Insoluble
Genres: Romance, Angst
Summary: "You're no good to me dead. You don't get to decide how and when you die." / Kaito x Nefelpitou
Warnings: Do not read if you have not read up to Ch 200+ in the manga. This story contains spoilers for the Chimera Ant Arc.
A/N: My first foray into writing for Hunter x Hunter, which I adore so dearly. Kaito x Nefelpitou isn't the weirdest thing I ship by half, but they're one of my favorite pairings, and I look forward to writing many more stories for this fandom. This is a bit of an alternate version of events that happen in Chapters 198, 199, and 200. Additional warnings for some dark themes, violence, and mild gore, but nothing worse than in the actual manga. This story assumes Fem!Nefelpitou (is it ever made clear one way or the other?) I hope you enjoy!
Note: As of 3/16, this story has been largely revised and features over 4k words of additional content, including a new ending.
Insoluble
She continued to watch him after Gon and Killua had run away, as the blood dripped in neat, even splatters from the end of his ruined arm. He clutched his staff in his left hand, the distended face of the Crazy Slot cackling to fill the silence.
"You're pretty strong, nyah." Her tail flicked from side to side, and she regarded him with a tilt of the head through too-wide eyes. The stare unnerved him almost as much as that monstrous aura did. "But from the way you're looking at me, I'd say you think I'm stronger."
She wasn't even in an offensive position anymore, like she had when she took his arm, crouched with hands extended. He was a little insulted she hadn't attacked him since.
"Why haven't you killed me yet?" he asked. Kaito was glad for it; every second bought him more time, but something from Podungo Lapoy and Spinner Clow's research on Chimera Ants kept climbing to the surface of his mind.
They're gluttonous. They take advantage of species with particularly strong genes by feeding on it over and over until it is driven to extinction. Their skills at adapting and improving are impressive. They take in new information and adapt it to their own survival and enhancement with blazing speed.
The way she watched him, like she was analyzing everything from the way his aura spiked when Crazy Slot drew number three to the rhythm of his breathing and the way he balanced his weight to dodge should she attack him head-on, made him worry. She learned more about him with every new calculation—information that put him at a disadvantage. Attacking her now would be folly, but if he wanted even a slim chance at success, their battle would have to recommence soon.
"You're what Koruto calls a rare breed." Her voice lingered over the last two words in a way that was entirely unpleasant. "The first one I met was a disappointment, nyah. But very informative."
Information about Nen, it had to be. Already, the raw unrefined power of hers was overwhelming, particularly when she focused it so completely on him. The thought was frightening, of how she could use it if she had full control. Kaito frowned.
"I won't—"
"I'm offering you a choice, human. You can die now, or you can die later." Her tail flicked again, faster, and Kaito could not help but notice she still had his blood on her hands. Her eyes glazed over a bit, like she was already imagining how it would happen, how much of a fight he would put up. He would try not to disappoint her there.
"My last subject was…less than willing," she continued. Her lips pursed, and for the first time her eyelids lowered to something scornful, blinking in rapid succession. "I gained information but not understanding."
"What do you need it for?" His skin was beginning to itch from being at attention for so long without actually engaging. He imagined he could feel it in both palms instead of just the one. "To kill more people?"
Her entire being seemed to brighten at the first question; she ignored the second. "To protect my King, of course."
"He's not my King." Kaito could feel death looming, the way her aura spiked at those words into something with grim intent. In a second, it receded back into a narrow point as she focused on him again, tilting her head as if she could see him clearer that way.
"No…" In a flash, she had disappeared, and he felt her strike him at the back of the neck. Black spots blossomed before his vision, and he felt more surprise than pain as he fell to his knees.
"…but for now, I am yours, human."
He saw her walk away from him to pick his severed arm off the ground, holding it out and studying it. His right shoulder twitched; the blood from the still-raw wound stained his shirt up to the collar. Some of it was surely getting in his hair. He managed to muster enough irritation for that as he climbed back to his feet.
She turned back towards him. "You'll still fight me, won't you?"
He gripped the handle of the Crazy Slot mace tighter. He would need to use it at least once before he could—
She reappeared behind him in a flash and he jumped, dodging her listless kick. Even that would probably have broken his back had it connected. He swung the mace, preparing to bring it down on her knee, but she pivoted away at the last second.
"If it's a fight you want, I'll give you that." He could barely stand, but he'd be damned if he'd make this easy for her.
He felt her fingertips on the edge of his good arm before he even saw her move. She touched the muscles and joints through his shirt, tearing the fabric with the edges of her claws. He tensed and swung the mace again. Crazy Slot cackled as it once again hit nothing but air.
"You're no good to me dead, nyah. You don't get to decide how and when you die." Her voice was too conversational, too matter-of-fact, and her free hand struck out again, striking him below his right shoulder. In an instant, his pain had dulled to nothing.
Reading that Chimera Ants learned quickly was nothing compared to seeing them in action. If she could deaden his muscles like that, she would aim for something more debilitating next. His neck, perhaps, or lower back. He couldn't let that happen.
He swung the mace down, preempting her next attack, striking the hand outstretched to pierce his spine. She hardly flinched, and the curious look on her face grew into one of satisfaction.
The attack put him at an awkward angle; he couldn't see her next assault, but he could feel it as she struck his neck again. His head tipped back as his body fell forward, and she caught him with little difficulty, wrenching a hold of his good arm to haul his body over one slim shoulder.
"I think I hit you too hard, nyah. I guess I am strong." She sounded very pleased.
His last thought before his eyes closed was that this would be a tremendous opportunity to observe a Chimera Ant up close…at least as long as it lasted.
He awoke in a nest of sorts made of pillows. It was unusually cold in the room—he guessed immediately that they were probably underground—and as he cracked open an eye the Chimera Ant was not in sight.
He could still feel her aura, and estimated that she was somewhere in the room behind him. With some effort—his body still felt like lead, and even the smallest movement only worsened his headache—he heaved his body over to see her perched on a fuchsia-colored pillow, knees drawn up to her chest.
"You're awake, nyah." The swishing of her tail was different. More excited, less threatening. It was an easy way to read her moods, if he couldn't do that easily enough just from her aura. Her face, however, registered just the barest hint of anticipation.
