I woke up feeling like something was wrong...Dale wasn't by my side and that's what told me that well...something was wrong. After I stood up and dressed for the day, I couldn't help but smile at the the new visitors in my cell. Ben and Billy, lay curled up in a cot we dragged in, resting silently. I walked over to them and bent over, leaning to kiss their foreheads. "Good morning boys." This action caused me to sigh as I went back to dig through my bag for a blanket to cover them. Quietly, I trod back to them and moved the blanket over them. "Sleep well."

After my time with the boys, I couldn't help but want to find Dale. He wasn't laying next to me, which I immediately found suspicious as he always liked to see me wake up in the mornings, or so he said. After I grabbed my knife and rifle, I moved to the common area of the prison where the food was kept. Lori was sitting with Carol and Carl, her hands protectively holding her enlarged belly. I sort of felt bad for her. Sure, I knew Rick would protect her and the baby for anything...Hell, I would...Axel would...Tyreese….Billy….Maggie and Glenn..That baby would be safe. That wasn't the reason I felt bad though. The reason I felt bad was because Rick was not there for her, not anymore like he used to be. It made me angry in a way I can't explain. Rick's separation set us all of, as their breakup surely was the latest talk in the prison. I saw it coming though.

Everyone that belonged to our Atlanta group knew about Lori's relationship with Shane, and Rick did too, accepting the fact that the child was not his. The time gap didn't even fit where it could remotely make sense. I'm just mad because well, now was not the time to abandon your pregnant wife. I decided I would talk to him about it, seeing as Rick seemed to trust me more than anyone else here. I owed Lori and that unborn child that. That baby was our future. He or she gave us a reason to want more. To protect what we had and expand it. Even though I knew Rick had "broken up with Lori," I was going to beat some sense into him to stay with her. Not only for the baby, but for Carl, and the future support those children needed.

I saw Rick through the corner of my eye and I immediately wanted to run over and corner him. Rick glanced to me, and then quickly away, sitting at a table far from Lori, in the corner. This was my chance. I grabbed two packets of snack food knowing that Rick wouldn't want the oatmeal that the women had prepared (as he hated oatmeal..oatmeal and corn) and darted over before he could escape. It had been about three days since I heard Rick tell Lori he was leaving her, and I really thought by now that they would be back together. Lori loved Shane though, not Rick, and everyone knew that. As soon as Rick killed Shane, Lori grew cold and distant to him, and Rick surely wasn't the only one who noticed. It didn't stop me though from wanting to plead for Lori as I sat down across from him and tossed him the snack mix.

"Rick Grimes. Don't you dare try leaving or I will call the cops on you." Rick chuckled some as I ripped open my own packet. There was a very distinct smirk on my face, one I couldn't hide. "Well, /Andrea Harrison/, they would let me go, seeing as I am a cop." I smiled warmly at him, the laughter that escaped me betraying my cover. /Damn it/. "Listen…." I swallowed and looked down, frowning. How could I just joke with the man after what he was doing to Lori? The thought caused me to frown as I saw Rick tense up out of the corner of my eye, and I frowned deeper still, looking back to him. "Leaving Lori when she's this vulnerable… It isn't right. She needs you right now. Hell, that baby needs you. And..I don't want to hear some bullshit about how the baby isn't yours.. That baby is the hope we need...gives us the will to survive, and I will damn near protect it at all costs and you better do so too. I just think you need to focus on Lori, Rick… She needs you." I sighed as I waited for his response, patiently. He let a moment of silence carry out before he looked up to me, "Andrea… I'm not abandoning the child. I'm surely not abandoning Lori or Carl. They're my family...I love them…. I just can't sleep in the same bed as a woman who won't even let me hold her hand. The woman I loved is gone. She did love me at one point…. She /loves/ Shane now though...even though he's gone, she loves him. I can see it in her eyes when she looks at me...Eyes full of disgust and hate because I killed /him/. The man who slept with my wife and tried to claim my son… but somehow I'm the bad guy when my best friend tried to kill me… I just can't fake it anymore with her...and neither can she...I mean honestly, does she seem sad, Andrea? You have to see her like I do...She seems /relieved/. She is relieved that she doesn't have to worry anymore about me… but believe me, Andrea I'm not the man to abandon them. That's still my child. Carl is still my son. Lori is still the mother of my children, and I will continue to love and protect them no matter what happens between Lori and I."

I didn't know what to say...Hell, Rick pretty much answered all of my questions and for that I was thankful. He would protect them...He would take care of his child. I couldn't help but feel like an idiot for even thinking my best friend would abandon a child. Rick was the nicest guy I ever met...So loving. Sometimes it took me by surprise, his generosity, as I often found myself envious of the way he /loved/. I realized Rick was watching me and I quickly looked up, fumbling for a way to explain myself. "I was just worried about Lori." I popped a pretzel piece in my mouth as Rick did so simultaneously as if we were a synchronized machine. "I just wanted to make sure…." Rick laughed dryly as he munched on his pretzel, worrying me that he was mad at me. "Andrea, I really do appreciate you watching out for Lori… because I don't think anyone else is besides Carol...And that's only because she wants to make love with my ex-wife."

