"Just a heads up…"
Tom had been shooting Shizuo the odd nervous glance all night, but Shizuo had put it down to his imagination until now.
"Don't freak, but word on the street is that Izaya's visiting. Um, please don't lose it."
Shizuo barely hears him. He has stopped in his tracks, match snapped in his fist, cigarette forgotten.
Tom puts a hand on his shoulder. "He's just visiting, Shizuo. And avoiding you like the plague, I'll bet."
Shizuo stares at nothing as if in trance. With effort, he lets down his shoulders.
"Fine," he spits through his teeth. "Good for him. I don't care what the fleabag does, so long as he stays away from me."
Tom lets out the breath he'd been holding.
"I just thought you should know, in case you see him around. But even if you do…two years, right? It's a long time. No point raking up old trouble."
"Whatever," he growls. He follows Tom into the bar he'd suggested. "Is that why we've come somewhere so far out?"
"Kind of," he admits. "No point spoiling a Friday night. It's a popular place anyway."
Shizuo broods while Tom gets their drinks. He's glad for the heads up. If he does see Izaya, he's going to keep his mouth shut. He won't even raise an eyebrow. Hopefully Izaya will see that he doesn't care, how things have worked out so much better for him since Izaya's been gone.
"Where's he staying?" he asks when Tom gets back. "Who's he seeing here? I didn't think that flea had any friends."
"Well, I saw him with Simon and some other Russian guy I didn't recognise. So maybe stay away from Russia Sushi for a while, just in case."
Shizuo grunts. He tries not to let it get to him. Izaya is good at keeping a low profile when he wants to. Unless he chooses to play games, Shizuo probably won't see him at all.
They're barely into their second drink when the informant walks in. It's like a bad movie, the most unlikely situation the inevitable one.
Izaya's with Simon and another man of formidable size. He's laughing, speaking Russian. He's not on crutches, not moving with difficulty. He looks exactly the same. None of them notice Shizuo and Tom.
Shizuo watches them take a table a little distance from their own. Izaya sits facing him. His eyes slide up naturally, and land on Shizuo's. There's a gut clenching moment where they both freeze.
Izaya's eyes widen.
Shizuo forces his own away.
"He seen you?" Tom asks quietly.
"Yeah." He takes a sip of his drink. He hopes he looks like he doesn't care, hopes Izaya notices this.
"Want to go somewhere else?"
He shakes his head.
"I don't care."
He says it loud enough to be overheard.
Watching from the corner of his vision, he sees Simon get up and go to the bar. Left alone, side by side, Izaya and the other man speak in Russian.
Izaya doesn't leave, and neither does Shizuo.
Simon and the other man drink more than Izaya, get louder. Izaya is rests his head on one hand and glides his eyes around, looking almost bored. He throws Shizuo an unnerved look once or twice, but Shizuo is very busy pretending he doesn't care.
He's carrying another round of drinks back to Tom when he finds a familiar face in the door. Shinra. He's standing there scanning the tables, looking like a younger brother version of himself without the labcoat. His eyes widen when he sees Shizuo. He winces, turning red. He comes over offering more of a grimace than a smile.
"Oh, hey, Shizuo, what a surprise. I was just- "
"Seeing Izaya, I know," Shizuo cuts him off. He can feel Izaya's eyes on them. "I know you're friends with him. I don't care."
Shinra looks relieved.
He nods at Tom awkwardly.
"It's just, you know I haven't seen him in such a long time…"
He wavers, looking like he wants to bolt. When Shizuo doesn't react, he gives them both a final, tight smile and goes over to Izaya.
Izaya's eyes follow him.
Shizuo accidentally meets them as Shinra hugs him, and hurriedly looks away.
Shinra squeezes in beside Simon. Izaya speaks in Japanese now, but Shizuo can't make it out over the other two. Izaya seems to relax a touch more with Shinra there. He drinks more, laughs more, and doesn't look Shizuo's way again.
A drink later, Simon and the other man stand up. They shake Shinra's hand. Simon gives Izaya a one armed hug, and the other man rests his hand on Izaya's shoulder for what Shizuo thinks is a moment too long, in a way that doesn't seem like a goodbye, and then they are gone.
"I think I'll get going too."
Shizuo blinks, and looks at Tom.
"Uh, sure, me too."
He follows him outside. He feels something loosen in him once he does.
"I need a cigarette," he tells Tom. "See you later."
