Tick, tock.
You started counting down the seconds. Tick, tock.
Within a minute, your alarm clock started to screech loudly.You, being already awake, merely raised a finger, turning the clock off. After, you resumed your original state; arms at your sides, your brown hair parted to the side, your eyes staring blankly above at the ceiling. Minutes started to tick past, until finally you decided to get up. Casually brushing your blankets aside, you got ready.
Same old routine..
After brushing your teeth, you lazily tied your hair up into a messy bun, several loose strands of hair cascading down your face. For a brief moment, you inspected yourself in the mirror, wondering what the hell happened. Your green eyes lost it's playful sparkle; they seemed so dull, so lifeless. Almost hesitantly, you moved your lips upwards, to what was an attempted smile. Seconds past, until you gave in, your lips returning to a frown once again.
"I guess smiling isn't my thing." You mused to yourself aloud, before quickly grabbing your coat and rushing outside.
--
In only took ten minutes for you to reach your destination; the pharmacy.
Indeed, you led a boring life. But what else was expected in Risembool? There was no wars here. There never has been a homicide. Everyone knew everyone, and tourists rarely came. The majority of the population was happy, and it was peaceful here. A nice place to raise a family in a safe, stable environment.
But you, on the other hand, were one of those rare people who was not happy. You didn't particularly like your life; not that you really hated it. You had big dreams, and goals. But they seemed meaningless now.
Instead, you lived in a small house, far away from the others. It was surrounded by many trees, so you had no neighbors to disturb you. This also meant that you had no company either, because you didn't have a family. Oddly enough, it didn't hurt you as much as it could've.
You never knew your mother.
You never knew your father.
In fact, you had no evidence that they even existed--you didn't know your mother's name, or your father's.
Hell, you didn't even have a photograph of them. It did bother you when you were younger, but after everything that happened in your life..
You no longer cared.
Besides, how could I miss someone if I've never met them?
A voice snapped you out of your trance-like state.
"--Um, hello ma'am? I wanted to buy some medicine." A young girl, most likely around the age of ten questioned you curiously. "My mom wrote it down for me." Blinking, you immediately snatched the note from out of her grasp. Your green eyes scanned the handwritten note, before turning and grabbing some pills from the shelf.
"Right. That'll be $12.79, please." Your voice came out as a bored monotone--you didn't feel like putting in an effort today. Being a friendly, cheery, assistant-pharmacist was definitely not the kind of person you were. Instead, you remained your usual self; distant eyes, unapproachable demeanor, with a bored expression. The girl timidly handed you the money, before quickly scurrying away. You continued to check out medicine from the other costumers in line.
Suddenly, the door swung open, setting off the chimes. You glanced up lazily.
Immediately, your eyes widened with disbelief. That's impossible. Could it be..?
A boy, who looked around the age of sixteen stomped into the pharmacy, looking anything but happy.
"Damn Winry with her stupid wrench!" The blond boy cursed loudly, his gloved hand holding onto his head in pain. At his words, several heads turned, growing even more curious as to the suit of armor standing awkwardly beside him. You on the other hand, continued to stare unblinkingly at them, in what seemed to be a dream-like state. It can't be.. You took in a sharp inhale of air. There was no mistaking it; his blond hair, his golden-colored eyes, his red jacket. Your eyes shifted to the left, studying the armor next to him. Immediately, you recognized the young, and childish voice.
"Nii-san, you didn't have to call her those names.."
"WHAT? Whose side are you on, Al?!" The blond snapped, obviously not in a good mood. "Now let's just get the medicine already, and get out of here."
"Hey, you there? I need to pay for this." An old woman snapped her fingers in front of your face several times. You turned your head slightly—still looking at the odd pair from the corner of your eyes.
"That'll be $6.45." Your voice grew quieter, and the old women took her medicine, clearly not impressed.
"About time, I'm not getting any younger you know!" She snapped, before walking away. Tiredly, you closed your eyes, taking in a deep inhale of breath. After a moment you opened your eyes, only to reveal a very unpleasant situation.
"Hey, uh, this kills migraines and stuff, right?" The blond questioned you, holding up a small case of pills. You lifted your head slightly, glaring at him coldly. With your brown hair out of the way, the blond's eyes widened, "Al! It's Tsukiko!" He exclaimed with disbelief, a smirk slowly playing on his face. Immediately, the armor bent down to inspect you more.
Lengthy brown hair, green eyes, familiar height—it definitely was you. Of course, there were several differences. Your eyes held no compassion, maintaining a steely, unwelcoming glare. Your lips held no joyful smile, merely a scowl.
"Yes, that helps cure migraines and headaches." You responded coldly, grinding your teeth, "Do I know you?"
The blond's smirk faltered, "Hey..Tsukiko. It's me, Ed—and Al. Remember us? Long time no see, huh?" His voice now became hesitant, no longer confident as it was before.
You scoffed, long time no see—four fucking years to be exact.
"I'm sorry," You sneered, "I don't remember you. Or your friend."
You could sense the hurt that flashed through Ed's eyes. Or the way Al moved backwards slightly, in confusion.
