----
I have been avoiding mirrors as much as possible for a long time, but now,
today, I can't leave it. At first it was odd to me how I never noticed it, how I
must have just thought there was no reason for it, as funny as that sounds. But
now I know it's been there all along, and that it was something missing inside
my head that made me not see it. But that missing something has returned now, in
full force, and I can't pass a mirror without looking at it. It looks out at me,
the white skin gleaming. It's like a badge of my betrayal. When I close my eyes,
I can feel the cold steel against my neck. I can feel myself gasping for air and
my hot blood running over my hands. I remember everything I thought of while I
was lying there on the cold, park ground. The thing I remember feeling most
(besides pain) was that sinking, creeping sense of betrayal that has since
returned in full force, and is crawling under my skin, even now. Though things
are passed now, and Angel swears he's forgiven me, I can still hear his voice,
muffled through the pillow: "You're a dead man, Pryce!". I again feel the
gasping feeling, and then I remember little things, like the scent of Lilah's
hair and the look in Justine's eyes as I bound and gagged her. It stings, it all
stings, sometimes more than I can handle.. but then I open my eyes and I'm able
to suppress those memories. Until I pass another mirror. Then I see that scar
again, gleaming in the dim lighting of my apartment, and everything comes back
again, screaming.
