"It's okay, Anna, I've got you," Said six-year-old Elsa. She rocked her baby sister in her arms.

"Elsa! What have you done?" Demanded the king as he burst into the room.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa…" Said a voice, "You need to learn how to relax."

The king turned, protectively shielding his daughters and wife, "Who… who are you?"

A dark figure stepped out of the shadows, narrow eyes gleaming.

"Maleficient!" Yelped the king, "Guards!"

"Oh, there's no need for that," She said tiredly, "Besides which, like Elsa I have almost god-like powers."

"But, you're evil!"

"Ha!" Bellowed the fairy, "That's just a misinterpretation by a phallic-obsessed society!"

"...you cursed a baby! A baby!" He insisted.

"I had a bad experience as a child. Fortunately, I have unstoppable magic powers!"

The king frowned, "That… makes no sense. I mean, magic always has a weakness…. Like true love?"

"I am now the one who understands true love, not some man!" She smirked.

"This… is insanity. It makes no sense at all."

"What you're doing to that poor girl makes no sense at all," Crooned the dark queen, "I mean, really, who yells at a sweet innocent girl having fun!"

"She almost killed her sister!"

"Ah! Almost! It doesn't count unless you actually finish the job! And I should know!"

The king frowned, "What are you talking about?"

Maleficient stepped forward, "By the powers vested in me by the women's right movement, the SAG, and the dark power of feminazism (not a word, by the way) I declared that you're not allowed to lock Elsa inside your home."

The king grunted in disbelief, "How come you can just dictate how someone else can raise their family?!"

"Ha! That shows what you know! I had a bad experience with men. It doesn't matter that I cursed a little girl, inflicted a decade of suffering on a trio of my own people, stalked a girl, drove her father mad, and caused a young mother to die without seeing her daughter! What matters is that men have no idea how to deal with women!"

The king sighed, "That's insane!"

"Bah!" Answered the witch, "I'll show you!"

"Soooo… what's your plan?"

Maleficient smiled, "Well, well… Open up the gates. Everything'll be fine!"

Three years later.

"I wanna build a snowman!" Elsa crowed, blasting ice everywhere, "Anna?"

Anna wasn't moving.

"No! I've got you, Anna. It's going to be okay!"

The door burst open, "Oh man!" The king strode over picking up Anna, "not again!"

"Is she gonna be okay?"

"Uh…." The king lied, "Suuuure… she'll be back in a week, just like always."

"Wait a minute," Said Elsa, "…something's different with Anna…."

The door burst open as Anna came in, then turned back around and left.

"Who's that?!"

"Anna?"

"So who're you holding?"

"Oh, him?"

"HIM!?"

"Well, sweetie, you're technically really, really dangerous, so we pay people to pretend to be Anna. This is the thirteenth one you've killed. Don't worry; the important thing is that you've plenty of social interaction with others!"

"But… isn't it unethical to do that?"

"Kill children? Apparently not, according to Maleficient."

"Maleficient is a bad guy!" Elsa exclaimed.

Her father shook his head, "No, no… apparently it was her ex-boyfriend who was the bad guy. He scarred her for life, so she overreacted. That's where bad people come from; traumatic childhood events."

"So, King Stefan came from…?"

"He had a bad experience because he was poor, and the king promised to give whomever killed Maleficient would be the next king."

"Then the king was a bad guy?"

"Until we find out his childhood trauma, yes."

Elsa bowed her head in confusion, "Who's that then?"

"Hans, something, does it matter?"

"Well, he's a child, doesn't this count as trauma?"

"…whaaa-aaa-aaat? No. NOooooOO! Okay, maybe… I mean, he was forced to wear a dress, and hang out with a girl he can barely stand-"

"What?!"

"And now he's been iced. So, yeah, he'll be the villain, I guess."

"But by that logic, he's not really bad; he's just got a childhood trauma that excuses him from taking responsibility for his actions!" Elsa rubbed her temples, "Imagine if I did something really, really horrible; not freezing someone but everyone. What if the whole kingdom was frozen?! Shouldn't someone stop me?!"

"Yes, which is why we're loving you now, so you don't do that."

"…where's Mom?"

"Oh, yeah, she got frostbite a year ago and is now bedridden. You've killed about half the staff with your little 'accidents', but that's okay. You'll grow up well-adjusted! After all, it doesn't matter if you're dangerous, or scary, all that matters is that you feel good about yourself, and, eventually, if we just tolerate you, everything'll turn out okay!"

"No!" Yelled Elsa, "I don't want to hurt anyone! Simply ignoring how dangerous I am is stupid! Why didn't you isolate me from people I could kill?!"

"But then you wouldn't learn to control your powers!"

"And how have I learned?" She demanded, "Apparently I've killed off a baker's dozen-"

"Including our baker. Oh, Svetlana, I will miss your cookies-"

"You have a duty to defend those around you!" Exclaimed Elsa, "You can't just let me… pretend like everything's fine!"

The king shrugged, "I won't have people criticize me for locking you inside."

Elsa slapped her forehead, "I'm going to my room…"

"Wait," Said the king, "At least I'm not going to be blamed for this, am I?!"

And so it was that Elsa locked herself in her room, and it was all her parents' fault for pretending like she wasn't extremely dangerous, lying to her year after year after year.