Author's Note: This is inspired by a really crazy book I read once, so it may seem a bit like it.

Chapter One

It was winter in blue moon, and it was hot. Really hot. All the soldiers were boiling because of the heat. The trees melted. The houses melted. Colin's plastic chair melted. The sun was a giant ball of flame that was burning the land. Olaf-

Wait a minute.

What?

Blue Moon isn't like that in the winter. Start over.

Fine...

It was winter in blue moon, and it was raining. It rained all day. All the soldiers were drinking from the rainwater accidentally and became really fat. The trees grew. The houses grew. Colin's plastic chair grew. The clouds-

Hold on.

Now what?

Blue Moon isn't like that in winter either. Stop being stupid or I won't read the fic.

Fine, have it your way.

It was winter in blue moon, and it was cold. Really cold. The soldiers were freezing because of the cold. The trees froze. The houses froze. Colin's plastic chair froze. The sun was frozen as well.

Olaf was discussing with Arthas, who had stolen his throne, which was frozen.

"I must have my throne back! Move over!"

"I will never move from this throne. I shall be king forever!"

Grit entered. He slipped and fell on the icy floor. "Ow," he cried.

"Shut up," Olaf said. "And give me my throne back!"

"NEVAR!" Arthas yelled. His voice echoed and made Grit's eardrums explode. A drum solo followed.

"Shut up," Olaf repeated.

"My lobes!" Grit screamed. His voice echoed and made Arthas' eardrums explode.

"Ow!" he said.

"Take that," Grit grinned.

"Shut up," Olaf said yet again. He was so fat and blubbery, with his fat and blubber and santa like beard. He was also a Russian Spy for the IRS.

"I am not!" he yelled, making his fat bulge. "Shut up!" he said again, and tripped and fell because he was so fat.

Wait... wouldn't he trip and fall because of the ice?

No.

But Grit-

Shut up.

Arthas and Grit fixed their ears with Andy's superglue.

"Thanks, Andy!" Grit said.

"No problemo!" Andy said. He turned around and ran into a tree.

How did he run into a tree, you ask?

Actually, I didn't-

Shut up. He ran into a tree because Olaf was growing one in his throne room, until it froze. Actually, Andy didn't run into the tree, but the ice that surrounded the tree.

"Are you okay?" Arthas asked.

Andy didn't respond, because his face got stuck.

"Are you okay?" Arthas asked again.

"I don't think so," Grit said. "Andy? Are you okay?"

Andy couldn't respond. He was stuck to the ice.

"I think he's stuck to the ice," Olaf said.

Obviously.

"Shut up, Narrator!" Olaf said with rage.

That wasn't me. It was the italics guy.

Um... liar.

"I'll kill you both!" Olaf said.

Um... hey look! Colin is yelling for help! Go save him!

"That sounds like Colin!" Grit said.

They all ran away. But not Arthas, because his butt got frozen to the frozen throne, and he got stuck.

"Help!" he wailed. "Please help me!"

But no one went to help him, because he was a thief and a liar and a murderer and had horrible tooth decay. Instead, they went to help Colin.

Colin was sitting on his plastic chair when it had froze, so he got stuck. He was crying in the way Arthas was before.

"Me bum is numb!" he rhymed.

"Cool," Grit said.

"So?" Olaf asked.

"Get me out!" Colin demanded.

"I want cheese and nachos," Olaf said.

"Okay," Colin said. "But first you must rescue me!"

"How?" Grit asked.

"There is a torch in the basement," Colin explained. "Go get it and melt this ice! But not my plastic chair. I love my plastic chair."

"Okay, we'll try," Grit said. "Come along, Olaf."

"I give the orders around here!" Olaf said. "Come along, Olaf. Colin, I except those cheese and nachos when I get back."

He would have said more, but he slipped on the ice floor and fell down the stairs, surviving somehow.

"Oh noes!" Grit cried. "Olaf! I'll save you!"

He took one step and slipped as well.

To be continued! (maybe)