fish, with a side of vegetables and Mineral water. At least you'd be getting yourself a far more balanced... "
Horror flicked across Louisa's brown eyes, quickly replaced by a macabre fascination. "Really?" She suddenly made a decision, turning to snatch up her handbag.
"Where are you going?" Martin demanded as she headed for the kitchen door.
"I'm going to Burt's luau! I think some barbecued, pineapple soaked, boar sounds a whole lot more toothsome than fish for dinner tonight! And who knows?" she said, pony tail swinging in emphasis. "I may even try those Rocky Mountain Oysters!"
Martin was left standing in his kitchen, basting brush in one hand and marinade bowl in the other. He gawped like a landed fish. After a moment, he shut his mouth and sighed. "Nutritionally speaking they are rather well supplied in several vitamins and hormones..."