Dear Gramps,

I'm writing this because Captain Harkness persuaded me that it's a good idea. When you have read this, please don't be cross with the Captain, none of this is down to him, it's all about me, and he's done nothing but help and be kind and understanding of my situation.

I'm not so sure this is what I should be doing, but none of the alternatives seemed better. I don't really know how I can tell you what I need to tell you and make it okay between us afterwards, but I'll cross my fingers and hope.

You've always been so very kind and loving towards me, and I've always appreciated the care you and Nana Doris have provided. You've been more like parents than Mum and her various paramours have ever been, and I love you for that. You've given me access to your home and to your hearts, and you've kept me safe and sane when things have been hard for me at home or at school.

Things have been harder than I ever let on, though. They may get worse still, but I have to pray that eventually it will all mend and we can be friends again. I doubt it will work out that way with Mum and Craig, when I say to them what I'm going to let you in on now.

I know you may want to tell Mum and Craig once you know, but please let me do that in my own time. If I'm to be disowned by them and thrown out, I'd like the opportunity to get my gear together and see to it that I have somewhere to go. I wish I could be sure I'll be able to come to you, but I can't guess how you will feel about me once you know.

I feel weird, because I don't know how you'll respond, or of you'll even want to talk to me or have me around once I explain things. I hope I'm doing the right thing.

So anyway, here goes...

God, I don't know how to say this...

I was born, and someone said I was a boy, but they got it wrong.

There, that's the best way to put it, I think. I am a girl. I've known I was a girl since I was about five. But I had a boy's body, and that was what people looked at and how they defined me. They made plans for me. They had aspirations about what I should do and what I might become. But all that was based on an incorrect assumption, that the person who declared me to be a boy when I was born was right. They weren't, and I'm not.

I don't know what to do about my situation, but something needs to be done, because otherwise I think I am going to end up dramatically unhappy for a very long time, or dead.

I don't know if you are still reading this, or what you are feeling if you are.

I love you very much, you and Doris both. I hope you'll learn to love me too, now that I have decided to try and be who I always have been on the inside. My name is Alicia, and I hope you will some day accept that I am your very loving granddaughter.

Hugs and kisses and lots of love always,

Alicia

(Better known to you as your Grandson, Gordon)

This is a background tale which has escaped from the AU 'Torchlight' online roleplaying game I am participating in. If you are interested in playing please contact either myself or Jessie Blackwood, who is running the game.