This is my first Fanfic. It is also a work in progress and there is a lot more to come. I hope you all enjoy! 3 =]

Things have been good lately, for the most part. Or at least I keep telling myself that. I mean, I got into Yale, senior prom just passed, nationals and graduation are coming up, I am starting to walk again! I am so happy that I can even say that...me, walking again. A weight has been lifted. Yet, even with all the incredible things happening, I still feel as though I am missing something, and I know what it is, or I should say...WHO it is. But, how do I get her?

May 11, 2012

Diary,

It is currently 3:44a.m. I am tired but, insomnia is getting the best of me. My mind is racing. Prom was three days ago and Rachel won prom queen. God did she look beautiful, sexy...anyway, in all technicality; I won, beating Santana by one vote, Rachel's vote. Well, before San and I counted the votes, Rachel texted me and asked her to meet her in the hall by the Spanish room, so I did. I always try to act slightly bitchy, regardless of the situation, it gets harder and harder every time I talk to her now, I am pretty sure it didn't even come off as bitchy at all. I try to avoid even talking to her much to begin with even though we are actually REALLY good friends, we can tell each other just about anything. I trust her even more than San, Brit or even Mercedes. Well, she wanted to apologize for being a royal bitch about freaking out that Finn and I were campaigning together for Prom King and Queen. So, not only did she apologize but, she stopped me as I was trying to escape before things got too heavy. She went on about what I mean to her and how I am the best thing that she achieved over the past four years. I melted. I was at a loss of words. Here is this girl, this drop dead gorgeous creature, standing right in front of me confessing how she feels, how she is SO incredibly proud of our being friends and all I can do is stare. So, of course, San walks by with the ballot boxes ready for us to count the votes and, me regretting ever so much telling San how I fell about Miss Berry, chimes in with "Stop making-out with Berry and get in to the Spanish room..." Really? And all Rachel did was get this big adorable dopey smile on her face and walk off...I wanted to stop her, to grab her hand, something...but off she went and all I could do was watch her go, speechless. Well, as we were counting votes, after I found out I won the one thing I have wanted more than ALMOST anything the past four years, I decided to have a heart to heart with San and we made Rachel win. San understood, she would have done it for Brittany. It was so worth it. She looked like a real queen, an angel even, with that crown on her head. I wish I could have danced with her, but instead, considering my complications and...Finn..., San and I picked out a song in the Spanish room to sing for her, "Take My Breath Away", perfect as far as feelings go. So, while singing, I stood up, in front of everyone, just to get her attention, so I could see her over the crowd, and she looked, she stared at me, clapped, smiled, longer than she probably should have, but she did. I scared the hell out of Santana too, oops. It has been getting so hard to hide my feelings for Rachel anymore; I don't know how much longer I can handle it. I have a lot of thinking to do. I need to try and sleep on it. So, good night Diary. 3

Love,

Quinn

P.S. Maybe I have a way to get in by comforting Rachel, making her realize she is still worth something. Make her see she can't give up her dream. Poor thing, she choked so bad on her NYADA audition. I just wanted to hug her and make things right. =[ I'll fix it, I will find a way! Lucy Quinn Fabray does not accept failure. =]

Oh good Lord! I really need to do something about this lack of sleep thing. I am going to fall asleep in my locker.

"Quinn?"

Oh God, it's her, where the hell did she come from? WAKE UP QUINN! "Yes? Oh, hey Rachel!"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can." And here comes my dopey smile, fight it Fabray!

"Do you think it was just a joke? You know, me winning Prom Queen? That should have been you up there. I didn't even know that many people even knew who I was, let alone my name. I'm not popular and pretty like you Quinn. I just don't get it."

I debated on telling her that me and Santana set it up. "You are a bigger star than you know Rach. And whether you know it or not, you are beautiful, inside and out. It's not hard to believe all those people know who you are."