I couldn't stop laughing at Rick's words of Carol and I quickly pressed for more, almost entirely forgetting about Dale. "What the hell are you talking about, Grimes?" Rick chuckled as he ate more of his breakfast. "Carol...Oh God I can't even talk about it because she's watching us." Rick paused to laugh, his hands going on the table. I leaned forward and playfully sprinkled the salt from the bag on his hands like a four-year old would. He retracted them, flicking salt at me with both of his hands, but that's when my eyes caught it. His right hand still remained wrapped from the day he saved me from Thomas. It seemed that hand would never be the same. I watched Dale clean it, and demand Rick to make a fist, but he failed miserably, the sight making my eyes burn with sadness. Rick noticed my frown as he finished flicking salt and spoke up, the subject of Carol being entirely omitted, "Andrea...What's wrong? Are you okay? I didn't mean to flick salt at you.. I was just playing around…" I quickly shook my head no and leaned forward to put my elbows on the metal table. "It's not that Rick...It's your hand." I paused for the fact because I simply wasn't sure if I could go on. My words certainly had an affect on Rick, and I could easily see that as he set both hands down in front of her. "Andrea, it's fine..Besides, It will heal. I can still shoot a gun with my right hand, and that's all that really matters these days, isn't it?" Rick waited for my response, but I remained silent, looking down guiltily. "Are you trying to tell me you think this is your fault?" Of course I thought it was my fault. Sure, he was saving me from the psychopath who had beheaded Hersel's daughters, but I'm stronger than them. I know I am, and that should be my hand, not Rick's. Surely I left with damage from the fight, a partially missing earlobe and a huge scar descending across my face, but I was alive, and still had functioning use of each of my vital limbs. "Rick… I just feel bad seeing as you were protecting me. Damn it… I should have been able to protect myself." I set my hands down directly in front of Rick's, the difference striking in his worn hands and my petite, markless ones. "That should be my hand, not yours. It was all my fault. I wasn't strong enough." Rick immediately frowned at that, and moved his hands closer until our fingertips touched, oddly enough. "Andrea Harrison, you are being ridiculous. You survived, got away, I just finished what you started. You are strong enough...He just had a weapon and the upper hand, but that won't happen again. As far as I'm concerned about my hand, it's not a problem. So as your best friend, I'm going to need you not to worry." Damn..Here Rick was, caring about himself again, even with the hurting hand. The thought made my head spin in the confused I don't understand the male race way.

Shit. I forgot about Dale! I immediately pulled my hands away, my eyes darting up to Rick's. "Where's Dale? Have you seen him?" Rick looked up thinking before he moved his hands to hold his head. "Well… He mentioned going to siphon gas from the cars outside… I think Glenn went." My heart was practically pounding from my chest as I moved to a stand. "You let them go alone? What the /hell/ Rick?!" Rick shook his head helplessly, moving to a stand as well. "Andrea, Glenn and Dale are /fine/. They are just outside the gate. Believe me." I quickly left the bench and began walking off, searching for Dale through the prison, Rick on the ends of my feet. "Rick, I'm going to need you to back the fuck up, I need to focus!" Rick growled somewhat angrily in my ear as he came to my side. "Andrea Harrison you are going to let me help you! I need the distraction anyways." I was now even more angry as I bit my quivering lip and searched, searched, and searched, but I couldn't say another word to the man beside me.

After scanning the entire prison, Rick and I went outside, but Glenn nearly tumbled into me, heavily panting. "Andrea..Rick thank God!" Rick immediately grabbed Glenn's shoulder, steadying him as I looked behind him for Dale. Seeing no sight of him, I spoke up a bit panicked. "Glenn, where's Dale?" Glenn's face dropped as he shook his head a tiny bit and muttered, "Gone." Rick quickly snapped back saying, "Glenn, you need to tell me right now! What the hell happened?" Glenn panted heavily, quickly speaking, "We were out hunting, you know for gas, and we had some canteens full, but then we heard a helicopter and we walked over to investigate. I know it was stupid, but we went, and these men…. knocked us both out. They /left me/. I don't know why, but they did and now I'm here… I'm so sorry Andrea.. I /tried/." You tried? I felt my fists curl up, ready to fire at Glenn, but he wasn't the one I should be angry at. The people I were angry at weren't here, and brutally attacking Glenn would do nothing. Besides, he was practically my baby brother and I couldn't dare harm the kid.

Instead, I fired my first up and hurled it at Rick, crashing it across his cheek, hard. He let out an unearthly yelp, and it caused me to jump back because he was in pain and of course I didn't want that even though I was the one who inflicted it. As Rick gripped his cheek and Glenn stared helpless, I wanted to disappear in that moment, but I knew I couldn't. I had to speak up, "Rick…." I reached my hand up to his cheek and he surprisingly didn't pull away, which caused me to. "I'm sorry I just...panicked. Please… forgive me." Rick nodded a tiny bit, his hand still on his cheek as I looked away. The silence carried out for quite some time, with Glenn looking ready to pass out. I hesitantly reached a hand for Glenn to help him back to his cell while Rick remained motionless, a thoughtful look on his face.

By the time I returned to Rick I expected him to be angry, but instead he only had a determined, pinpointed look in his eyes. "Andrea, I'm going to get Dale back for you. This is not negotiable." I, of course, objected to this, not willing to let Rick out of my sight too. "No way in hell Rick. You're not going alone..I know that's what you meant. No fucking way." Rick shook his head, dropping his hands, "Bullshit Andrea! I can't risk another member of this group and with the baby coming, we need all the protection here." Did he ever listen to anyone? Damn Rick was stubborn. So I decided to propose a compromise. "Fine. You go. I go. Package deal." Rick looked like he seriously was contemplating my offer, but he quickly shook his head no. "/No/, Andrea. It's too dangerous. We don't know what we are up against, and I can't risk losing you. Sorry… but this is how it has to be."

I don't know why I didn't fight him more. Maybe after punching him in the jaw and seeing the betrayed look in his eyes, I couldn't go against him again. Maybe, deep down, it was the fact that if I knew anyone were to find Dale and bring him back to me, it would be Rick, as he always followed through with his promises. Perhaps it was all a mix of that perplexing human nature where we are selfish and caring all at the same time. This time, I chose to be selfish, choosing Dale over Rick's safety, and for that.. I will always feel guilty and regretful.