Tom doesn't offer to wait. Shizuo feels a little guilty. He doubts he's been good company tonight.
He rounds the corner to the smoking area and lights up. Lets himself fall against the wall and tip his head back, closes his eyes. Fuck. Two fucking years and Izaya still does this to him. Shizuo can't even look at him without his insides clenching.
He stays there smoking, trying to relax, when he hears more people coming out of the bar. Laughter. Familiar voices.
"I'm fine, Shinra," he hears Izaya insisting. "I don't need to go home, I don't even need some air."
"Yeah, yeah. Let's just stand here for a minute. I'm not holding back your hair for you again."
"That was in school."
He hears a little thud, like Izaya's flopped back against the wall.
"So tell me," Shinra's voice comes now. "Who's your guy?"
"I was waiting for that." Izaya starts laughing. "You don't want to know."
"Oh, come on, I've missed your stories."
"You're so nosy, Shinra." Izaya is still snickering. "But fine. If you must know, when I left Ikebukuro, when I recovered, I – don't judge me here – but I went on a massive sex spree. You could say I fucked it out of my system."
Shizuo doesn't hear Shinra's reply. He has frozen, the cigarette burning forgotten between his fingers.
"I was on this dating app," Izaya continues, in a voice that sounds like he might be swaying. "And I found this fucking huge Russian guy that hadn't logged in in forever. I figured he'd probably just been over on business and never bothered deleting the app. I didn't think he'd ever see his messages, let alone read them. So I told him I wanted him to tie me up and blindfold me, to open my legs, and fuck me as hard as he could. Amongst other things. I told him I wanted him to hold me underwater and fuck me there. I can't even remember all the things I told him. He replied within the hour."
Shinra's voice comes like he's shaking his head.
"You're going to get yourself killed one of these days. I never understood your kink for strength."
"Whatever. Anyway, we'd been fucking on and off for a while, and when I eventually brought up Ikebukuro, it turns out he knew Simon. Isn't that funny? So he talked me into coming back with him to visit."
"You're actually seeing him then?"
"Oh, no, I made it clear to him from the start I'm not serious. There are two other guys I'm still sort of talking to. I know, I know, I'm a slut. I do want to get close to someone but, it's hard, finding someone who doesn't bore me to death."
"You are an animal," Shinra chuckles. "I really think you should go, Izaya, you're slurring your words. Do you want me to call you a cab?"
Shizuo zones out while they bicker. His cigarette falls forgotten to the ground. He swallows. He's almost shaking. It's as if the whole thing were a rouse to wind him up, it is so deliberate; not only Izaya's coming back, but his creeping around with another man, letting Shizuo overhear that. He's never been so riled.
"You sure you don't want me to wait with you?" Shinra's voice wavers back into his consciousness.
"No, I'm good. Cab'll be here in a minute."
"OK. Well, you've got my number. Don't be a stranger this time."
"Yeah, yeah." Izaya's voice muffles, and Shizuo sees them hugging in his mind's eye. He hears Shinra's footsteps fade away.
Shizuo knows he should leave now. But he stays there, knowing what he knows with Izaya yards away round the corner, probably leaning back against the wall, probably texting or singing to himself or looking around at the city he'd left in tipsy bemusement, like what's he said is nothing.
Shizuo finds himself moving before he knows what he's doing.
Izaya is leaning against the wall. He freezes, and stares at Shizuo like an animal.
Shizuo breathes in like he's about to say something, but instead he falls on Izaya, crushing his back against the wall, pushing his mouth onto his, letting him feel his dick against him.
Izaya groans and grabs onto Shizuo's neck, fighting closer, and Shizuo can feel him getting hard.
"Fuck, Izaya," he curses, fisting his hair. "Why the fuck do you do this to me?"
"I haven't done anything." He lets his head fall back with Shizuo's hand, eyes shining and overbright, like he's too out of it to even smirk. "How was I supposed to know you were there? I didn't even know you- "
Shizuo kisses him again to shut him up. Lets go of him and bites his throat, hard enough to make him groan, to make him dig his nails in.
"Where are you staying?" Shizuo mouths against his skin He's too worked up to think straight. "Who with?"
Izaya's laugh comes then, his old one, if a little strained. "I thought you – ah – didn't care."
He growls to himself. "You better not stay here, Izaya. I don't want to deal with your fucking games, tricks and scheming ever again. You better not- "
"Let go," Izaya cuts him off. "I can't do this. I'm with that guy."
