So, I watched "Get it done" last night. And there's scene where Robin Wood asks Spike about his soul, Spike turns around to look and Buffy and asks her if she is now telling everyone... well, it always gave me chills. I can't really tell why. So, I sat down today and forced myself to write this. I hope all you guys like it, and please let me know what you think.
Disclaimer: So... no, I do not own any of the characters used, neither any of the movies I made mention of. I wished I owned Orlando Bloom, but I don't, unfortunately. So, pretty much all I owned is this computer, but not really for I share it with my brother... :sighs:
When I was eleven, I used to watch this great soup opera on TV when mom thought I was asleep. The story line was quiet pointless and stupid, but I watched it nevertheless. It went on and on about how Marc couldn't marry Tania because she was engaged to another man, Tania's mother doing all in her power to keep her away from Marc and so...
I always remembered this scene where Marc walked over to Tania, with a ring in his hand telling her how much he had suffered for her, how hard it had been for him to wait for her, and to fight for her to his family, her family and most of everyone they knew, which seemed to be the entire population of the very large city they lived in.
When I was fifteen, right before I became the slayer, I was asked to the movies to this hottie at school. We watched "My Best Friend's Wedding". Funny how at the time I thought it was one of the best and most romantic movies of all times. I didn't even mind she didn't get with him in the end.
Not long ago, I watched "A Walk To Remember". Dawn and Willow cried like little babies, and despite how much I wanted to deny it, the movie got to me somehow. Everything the guy does for her, how he fulfills her desires and takes care of her... even marries her despite the fact that she is dying!
Now, as I walk by the crowded streets of Sunnydale, I can't help but listen to other girl's conversations...
"Tom took me to dinner, it was so romantic..."
"Luke finally gave me the ring... Look at it! It's beautiful!"
"Then, he took me to meet his parents in their summerhouse at the Hamptons. It was really large, with pools and everything..."
It's not that I don't think those are nice gifts to give or receive, but... They haven't seen or lived what I have. Their conceptions of life are so... small... mundane... unfulfilling, at least to me.
But what can a girl that has died twice say about love? I can't seem to maintain a real relationship... a serious of mutual love and respect relationship. That's probably why all those "gifts" seem so tribal to me. What is their matter anyway? They hold no real promise.
More than once I have found myself tempted to intrude in those conversations, as I walk in the mall, at the saloon, or even at Sunnydale High... Raise my hand and give my opinion about it. To raise my voice and say...
A ring, a house, a boat, a car, clothes, jewels, diamonds... Try a soul.
He asks me about it. What, am I telling everyone now?
No, I'm not. I can't. "Everyone" wouldn't understand. That's probably why I tell it to everyone who is willing to listen and, in fact, understands it. Well, "understand it" as in "I-know-vampires-exist-and-they-don't-have-souls-that's-why-I-can-see-this-is-such-a-big-deal", anyway.
And I think... maybe that's how normal girls feel when they receive a ring, or something of the sort. It is some sort of promise. As if "I'm-not-going-to-leave" promise. As if... he's done the biggest thing he could do for me. Because even if my friends don't see it, I do. I see, just as all those guys in the movies, how he fought, how he suffered. Because life can't be solved as easily and quickly as in a two hour and a half movie. It takes time, courage, pain, work...
And just as he pro misses me that, I promise him too... I promise him I will give him a chance to become who he has to become. A man. A man that may be loved. A man that may be loved by me.