"I'm not a star. That hope, that dream is gone. There is-"

"Rachel, look at me. Just because you didn't nail the NYADA audition doesn't mean anything. You have a gift; you have a talent that so many people wish they could even skim the surface of. You, Rachel Berry were born to be a star. You know that, I know that. Don't you dare give up on that."

"I don't kn-"

I grabbed her hand, I saw San walk by and she just gave me her typical smirk. I got nervous, butterflies. "You are coming with me after school. You are going to come with me to my physical therapy and then to my house. I need to show you that, you can never give up. I am going to help you through this."

"Ok. I can drive us."

She gave me that gorgeous over excited smile that I love so much. I couldn't help but return it. She gave me a tight long hug and skipped away. I just stared after her, lost in thought and feelings.

"So, what was that whole little eye sex moment about with gay Berry?

Santana made me jump about twenty feet out of my chair. My mind was still spinning with the smell of Rachel's perfume. I ignored her snide little remark and answered normally. "Rachel asked me if I thought it was a joke that she won prom Queen and-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, you didn't tell your little lesbian crush that we rigged it did you? The last thing we need is someone finding out is that we gave her the crown."

"If you would have let me continue, Santana, I was going to tell you that, I told her ..." I am always hesitant telling San personal information but, she was one of my best friends. "...She was a star and of course everyone knew who she was. And she is also coming home with me today and-"

"Ok, I know that you can still function down there in the girl parts but, I really don't need to know about you and Berry's sex life."

"SANTANA! I am trying to keep her from giving up on her dream!"

"Right and I'm the Virgin Mary."

I couldn't help but laugh along with Santana. I know she is just being the sarcastic bitch she always is; I will always love that about her. She walked with me English class. When she sat down next to me, she gave me a look that told me she knew what I was saying earlier and also a look she rarely lets show, she doesn't want me to get hurt.

I whispered to her, "I'll be fine San. I promise."

She leaned over to me and put her forehead to mine. "I know you will Fabray."

We smiled and got to work. This day is going great so far, to top it off, it is only a half day.

So, the last bell just rang. I'm on my way to the choir room for rehearsal and out of nowhere; my chair seems to be fighting me.

"Where do you think you are going Miss Fabray?"

"What? Let...Oh, hey. What are you doing? We are going to be late for rehearsal."

"Forget rehearsal. Let's get out of here."

"Now? But, my physical therapy isn't for two more hours. Everyone is going to be looking for us."

"So what? I kind of, made a plan earlier. It's a surprise!"

"Oh. Ok, But-"

"Just going with it Quinn."

At this point I didn't really have a choice; Rachel had already taken control over my wheelchair and was pushing me towards the parking lot she parked in. I wasn't going to fight it. Honestly, this was great. I haven't had a day with Rachel for a long time, freshman year. I am still shocked that we were skipping out on glee. Butterflies formed in my stomach, I wouldn't trade it for anything. Rachel just about started running with me once we got out of the doors. It was beautiful out, sunny, warm and just perfect.

"Get in, I'll put the chair in the trunk."

"Ok."

She popped the trunk and ran back over to me. "Here are the keys. You can start the car and listen to the radio if you want."

"Thanks."

We shared a quick smile and she ran back to the trunk. She was in quite the rush. It was so cute. I put the key in the ignition and turned it for the radio. "I'll Be" by Edwin McCain was playing. I blushed, it was a song Rachel and I used to sing way back in our freshman year. Every time I heard it, I thought of her. I always kind of considered it our song. Rachel got in the car, looked at the radio and then me.

"Do you remember, our freshman year?"

"Yes! I was just thinking that! I am surprised you remember that."

She gave me a funny look. "Of course I do. I am honestly shocked that you remember that."

I looked down at my lap and glanced over at her. "It was one of the best memories I have."

I looked up and we smiled at each other. "Shall we go Miss Fabray?"

