My Love

My eyes watch her contently as she casually hangs up the numerous clothes on the washing line. The day is beautiful, and the small breeze soothing. I let my hands rest behind my head against one of the many trees in our garden; my eyes not daring to dart from her. She looks beautiful from here; a happy smile on her soft face, a little song leaving her mouth in simple hums. I smile to myself at the thought of being here today. I had been away for seven years – seven whole long years. No friends, no Gohan…and no Chichi. Just me.

Sitting here now makes me regret ever deciding to stay in Other World. I didn't think it would be so difficult being away that long. Sure, I was occupied most of the time with training and learning new techniques…but that's not what I wanted.

I keep telling myself over and over – You made a choice! And that choice was to keep your family and friends safe! Without me here I thought for sure that no evil would come to Earth; no harm would come to them. But I was wrong. I was very wrong. It was peaceful for the best part of those seven years, but then came Babidi and and Majin Buu. Just think, what would have happened if I hadn't been able to come back? What if the Old Kai in Other World couldn't have given his life for me? I know for sure that Chichi and my children wouldn't be here right now.

I shake my head and close my eyes for a blissful moment. Now wasn't the time to think about that; but it would always remain in the depths of my mind. Being on the edge of loosing your family wasn't something you could just forget about. Maybe a long time ago, it would have been a slightly different story, but now, I know that I couldn't live here on Earth without them.

A small cheer suddenly disturbs me and I open my eyes. I smile delighted to see my youngest son running about by his mother's legs, cheering and laughing about something. He is probably the one I feel most guilty about. My little Goten, only seven years old. I only met him yesterday and already I feel as though he's always been here with me. Its funny how attached you get to someone. Even if you've only just met them. Heh, the story of my life I guess. As soon as I met Chichi I was attached. Love was unfamiliar territory to me and I couldn't bare to have her too far from me. I know it irritated her sometimes, having me always wondering were she was or having me always around her, but having someone in my life like that was something new and I was only being cautious. I was only protecting her. Just like I do now.

Goten skips around her some more, seeming pretty happy about something. I wonder what he thinks of me. I was overjoyed when I first saw him; his little innocent face peeking out from behind Chichi. I wasn't shocked at all; I knew he was to be born. I was more surprised at how identical he looked compared to me. I purposely gave him to Chichi not too long before I fought Cell. We had talked about having a second child and I had haunting feelings that something was to happen to me against Cell, and I knew that giving her a child was the best thing I could do for her. He would have kept her occupied and kept her going. I know she cried for me for so many nights, and Kami only knows how much it hurt to know my wife suffered because of my decision. But Goten was what she needed. Whenever she would cry, he would be my hand that wiped away her tears, he would be my arms that comforted her and kept her safe, just like Gohan was.

But the guilt would always remain out of all this. The guilt of leaving them, the guilt of failing them. Because I did fail them. I couldn't beat Cell, so I did fail. That is the hardest thing to swallow; knowing you weren't successful in protecting your family.

My eyes watch as Goten runs off back into the house in an eager excitement. I chuckle to myself. He is an energetic little boy, just as naïve and innocent as I was as a child. Well, apparently I am still like that, but just a little bit. I have grown up a lot since Cell. I have had seven years to grow, to learn and to think about what I had. Those seven years were precious to me. Not because I became stronger, but because they made me realise how important my family really were to me.

You really don't know what you got until it's gone you know. That's a phrase I believe in now, because I have experienced it and felt it.

Chichi picks up the final piece of clothing and pegs it up onto the line. She lets out a small sigh and gathers up the basket in her arms and takes it inside.

I didn't really realise just how amazing my wife was until yesterday. I didn't realise how precious and how irreplaceable she was. No one could match her; no one could take her place. She is priceless, and for so many reasons I've lost count.

She's so strong. Kami, she's just so strong. And I don't mean in a martial Arts fighting sense, I mean in a motherly, carrying on and being strong for our children kind of sense. No matter how hard things are for her, she never lets that strong sturdy reputation of hers break. She doesn't let anything get the better of her and that's something I admire, it's something that inspires me. Her love, her care, her devotion, everything…everything she is and does amazes me. What would I do without her? What would I be without her?

I'd be nothing.

She's cared for me; she's cried for me, she's suffered for me. She bares scars that only I know exist, and only I can see.

I can see her through the kitchen window now and she is most likely cleaning something. She is my world Kami. Her arms are my guarded castle in the sky, a place where no one can get me, a place where I am loved and cared for. It may sound strange, but when I'm in her arms I feel so safe. I feel no one can take her from me or me from her. I feel like whoever tries to take me from her will perish just from one touch. Her embrace is that strong to me. Nothing can destroy it.

