Memories of a Lost Brother
A/N: First ever Roswell fic! I have become obsessed with that show… seriously. Anyways, this is mostly based on Maria and Alex, two of my fave characters and obviously the episode 'Cry Your Name' which is also one of my faves. Bear in mind I haven't actually seen the entire season, just bits and bobs (need to finish watching) so sorry if there are any mistakes. Sorry it's so short!
Disclaimer: This may come as a shock, but I do not own Roswell…
-
She'd been the first to find out, first to scream, first to have tears flow down her cheeks. Then she'd been quiet. Not eaten, not worked, and not slept without the same nightmare awakening her time and time again. It was too much to take in. How could Alex be dead? Why the hell had she and Liz left him that day? There were too many questions spinning webs over her confused and defused mind.
Maria had always been closest to Alex. When the truth first came out about Max, it was Alex she wanted to tell, nobody else. Then somehow in the mess of trying to live a normal life and be happy, she'd let Michael get between their friendship. He was her boyfriend, but that didn't mean he had a right to come between them. Even Max had somehow become more of a priority. It was crazy.
And now Alex was gone, she felt hollowed out; sick of everything around her. The police had decided he killed himself… that was just something she couldn't believe, wouldn't believe. A lie, she knew. This feeling of guilt kept creeping into her stomach and as hard as she tried to stop it, it wouldn't go away. Guilt for all the times she'd chosen to hang out with Michael instead of Alex, guilt for all the missed calls she'd been too busy partying to pick up. And most of all, guilt for not listening to him when he needed someone, which he obviously did. Though she refused to believe Alex had committed suicide, Maria knew he hadn't been the same old Alex she knew and loved.
Reminding herself of the day he came back from Sweden, how happy he'd been, Maria wanted to cry and smile at the same time. He'd been putting on an act, she realized. Why hadn't she seen through it?
She sang at his funeral, willing her voice to hold out and not crack from the unwilling tears that just wouldn't stop coming. It would've been wrong if she hadn't sang. Alex was her biggest supporter, always first in line to hear anything new, and she did the same for him. Which reminded her of a time not so long ago, a time when she'd thought she'd lost him. Finding that demo disk alone there on the counter … it had made her want to scream. But of course, he'd come back not even knowing he (and everyone else in Roswell) had ever disappeared.
This time he wasn't coming back.
Ever.
THE END