I just nodded. I was suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. Rachel and I were working our way to an amazing friendship our freshman year, and then I got all these feelings for her, joined cheer leading and met San and Brit, and pushed her aside. Because I was a coward, I was afraid. That is the one thing I can say I honestly regret more than anything. Not even having sex with Puck and getting pregnant with Beth. That was just a lesson, letting go of Rachel and treating her the way I did, especially the way I felt about her, was so wrong. There hasn't been a day I haven't been disappointed in myself for doing that to her. And the thing that hurts the most, she never gave up on me. And it may sound really selfish, but I am really glad she didn't.

"Everything ok Quinn? Do you want me to turn around or take you home? I'll understand if you do. I shouldn't have-"

"Rachel, I want more than anything to be here right now. I am glad you surprised me. I was...I just got caught up in thinking. I'm sorry."

"It's perfectly fine. I was just worried you didn't want this."

"I do." I reached over and grabbed her hand, not really thinking, and just held on to it. When I realized, I just hoped it wasn't bothering her, it didn't years ago.

"Quinn, can I ask you a question?"

I was always afraid of her questions. I'm not sure why but, I always had a feeling it was going to be something bad. "Rachel, you never have to ask if you can ask me a question, just ask."

"Oh, Ok." She smiled. "If you were me, in my shoes I mean, would you get married? I know we talked about this before and you told me not to. But that was a when everything was new and fresh. Now that I am level headed and I have you alone, I just want to know what you really think."

This was going to be hard. I wanted more than anything to get her away from Finn, but I can't hurt her. "Honestly Rachel, I don't want to hurt you. I don't think this is the best thing to talk about."

"Please?" She gave me a pleading glace.

I gave in. "No, Rachel. No I wouldn't. It's hard to explain. I just, I have a really strong feeling that if you get married, you will end up regretting it. I know what it feels like to regret something that seemed like a good thing at the time. It is a horrible feeling and I feel like a terrible person for just pushing you away and the way I have treated you. I'm sorry Rachel. Thank you for never giving up on me and always being there for me! You have made me the person, the good person, I am today. Without you, I don't know where I would be. You changed me. I love you so much Rachel Barbra Berry and I just can't lose-"

What just happened? Did that really just come out of my mouth? Oh my GOD! Kill me now! Please. Just take me out of my misery! I looked over at Rachel, maybe I was dreaming; maybe I fell asleep in the car and this isn't happening. Nothing like this has ever happened before. What do I do? Rachel…what is going through her head? I looked over to her, my mouth agape, in shock. She was just looking at the road. Almost as if nothing I had said, came out of my mouth.

"Rach?" I was desperate; I needed her to say something. I stared longingly at her.

We pulled up to her house. She got out, walked around to my side and opened the door for me. I let her help me out and she helped me walk up to her house. Her right arm wrapped tightly around my waist, my left arm around her shoulders. She reached up and held on to my hand with her free hand. We walked to her family room and she sat me down on the couch. I just watched her go upstairs and, after what seemed like forever, come back down with a bag. She was gone to long though. Too many thoughts raced through my mind. She had changed clothes. It looked like a dress you would wear over a bathing suit…she was wearing a bathing suit. She sat down next to me, grabbed my hands and looked right into my eyes. All bad feeling gone, I melted.

"Lucy Quinn Fabray." She looked down at our hands and smirked. I looked at our hands too. It felts so nice to hold her hands. "I know that it was your work that won me Prom Queen, of course with a little help form Santana."

I looked up at her, shocked. "But, how…how could you know that? Only Sant-"

"I know. Santana talked to me earlier today. She told me everything."

I swallowed hard. I was going to kill Santana the next time I saw her. "Please, for the love of all that is good, tell me what 'everything' is. Please?"

"I will." She gave a teasing smile, let go of my hands and threw a bathing suit at me. "Go change first."

I grabbed the bathing suit in one hand, look at Rachel and just smiled like a love struck fool. She helped me up and walked me over to the bathroom to change. On second hand, maybe I will just give Santana a great big hug.

After I had changed, Rachel walked me out to the car just as she had walked me in to her house. After getting adjusted in the car and a few long moments of silence, Rachel finally started telling me what Santana told her.