"Bullshit. You said it wasn't serious." He pushes back to hold Izaya at arm's length, pinning his shoulders. Izaya's smirking, but he's flushed, uncoordinated, and Shizuo can't ignore how far gone he is. "And I don't care."
He lets go of Izaya and takes a step back. He's realising too late that he's not quite sober himself. Izaya just stays there pinned, staring at him.
Shizuo steps away from him.
"Good luck with your fucking guy."
He turns and leaves Izaya there, panting against the wall.
Sunday evening. He figures Izaya will be gone by now. He wants Russia Sushi, and he'll be damned if he's going to tiptoe around the flea. Even after what happened. Especially after what happened.
Izaya's there. Of course he is. He's on one of the counterbar stools with tea, chatting to Simon while he ducks in and out. The other Russian man is nowhere to be seen.
Shizuo steels himself. He very nearly turns away, but forces himself in.
He takes the stool next Izaya.
Izaya's eyes widen. Then he smirks.
"Shizu-chan."
It's not as smug as he expected. It's almost courteous.
"Flea."
Simon comes over before they can say anything further, and slaps Shizuo on the shoulder.
"Shizuo! Be nice to Izaya, eh? Today his last day."
Shizuo grumbles something.
He orders his food, to go.
Izaya's guy doesn't emerge from the bathroom, like Shizuo had expected. The flea probably sent him to buy condoms or some such shit. Shizuo looks at him now sidelong.
He's people watching, head on one hand, and ignoring Shizuo completely. His eyes are unfocused, distant.
"So where's your guy?" Shizuo eventually mutters. He can't help himself.
Izaya starts, throws him an annoyed glance.
"We had a slight disagreement." An edge enters his tone.
Shizuo tries not to react.
Izaya looks him over consideringly before continuing.
"I was tipped off that he's only been fucking me to sweeten me up, because his visa's running out and he needs my help. Oh, and he's been fucking one of my friends."
"Oh." Shizuo doesn't have a clue what to say. "That sucks."
"Doesn't it?" He shrugs. "But it doesn't matter. I've avoided a potential disaster."
Shizuo says nothing. His order is taking forever. He sits there trying not to squirm.
"Come home with me."
He growls it almost inaudibly, but he knows Izaya hears him from the way he stiffens.
"I can't," he says, infuriatingly. "I'm having dinner with Simon after he gets off."
"You've been with Simon all fucking weekend."
Izaya's smile comes back.
"What, are you jealous of Simon, too?"
"What do you want from me?"
Izaya's smile falters at the honesty in this. He's still struggling to reply when Simon himself comes over.
"Hey, Izaya, you see we more busy than normal. They ask me to stay. Is OK for you? I get you some fatty tuna on the house. Sorry, my friend."
"Oh…that's fine. Fatty tuna sounds great."
"Awesome. We go out again next time. You want to eat here or take away?"
He hesitates. He takes a sip of his tea without looking at Shizuo.
"Take away."
They fuck like it's another kind of fight, Izaya's phone bleeping occasionally, ignored, on the floor, the sushi lying forgotten on the table.
It's impossibly good, harder, more intense without the haze of alcohol. Shizuo had heard Izaya had long term damage from their fight, but he doesn't hold back, and Izaya seems to be relish this, like having his hair pulled and his skull hit against things.
"I fucking hate you," Shizuo pants into Izaya's hair. "I wish you never left."
Izaya mumbles something back that he doesn't catch. He nuzzles Shizuo's throat like a dog.
They sleep in a still soaking heap.
The next morning, it's only awkward when they sit up and meet each other's eyes. Not awkward, but not pleasant.
Izaya looks at him through still glazed eyes, hair like he's fallen down a hill, body still radiating heat.
"Say it," he demands.
Shizuo's stomach plummets.
"Say what?"
"Stay out of Ikebukuro," Izaya mimics in what he imagines is a good impression, and leans in to kiss Shizuo instead of laughing.
"...Yeah," Shizuo mutters, letting their foreheads rest. "Do what you fucking want."
"What if I want to come back?"
"Don't play games with me, flea."
"I mean it." He slides down until he can rest his head in Shizuo's lap. Shizuo can feel the heat of his breathing. "I'm completely serious. What if I want to come back?"
Shizuo swallows. His eyes wander over Izaya's forming bruises.
"Do what you want."
Izaya smirks.