He tried to sit up, and regretted it. The dizziness was worse than any pain; with it came nausea, and then panic, as he realized how much blood he'd lost and how he'd yet to replace any of it. He could see just the edge of his shoulder without moving his head, and frowned. There was something odd about it—
Immediately, he realized that his arm, his right arm, was back in its proper place snugly fitted against his glenohumeral joint. He stared at it for a moment before glancing back at her, and tested his hand to make sure it still worked, touching his thumb to each finger in turn. There was no pain.
"Do you like it?" she said. "I did it for you."
He reached his other hand to pull back the torn edge of his sleeve, grimacing at the ragged scar that worked its way around his shoulder. The surgery was not done delicately.
"And not only that." In a flash she'd appeared by his side, and brought her fingertips first to the scar on his shoulder before moving them to touch the side of his neck. "You live because of me, human."
He reached questing fingers to his neck to feel a nearly identical but much thinner scar at the base of his neck. He followed its path around his throat, eyes widening. It stopped just below his ear. Had she almost…?
"What technique could do this?" He hadn't even realized he'd spoken out loud until she answered.
"My Doctor Blythe…I wished to heal you, so I created a technique just for that purpose." As she spoke, a bulging creature appeared behind her, growing from her tail. Each of its dozens of spindly arms housed a different surgical instrument at the tips of its fingers, clacking away as the steel rubbed against one another. It disappeared as soon as she had summoned it, but she continued to look at him with that same curious stare.
"I wish you'd been awake for it. I wasn't sure I was doing it right at first. But then I felt your Nen, and I knew I would succeed."
The fact that she could treat something so serious with such flippancy both impressed and amazed him. "You…why?"
"Because you're going to teach me about Nen," she told him. "I would say I have little use for something a human can teach me, but for you I'll make an exception."
"And afterwards you'll kill me." He said it humorlessly, and even though he allowed his body to relax back against the pillows, he was still ready to summon Crazy Slot at half a moment's notice. "I'm inside the Chimera nest, aren't I?"
"You are. So don't even think about trying to escape, nyah." Her lips curved up in a smile as she told him, but something about the way she said it made him pause.
"And do any of them even know I'm here?" he asked. Her expression turned sour. "I didn't think so. You're taking a big risk, Ant. Why?"
"It's Nefelpitou." She tossed her head back, staring at him with those luminous, too-wide eyes. "You are to call me that, human."
He snorted. "Then you'll afford me the same courtesy, Nefelpitou, and call me Kaito." Perhaps if she knew his name, she'd be less likely to kill him. Couldn't hurt his chances.
"Kaito." She accentuated the first syllable, and leaned forward to rest her hands on her knees. "I need to know more. You will teach me something. Now."
It was entirely selfish, and he knew full well he should've just embraced death and told this Ant where she could take her Nen lessons, but the chance to observe a creature not just of her species, but of her caliber, was too tempting to resist.
So he taught her about Zetsu. She couldn't harm anyone with Zetsu. He would die before he taught her about Ten or Ren—they were concepts he had to try to forget even existed, no matter how useless the effort—before the guilt struck up again at the thought that he could, willingly or through force, tell her about something that would help her defeat Gon and Killua.
"I see," she said, when he was finished. "You should utilize this technique here. Most of the Ants are not sensitive to Nen, but there are a few who might be able to sense you. When the other Royal Guards are born, you will be unable to mask your presence in any other way."
He shot her a dark look, frowning. "Were you listening to a word I just said? Zetsu makes you invisible, but vulnerable. I will not be stupid enough to lower my defenses around you."
She tilted her head, observing him with a shrewd grin. "So you would have me practice such a technique in your presence?" Her tail swished, the motion more eager than angry. "Such a clever strategy. You would be rid of me so quickly?"
Her laugh was harsher than he thought it would be, and it was entirely too approving for his tastes. "I would not kill you in such a way." She had lowered her voice, as if they were speaking in confidence. "A strong opponent should be killed in battle, not in their bed."
He wasn't comforted. "We are still enemies, Nefelpitou."
"And you weren't listening to me when I told you that you're no good to me dead." She rose to her feet in a single motion; Kaito found it unexpectedly graceful. "Your human body needs rest. I will return later."
She paused by the door. "I do not need to remind you what would happen should you leave this room."
He had already made his decision. "No. You don't."
"Good." And she left.
He searched every corner of the room—the walls were unnaturally smooth, too smooth to climb, and the only light came filtered from somewhere high up in the deep, pitted ceiling. There was nothing of Nefelpitou's save the pillows and a soft, knitted scarf he remembered her wearing when she'd fought him, fastened around her waist with a rosette pin. He wrapped it around his right arm; the room was cold, and in place of his sleeve he could use it to keep warm.
"My human body needs rest, my ass." And although Zetsu would allow him to recover his Nen faster, he refused to give her the opportunity. He wouldn't let this be the capstone on the long list of stupid decisions he'd made that day.
He held out as long as he could, and when he eventually fell asleep, it wasn't with his blessing.
He awoke to the feeling of Nefelpitou's aura, covering the room like a blanket. Even after she had left, he had still been able to sense its presence. He wondered at the true extent of her En.
She sat just out of reach on the floor, her claws kneading a pillow. She didn't acknowledge him, just worked her hands up and down, shredding the fabric and stuffing into little pieces. It was one of the uglier colors, a dull yellow. There were places where it was stained with dried blood. He wondered if it was his.
"…Nefelpitou?"
She looked up, her concentration shattered just like that, the pilllow forgotten. "I wish I could fight with you again. Are you well enough?"
He straightened, taking stock of his condition. He could fight, but he would lose. It was easier than he thought it would be to admit it to himself. "I am at your command." It sounded like something she would like to hear.
"But you should not leave this room, nyah." She looked sad. "They would not understand why I have kept you."
Kaito didn't understand it himself. "Tell me why."
She didn't seem to recognize that he had phrased it as an order, instead of a query. "You are so unlike the other humans I have met. Your aura is different. Stronger. Your mind is different. Stronger. I find myself fascinated by you. You should not have been born a human. It's such a waste. You could be so much more."