"So, sorry for dragging out the suspense. I was just thinking of how to word things. Plus we still have and hour and a half before we have to be at your appointment."

She giggled very quietly and reached over and patted my knee. At that moment, I was so happy I was regaining feeling in my legs.

"Santana told me how you won by one vote. And what I don't get is, everyone knew how bad you wanted that crown. And you won it Quinn but, you gave it to me. You really care about me that much? I always though we were just barely friends and then here you go, giving me the one thing that means the most to you." She looked at me, I knew she wanted and answer.

"Why did you put off your wedding for me? Even before you found out about the accident, you waited too long and lost your space. Why would you give that up?"

I know it wasn't what she was looking for but, I made a good point.

"How did you know about that?" She looked confused.

"Santana."

"I should have figured as much. So I guess we are on the same level?" She giggled. "Fine, I was hoping that you would show up and stop me. You are the only one that could have and you did. I love Finn, I do but, I just have this feeling that, I can't stay with him, our time is coming to an end."

She looked at me and smiled. Does that mean that I have hope?

"You make me happy Rach. You make me a better person, when things get too out of control for me, you show up and stop me from getting carried away. I honestly can't give you just one reason why I would do that for you, there are just, so many."

She reached over and held my hand. I looked down at our hands, tangled together. I picked them up and gave the back of her hand a kiss. She looked over smiled and blushed. My phone started ringing. I reached into my bag and pulled it out. I missed the call.

"Oh crap!"

"What's wrong?" Her eyebrows furrowed.

"I have 10 missed calls! I think glee is having a heart attack." I let out a laugh.

Rachel laughed too. "Hey, grab my phone too."

I reached over her, it was on her left leg. I accidentally brushed across her lap, she shivered.

"You have 10 too and 5 texts from Finn. Wait, did you not tell him where you were going?"

"Ha, oops. I guess I didn't." She reached over and grabbed her phone and tossed in in her back seat.

I looked back. It bounced off the seat and onto the floor under her seat. I tossed mine back too. We laughed and just kept driving until we got to the lake.

Rachel piggy backed me down to the water. I was honestly shocked she could carry me. I sat uselessly on the grass while she spread out the blanket for us to lay out on. We stripped down to just bathing suits and relaxed. We had an hour until my appointment. I looked over at Rachel hesitantly, I didn't want to ogle at her, it was so hard though. She looked so gorgeous at that moment. She had smooth tanned skin, warm, soft.

"Rachel?"

"Hmm?" She was on her stomach with her face in her arm.

"You know, you are going to have to talk to Finn sooner or later. You can't just keep pulling him along, making him think everything is ok."

Rachel propped herself up on her elbows and looked over at me. "I know. But, for now, I'm happy, I am with my friend and we are having an amazing time. You know, if you want, you can spend the night tonight. We can have a nice weekend together. You know, before nationals and graduation, just one weekend to have fun and forget everything else."

I really liked the sound of that but, there was that dreaded word, "friend". How do I get away from that? "That sounds great. But, how about you stay at my house tonight? My mom is out of town and then tomorrow, if you want I can stay at yours. Maybe we can figure something out for Sunday night as well and we can just carpool to school on Monday."

"I really like the sound of that." She collapsed back into her arm.

I closed my eyes and soaked up some sun. A few seconds later Rachel spoke up.

"You know, you are leading Joe on too. I know you don't feel the same way about him as he does you, but you don't try and tell him that the feelings aren't mutual."

She really did have a point. I think I just enjoyed having his company. No one else has bothered to go with me to my appointments. "You're right. I'll have to talk to him about that Monday."

We turned on some music and enjoyed laying in the sun and relaxing until we were rushing to get to my appointment.

"Hey Rach! Do you want me to check your phone?"

She gave a ponderous look. I'm not sure if she actually thought about it or she was just being silly. "No, I'll check it later tonight when I plug it in to charge it."

I smiled and shook my head. She confused me so much but, I love it.

