A/N: This story plays in the future when Zoe, Grace and their friends are 39 years old. It´s the sequel of my story "Back to the rooftop". So if you don´t know that one yet I´d suggest for you to read it first.

Legal: This story is a fanwork. The show and the characters belong to Epitome/DHX Media. They just came by to play with my imagination.

Warning: Major character death. Keep tissues close by. For added mood you can listen to the Lindsey Stirling cover of My Immortal.

With all of your colors

Zoe stared at the empty screen. Did she even have words left for the emptiness she felt? She stood wandering to the window. She had already called Tristan earlier. She had thought it would be easier to write everyone else.

She closed her eyes, then she went back to sit at the desk again. She took a deep breath. Then she started to write:

To everyone,

yesterday the most precious thing in my life disappeared. But I´m grateful for every day I could spend with Grace. Yesterday she lost the battle against the illness she´s been living with for so long.

The funeral is next Thursday. She always thought that no one would come to her grave so I hope most of you will come to prove her wrong.

Zoe

Without reading it a second time she pressed send. Afterwards she couldn´t help but cry again. She stood because she felt like doing something violent. She went to the wall to hit against it with her fist in anger. She only stopped to sink to the floor shaking from crying.

That´s how Tristan and Miles found her. Tristan was with her in a second pulling her close. "Why?", Zoe asked, "she was so special. She was the best person there was. Why did she have to be ill?"

Miles crouched besides them putting a hand on her shoulder in support. They just let her cry not knowing what else to do.

The tears only stopped when she finally fell asleep. Tristan carried her to her bed and Miles pulled the blanket over her. Then they laid down on the blanket with her in the middle each putting an arm over her.

###

Tristan also had fallen asleep, when there was a knock on the door. Miles sat up and when Grace´s mother entered the room he stood. "My condolence", he said.

She nodded. "It´s good the two of you could come so fast."

"Can I help with anything?", Miles offered.

She shook her head. "Just take care of her." She nodded towards Zoe. "Grace had decided on most things ahead in time so we just had to forward it to the undertaker. She just wanted Zoe to choose the music so maybe you can talk to her about it as soon as she´s ready."

Miles nodded. "We´ll do that."

She tried a sad smile. "Thank you. I´m going to cook now. Any wishes?"

Miles shook his head. "No. Whatever fits you is fine."

"Okay", she said. She gave him a nod and left the room.

He turned around and realized that Tristan had woken. They shared a look and then Miles laid down with them again, weaving his fingers with Tristan´s.

###

Later their plates and the rest of self made pizza was on Zoe´s bed. She had only eaten a few mouthfuls but now she was going through Grace´s playlist while Tristan and Miles were tidying the room. It was the guest room of the Cardinals. When Grace´s illness had become worse a few weeks ago they had moved back with them. Zoe had moved into the guest room in case she or Grace had needed some space.

While listening to one of Grace´s favorite songs she watched Miles and Tristan and remembered the day Grace had told them about her illness.

It had been six or seven years back. They had sat on a cliff together. Talking and laughing. And when there was a silence for a moment Grace who had been leaning against Zoe had become serious. "I have cystic fibrosis and I don´t know how many years I´m still going to have."

It had come out of nowhere and Tristan and Miles had stared at her in shock. "Since when...", Tristan had finally asked.

Grace had given him a sad smile. "Since I was born."

Tristan and Miles had looked up to Zoe and she had known the question. "Since high school", she had answered while pressing Grace´s hand she had been holding in her´s and Grace had given her a short look.

Miles and Tristan had been silent for a while. Realizing what the two of them had been carrying together for so long time without a word. Zoe had pulled Grace closer. She had known without words that Grace hadn´t told them for her own sake - she had for them to be able to be there for her when the time has come.

And know they were here doing right that. And not just that. They had been great adapting to the knowledge. There hadn´t been any pity. They hadn´t been afraid of the topic but they hadn´t mentioned it unnecessarily either. In high school Zoe never would have thought of Grace becoming close friends with Tristan and Miles but it had happened and it hadn´t been a surprise that she had chosen to entrust them.

She saw Miles stopping in front of her desk grabbing a picture of the four of them laughing together. And suddenly she saw tears spilling down his cheeks. Tristan was there to hug him tight. They also had lost a friend. A few years back Miles had told Grace that he would miss her and tried to laugh it off but Grace and Zoe both had known, that he had meant it.

Silently she put the iPhone down and rose to join their hug putting their heads together.

###

In the evening a call from Maya came in. Zoe gave the phone to Tristan and he handled telling her about Grace´s CF. After Zoe had tried to hook up with Zig back in high school and Grace still deciding to be with her they had started to drift apart. But Grace had still written mails with them from time to time.