She turned on him then, all but pouncing to rest her hands against his right shoulder, pushing him back into the pillows. "Why don't you join our side? Fight with us, and you will have a place of honor amongst the Ants."
"No." Not that he would have believed her. The rest of the Ants were not like her—they would not accept a human so readily in their midst. The thought gave him pause—was it because she was more human than Ant that she could…tolerate him? What would she have been like, as a human?
Such thoughts were too dangerous, especially as she leaned closer, her excitement at her idea colored by disappointment at his response.
"I would not harm my own kind," he continued. "You can do what you want with me, but I will not bend."
"I could order you." Her tail began to swish again, faster. "I could make you."
He didn't want to ask her how. On this, he didn't doubt her. "But it wouldn't be me, would it? If you just wanted a puppet, there are thousands you could choose from. Take your pick." He met her level gaze.
The tail stopped. "I didn't think of that," she said. "I agree, it would be far more fulfilling to see you fighting alongside me of your own free will."
He faltered. "T-That wasn't what I meant."
"No? I would have you join me openly, Kaito." She regarded him again with a tilt of her head, ears twitching. "Or would you have me be more like you, more like a human? Nyah, you really are clever."
"That wasn't what I meant, either." It came out more as a huff.
"Then what did you mean?" She laughed again. "You humans. You confuse yourselves! It amuses me."
"I'm glad I could entertain you." He said it flatly. "What do you want me to do next, dance for you?"
Her ears swiveled up. "Dancing? What's that?"
Kaito couldn't believe she didn't know. "It's…" There was no easy way to describe it. "You move with your arms and legs, usually to music…"
"And what is the point of it?"
"You might consider it unproductive," he said. "But it makes most people happy."
"Then you must show me," Nefelpitou told him, "and I will decide for myself."
He sighed and climbed to his feet. What a bother. Still, he'd rather dance with her than remind her he was supposed to be teaching her about Nen. He held out his hand towards her. "Dancing should be done with two people."
She indulged him, and he guided her hand to his shoulder, grasping her other in his right hand. "This is called a waltz." He settled his free hand lightly on her waist, unwilling to hold her any closer. It was surreal enough as it was. She looked at him with expectation.
"You step back with your right foot"—he matched it with his left—"good, and then you turn and step back again with your left…" They moved like that for a few moments; her steps were flat and devoid of rhythm. She seemed largely unimpressed.
"And this makes humans happy?" She wrinkled her nose. He tightened his hold on her hand and sped up his steps. She matched the pace. And he had worried that he might step on her foot by accident.
"For some people, the dancing alone is enough." He released her waist and guided her into a spin; when she returned to him, they were standing closer together. "For others, it has more to do with the people they're dancing with than the act itself."
If they had music, perhaps it would be less awkward. Kaito stopped, but kept his hands clutching her, realizing for the first time how exposed such a position made the both of them. His hand was close enough to her stomach to damage her internal organs if he was fast enough, and hers had drifted closer to his neck. The thought to strike hadn't even occurred to him—when he spun her, he should have. It was the perfect opportunity, and he let it go to waste.
"I would rather fight with you than dance with you," she said. "That makes me happy."
The simple admission twisted something in his stomach. He released her and stepped backwards. This type of dancing was not as familiar to him as he would have her believe; he preferred the Silent Waltz of his Crazy Slot scythe.
"And what makes you happy?" Once again she fixed her large, unblinking eyes up at him.
"You honestly care?" It was easier to evade it than to come up with an answer to her question. "Remember, I am a human. Does it matter what I want?"
Nefelpitou's posture shifted, and she pouted. "Of course I remember, nyah. But you are not like them." He masked it, but it was impossible not to flinch at the way she said it, the word full of unrealized venom. "When you question me, you offend me," she said. "Can't you just surrender to me?"
He'd never make it this easy for her. "Why do you Chimera Ants hate humans so much?"
She sighed, turning back towards the mound of pillows and settling into it, curling her legs under her body and stretching out one arm to gesture for him to join her. Kaito did, sitting as far away from her as he dared, rearranging a few pillows to make himself more comfortable.
"They're all the same. Their screams all sound the same. They all die the same. They're weak." She glanced at him once, as if irritated that he didn't fit her ideal model. "And the weak should not survive at the expense of the strong."
"A world like that…I wouldn't want to live in it," Kaito said. "I don't agree with your vision for the world."
"You would be welcome in it." She turned over on her side, facing him, and her tail curled around one hip. It was enough to remind him that she wasn't human when her face or her voice could make him forget. "How does it feel, to have moved one step closer to choosing to join me?"
"What?" He looked up at her; her expression was resolute, her confidence unyielding. "What do you mean by that?"
"You remember—I lowered my guard. I gave you half-a-dozen opportunities to kill me while we danced. Maybe you would have even been quick enough to do it. Yet you took none of them." She sounded so pleased; it disgusted him that she had caught on, that she was making him feel that remorse all over again. She could not have done as good a job torturing him with pain alone.
"I reward loyal service," she continued. "Can I bring you food? Is there anything you would prefer?"
His stomach turned as he thought of what food meant to her. He tried not to think of how many humans would have died while he stayed in this room with her. At least, he realized, while she was with him she was not killing people out there.
"Not meat. Vegetables—fish if you can find nothing else." Just like that, his appetite had vanished to nothing, but he knew his body needed something if he wanted to keep up his strength. When she left, would she also get food for herself? Would it be someone he knew? Would she return with their blood on her hands, on her mouth?
Suddenly, he wanted all traces of her gone from his presence. He made to unwrap the scarf from his arm and give it back.
"Keep it. It is a badge," she said. "It shows that you are mine."
She expected him to reply. He tucked the edge of the scarf tighter around his arm. "I am at your command."
She returned to see him with the scarf pulled down again, idly running his fingertips over the scar at the top of his shoulder. As long as he could see it, feel it, he wouldn't forget what it represented. It felt like one side of his body was his own, and the other—on the other side of that raised, uneven scar—belonged to her. She'd given it back to him, after all. He could blame it for his traitorous acts. It was the hand he'd reached out to her. It was the hand that held her own as they danced.