I told her where my appointment was. When we got there, she got my chair out of the trunk and came and opened my door and helped me into my seat. She insisted on pushing me the entire time we were there. She helped me do my stretches. She was so gentle and caring about it. She kissed both or my knees and gave me a shy smile.

"What was that for?"

She looked down and looked incredibly shy. It was one of the cutest things I have ever seen before.

"I was just thinking of when I was little; my dad's would kiss me better when I got hurt. I kind of figure I would try it." She looked back up at me. "Don't laugh?"

"I wouldn't laugh at that. That is really sweet, actually." I reached out for her to help me up. Once I was sitting I grabbed her and pulled her into a hug. "Thank you Rachel, for everything today." I let go and gave her a big smile.

She smiled back and gave me another big tight hug. The smell of her perfume made me dizzy; it was amazing, sweet, flowery and light. I could never get used to the way she makes me feel. It is heavenly.

"Quinn, does it still hurt? You know, to try and walk and stand and all that?"

"Not so much anymore. It gets better every day. I'll be up and dancing by nationals. I promise."

She took my hands and we practiced walking. It was almost as if I forgot I was ever hurt with her in front of me, guiding me. Way better than using the bars.

"Rachel? Do you want to go out to eat for dinner tonight?" I bit my lip hoping so badly she would say yes.

"It would be my honor." She gave a little curtsy and smiled to her ears.

Oh, Rachel Berry. How I wish so badly I knew what was going on in that pretty little head of yours.

While Rachel was pushing me down the hall to the car, she suddenly stopped and came around in front of me.

"I feel weird asking this, but I have been wanting to for a while. And since you won't be in the chair much longer….I was wondering if I could…Well, take a ride…on your lap?" She was definitely hesitant asking. I think she was afraid I would just laugh and say no, or pull a usual Quinn.

"Hop on Madame." I held my hand out to help her. She draped her left arm around my shoulders and hung her legs over mine to our left. She leaned back into my side, so I could still see. "Now, I am warning you, I am probably going to go really slow and there is a chance I may crash into a wall. I will try my hardest to give you a good time though little lady."

We both laughed. I could feel the vibrations of her laughing on my lap. It is amazing how much I can feel in my legs now. Even over a weeks' time, I have gained a lot of feeling. I took off, it was a slow start but, then I got going and it was fun actually. Rachel stopped looking down the hall and looked at me. We weren't far from the exit and I slowed down to a stop.

"Everything ok Rach?"

"Yea, it's just-" She took her free hand and placed it on my cheek and placed her forehead on mine. "Thank you." And he kissed my other cheek and then leaned onto my shoulder. "You made me realize that, I can't give up on my dreams. Being here, seeing you work so hard and seeing that you will be walking on your own so soon. You are living proof that you can achieve your goals. You never gave up Quinn. You fought and you made it this far. I now believe that, I can too."

This is exactly what I was hoping for. Her find her way, making her see what she really wants and making sure she doesn't give up her dreams. And that kiss on my cheek…it was like fire and ice. It was sweet and gentle.

"I'll help you get back on track with your dream Rach. I promise." I leaned my cheek on the top of her head. I breathed in the sweet scent of her perfume and shampoo. It was just, all Rachel. I didn't want to move. I could have just stayed right here like this forever. It's funny, we probably would have stayed like that a bit longer, but we both got a strange feeling that we were being watched. Crazy I know, but nonetheless, we decided to go.

We stopped by Rachel's house so she could get some clothes and essentials to stay at my house. While we were there, he dads offered for me to stay over both Saturday and Sunday. They were so great. Rachel is lucky to have the loving family she has. Once we got back to my place we got ready to go out to eat at Breadsticks. I had though earlier I would like to use my cane and try walking a bit more, but with the chances of Rachel wanting another ride, I didn't want to chance missing that. When we arrived at Breadsticks we were seated at a pretty big table, considering it was just Rachel and I. We slid around to the middle and sat together.

"Quinn?"

"Yes my dear?" I put my arm around her shoulders and leaned back a little so I could look at her. She was radiant tonight, beautiful.