Three years back Zig and Maya had gone separate ways. Zig had wanted children, Maya had wanted her career. But from what she could hear now, Zig was at Maya´s right now. Both shocked with the news.

The last time Tristan had had such a long talk with Maya had been, when Zig and her had broken up. While listening to them talking Zoe went through the list of songs she had made and scratched some until she had only three left.

She gave Miles a weak smile and rose to go downstairs to Grace´s parents. Amia was cooking while Josephe was doing the dishes. They both looked worn.

Zoe stood in the door for a moment until they turned to her. She held out the list. "I chose the songs", she said tears brimming in her eyes.

Amia wiped her hands on a towel and came to hug her, stroking her head. "How are you doing?" She detached from her to look at her.

Zoe shrugged. "I thought I was prepared but I´m not."

"Being prepared doesn´t mean you can skip the grief of loosing someone", Amia said, "we were prepared since she was small. It still hurts. And that´s okay because we loved her."

Zoe nodded tears still streaking down her cheeks. Amia gave her a sad smile, stroking her cheek. "Tomorrow a friend of mine will come, she´ll sleep on the couch. Can you work something out with Tristan and Miles?"

Zoe took a breath. "I´m going back to the apartement tomorrow."

"You don´t need to", Amia said, "you can stay as long as you want."

Zoe shook her head. She needed distance. Distance from the room Grace had died in. The room she hadn´t entered since they had carried Grace out of there. "I want to. I need some space", she said.

Amia nodded with a sad smile. "Whatever you need."

"Thank you", Zoe said and gave her the same sad smile. Then she went back upstairs.

When she entered the room Tristan and Miles were asleep on the bed. Miles had his arm over Tristan´s waist. She stayed in the door and took in the picture.

After altering between dating and being friends all the time in high school they had decided that if they really wanted to stay in each other´s life they´d be better off as friends. But they always had been closer than usual male friends.

She watched them with a weak smile. Then she closed the door and went to sit at the window looking pensively into the darkness outside. It was the evening of her first day in a world without Grace.

###

The next day Tristan and Miles helped Zoe moving back to the apartment she had shared with Grace. The two of them had booked a hotel room at least for the first two nights. They wanted to give her space but didn´t want to be too far off.

While Zoe still had an apartment for her work downtown Toronto, most of the time she had lived with Grace a little outside of Toronto. Some of their friends lived there and Grace had taken a liking to the town and the nature. It had fuelled her creative work. That´s why they had decided to move out here.

After Tristan and Miles had said goodbye and left, she slowly got her shoes off and sat on the floor against the wall of the living room. She hugged her knees and just sat there for a long time. She felt empty and for the time being she was grateful for it because she was completely emotionally drained.

In the afternoon she went to bed and slept till the next day. She still didn´t feel much like eating, so breakfast was an orange. Afterwards she checked her mails and read the replies to her message. They had friends on the whole continent because they had travelled a lot together.

Some just expressed their sadness, others promised to come to the funeral. It was more of the later ones and it made Zoe cry again. There would be many people at Grace´s grave.

Later some of them even called. Some of Grace´s artist friends in town offered help but Zoe didn´t know what she could tell them to do.

In the afternoon Tristan and Miles called. "Want us to come over?", Tristan asked.

"No", Zoe hesitated, "no, I need the space."

"Okay", she heard Miles answering.

"Maya and Zig and Tiny and his wife are coming on Wednesday", Tristan told her.

Zoe wasn´t very happy about it. "Can you take care of them?", she asked, "I... can´t deal with them right now."

"They aren´t angry at you or something", Miles said, "if they are angry then it´s at themselves."

"No", Zoe said, "it´s just... all their questions..."

"We´re taking care of them", Tristan promised.

Zoe tried to smile. "Thanks."

"We ordered your favorite food by the way", Tristan changed the subject, "it should be there in about ten."

"I´m not...", Zoe started.

"Hungry?", Tristan asked, "really, Zoe, what did you eat today?"

"An orange", she admitted.

"If you want us to give you space you have to promise us to eat some", Tristan said sternly.

She sighed. "I will."

"Good." Tristan was content.

"Then call us whenever you need us", Miles added.

"I will", she promised again and they said their goodbyes.

###

The following two days Zoe visited Grace´s parents and Miles and Tristan tried to get her thoughts off the funeral but on Wednesday she was quite relieved that the two of them were busy with Maya, Zig and Tiny and she had another day for herself.

She went back to the spot on the floor she had sat on the first day and opened the picture folder on her phone. The first picture she opened was of the two of them standing in front of an old car, arms wrapped around each other´s shoulders with happy smiles. That was right after high school. Instead of going to college right away they had decided to take a year off and travel.