Kaito wasn't sure if, given another chance, he'd hold her again or use that same hand to wield a weapon against her. He'd made the decision once already.
He ate the food she brought listlessly, not tasting any of it.
"Teach me something else," she asked him when he was finished. "I want to learn."
So he taught her about Gyo. It wasn't an offensive power; it was still safe to teach it to her. He had only mentioned using it in the eyes, but she surprised him yet again by making the leap towards applying the technique all over her body, strengthening first her fists and then her legs. She charged Kaito in a few practice tests, batting away his defenses as if they were no stronger than straw.
"You said you want this power to protect your King," Kaito began. He was hesitant, knowing how easily she might misinterpret his words. "Why do you wish to protect him?"
She tilted her head, blinking twice. "Because he is my King."
"You didn't choose him. He didn't give you life." Kaito stepped closer, and initiated an attack, watching as she parried it deftly, hating the small amount of pride that rose up within him at her mastery of the technique. He'd never had a student before; he'd never known that feeling of secondhand success. "It was the Ant Queen, wasn't it? Why do you not serve her?"
"I-I…" She rubbed at her ear with one hand, leaning into it. "Why do you ask such questions? That's just the way it is. And who are you to say who I've chosen to serve? I've chosen you to serve me, after all. Why do you do that, huh?"
Her voice was high-pitched like a whine, but there was truth in her words. He took a deep breath. "Why do I serve you?" He looked thoughtful. "That's just the way it is."
She was in his face in an instant, growling. "That's not good enough!"
He glared right back. "I think so, too."
"You…You-!" Nefelpitou was angrier than he'd ever seen her; even when they first fought, she had never shown any anger. Now, he was treated to the full force of it. "You humans. Too much logic, too much emotion. What we follow goes beyond that. It's biology. It's heredity. There is no room for anything else."
"Was any part of you human, once?" He asked the question with true concern, and if he thought she was angry before, what he saw now chilled his blood. It was her aura, wrapping around the both of them, squeezing and dark and malicious in a way that he didn't think possible.
"No."
"Do you ever wish you were?" He did not know what price his boldness would carry. He didn't know if he asked with the goal of having her kill him for his trouble, and decided that he was not quite that desperate yet. "You wish that I was like you, right?"
She charged, striking out a clawed hand so suddenly he didn't even see it until it was there, drawing the slightest bit of blood on the surface of his skin. Then, she turned, and flew into the wall, tearing huge rents in it with her claws. She shrieked, and Kaito watched, speechless, as she carved the wall like it was butter instead of rock.
He brought a hand up to the place below his collarbone where a series of neat incisions marred the fabric of his shirt. He glanced back at the wall. She could have done…that to him if she'd wanted, carved his body like a block of clay. Instead, she left him unharmed, even went out of her way to ensure that she did not hurt him.
He was sure what he was seeing she had shown to no one else. He realized, again, that with her back to him, consumed by rage, she had given him an even more vulnerable position to attack. And there he stood, his shaking hands balled into fists, silent.
He didn't attack. Instead, he walked to her, where she had sunk her hands deep into the rock, and wrapped his arms around her body, linking them and resting his chin on her shoulder. She stiffened, and he was afraid for a moment she would try to throw him off.
"What are you doing, nyah?" Her attempt at levity let him know that the worst was over.
"Holding you." He could understand how the concept could be foreign to her. "It…makes me happy."
She did not relax against him, but she let him hold her, which was enough. With a grunt, she tore her hands from the rock. They were virtually unharmed; she had protected them with Ryu, the enhanced form of Gyo she'd learned on her own.
"You should get away from me," she said suddenly, and his arms involuntarily tightened.
"Why is that?" he asked.
"There is something wrong. Whenever you are near me, it hurts." She clasped her own hands together above where his rested against her stomach. She was careful to keep their skin from touching. "I do not understand it."
"Would you like to?" Her ears twitched as his breath hit them. He allowed himself to laugh, but there was no humor in it. "If I stay with you any longer, I put myself at risk of doing something really stupid." Like help her. Like trust her. Did she even know what she was doing to him? He had some small idea of what he'd already done to her, but he had no idea how or why it had happened.
"Nyah, you are a human. It is what I would expect." Her head dropped back against his shoulder, but then she pulled away, pushing his arms aside to walk around him.
"I should—I mean, I have patrols to make. I'll be back later." She looked back at him. "Don't escape."
He had only now decided not to. "I won't."
The smile she gave him at that was glowing. "Good."
The next day she asked him to teach her a different technique, so he taught her Ko. It was the most dangerous thing he'd taught her yet, and he found a small part of him doing what he said he'd never do: surrender. And she had not made it easy.
Nefelpitou cut the aura to all of her body with Zetsu but her right hand, cloaking it in a blinding wash of aura. She could have leveled the nest with it, he was sure.
"You're making progress," he told her.
"So are you," she said.
His scarf had slipped down his arm, and she refastened it for him, winding it tight enough and weaving the strands under one another to keep it secure, using the pin more for decoration than necessity.
"Do you want lunch?" she offered.
"No meat," he said. Her tail flicked in annoyance.
"There's nothing wrong with being a carnivore, nyah."
"Of course not. But that's not just what you Ants are. You eat and eat, to the point that eventually there will only be one of you left, alone at the end of it all, and they'll starve to death."
She scoffed. "You would suggest I eat your food instead?"
"Well," he replied, "if you were to eat human food I'd suggest starting with ice cream."
Then he had to explain to her what that was, and after she attempted to compare it to certain parts of the human brain he lost all appetite.
"Do you even listen at all, nyah?" Nefelpitou blinked up at him from her place cross-legged in a mass of multicolored pillows beside him. "Chimera Ants do not eat one another. That would—that would be wrong."
"You're missing the point."
"Perhaps I should have taken your ears instead of your arm," she said. "You don't seem to be using them."
He tried to imagine how that would have impacted their fight. A disadvantage was still a disadvantage, and it likely would have changed nothing. Kaito wondered if she knew that she did more damage leaving scars on the inside of his body than the outside.