"Do you consider this a date?" She had her serious face on. Oh crap. I guess without actually saying it, it was like a date. What do I say? I don't want to freak her out, but I don't want to disappoint her if she wants it to be.

"Answering this question could kill me Berry." I smiled. She looked down at her hand on her lap almost as if she were sulking. Crap! "But, at risk of weirding you out. Yes. Is that ok?"

She looked up with the biggest smile I have seen her wear all day. "That sounds lovely Miss Fabray." She leaned her head on my shoulder and reached over and held my free hand.

"Crap! Rachel, look who just walked in." I whispered franticly.

"What? Oh no. Kurt! If he sees us, He'll tell Finn! Blaine might talk him out of it though. Just ignore them."

The funny thing is, she didn't move away from me. She continued holding my hand and just relaxed back into me. I couldn't help but relax back into place too. We didn't even pay attention to where Kurt and Blain went.

"Rachel? Quinn? What are you two doing here…like this?" Blaine seems incredibly confused. "Everyone was looking for you two earlier today in Glee. Haven't either of you looked at your phones?" He sat down at our booth quickly. I was just wondering where Kurt went.

"We just wanted to get away, take a break from everyone and everything for a day." Rachel seemed so confident in what she was saying. As if we weren't holding hands and leaning into each other, like we were sitting on opposite sides of the table.

"You should have told someone though. Everyone was, IS, very worried about you both." His face said it all. Everyone was worried. "And, not to be rude or anything, but why are you two…" He gestured to us "…like this?"

I looked down at Rachel and she just looked down and smirked a little bit. It looks like this one is up to me. "We are just enjoying each other's company. Making up for lost times and enjoying a nice day, night, before we graduate."

Blaine gave me an unsure look. "Oh…ok. Well you two enjoy your night. I have to hurry up and get back to Kurt. I saw you two and said I had to use the little boys room." He laughed, got up and started walking off. I remembered what Rachel had said about Kurt telling Finn.

"BLAINE!" Crap, I hope that wasn't so loud that Kurt heard my voice.

He heard me and ran back quickly. "What is it?"

"Do us a favor, please? Don't tell Kurt you saw us. We don't want things to get messy."

He gave a look as if things just hit him, he understood my intentions. "Sure. Ok, of course."

He smiled, waved and walked off. Our waitress came over and gave us out bill. I wouldn't let Rachel see it. She keep trying anyway. "Hey, this is a date isn't it? I'm paying! I asked you!"

"Quinn, let me see it! I brought money!"

I leaned way far back and had to catch myself on the seat with my elbow. Rachel had been following me back and when I lost my balance and fell back, she fell too. She caught herself better than me, but she was still hovering above me. Her long dark hair fell and made a curtain around my head. I just looked up and smiled, she returned the smile and let out a loud laugh. Once we messily got ourselves back up, we situated the payment. I paid the bill and Rachel left the tip. She was overly happy to help. As we were getting ready to leave, Rachel helped me back into my chair. I made a little suggestion.

"Hey, Rachel? Want another ride? You know, just so it's easier to escape without Kurt seeing us? We will be lower."

She looked at me and rolled her eyes. "You don't need to make up silly excuses Quinn." Then she sat down just as before. She looked at me, eyes locked. She leaned down and kissed me. It was just a little peck, but oh how the sparks flew! "Thank you Quinn." She whispered in my ear. All I could do is smile.

We hurried outside and to the car. We escaped unnoticed. Thank God!

When we got back to my house, we took turns showering and put pajamas on. Rachel went first and while I was in the shower I told her to pick out a movie for us to watch when I got out.

I turned the water off and I heard Rachel yell in to me, "I picked one! Do you have any popcorn?"

I opened the curtain and started drying off and laughed. The popcorn was very random line. "Yes! It's in the kitchen pantry. If you want to wait, I'll make it once I am dressed!"

