Disclaimer: I own nobody besides Agent Bernt, and he's a real jerk, so I don't want to claim him anyway. He's up for grabs.
A/N: So I don't swear, like, ever, so if Tony seems a little OC just add a couple of swear words into his sentences or replace the PG version of a word with Tony's version. Also, review, review, review. (People probably don't review because I'm so annoying about it, I know.)
Title
Tony curled an arm around Steve's neck, his legs going around his hips as he clung to his back. He probably looked a bit like a baby monkey on a parent monkey, but let's face it, even if he didn't have his aversion to water, he would still totally be clinging to Steve, half naked the way he was. Steve, the wonderful man he was, didn't seem to mind at all, easily continuing his game of pass the football with Thor.
"What, can you not swim Stark?" Agent What's-His-Name snickered. Tony glared, because it was only okay when Clint made fun of him for his faults. The rest of the Avengers looked up as well, because they all had their demons, Clint being unable to wear sunglasses that had any hint of a blue tint, and Bruce unable to stand being in the same room as a military person for longer than twenty minutes (Steve was exempt, because, well, he was Steve) and they understood more than anyone that if you found something that kept them at bay, well, good for you.
Plus, as much as some of them liked to deny it (cough, cough, Phil, Natasha and Clint) they were a team, and more importantly a family, and it was only okay when it was one of them doing the insulting because at the end of the day they knew that it was all good-natured. So Agent Bernt, teasing Tony about holding on to Steve when he was in the water?
So not cool.
"Of course I can swim," Tony sniffed, resting his head against Steve's wet neck and hair. It was okay, right now, that water was dripping into his face. First off, he wasn't submerged, which was his main issue. Thank God that it wasn't all water, or he'd never be able to take a shower. But it was also because he was with Steve, and it was Steve's scent that was filling his nose, and Steve's hand on his calf, hiking him back up as he started to slip down.
After Afghanistan, Tony had never wanted to get back in a tub or a pool again. The instant he was submerged in water, he completely freaked out, and he was back in a cold dark cave, and gross slimy hands were holding him down until his lungs were screaming for air. So when the Avengers had first come to live with him, whenever they asked him if he wished to swim with them, he played it off as having work to do, or not wanting to be in anyone's company or something like that.
But then Captain America had become Steve, and he had fallen in love with him.
And falling in love with Steve was exactly how falling in love with someone should have been. It made Tony feel warm whenever Steve was around, and he was convinced for at least two weeks that there was something wrong with the arc reactor, because his heart kept flutter before he realized that, yeah, he was kind of a teenage girl at heart. It was great, especially since Steve, apparently, had the same feelings.
But it was also kind of bad, because apparently, falling in love with Steve meant that he lost the ability to lie whenever those beautiful baby blues were turned on him. And that meant that the next time Steve asked him if he wanted to join the team by the pool and Tony turned him down, and Steve asked why, the whole story came out.
Steve, because he was an absolute saint, had just sat there and listened with his arms around Tony, and when Tony had looked up fearfully when he was done and asked Steve if he was going to break up with him now that he knew how damaged he was, Steve had just kissed Tony and asked him if he thought he was damaged, because he couldn't stand to be cold.
Tony had been appalled, frankly, and had told Steve that he was perfect. Steve had kissed him and told Tony that was exactly what he thought of Tony too, regardless of if Tony could swim.
But Tony had wanted to be worthy, or at least a little bit worthy of Steve, so the next time it was only him and Steve, he had asked Steve if he would go to the pool with him.
It had been rough at first, and Tony was incredibly surprised that Steve hadn't quit their relationship and run away as far as he could get after the first traumatic time. But slowly, and surely, Tony started to improve. It wasn't much, and he still could feel panic bubbling when he was more than an arm's reach away from Steve, but as long as he had Steve it would be okay, because Tony trusted Steve, trusted that he would help him and make sure nothing happened to him.
Tony pressed a kiss to the back of Steve's head, once again astounded by how lucky he was.
Though he didn't feel lucky with this stupid agent in his pool.
"Judging by the way you're clinging to Captain America, I doubt that," Agent Bernt said. It was a testament to how irritated Steve was with the man that he didn't correct him and tell him to call him Steve.
"Hey, if you don't like swimming with Stony, then get out," Clint said from where he was lounging on a float at the other end. Coulson, looking incredibly out of place in a bathing suit, looked up but didn't even chastise Clint for the usage of the term Stony, though it had been banned after Tony had started to use it in innuendos. If it got Agent Bernt to shut up, it was worth it. Agent Bernt was incredibly annoying and had been pushing buttons all day, starting from breakfast to when he had insulted Bruce's cooking, even though it was great, to at lunch time, when he had been rude to Pepper, of all people. Pepper.
"Why is he here again?" Tony asked Steve, not even pretending he didn't want the man in question to hear. Steve turned slightly, kissing Tony on the cheek before turning back around to catch the ball.
"The Council sent him to do an evaluation, saying that Coulson was too compromised by the situation." Steve reminded him.
"That's not true, Coulson knows we're stupid and insane as anybody else, doesn't matter if he secretly loves us." Tony said. Coulson snorted from the side of the pool and idly flipped the page of the magazine he was reading. "But that wasn't my point. Why him, Steve?"
"Fury thought he was a good agent for the job." Steve said.