She continued, "Or instead I will take your mouth. If you were a Chimera Ant, you would have little need of it. Ants can communicate telepathically." She gave him an appraising look. "Perhaps, in time…"
"You shouldn't. Mouths can be useful things. They're good for more than talking and eating, that's for sure."
She had to know. "Like what?"
"Like laughing. Or…whistling. Or kissing." As soon as the words left his mouth he knew he was in trouble. There would be no going back, for either of them.
"Show me."
And he did, leaning forward and reaching out to grasp the back of her head, pulling her down to crash their lips together. She didn't move at first, but when she did it was explosive; her mouth opened and he deepened the kiss, reaching for her with his other hand, pulling her closer. She growled, somewhere deep in her throat, and swung a leg over his to straddle his waist, locking her hands around the sides of his face to pull him into another kiss.
He wanted to bite her, but he was afraid she might think that was how humans kissed. He brought his teeth down lightly on the edge of her bottom lip, and she reciprocated by drawing the claws of one hand down his arm. It stung, and he bit down harder.
"Don't worry," she said between kisses, "I'll heal you afterward."
"Well, if it's going to be like that." And he slid his own hands behind her neck and underneath her collar, sinking his nails into the skin. In her anger, she had not hurt him. In his, he did not hold back.
She all but melted against him, sliding the scarf off his right arm with a gentleness far removed from the way she treated the rest of him. He encouraged it.
One of his hands moved down to her hip, holding her closer. Her tail batted against his arm, and he reached out to curl his fingers around it. She made a noise of appreciation and kissed him again, their faces slanted as she pushed him back further into the pillows.
He was kissing the same mouth that had no trouble eating the flesh of his kind. That should've been more of a problem than it was. Before he'd met her, it would have been. What a hypocrite. What a selfish man he was.
He grasped one of her arms as it reached for him, bending it back in a way that couldn't have been painless. She groaned, and he used the opportunity to flip her over, resting his body on top of hers, and kissed her again, slower this time.
The hand that gripped her wrist tightened, and he drew back, his eyes widening. In case he was imagining it, he leaned forward again, resting one ear against her chest.
"Your heartbeat is so fast." It thudded along, almost too fast to count.
She flipped them again, and copied his gesture, tipping her head forward to rest an ear against his chest. "And yours is so slow!" She looked up at him. "You're not going to die, are you?" She sat up and reached for him again, shredding his shirt with her claws to get at his chest.
She pressed the same ear against his bare skin. "Nyah, it's speeding up again!" She sounded pleased; he was mortified. "Your face is red. Are you sure you're not ill?"
Kaito pulled her back towards him to kiss her again. "I'm sure."
"I'm glad you have a mouth. And ears," she added almost as an afterthought. "And arms."
He wrapped them both around her at that. "It doesn't matter what you take. You can beat up my body and heal it. Over and over and over." If it was a surrender, it didn't feel like one.
"I'll hold you to that, nyah." Every breathy grunt and moan from his lips sounded different to her ears, and Nefelpitou began to anticipate them, provoking him to see what noise he might make next. He shivered when she blew air along the ridge of his ear, and he growled when she settled a clawed hand alongside his hip. She appreciated the growl—she could match that. And she did.
He would prove just what a human could do for her.
She dug her claws into his side, her too-large eyes shining. "Can you take it? I wouldn't want to kill you, Kaito."
He kissed her again, done with trying to reconcile his desire for her with his desire to hurt her. If he could only love her in this harsh, unforgiving way, he would give it everything he had. "Like hell I'm gonna die now."
She was kneading a pillow again when he woke up, shredding the fabric to nothing. She looked back at him with a meaningful, pleased smile. "When I first saw you I knew you'd be special, nyah."
"I felt your En before I saw you. It was…" He searched for the proper word, biting his tongue to keep from saying something stupid like beautiful or majestic or monstrous. "…Arresting."
"And do I still fascinate you?" She leaned forward, stopped the movement of her claws on the pillow. He'd known what it felt like to have her full attention before, but it was still different than this.
"Of course." It was gratifying, but it was still more than a little like torture. "I…" He couldn't even put it into words; he would probably end up screaming more than speaking at her.
"If I leave," she said, her tone suspiciously light, "you won't try to escape, right?"
He was silent. He couldn't promise her that anymore.
"You don't have to worry!" she said quickly, preempting his unvoiced protestations. "You're mine. No one else will get in our way."
He might get in their way. What would she do then? "In being here, alive, I'm throwing everything away." He wasn't sure if he could even do that, regardless of whether or not he wanted to. His sides and arms were littered with tiny, raised scars that showed him what he could stand to gain by joining her. Pain, suffering. A twisted kind of affection. Would he so readily doom his own kind for this?
"But don't you see? We're going to win!" She reached for him, drawn in by the warmth of his skin. "I'll kill anyone who comes to take you back."
He froze; he had thought his only liability would be how he could potentially give away information that could help her cause and hurt his own. He never thought he'd become a liability to the Hunters he'd left behind, or to her.
He closed his eyes, felt her curl up beside him, tucking herself against the curve of his body. Another chance to kill her; another chance ignored. How many days had it been, and it already felt like a millennia? What would it be like for someone like her, who could regenerate and heal herself at will, to live an inconceivable number of days, so long as her head remained attached to her body? He hoped he would never have to know.
When he awoke again and she was gone, he took his opportunity and attempted to escape. He had not taught her In for a reason.
He kept her scarf, wrapping it around his shoulders in place of the shirt she'd shredded. He didn't know how far he'd get before she or someone else came for him, and hoped it would be at least as far enough away from the colony as the part of the forest where they'd first met.
He made it down a hallway and around a corner before he nearly collided with a tall man in a frilled white shirt. Not man—he corrected himself immediately—ant. Suddenly, Kaito could feel his Nen, and in just the brief second before he withdrew it Kaito could tell he was outclassed yet again when it came to the base strength of their aura.
He could admire such a thing later. He opened his mouth to speak, but the ant beat him to it.
"So you're the strange presence I've been sensing…" He sounded thoughtful; the absence of any perceivable wrath or bloodlust was more suspicious than anything else. "What are you doing here? And you'll answer quickly, if you want your death to be swift."