"I got it!" I heard her run out of my room. I couldn't help but laugh again. I got dressed as quickly as I could and brushed my hair. By the time I got out of the bathroom, Rachel was sitting comfortably on my bed munching on popcorn, remote in hand waiting to start the movie she picked out. I expected it to be 'Funny Girl' and was shocked to find out it was 'Black Swan'. I got excited. I love this movie.

"Have you ever seen this movie before?"

Rachel looked over at me and smirked. "Yes. It fascinates me."

"Oh yea? Me too. And the dancing is beautiful. The plus is that Mila is hot." I tried to hold back a smirk and looked over at Rachel. He jaw dropped a little bit. Then she nodded in agreement. Rachel finally pressed play and we stared getting into the movie, occasionally sharing a comment. I wish I knew what was going on in Rachel's head sometimes, that way I can be prepared for her, very common and unexpected questions.

"So, now knowing that you like me, are you bi or just into girls? I have always kind of had my suspicions about you Fabray."

I about choked on my popcorn. Rachel grabbed her bottle of water she had sitting next to her and gave it to me. Once I could breathe and talk right, I answered her.

"Well to answer your question, which just about killed me, I think I…to be honest…I really don't know. I have always dated guys, but I have always liked you. I do find other girls attractive, but Puck is the only person I have had sex with and I have never actually done anything with a girl. So, right now, I would say bi, maybe? I really don't know."

I looked at my hands and felt slightly ashamed that I didn't really know who I was. Everyone always expected me to be the hot blonde, straight, cheerleader. I was so used to being who everyone expected me to be, that I never really took the time to figure out who I REALLY was.

"You live up to other people's standards too much Quinn…" Holy crap, she is in my head! "…you need to do what makes you happy and to be completely honest Quinn, today is the happiest I have seen you in about three years and you were totally yourself. You didn't hide behind your old mean girl act, you talked to me without hiding, you were just you."

She was right, I was always unhappy. I was always hiding who I truly am. Only Rachel know the real me. I was always reckless and Rachel always made me, me. It's time to find out who I am, for myself.

"Quinn." Rachel looked over at me longingly. Her voice was slightly deeper and husky. I could have sworn something was wrong.

I arched my eyebrows in confusion. "What's wrong Rach. Are you ok? Do you need something?" I about jumped out of bed ready to get whatever she needed.

She grabbed my hand to stop me from trying to get up. "I am perfectly fine Quinn. But I do need something." Those eyes. They were dark and menacing and so incredibly sexy. What the hell is happening?

"What is it? What do you need?"

She sat up and was on her knees inching her way closer to me. She never dropped her gaze. She was staring into my eyes. The way her eyes looked it almost felt as though she were piercing through my soul.

"Rach, what is going on?"

In a few seconds time, she was straddling my lap and staring down at me. I was propped up against my head board and pillows. I started to get massive butterflies and couldn't help but breathe a bit heavier.

"I love you Quinn. I have for four years. I never knew how you felt, but after today, now that I know, I don't have to hold back anymore." She leaned down and kissed my neck. My entire body shivered and got warm.

"What about Finn?"

"Forget about Finn. You are all I have wanted."

"You too Rachel. Do you really love me?"

"More than anyone, ever!"

She kissed up my neck and right to my mouth. Once she kissed my lips, I couldn't resist pulling her up against me. I have never felt anything like this before in my life. Rachel reached down and had just pull my top off when all of a sudden there was a thunderous knock at the door and the doorbell buzzed crazily. We both jumped and scrambled back to reality. Rachel hurried up and jumped off of me and my bed and grabbed me my robe. I quickly put it on and got in my chair and hurried towards the crazed unwanted guest. As we got closer we heard a guy's voice yelling to open the door. Rachel and I shot each other worried glances, I grabbed her hand and squeezed and then nodded to her. Both our lips were swollen form kissing and we were both a little sweaty. Rachel unlocked the door and took a deep breath before opening it. Finn barged in at the sight of the door opening.

"What the HELL Rachel! You just disappear today; you don't answer your phone or anything! And then I go to your house and your Dads have to tell me that you are over here? What the hell is that Rachel? Huh? Answer me!"