"Fury's an idiot," Tony said, running his fingers through the wet strands of Steve's hair. "For sending an idiot."
That being said, none of the Avengers thought it was possible that the man was quite stupid enough to do what he did later, when Steve was changing into regular clothes so he and Tony could go out for dinner and Tony, having already changed, was standing by the poolside, talking to Bruce, who was lazily floating on his back.
"Have you tried to add more of the Calcium?" Tony asked.
"I have, but it doesn't seem to stabilize it any." Bruce said. Tony contemplated it and was about to offer a new solution when he found hands pushing at his lower back, disturbing his balance and catapulting him into the water. He tried to remember that he was in his tower, that it was Bruce next to him, not some smarmy member of Ten Rings, but on instinct his body tried to breathe as soon as he hit the water, and it was all over.
His neck was held in a tight grip and his head was pushed in filthy water that would probably give him a whole load of diseases. It was okay for a couple seconds, but then his stomach felt all tight, and his head was pounding and he needed oxygen, he needed it badly, but it wasn't being given, and he struggled against the hand that was holding him down, but it was a firm grip, and he couldn't escape it, and oh God, he needed oxygen or he needed death, because he could not take this anymore. His life was centered around this point, and there was only the water rushing into his eyes and ears, and the strain of his lungs as he tried to get the air that was not available.
"Tony, you're okay, you're in our bedroom, I've got you, Agent Bernt is nowhere near here, there is no water near here, you're safe, you're warm, I have you, look into my eyes," Steve was babbling, which told Tony that he had kept up this stream of comforting phrases for a while before Tony had come around.
"Trying to bewitch me?" Tony asked, his voice sounding gravelly and it quavered. Steve, God bless America and all her sons, Steve immediately understood what he was referring to and gave a shaky laugh, his arms tightening around Tony enough to pull him into his chest.
"That's right, I'm trying to bewitch you into doing you're laundry, because I'm tired of walking around and finding your boxers on lamps," Steve said, brushing some of Tony's hair away from his face and pressing a tender kiss to Tony's forehead.
"If I remember correctly, it was you who put my boxers on the lamp," Tony said, nuzzling into the warm expanse of Steve's chest. True to Steve's word, they were in their bedroom, Tony in a pair of dry boxers only, both of them tucked under the blanket even though it was going to make their bed smell like chlorine for the immediate future.
"Are you okay?" Steve asked, instead of acknowledging that statement, because now that he thought about it, those boxers might have indeed been his fault.
"Sorry," Tony winced at the mentioning of his freak-out and tensed. One of Steve's hands began to ran through his hair and the other's knuckles dug gently into the lower part of his back, working out the knots that had appeared there.
"You have nothing to be sorry for baby," Steve soothed with intensity. "That was not your fault, nor will it ever be. All blame lies on Agent Bernt." Steve rarely ever swore, and Tony knew it was because the simple fact that the way Steve could spit out everyday words made them as good as swears. The way he said the man's name was one of those instances.
"But I should be over it by now," Tony confessed against Steve's heart.
"You shouldn't be anything Tony. You had a traumatic experience, the kind that you don't just get 'over' ever. If it takes the rest of our life for you to be able to take a bath, I don't care. I promise you, either way, I'm going to love you every second of every day. Your eyes will always be the first thing I want to see in the morning and your arms will always be the ones I want to be in at the end of the day, regardless of if like to swim or not." Steve promised. "This doesn't change anything Tony, I promise you. I love you, forever and always, and nothing will change that."
"Even if I suddenly start looking like Barton, or if I burp every time we kiss, or if I become a nudist?" Tony asked cheekily, because when Steve said things like that, in his sincere voice, he had no choice but to believe him.
"Even then," Steve swore, wiggling down to kiss Tony.
It was a few hours later when they finally emerged from the bedroom, Tony's hand in Steve's, to find the Avengers and Nick Fury lounging on the various couches in their living room.
"Yo," Tony said, slanting a lazy wave at them and claiming his and Steve's usual spot.
"Stark, Rogers," Fury nodded to each of them in turn. Then he turned back to the others. "So that's the explanation I get when I received Agent Bernt back with two broken limbs, and black eye, no hair to speak of, including his eyebrows, an incredibly painful looking fat lip, and bruised ribs? He made you mad?"
"Indeed, the man irked our ire and was quite worthy of our wrath." Thor boomed.
"And what am I supposed to tell the council?" Fury asked. Coulson raised a single unimpressed eyebrow.
"Simply tell them that Agent Bernt was very satisfied with what he saw here, fake his handwriting in a report, and send him off to an island that has no contact with the outside world." He suggested.
"Or North Korea," Clint suggested from where he was lounging on the floor with a pillow under his head.
"You people are impossible," Fury complained, then swept out of the room, clearly done with the company he was keeping at the moment. His coat flapped behind him and Tony leaned away from Steve to smile at Fury as he passed.
"Bye Severus!" He shouted after him. Bruce snorted in amusement and Steve squeezed him, with the face that said that he wanted to disapprove but actually found that one funny. Tony settled down into his side again and picked at the pillow that had somehow found its way into his lap. "Thanks, guys." He said uncomfortably, ignoring the proud smile Steve gave him, for admitting he had feelings and that he was grateful for what these insane people did for him.
"Of course," Bruce smiled kindly. "That's what you do for family."