Not good. Kaito noticed the wings sprouting from the ant's back, curved and glimmering faintly. In a narrow hallway, the sides and roof made of rough rock, such a creature would be disadvantaged. But he knew the layout of their lair, and Kaito did not. Even if he could get past him, there was no way of knowing where that path would take him.
"Nefelpitou," he said. If there was one word that could save him, it was that. "She is—"
"Kaito!" The voice behind him was hers, and full of strangled relief. She approached them with her shoulders back, head high, and placed herself between the two of them. "He has been teaching me Nen."
"It is human." The Ant's lip curled. "And a rare one at that. The strongest I have seen. It should be fed to the Queen."
"I thought so myself at first," Nefelpitou began—Kaito glanced at her, affronted—"but I think such a person might be more helpful to us alive than as nourishment for our King."
"Then kill it once you are finished with it." His lip curled. "And keep it out of my sight."
"Shaiapouf. He will fight for us."
Kaito masked the surprise that threatened to show on his face; the conviction in her voice stunned him. She truly believed he would fight—to save his own life or to join in their cause, he couldn't say, but her belief was unwavering.
"Will you now?"
He wondered how much more of himself he would abandon. "Yes."
"Come with me," Shaiapouf said to Nefelpitou, "and bring your pet. I want to watch him fight."
It was just a pair of drudge ants, the unlucky ones who had been stationed outside a large, central room, with corridors branching out on all sides like the spokes of a wheel. The rock had slats carved high into the walls to let in light, and it splashed across the floor to highlight a sunken section of the floor. Shaiapouf beckoned the drudges over, and had them stand in the center of that sunken circle.
"Kill him if you can," Shaiapouf told them. He walked back towards Kaito, and his mouth twisted into a grin too wide to be anything but malicious. "Fight them. Use whatever means you like. And if you should kill them…" He shrugged, tossing his head back. "We have little need for soldiers who can't even handle a human."
"With pleasure." Here was something he could do. He didn't even need to use Crazy Slot, just leapt forward and grabbed the drudges by the heads and twisted their necks until they cracked, then twisted again until the flesh yielded. It took less than five seconds for their bodies—minus their heads—to hit the floor and for him to return to Nefelpitou's side. He was fast enough that he had not even gotten any of their blood on his hands.
"How do you feel, nyah?" she asked him.
Even in this small way, he could help the others he'd left behind. "That felt good."
"I've changed my mind," Shaiapouf said, again with that same appraising, thoughtful tone that put all of Kaito's senses on edge. "I would like to see more of you. You will fight for us again, tomorrow. Perhaps an Officer or two will provide more of a challenge."
Later, he did calisthenics in the room they shared while Nefelpitou napped, wanting to re-establish the condition of his body and prepare himself for the tests that were in store for him. He didn't think that they would have him fighting drudges for long.
He wondered briefly if he would get to fight Nefelpitou again; such a thing would serve to better establish his strength in their eyes than the near-mindless slaughter of whoever they chose to throw at him. He was confident enough in his abilities that he would not lose—not when a single misstep would lead to a loss, and a single loss would mean his death.
This was why she didn't want him trying to escape, he realized. None of the other ants even came close to being capable to stop him, but this new ant could.
A second realization dawned, snapping into place with a solidness as final as nails striking a coffin lid. The time to escape had passed the moment this Shaiapouf had been born. He should at least have tried—even if the possibility was one percent or less, he should have tried. He owed them that much. Instead, he had given a promise to her, and he had paid the cost for keeping it. He wished now that he hadn't.
He did another push-up, and another, switching hands and keeping the other crossed behind his back. This kind of strength they could not take from him so easily.
From where she lounged against the mound of pillows, Nefelpitou stretched. She drew her arm back towards her face to cover a yawn, and then rolled over to face Kaito. He moved to sit up, and rested an elbow on one propped knee.
"You did well," she told him, a trace of tiredness still coloring her voice. "You shouldn't have left, though. I half expected him to kill you on sight." She stretched again, the motion languid as she lifted her arm and straightened her fingers. "I'm glad he didn't, nyah. That would have been troublesome."
"Just troublesome?"
"I might have had to kill him for it." She seemed to stare at some spot far against the wall behind him, her eyes widening with barely-submerged intent. "I told you, you're mine, Kaito."
"You're right," he agreed carefully. To dwell further on that topic would be dangerous; but then again, there was nothing here that was not dangerous, no action or speech that could not in some way endanger his life more than he already had.
After a pause, he asked, "Are there any others like you and…that other ant?"
"There will be. He was born this morning," Nefelpitou told him. "Shaiapouf. He is not as strong as me, nyah, but you'd still better keep your distance."
Something in his head was swimming. "Today?" That didn't seem possible, and it provided even more staggering implications. "So when your King is born…"
"He will be perfect." Her voice grew breathy and her eyes shone with an immediate reverence. "From the moment of his birth he will be ready to lead us. The world will be ours, Kaito." Her tail began to swish. "Just thinking about it…"
"And your Queen means nothing to you?"
"I told you once that she is not my Queen," Nefelpitou answered. "She is the Queen of the ants you killed."
He felt sick again. "I'm not really helping anyone, am I?" It was a despairing thought.
"Hmm?" She looked up at him. "What'd you say?"
"Nothing." It had been no more than a whisper. Better not to invite her anger when he already had his own to deal with. Still, if he could get away with killing a few ants in the guise of his demonstrations, he would do so gladly. Anything to help the friends who were more than likely fighting to get him back. And if they were—he supposed he couldn't have the monopoly on stupid decisions.
"Kaito." It came out like a whine, and as Nefelpitou stretched her arms again the joints cracked with an audible pop. "Spar with me again?"
It was just what he needed, and he no longer had a reason to conceal his aura. These days, their fights always ended the same way.
"With pleasure." In a second, they were both on their feet, and she leapt forward, claws extended.
They had finally gotten him to use Crazy Slot, and his mace had beaten through the field of Officers they'd sent at him. After the first wave had gone down, Shaiapouf had clicked his tongue with an air of disapproval, and commanded that he was no longer to kill any of them—that he was to assist Shaiapouf with the newest ants' training. He had watched as Shaiapouf demonstrated it to him—how a Nen attack could in itself awaken Nen potential in others—and felt even greater despair when it was made clear that this was to be his new purpose.
