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We Are Foolish
Nancy stares into a dark sky, flakes falling atop her head. It's beautiful, every night is, every star filled one to stormy one. She can see him in all of them.
It's been 47 years since he died but she still thinks of him every day. Her life has been full since he died - he didn't die in vain. She went on to have a successful life.
After graduating school she got a good job with the police force, in honor of him. She became a detective despite her degree in Accounting, and the job was much less glamorous than people would have you believe. She spent most of her days doing paper work and analyzing evidence, but she saved lives, and at the end of the day it was always rewarding.
She even got married, and had seventeen happy years of marriage until her divorce.
"I hope you're proud of me, Hartigan. I went on and made something of myself, didn't I?" she says aloud.
Her memories have faded over time, but she remembers him most vividly of all things in her life. She can still see him standing in front of her as if it was yesterday, his face rough and wrinkled but so handsome, "There's wrong and there's wrong and then there's this. For God's sake, you're just a kid."
"I would've followed you anywhere, John." she says, "I don't think you have any idea how in love I was with you."
She leans over her balcony and stares at the street below. There's a young couple, hand in hand, walking down the street. She looks at her own aged hands on the rail, sighing, realizing she's not a kid anymore. She's an old woman now.
She's the same age Hartigan was when he died.
"I know I'm pretty old now," she says, "But I'm not ready to go just yet. There's still more to do. You left too early, Hartigan."
A wind picks up and chills her, after all she came on without a proper coat on.
The reason she's talking to a dead man is because this is the anniversary of his death. His death that took place 47 long years ago. He had no idea how much he broke her heart when he died.
The girl spent a long time roaming around for answers, and when she finally figured out that he'd done what he'd done for her it only made her feel like shit.
"We could've died together, and I would've been happy because I would've been with you." she then laughs, "We are a foolish species, doing things like dying for love. But I would've died for love."
There's no use being upset over it though, because what happened happened and it was in the past. Nancy knew they could've been happy together - knew they were meant to be together! Other things had got in the way, and that was just destiny. She was happy to have at least known such an amazing man.
The snow begins to fall heavier, big clumps of white sticking to every surface it hit, including her clothes and balcony.
It's at these moments, underneath that night sky, she feels him again. It was years ago but she can still remember their kisses in the snow.
"I miss you so much John Hartigan. I wish you could see me now. Would still love me?"
For a moment she feels as if she is 19 again, no, 11 again. A child, so small to the world, and vulnerable.
Sighing, the old woman makes her way inside, leaving the night to the star crossed young lovers on the street.