In some sort of cruel way, you felt satisfied. You were happy at how confused and hurt they were feeling.
Perhaps you felt as if they could finally experience how you felt; being so close to them—overcoming everything they went through, but when the time came; they left without hesitation or a simple goodbye. They walked out of your life, in just a day.
They were the only family you had. But they could never understand how it truly felt like to be alone. To have nobody to rely on, only yourself.
"And now, if you excuse me—I'm going to take my break." You took their money, shoving it—almost angrily—into the cash register before exiting the pharmacy as quick as possible. Who cares if I lose my job? I don't care anymore, nothing matters! They, especially, don't.
Then why was your eyes started to become glazed over?
Why did your throat clench painfully, as if you were trying to hold tears back?
Why was your heart beating so rapidly?
And why couldn't your hands stop shaking?
I've got to get out of here.
You walked a rapid pace, slamming the door behind you as you exited the pharmacy. Unfortunately, you felt the presence of two particular people also coming out of the pharmacy.
"Hey! Tsukiko-chan! WAIT..!" A child's voice called after you. You closed your eyes, desperately trying to prevent the tears sliding down your face. But at the sound of Al's voice, you simply broke down.
[FLASHBACK
"Al, look what I've found!" You exclaimed gleefully, running over to show the young boy what you've found. Alphonse looked up from his food, a grin on his face. In your arms revealed a small kitten, who meowed softly. "I think I'm gonna keep him!"
"Can I hold him? Please, Tsukiko-chan!" He became excited, his hands eagerly reaching out to pet the small animal. You giggled, as the kitten jumped out of your arms, curling up in his arms. "I think she likes you!" Al snuggled his face into the animal's body.
"How do you know it's a girl?!" You smiled mysteriously.
"I just do—besides, I already named it." You loved the way Al's eyes lit up.
"What name?" He asked excitedly.
You laughed, "Edal." Al frowned, puzzled.
"That doesn't sound like a girl name." You shrugged.
"Well, I named it after you and Edo. You see, 'Ed' and 'Al' together becomes..Edal!" You spoke as if it was the most brilliant—not to mention obvious—thing in the world.
"Tsukiko-chan, wait!" Al's voice became desperate—you were thankful he was too far away to see the tears falling rapidly down your face. You angrily wiped them away.
See, they've come back into my life again, and now it's become ten times worse than it was before.
Various trees started to come into view, and you quickly ran through them, wanting to put as much distance as you could between you and the Elric brothers. Your breathing had become ragged; you never had to run this fast before. Your body was screaming for you to stop, but truthfully..
You'd rather die from exhaustion than to ever have to see them again.
There..I'm almost there. You spotted your small house down the slopes. In a few seconds, you had opened your door, slamming it shut before locking it with a key, and several other different methods. It was only then your knees gave in, collapsing onto the floor, as you caught yourself with your arms—coughing violently.
You could barely breath right—it felt as if you were suffocating.
But you were too exhausted to move towards your fridge, or sink to get a glass of water. Instead, you just remained in the position you were in, heaving, and holding your stomach painfully while trying to take in oxygen. However, the only thing going through your mind was..
Did I lose them?
You continued to take in sharp intakes of air. Thump, thump.
"Suki! Open the door! What's wrong with you?" You flinched. You've grown to hate that damn nickname.
[FLASHBACK
"Edo, whatcha doing Edo?" You inquired in a sing-song voice. Ed rolled his eyes, annoyed.
"Don't call me that." He responded, waving his hands as a signal for you to go away. "I'm studying." You peeked over his shoulder. He was reading, yet another book.
"Oh Edo, Edo, Edo! Whatcha doing?" Your eyes held their focus on the odd circular symbols in his book, fascinated at all the complex symbols.
An even more irritated Ed responded, "I'm studying, Suki. It's something called alchemy."
"Alchemy, huh?" Your playful expression disappeared, full of awe. "It's what you and Al always talk about—equivalent exchange."
"You actually listen to our conversations?"
"Of course I do!" You exclaimed, "Whenever you do, it's like you two are talking in different languages. I always get left out."
Ed's serious expression was replaced by a smile, watching you pout.
"You just don't understand what we're talking about."
You snatched the book from him, intrigued at all the symbols.
"Edo, teach me alchemy."
"Nii-san, why is she being like that?" Al's sad voice could be heard from the other side of the door. You merely ignored it, staggering to stand up. I'm going to take a nap. A long nap. When I wake up, this will simply be a nightmare.
You reassured yourself with this comforting thought. Gradually, after regaining your breath, you started to make your way up the stairs. Until..
BAM!
The noise had come from your front door. Absolute furious, you scrambled down from the stairs, only to see that your door had been kicked down. Ed was now standing triumphantly on top of it, with Al anxiously behind him.
You lost it. You truly did.
"What the FUCK do you think you're doing?!" You screeched, as loud as your lungs could muster. "Get the hell out of my house, now!" A takened back by your murderous tone, Ed still remained stubborn.
"What won't you talk to us? I know damn well you still remember Al and me!"