Instead, when faced with the next wave of Squadron Leaders and Officers, Crazy Slot had given him his scythe, and he had cut through the crowd, severing their legs at the knees and creating deep slashes in the rock of the walls. Only Shaiapouf and a bird-like Squadron Leader had evaded the attack.
"They are not dead," Kaito said, wondering how his insolence would be received, especially with Nefelpitou not there to act as a buffer between them; she was at work surveying the area with her En from the top of the nest. "I followed your orders to the letter, didn't I?"
The ants shrieked in pain on the floor, writhing in their own blood. While he had witnessed multiple times their amazing capacity for self-healing, he knew many of them would likely die from their wounds before they could heal themselves or be healed by another.
"Well. Make sure you clean up your mess." Shaiapouf walked away, both hands clasped behind his back. "A human. How appalling."
When Kaito returned to their room Nefelpitou was back, lounging on a pillow. When she saw him she stood and moved to his side, lightly pressing her fingers against the cuts and bruises he had sustained from that morning's battles.
"You look awful," she said, the corners of her mouth pulled up in a smile, the mechanical fingers of Doctor Blythe already clicking together behind her.
"You should see the other guy," Kaito mumbled.
"I wouldn't waste my time or energy healing him, nyah."
"You won't have to." Kaito hissed, the initial sting of the cold metal as it touched his arms receding as Nefelpitou's aura enveloped him. "He's dead."
She seemed pleased. She probably thought he was doing it to show his allegiance to her; he couldn't leave any of his opponents alive, not when every death might help Gon and Killua. It was one small way he could atone for his actions here.
Her work done, Nefelpitou withdrew Doctor Blythe and returned to her prior spot crouched atop a fuchsia pillow. She gestured to the space beside her and Kaito joined her, brushing aside bits of ripped fabric and stuffing to lean against a pillow missing half its fringe. There were hardly any left that had fully escaped her treatment; she couldn't help but want to destroy things. At least with him, any surface damage could be repaired.
Nefelpitou was humming something under her breath, and leaned sideways so her head rested against Kaito's chest. Her fingers tapped out a rhythm against one arm, following the pace of his heartbeat.
It was surprisingly steady. Stronger than he'd thought it would be. If he did not have his responsibilities—if he did not know deep in his brain that somehow every single ant had to die and that he should have been the one seeing it happen—he could have been persuaded to never leave that room. Just let the world turn without him, just let him forget about them and them about him. It was better than thinking about what he'd done, and what he'd continue to do. Here he could forget, if only for awhile.
It occurred to him that Shaiapouf likely did not care at all about the strength he possessed, and only forced him to fight for his own amusement—they really did not have much need of him, after all. He would be forced to fight until he died.
And Nefelpitou would never let him go. Wherever she went, she would drag him along so they could repeat this same dance. He knew the steps by now. He knew how it would end. They were insoluble. Better for his head to roll.
He glanced up at her. "Tell me what you know of Shaiapouf's abilities."
Nefelpitou made a pleased noise deep in her throat. "The scales of his wings are his En, you know. He can use it to read others' auras. Why do you ask?"
"I just want to be prepared," he said.
"For what, nyah?"
"For everything." If his heartbeat sped up, she did not comment.
It had taken a half-dozen of them, attacking at once, to finally get him off balance enough that he fell to his knees. Kaito batted them away, his motions wilder. It unsettled him more than he cared to admit. Before it was fear that kept them away, and the knowledge that Kaito would kill them if given a chance. Shaiapouf had given them courage and strategy.
"They will get stronger fighting someone as strong as you are, or they will die—and in which case, we will have no use of them." He paused, as if the idea had suddenly occurred to him; Kaito knew that to be a lie. "I will get stronger fighting you. The King will get stronger from consuming you."
Kaito steadied himself, the cackling of Crazy Slot echoing in his ears. "If I am to be a part of your King, then you will be following a part of me."
Shaiapouf's grimace was tossed away with one edge of his cape, rustling over his shoulder. "You are entirely inconsequential."
"Yet here you are, then, wasting your time." Kaito scratched at the skin behind one ear, pretending indifference. Shaiapouf was not the only one who could play this game. "Wasting mine, too."
His aura flared, so much like that first time he'd felt it—suffusing the room and suppressing everything and everyone in it. The group of squadron ants Kaito had been fighting fell back, and when Shaiapouf stepped forward, it was with the deadly intent of a predator.
High above their heads, at the top of the nest, Nefelpitou's aura was doing somersaults. He could feel the way it chilled the air even at that distance. Kaito knew Shaiapouf would try and make it quick, to use that to his advantage.
He summoned Crazy Slot. "Ohoho," the head cackled. "You're really going to do it, aren't you? I'll give you a good number." And it spun.
"You better," he said, his voice low.
The wheel landed on its chosen number, and Kaito watched with a growing sense of detachment as Crazy Slot transformed itself into an oversized syringe with an elongated number eight on the plunger. The clown's mouth covered the top of the glass barrel, itself filled with a clear liquid.
Shaiapouf watched, his eyes focused on the new weapon, his complacent grin breaking as he studied it.
"Now, what do we have here?"
Shaiapouf may have been able to read auras, but there were many more ways of reading an opponent, and some of them were more telling. Kaito tightened his grip on the syringe's barrel.
Crazy Slot would not have given him this weapon without cause. To Kaito, it created a situation even more dire—he could not switch weapons until he used this one. And to use it, on either himself or his opponent, would mean something both great and terrible.
"What do you think?" His heart must have been leaping inside his chest for how loud it sounded to his ears. When Nefelpitou had first approached him in the forest, he had barely had time to fear for his life. Now, with this venomous aura before him, the process was drawn-out to the point that his body processed every last heartbeat as if it was his last. The desire to live when faced with death was staggering.
The syringe in his hand did not help matters.
"I am trying to decide just what that is," Shaiapouf answered, all pretense at leisure gone. "Is it meant for you, or for me? If it is a poison, I shouldn't be hasty, but if it is some kind of remedy for you, then I should rush in and disable it. Oh, what a decision-!"
