Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach and probably never will.
Yachiru: Sound like fun. Do I get to kill people?
Me: No. Sorry. But you do annoy them. And get candy.
Yachiru: Yay!
The Wrath of Yachiru
Zaraki Kenpachi and Kusajishi Yachiru, were walking though the kitchen when they eyed the pot of soup big enough to fit 3 people in it.
"Look Ken-chan!" Yachiru exclaimed, "A giant pot of soup!"
As Kenpachi is examining the soup, he falls in splashing it everywhere.
"Hmmmph," Kenpachi sighs. "I'm wet."
Yachiru laughs, and pulls him out.
"You're all wet."
The cook suddenly rushes in. He stares at Kenpachi for a minute then suddenly explodes.
"What did you do to my soup? How do you think I can make more in time for dinner? You better help me make more."
Kenpachi sighs and tells Yachiru to sit in the corner, but she soon gets bored, and creates chaos outside. The 13 Court Guard members finally give up and decide to try to watch her.
"Byakushi! Hi!" Yachiru yells as she runs up to him.
"Don't call me that!"
Kuckiki Byakuya gets angry, and throws the little pink haired girl on his back. He flips through his pockets and gives her a piece of confetti candy.
"Yay!" says Yachiru. "Gimme more!"
"I don't have any more."
"Byakushi. I want more."
Wanting more candy, Yachiru starts pulling at his kenseikan(hair noodles) and his hair.
Grumpily, Byakuya pulls Yachiru off him and gives her to Madarame Ikkaku. Excited, Yachiru climbs up his back and starts sucking on his head.
"Get off." Ikkaku says while attempting to dislodge her off his head.
"Hi, pachinko ball."
Yachiru laughs, jumps off his back, and runs off.
"Hey! Get back here!"
"Try to catch me!" Yachiru yells.
Ikkaku gives up knowing he cannot possible chase down that four foot little girl, and walks off.
Yachiru runs and runs laughing with no sign of stopping. She goes to the world of the living to visit Kurosaki Ichigo. She bangs on the door until Ichigo answers.
"Ichi! Do you have candy?"
Confused, Ichigo answers, "No."
Yachiru runs inside the house zooming around searching. She gets frustrated from not finding anything. She then spots Kon.
"Look it's a lion!" Yachiru yells.
She walks over to Kon, picks him up, and squeezes him.
"ARRRRG!" Kon exclaims. "MMMPH! GET OFF ME!"
"Whoa. It talks."
Ichigo explains, "It's a mod- soul. We put him in that body."
"Haha. Let's beat him up," says Yachiru.
She takes her zanpakuto(sword) and slashes him. As fluff starts coming out of his body, Kon runs away.
"NOOOOOO!!!!!!! My perfect body!"
"Oh great. Now I have to go and bring him to Uryu to fix him up." Ichigo sighs, and runs after Kon.
Kon cries, "No! Not Uryu! His sense of fashion is worse than yours."
"GO! ICHI GO!" Yachiru yells after them.
Meanwhile, back in the Seireitei, there is a lot of commotion. They could not find the Lieutenant of 11th division anywhere. Where could Yachiru have gone?
Yachiru runs off to Urahara Shoten. Looking around, she spots Chad who is super tall. Seeing it as an opportunity to see things as a tall person, she scrambles up his back.
"Hi Muscles!" Yachiru smiles while holding on to Chad's head.
Chad who has a soft spot for cute things smiled. Yachiru is cute.
"Giddyup!" Yachiru laughs.
Chad walks around the room bouncing up and down. Yachiru gets bored eventually (Ken-chan is taller), and decides to return to Soul Society. Once she gets there, Hitsugaya Toshiro spots her.
"Yachiru! Come here! I have a present!" Toshiro smiled as he yelled.
"What is it?" Yachiru asks cautiously.
Toshiro holds up a giant rainbow swirly lollipop.
"Candy! Thanks!" Yachiru yells happily.
Hoping that the lollipop will keep Yachiru stationary and quiet Toshiro hands it over. To his horror, somehow Yachiru managed to eat it in one bite and stared at him hopefully.
Toshiro sighs. This is going to take a lot of money. He goes and buys about 50 more.
"I'll give you more, but only if you eat it slowly.," Toshiro states. "Do you agree to my terms?"
With eyes filled with excitement, Yachiru nods. She sits down and slowly licks each lollipop.
"This is good." Yachiru smiles.
Staring at Yachiru, who is eating lollipops at the rate of three every ten minutes, Toshiro starts getting hungry. He didn't want to go anywhere and leave Yachiru alone. Who knows where she might go to? Might as well eat some of the lollipops.
As Yachiru and Toshiro sit and eat lollipops, Hinamori Momo walks by.
"Hey Shiro-chan and Yachiru," Momo says.
"Momo! Look! Toshiro gave me lollipops," Yachiru said.
"Shiro-chan. You're going to get fat from eating so much," Momo replies laughing.
"Shut up Momo. I'm keeping you-know-who quiet," Toshiro says.
"Oooooooo," Yachiru says, "Secret. I want to know. Tell me."
"No," Toshiro answers,
Angrily, Yachiru runs off with the lollipops. She runs to the field and sees Rukia and Renji frolicking in the meadows.
"This is stupid," Renji declares.
Smiling, Rukia replies, "I agree with you."
"Then why did you suggest it in the first place!" Renji exclaims.
Yachiru smiles, amused at the show. Renji notices her, and dashes over.
"Hey Yachiru, What are you up to?" Renji asks her.
"Want to fight?" Yachiru smirks.
Renji smiles. How can a little girl defeat his Zabimaru? Maybe he could distract her and teach her a lesson too.
"Alright. Winner is the one that can strike the other with their blade first," Renji replies.
"You're going down!" Yachiru smiles. "If I win you have to give me candy."
"Go Zabimaru!" Renji yells as his zanpakuto fans out.
Yachiru ducks and runs away. She whips out her zanpakuto, and charges silently toward Renji's back.
"Where'd did that little girl go?" Renji muttered to himself.
Suddenly, Renji feels wind on his back. He turns around surprised to see Yachiru standing right behind him striking him with her blade.
"I won. You owe me candy," Yachiru announces.
Ranji has no choice but to bring her to the store, and buy her a piece of candy. Happily, Yachiru skips away.
In the evening, the 13 Court Guard members have a meeting about what to do with Yachiru. Kenpachi was still making soup in the kitchens.
"We should lock her up," Byakuya suggests.
Renji replied, "Good idea, but where?"
"What about in the bathroom?" Ikkaku asks.
Since all the prison cells were occupied, everyone agreed. What other choice did they have? They cornered Yachiru, and told her a secret.
"Yachiru, there's a Christmas present for you in the bathroom."
"But, Christmas is 9 months away," Yachiru says, confused.
"Its erm…. a …..St. Patrick's Day present?" Rukia says nervously.
Everyone looks at Rukia, confused. What in the world is St. Patrick's Day? Rukia gives them all a look that says "Play Along."
Yachiru shrugs and walks into the bathroom. Byakuya slams the door shut and padlocks it. Everyone is relieved.
"Hey! There's no present here!" Yachiru cries angrily.
The Court Guard members slowly walk away. Suddenly, Yachiru appears behind them.
"Boo!" she yells.
Ikakku screams, "WE FORGOT THERE WAS A WINDOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The 13 Court Guard members sighed. This was going to be a very long night.
The End
Me: Like the story?
Ikakku: You bugged us to death.
Toshiro: You emptied my wallet.
Byakuya: You messed up my hair.
Renji: You made me frolic in the meadows and get beat by the little squirt.
Yachiru: I loved it!
Review please.