It had been a great year. So many experiences she wouldn´t want to miss. If it wouldn´t have been for Grace, she wouldn´t have dared to break free like that. She went on looking fondly at the pictures of their journey. At one she even had to smile. They had had a flat tire in the middle of nowhere. Zoe had been all drama about it but Grace hadn´t been fazed at all by her - as always and had gotten the spare tire from the trunk. She had even gotten Zoe to help her and in the end the tire had been on and they both completely dirty. Laughing Grace had leaned her against the car and they had kissed and held each other for quite some time. Grace might not have been into sex but she had always enjoyed their closeness.

She looked for a more recent picture of Grace and put her phone down looking at it. "I still love you so much", she said in a low voice tears falling down her face.

She still remembered clearly the day when they had said these words for the first time. After their talk on the rooftop it had taken them a year making sure they would work out even without sex. As much as they flowed together in every other aspect there still had been insecurities. But the more time had passed the more secure they had felt with their relationship.

They had been at the tables in front of the school and Zoe was throwing a tantrum about something completely unimportant. Grace had just watched her with a small grin and said: "I´d really miss it if you wouldn´t make a scene once in a while, you know. It´s so you."

Zoe had stared at her completely off guard and Grace had smiled. "I love all of your colors, you know."

Their eyes had met and Zoe had felt the tears in her eyes. Then she had thrown herself at Grace embracing her and holding tight. "I love you. You don´t know how much."

"I might have a clue", Grace had answered with a grin while they had separated.

Zoe had answered with a huff. "Why can´t you take this serious."

Grace had smiled. "I do. I just can´t do too cheesy."

Zoe had smiled as well. "That´s so you."

Back at her apartment Zoe hugged her knees and closed her eyes. Somehow those memories were soothing. As if something of Grace was still with her.

###

Zoe had come to church with the Cardinals. Miles, Tristan and the rest of their high school friends came together a bit later. Grace´s artist friends came after them waving her while Tristan and Miles came up to hug her. Zig and Maya only nodded at her while Tiny came up to shake hands with Zoe and the Cardinals. Then her friends went back to their row. Zoe would sit with the Cardinals.

From time to time she turned around seeing the church fill with people, recognizing people they had met on their journeys. Then the mass began. A pastor and an Anishnawbe elder held the mass together but Zoe could hardly follow them, her thoughts wandering back again.

When Grace had become an artist it had also opened up the way for her to take interest in the Anishnawbe traditions. Sometimes Zoe had gone with her to the center. Or sat in the living room her eyes closed listening to Grace play the drums and sing one of the old songs she had learned there or from her parents.

She blinked and realized that the last of the songs, she had chosen was playing. It was a happy one and it actually had been one of her own favorites first. Grace had loved it, too and they had often happily sung along with it together.

Afterwards the pastor and the elder spoke their last prayers. Then they all stood and made their way out of the church to drive to the cemetery.

When they got out of their cars some of their artist friends came up to them. They carried a colorful piece of cloth. "We...", one of them began, "we thought that maybe we could cover the coffin with this. We made it yesterday."

The gesture made Zoe nearly cry again. She should have thought of something like this herself. She looked up to the Cardinals. Amia nodded. "Sure", she said to their friends. Josephe nodded as well, obviously appreciating the gesture.

Together they went to the coffin where Josephe talked to the undertaker who just nodded. Two of their friends then covered the coffin and now that they saw the full banner for the first time Zoe couldn´t help but cry. It was colorful, with a peace sign in the middle and two hands holding each other beneath.

Miles put a hand on her shoulder while Tristan put his hand on the banner. "Gosh, what a beautiful idea."

Zoe stepped forward and when she put her hand on the banner Tristan took a step back. Zoe stroked the cloth. "I love you", she whispered.

Then she stepped back and six men stepped forward to carry the coffin to the open grave. They slowly escorted them.

At the grave the pastor and the elder held another speech, spoke another prayer and then the men let the coffin down into the grave. Zoe hid her face at Tristan´s shoulder crying.

Grace´s parents stepped to the grave to say goodbye. They threw roses and a hand full of soil on the coffin. Zoe was next. She stepped forward. She didn´t have a rose but one of Grace´s favourite flowers. She looked down at the coffin. The banner felt so right on it. She took the soil from the bowl and crouched to throw it down together with the flower. Then she stepped aside. Amia put a supportive hand on her back while they watched other relatives passing the grave. Miles and Tristan were the first of their friends. Zoe saw Tristan blinking away tears and Miles crying silent tears. They threw their roses and earth down on the coffin and then joined her.

It took a while until the last ones had passed the grave and people scattered to talk. Amia and Josephe went to the group of artists to thank for the banner and Tristan went to talk to Maya and Zig while Miles stayed close by. Tiny and his wife came up to Zoe to talk to her.