Kaito could work with his curiosity. The ant hadn't moved—he barely blinked, he barely breathed, and when he did it was with a loud, prolonged inhalation that suggested a kind of delirium. His wide, uneven grin was back, and when he spoke it was with that same breathy thoughtfulness he'd heard countless times when he knew Shaiapouf was deep in thought.
"I've seen your ability take many forms, and they've all been weapons. That leads me to believe this is a poison, meant to kill or incapacitate me. And what kinds of limitations does a power like this have? Does all of it need to be injected to work? How truly fascinating."
"I have an idea, then," Kaito said, and lifted the syringe higher. "Choose one of us to be injected with this. If you choose correctly, you could either kill me or strengthen yourself. And if you choose wrong…"
"Then I might die?" His mouth stretched into an uneven, wide grin. "Oh, I like this game. You are starting to think like us."
"Am I?" He supposed it wasn't too bad a thing. "If I have to think like you to beat you, I will. If I have to become like you to beat you, I'll do it gladly."
Nefelpitou burst into the room the same time that Shaiapouf made his decision.
"Inject Pitou with it."
Kaito stiffened involuntarily, his eyes locking with Pitou's from across the room. Hers were wide with a kind of uncertain fury, and he was not sure which of them it was directed at. "That wasn't part of the deal."
"You said I must choose one of us, and I choose her." It was clear to Kaito then that Shaiapouf wholeheartedly believed the syringe contained poison, and the ant had only chosen her to inflict the most damage to Kaito.
"She can heal herself if it is truly dangerous." He shrugged again, but his eyes never left Kaito's as he studied every emotion that flickered across his face. "And there are no risks to me. I quite like this decision."
The thought of this substance in her veins made his own blood run cold. Nefelpitou reached his side in three steps, and leaned forward to study the syringe, sniffing at the barrel.
"Is it poison, nyah?" She sounded just as curious as Shaiapouf, and Kaito gave her a fond smile.
"If it is, I'll inject myself right after."
Shaiapouf's mocking laughter rang in his ears. "I thought we had a deal, human. Are you a man of your word?"
Kaito lifted the syringe higher with both hands. Shaiapouf had been right when he questioned what kind of limitation this weapon would have—Kaito did not know what would happen if only half of the substance was injected in a person. Would it even affect a Chimera Ant? It was a stupid plan, but it was the only one he had, and the longer he looked at Nefelpitou's face the more he hoped that it would work.
"Go ahead," she said. "Inject me. I want to see what happens."
"So, have I won our little game?" Shaiapouf's laughter only increased as Kaito helped Nefelpitou roll one jacket-sleeve up.
"This isn't the kind of battle somebody wins," he said. "We all lose something in a war like this."
"Oh? And how much have you lost?" Shaiapouf's eyes were drawn to the syringe as Kaito steadied it at the crook of Nefelpitou's arm before sliding the needle in.
"Everything," he said, and depressed the plunger.
"Not yet." Shaiapouf watched as Kaito drained half the clear liquid into her arm.
Kaito knew his eyes must look dead; he could see it reflected in Nefelpitou's concern, and as he withdrew the syringe and turned it on himself she reached out as if to stop him. It was on instinct, and she looked at her hand for a moment as Kaito reassured her.
"Trust me. I'll see you," he said, "in another life. I'll search for you."
With the condition fulfilled he could get a new weapon from Crazy Slot, but as he turned towards Shaiapouf he knew he wouldn't be given the opportunity. The ant's face was full of unrealized fury—fury at being outsmarted, at failing to realize what Kaito had intended until it was too late to stop it.
He charged, faster than the time it took for Kaito to blink, faster than Nefelpitou could react, and sunk his fingers into Kaito's left temple and tore out a section of bone and brain—
He heard Nefelpitou's horrified scream over the sound of Crazy Slot's laughter, and then nothing at all—
She formed Doctor Blythe in an instant, but it was bound to her tail and when she raced at Shaiapouf he danced out of reach, holding the bit of bloodied tissue in his hands. She clawed at the air, torn between wanting to tear Shaiapouf's face to shreds and kneel at Kaito's side and make the futile attempt at healing him.
"It doesn't work like that, does it?" Shaiapouf asked. "You can only repair if you already have all the pieces. And even so, you can't put life back into his body."
"Give that back," she said.
"No." Drops of blood fell between his cupped fingers. "I think I'll give it to the Queen to eat—or maybe even eat it myself. Will that help you see how foolishly you've been acting?"
"If I need to say those words to you some day, nyah, you will know that you are moments from death." Her aura was chilling, but he flicked one of his blood-splattered hands in her direction before stalking off.
Doctor Blythe's mechanical fingers stopped the bleeding and stabilized the wound, stretching his skin back into place to cover the gash in his head. That scar was uglier than the ones that crisscrossed the rest of his body. She cradled his body in her arms; if she didn't know better, he could almost look like he was still alive.
"I want…to do this again…with you. Ah, that's right—it is a simple matter." Clear strings, glittering with Nen, wrapped around his wrists and shoulders and sprung from the tops of his feet. She did not look at the creature above him, formed from more Nen, manipulating his body as she stood and held out a hand towards him.
He placed his within her own, and she pulled him up. His skin was cooler than it should be; maybe Nen could fix that too. But the hand resting on her waist was not unwelcome, and when the puppet led her in a dance, she followed his movements perfectly.
"In another life, huh?" The puppet-body did not step on her feet once. She made it smile at her. "I'll be waiting for you."
End.
Notes:
1) Inspired largely by Nefelpitou's words in Ch 200 when she creates an entire ability because of him ("It was fun. I felt like I was dreaming. I want to do it again…with you…" "Ah! That's right. It's a simple matter. I can just repair him! And I will make this my power!" and in a conversation with Koruto: "I only [healed him] because I needed to do it." - that's right. Needed. xD I'm a shipper at heart).
2) The title, Insoluble, refers to something that is incapable of being dissolved. Think: oil and water, etc.
3) A cat's heartbeat is more than twice as fast as a human's.
3) Thank you for reading! I would appreciate and value your reviews!
~Jess