Pansy the Poodle didn't need binoculars to tell that the woman who was leaving the French holiday villa was Caroline: her impeccable posture, sharp business-like clothing, and, of course, her distinctive medium-length flowing olive hair, all identified her as the infamous Green Mistress. She had a simple, yet still stylish, black handbag hanging from her shoulder and she was calmly walking down the pathway from the villa towards the two agents in the car. The two looked at each other, both French and British agent aware of how critical this opportunity was. They nodded solemnly at each other, and then flung the car doors open and leapt out, ready to apprehend the Green Mistress.
But she had already vanished.
Simon the Skunk banged a paw against the car in frustration and the two agents rushed towards the gate where Caroline had been just moments before. Simon began to growl angrily but Pansy held up a paw and sniffed the air intently. After a few moments, she picked up what she was looking for: the unmistakable smell of the rich and sophisticated. Caroline's scent.
Pansy began to follow her nose, Simon close behind, and they were led through the forest of trees that surrounded the villa. Pansy could feel the scent getting stronger, little by little, as they closed in on their target. But slowly, the trees began to thin out, and they soon found themselves in a bustling French marketplace.
The two animal agents were surrounded by stalls selling fruits, breads, strong-smelling herbs and spices. There was a host of colours and smells that all served as distractions for the agents' senses. Caroline's scent seemed to have disappeared too. Pansy growled in frustration while Simon scanned the stalls frantically for their target.
Then Pansy spotted a man selling little perfume bottles.
The two agents rushed over to the stall and brandished a picture of Caroline in front of him. Slightly flustered, he confirmed the woman had just bought a particular bottle of perfume from him, 'Eau De Steak De Boeuf', a scent Pansy was acutely familiar with. But before the man could rope them into buying something, Pansy picked up the direction the new scent had gone and the two of them raced to follow it.
They reached a fork in the road, but the scent seemed to go in both directions. After a moment's hesitation, Pansy pointed for Simon to check the right and she went left, where the scent was slightly stronger.
On the left route, the scent quickly got more intense. Pansy could tell she was getting close. Her nose told her Caroline was right around the next corner. Pansy broke into a run, turned the corner, and leapt fiercely at the woman standing there...
Except it wasn't Caroline. Pansy looked down at the stumpy woman she had just tackled, and then up at the cafe the woman and what seemed to be her husband has just arrived at, both the husband and an angry waiter were both shouting in unintelligible French. She sniffed once more, to confirm her worst suspicions: yes, this woman was wearing the perfume too. Her nose had been tricked.
Simon, meanwhile, had not been hopeful, but he turned a corner onto a main street and saw a flash of green hair halfway down it, among a scattering of people. Caroline turned and their gazes met for a moment, surprise flashing across her face as if she didn't expect him to follow her. Then she turned away and began walking briskly away from him. Simon sprinted towards her, getting close just as she disappeared into an alleyway. A few seconds later, he reached it too, and turned into it, expecting to see at least a flash of bright hair in his field of vision...
But the alleyway was a dead end, and there was nobody to be seen.
The Green Mistress had escaped again.
"We don't know what Doof is up to, only that he's spending the day with that green-haired lady, so find out if he's up to anything evil and, if he is, put a stop to it. Monogram out."
Perry scarcely remembered that mission briefing from the morning; it was as much a part of his daily routine as brushing one's teeth and having breakfast. In fact, Perry was already flying towards Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, the morning air cool and refreshing. The image of the green-haired lady Monogram was referring to popped into his mind and he smiled, thinking back to the couple of memories he had involving her.
Caroline Fletcher. Doof's latest girlfriend and, surprisingly, one with whom the eccentric inventor had maintained a relationship for longer than one chapter (of his life, of course). Her most significant trait was, of course, her emerald-coloured hair, just like Ferb's. And she was quiet, just like Ferb. And she was good with tools, like Ferb.
Huh, she's an adult woman version of Ferb, Perry realised, as he turned his hovercar to land in a parking spot near the foot of the DEI building (Perry rarely crashed through the walls these days). What are the odds?
But more surprising than the rare, cartoon-like trait of striking similarity between two characters was how much she liked Doof. As he stood in the elevator, Perry thought back to how she had listened with such genuine fascination as Doof rambled about his numerous backstories and curious observations. And he remembered how she'd had a girlish fascination with one of Doof's inators as the two took a look under its hood. For such an apparently refined woman, she sure had a childish side.
"Hey, Perry the Platypus. Right on time, as always," Doof said cheerily. "We were just talking about you. You remember Caroline, right?"
He indicated towards her, and she gave Perry a smile and a little wave. She was wearing the same simple, striking dress as she wore last time, and Perry had to admit that the two of them together looked good. Happy. Even Doof's face seemed stuck in a permanent cheesy grin rather than his usual sinister one. Perry tipped his hat to Caroline in response to her little wave.
She really did seem familiar, but Perry couldn't place her.
"No time to trap you though, Perry the Platypus, Cat and I have an appointment at Paul Bunion's and we don't want to miss it. That's Caroline's nickname, by the way. 'Cat'. I like it, reminds me of my Great Aunt Cheshire Doofenshmirtz. Which is weird because she was allergic to cats. "
It was the first part of that mini-ramble that caused Perry to raise an eyebrow. No trap?
"And I've already given the whole backstory to Cat as we were building the device. Basically when I was young, I could always count on my local hairdresser to make my appearance even worse, and funnily enough, he's now moved his salon here, so behold, the Hairstylist-Doom-inator!"
Perry raised his other eyebrow. No backstory either?
But there was no time to decide whether he was glad or upset by that. The Doom-inator looked dangerous and, while he could thwart the scheme of any average day, Perry wasn't sure whether he could get through Caroline as well.
But she seemed passive enough. How slippery could she be?
With an impossible springiness, he leapt up at Doofenshmirtz, fist outstretched towards the scientist's prominent chin. It connected, sending him staggering backwards. Caroline swiftly moved to block his path, fists raised in a practised defensive stance. Perry hesitated. Could he hit her? But his hesitation lasted only for a moment, as she was, after all evil, and he began launching punches, kicks, and tail swipes in an attempt to break her defence.
But fighting her was a strange sensation. She defended professionally, but Perry got the sense that she was out of synch with her ability. She didn't try to fight back and hurt Perry either. Maybe she was rusty? The agent saw Doof struggling to his feet, massaging his sore chin, and resolved to get past Caroline. Faking a punch, Perry instead slid through her legs, making a mad dash for the inator.
But suddenly it began charging. Perry spun round and saw Caroline had a remote in hand pointed towards the inator, her finger firmly pressing the button on it. Instinctively, Perry knew he was too late to reach the inator.
The Hairstylist-Doom-inator began to hum threateningly in a rising tone. Perry realised with a start that he didn't even know what terrible thing the inator would do. He could only watch it fire a beam at the Hairdressers in defeat.
He winced and turned away, bracing himself for the resulting inevitable chaos...
But it never came. Cautiously, Perry turned towards the salon. It looked completely unaffected.
"Success!" Doofenshmirtz exclaimed triumphantly. "Now their opening hours will be unfeasible for anyone wanting a haircut, and within no time at all, they'll be out of business!" He and Caroline high-fived, both childishly giddy with glee.
"Anyway, we better get going." Doof tossed a set of keys to Perry. "Feel free to destroy the inator. Lock up when you're done, Perry the Platypus. Thanks, you're a mensch."
And with that, the couple departed, neither looking away from the eyes of the other, leaving a thoroughly perplexed platypus in the middle of the apartment.