"Hey, if you need anything call me", he offered, "I mean I can come down here for a week if you need to move Grace´s stuff out or something."

"I haven´t thought of that yet", Zoe answered, "and we have friends around here."

It was then that she realized that Tiny just wanted to do something even if it was something small. "Grace always wanted Degrassi to get her old instruments. I don´t want to send them via mail. Maybe you can drive them down there."

Tiny nodded gratefully. "I´ll do that."

First he wanted to shake her hand, then he gave her a spontaneous hug. His wife shook her and Miles´ hand and then they went on. Now they could hear Tristan, Maya and Zig talking.

"Why did she never trust us?" Maya was on the border to being hysterical. "And why did she trust her even back then already?"

"Cause she loved her", Tristan simply pointed out.

"But we could have helped her", Maya cried while Zig tried to hold her.

Tristan shook his head. "She didn´t need help. You couldn´t have done anything." When Maya wanted to protest again, he seriously looked at her. "Listen, she was happy. She didn´t die like Cam, okay?"

Maya stared at him only now realizing why she was so upset. Tears running down her cheeks while she leaned against Zig. "I´m sorry."

"Maybe you should tell that to her", Tristan said pointing to Zoe, "there stands the person who´s the saddest of us and that had the biggest part in Grace´s happiness. Maybe you should start to acknowledge that."

"He´s right", Zig said now and Maya nodded.

Together they went up to Zoe. They didn´t talk long but at the end Maya even gave her a hug. Zig and her offered help as well and then they said goodbye.

Zoe asked Tristan and Miles to bring her home. She took a last look at the open grave and said goodbye to the Cardinals. Then they left the cemetery.

###

Later that evening Zoe got ready for bed and somehow it felt right to finally enter Grace´s room - for the first time since her death. They each had their own room in their apartment even though they often slept together in one of them.

She opened the door and took in the room. Grace´s favorite painting stood on her easel - as usual when she wasn´t working on a new one. Zoe stepped closer and let her hand travel over the colors that Grace had splashed on the canvas until she reached the bottom of it where Grace had put the title and her signature: "All of my colors" by "Grace"

"You are the only one that knows all of my colors and you love them", Grace had explained to her with a smile, "as I love all of yours."

Remembering those words Zoe had to smile even though it was a sad one. It had been on their first journey that Grace had discovered painting for herself. They had met a street live artist and he had taken them to the local artist center and it was as if Grace had opened a door in herself she hadn´t known existed. She still had studied IT later and worked just enough to make a living from it. But her art had been far more important to her.

For the moment Zoe felt at peace and turned to the bed. She laid down and put the blanket over herself. It still smelled of Grace. She stroked it with her hand and smiled and even though it still wasn´t late she fell asleep.

###

In the next weeks Zoe decided to move out of the apartment. At first she wanted to move to her own apartment in Toronto downtown until Miles offered her to stay with him for a while. His house was too big for him alone anyway. And after thinking about it she decided that it was a good idea to not be alone for a while.

The day she was moving out the Cardinals had come to help and pick up some of Grace´s things Zoe couldn´t fit in her apartment. When they later stood in front of the house ready to leave Amia hugged Zoe while Josephe put a hand on her shoulder. "You´re still welcome with us", Amia said pulling back a bit, "we don´t want to loose you as well."

Zoe couldn´t say how much those words meant to her. The more estranged she had become from her own mother, after she had told her that she was with Grace and didn´t intend in the slightest to change that, the closer she had become to Grace´s parents. And she hadn´t intended in the slightest to cut ties with them now. "You won´t", she said with a smile.

Amia nodded and then Josephe and her got into the car and drove away. For a moment Zoe just stood there and looked after them. Until Miles came and put an arm over her shoulders. "Ready to go, roomie?"

She turned to him and nodded. "Just let me say goodbye." He nodded and let go of her. When she went back to the house Tristan passed her carrying the last box. He knew what she was up to and just nodded at her.

Up in the apartment she went through the empty rooms. It was as if she could still hear the echoes of their voices. Laughing, arguing, talking. She looked at the spot on the floor she had sat on so often since Grace was gone.

She turned and saw each of them on their end of the couch working in companionable silence. Or rolling laughing and kissing over the couch that wasn´t there anymore now. She knew it had been the right choice to move out. That way in her memories this apartment would always be the one they had lived in together.

Suddenly she felt so grateful. "Thank you", she whispered with tears running down her cheeks, "thank you."

Then she took a shaking breath and turned to leave the apartment. When she left the house Tristan was already there to hug her and she was grateful for it. Then they got into the car where Miles was already waiting and while he pulled the car on the street she looked back with a small smile before she leaned back against the back of her seat and closed her eyes.

*End chapter 1