Your hands clenched into fists, nails digging painfully into your flesh. "No, I sure as hell don't!" You moved forwards, shoving the alchemist with all the strength you still had in you. But because you weren't as tall as him, he barely moved an inch. "Get OUT! I hate you, Edward Elric! I hate both of you!" Alphonse flinched, having such strong words directed towards him.
You knew you weren't making sense; you were contradicting ever sentence you were making. But it didn't matter—they left you, and now when you didn't want them to come back, they did. You violently started to attack the alchemist, doing whatever you could—even attempting to pull his hair.
Despite this however, Ed's face remained emotionless, as he easily restrained your grip with both of his hands. He'd never seen you like this—the rage was radiating off of you, your fists desperately trying to hurt him in some way. He truly couldn't believe this was you—why was it that you were so angry at him? Your body was shaking with contempt, and you were still screaming at the top of your lungs.
"LET GO OF ME, EDWARD! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" You struggled against his grip, now attempting to kick him.
[FLASHBACK
"Winry! What's going on—why is Edo's and Al's house burned down? Where are they?!" Winry let out a sob, while hiding her face in Pinako's embrace. The women merely gazed at you, with a look of despair. Your eyes widened in horror.
"They can't be..Winry! TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED!" Winry continued to cry hysterically, and you quickly started to shake the girl's hand. "WHERE'S EDWARD AND ALPHONSE?!" Your voice started to shake. The blond girl finally looked up, tears still streaming down her face.
"They left Resembol, OKAY?! They're not coming back!"
You hated yourself for not being able to restrain your tears. In a few seconds, you stopped struggling against the alchemist, and merely started to breakdown. Shallow sobs escaped your mouth, and you buried your face into your hands, landing on your knees.
"W-Why did you guys l-leave—without telling me!" The feelings of betrayal, depression, and loneliness after they left started to come out of your mouth. "Y-You told Winry! B-But you couldn't even spare a--" You choked on your words, "a-a-single goodbye to me! And then you leave me for f-f-our fucking years! What d-did you expect t-t-to come back to?" You couldn't stop yourself from shaking violently.
You thought that they would've known what it felt like to be abandoned. After all, their father, Hohenheim Elric walked out of them when they were younger. All you wanted was a 'goodbye', something to know that your friendship mattered to them.
Emotions bottled up for years and years were finally coming out. You didn't even bother to look up at the two for an explanation. "You t-two were everything to me! You were my family! I k-k-knew how to protect m-myself, I thought you trusted me e-e-enough to know I could've helped you!" You took in a sharp inhale of breath, before continuing to cry convulsively.
Edward and Alphonse remained motionless—clearly overwhelmed. They were speechless, only the look of guilt plastered on their faces. "A-And you know what t-the sad thing was?!" You let out a bitter laugh, that turned out to be a violent cough than anything else. "After y-you did that to m-me, I j-just wanted you two b-back! I s-still missed you!"
There it was; the plain truth. You had taught yourself to hate them gradually over the years, only because it was better to hate than to feel the painful feeling of abandonment. "THERE! AREN'T YOU HAPPY NOW?!" You finally raised your swollen eyes to look at them. "Now, get out of m-my life! Get the fuck out of my house! You can at least do me that—it won't be hard! You've done it already!" Your green eyes grew violent, "GET OUT!--I never want to see you ever a--"
You sentence was cut of abruptly. A look of confusion crossed your face.
Edward's arms were wrapped around your small body, his face buried into your hair. It was only then you noticed that he, too, was shaking.
"I'm sorry, Suki. I'm sorry for leaving you like that." He whispered sadly. The grief in his voice, and the way his sentences cracked instantly stopped the tears from sliding down your face. You could tell by the pain evident in his voice that he was truly sorry. It was laced with guilt, and you immediately knew that he was blaming himself for everything.
He always did that.
Your face sobered up, and slowly your arms started to wrap around him. It was amazing, the years and years of hatred you've tried so hard to build disappeared in an instant after he said those few words.
"Edo.." You whispered softly. Was..Was he crying?
"I'm sorry for everything, Suki. I—I really am." He tightened his grip on you. "I didn't want to hurt you. I'm sorry I didn't call, I'm sorry I didn't write letters, I'm sorry for not telling you we were leaving." He choked on his words again, "I'm really sorry, Suki. Really sorry."
You closed your eyes. Already, you wanted to take back everything you said. You felt shallow, and self-centered. How could you be selfish? They far more problems you did; they didn't need to feel blamed for this too.
"Edo, Al..I—Don't be sorry Ed. Please, stop.." Your heart clenched painfully, "I hate seeing you like this, Edo. Please stop crying—it's not your fault. I'm sorry, I don't care anymore—please stop.."
"I—I just--" You buried your face in his golden hair.
"It's okay, Ed. Don't be sorry—I was being stupid and selfish. We shouldn't be like this—I'm happy you came back, Edo. I thought I'd never see you two ever again."
The blond alchemist merely continued to embrace you, and you could still feel him shake slightly. You stared at Al, who was standing awkwardly by the door, not knowing what to do. "Come here Al, I've really missed you two." Slowly, the large suit of armor walked over, and you placed an arm around as best as you could.
Finally, after four grueling years, you were happy.
You were truly happy.