"You need to calm down Finn, I'll make you leave. You will not act like a crazy person in my house!" I was so filled with rage. He was not going to treat Rachel this way. He was acting like a crazed lunatic. He really needs anger management.

"Shut up Quinn! You could have told me what was going on! What are you two hiding? Huh? Someone ASWER ME!"

"Get out!"

"NO!"

"I will call the cops Finn!"

I looked over at Rachel and I couldn't exactly read the look on her face. She looked pissed, scared and ready to cry. Finn was looking back and forth between us. He walked over to Rachel and went to grab her shoulders.

"Don't touch me Finn."

"What? Why?"

"I don't want you touching me."

"Why the hell not Rachel? Huh? We are engaged, we are getting married remember? What? A day with Quinn and she has your mind all messed up?"

"Quinn hasn't done anything to my mind Finn. I just realized a lot of things today, on my own. And I think we need to go sit down and talk, if that is ok with you Quinn? May we borrow your living room?" She looked at me emotionlessly. I just nodded, closed the door and rolled away.

I was terrified of what was going to happen. I quietly got out of my chair and walked as quietly as I could to the dining room and sat in the chair closest to the wall attached to the living room. It was completely silent. Finn started after a few long minuets.

"You look funny. Like, I can't even recognize you right now. What happened today, Rachel?"

"We just went to the lake and laid out for an hour. Then we went to Quinn's physical therapy appoint-"

"I know you went to her appointment Rachel! Joe wanted to see if he could find Quinn. He figured she wouldn't have missed her appointment. He watched you two from a distance. He saw you kiss her Rachel! You kissed her! Why? Why would you do that? Do you even like her like that? Has Santana got to you? I want to know? Why would you cheat on me again? Like this. We are supposed to be getting married!" It sounded like he sobbed. I couldn't be sure. Finn always made weird noises.

It sounded like Rachel got up and was pacing around.

"Finn, I kissed her because…Uh!" It went silent.

"Just tell me Rachel. Please?"

"I love her Finn! I always have. I-I have wanted to be with her for four years."

"So, why chose now to try and be with her? Why now? She isn't into girls. If she is acting like she is, she is just doing it to mess with you. She doesn't want to be with you!"

"You don't know that. You don't even know the half of it!"

"Whatever Rachel, you need to pick, right now. It's me or her. You pick me, we get married, we stay in love and forget this ever happened or you pick her and get heartbroken over something that was never really real!"

"I love you Finn. I really do. But, it has always been Quinn. I know that you know that. It hurts, it really does, and I appreciate all that we had and the love we shared, but I have to let go. Ever since the day we were supposed to get married, Finn, I realized that I needed Quinn, I wanted to be with her. I'm sorry. I chose her. I'm so sorry."

I heard Finn stand up. He stumbled around a little bit and walked into the dining room where I was listening.

"You hear that Quinn? You win, again. Must be nice to get whatever you want. Just, don't hurt her ok." He stared walking towards the front door. "I hope you both are fucking happy!" And with that, he slammed the door shut and there was silence.

I heard Rachel slowly make her way to where I was. She saw me and ran over to me and clung on to me as if it were to save her life. I held on to her tight and kissed the top of her head.

"You're ok Rach. I promise baby."

She looked up at me, stood on her tiptoes and kissed me once. "I know. As long as I have you."

We stood there for a while longer, until my legs could barely hold me anymore. As we started walking to my room, we heard the sound of Finns truck drive off. I almost felt sorry for him.

When we got to my room, I put a new movie on; one I knew would make Rachel feel better. 'Chicago'. I almost put in 'Funny Girl', but after her audition and tonight, she didn't need it. I climbed into bed next to her and pulled the comforter over both of us. I moved over to her and wrapped my arm around her, kissed her neck and said good night.

"I love you Rachel Barbra Berry."

"I love you too Lucy Quinn Fabray."

And we both fell asleep, smiles on out faces.