I can't help but blush as she carefully unbuttons her collar from the heat. She makes me blush so easily, it's incredible. But then why wouldn't I blush? Why wouldn't I heat up because of her? She is the meaning of beauty. Everything about her makes me all warm and tingly.

She's like a drug. I am addicted to her and I can't stop craving for her. Dying literally only made that craving worse. It built up and up; stronger and stronger, deeper are deeper. It was begging for release and I could only hold it in with all my Saiyan might.

Until last night.

Last night I was relieved, last night I was ridden of the 'burden'. I was finally able to have her again; I was finally able to make her mine once more.

Love was once a confusing thing to me, but now I know my soul and my heart couldn't go on without it. But when you think of love, you think of two people holding hands and sharing kisses, maybe getting married and having kids. But no, that's what love needs. What love really is, is something so much deeper, something that ties your soul to another's. Her soul is bonded to mine, our hearts are intertwined. I can feel what she feels, I know what she thinks. In a sense we are one being. And that is something I don't think I could live without now.

I'm not a very emotional guy, but staying in Other World for seven years gets the better of you. I couldn't feel her, I couldn't hear her - I wasn't connected at all. It killed me more than any attack from Cell could have done. Kami only knows how much I hurt…how much she hurt.

My beautiful wife emerges from the house once more; worry upon her face as she was searching for something. I smile again, for probably the fifth time this morning. She always worries. There's always something that worries her or makes her uneasy, no matter how strong she is. And that's what angers her, that's what turns my wife into a raging bull. It isn't her fault, and I have never blamed her. Sure, she can be a little too harsh but it's not something I can't live with.

She scares me to death when she yells the house down. She has a fierce temper, one I sure don't mess with. But the thought of being scared thrills me. I get so excited inside when she rows at me over something that isn't so important. She looks so cute when she shouts too. Her little nose flares up and her eyes come alight with a fire which threatens to burn me. But it's a fire I want to fall into; it's a fire that has no pain, but complete pleasure.

And pleasure is something she gives a lot of.

May it be her cooking, her love, the way she cares or her love-making. It all feels good. So very good.

Every time we share those intimate moments together, they are never the same, there's always something different or new and that's what makes it exciting. We get separated so many times, for weeks, months or even years! But when we are reunited again it's like falling in love with her again and getting to know her body all over again. Just what she wears makes it that much more thrilling because I can't wait to see what is underneath. No matter how many times I have seen her body I always blush and stare when I undress her. Weird? I guess it is in a way, but Chichi doesn't mind it.

But she fills me Kami; she completes me in more ways than one. Just the feel of her skin against my own, and her smell and her taste. It all drives me on; it all makes me come alive. It's intense yet affectionate when we are intimate; I can feel her love and I can feel her heart beating with mine. Everything just…fits together like it was meant to. Like a child's puzzle. I'm not saying our relationship is easy, because it's far from easy. Some days we would be happy, others…we had to really work at it. Our relationship is far from perfect, and that's how it will always be. We fight, we scream, we cry and we get angry with one another. But we wouldn't have it any other way. In a sense, having it this way makes it more real to me.

I love her Kami. I love her so much it hurts sometimes. I have bled for her, I have died for her, I have suffered through Hell for her. And I'd do it over and over again if I had to. I'd do anything for her.

My casual happy-go-lucky smile changes to one of love as she spots me shading beneath the trees. I see her once worried face light up and she walks over. I stand up and dust of my jeans, my longing warm smile waiting for her as she approached quite quickly. When she reached me she almost dived into my arms; her strong yet skinny arms wrapping around my waist protectively as if I was going somewhere.

It's hard being me. It really is. My friends say how easy my life is. They say I got a girl without wooing her, then out come the kids and I can easily defeat anyone that crosses my path. But no, it's not like that. They really haven't any idea what it's like being me. They'd probably be very surprised if they were to swap shoes with me. But being 'The Great Son Goku' isn't all it's cracked up to be.

It's a difficult role. Being protector of Earth was one of the many reasons why I never thought about settling down with a family. It was too dangerous because of whom I was and it would have been hard to live with the idea of putting my family in danger.

But Chichi…she was different. She was like me, un-afraid of the dangers and willing to risk them with me. Thinking about it now, I wonder if she would have been better off without me. She wouldn't have had to suffer. She would have lead a normal life without pain, without fear, without worrying, without being alone. But as she stares up at me with that heart melting smile, I know she wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

Our arms wrap around one another as we walk back towards the house in a comfortable silence. I wonder how long this peace will last. I hope it does for a long time now. I know I should hope it would last forever but sometimes a new threat gets the better of me and I cannot wait to fight and test my abilities.

Foolish? Selfish? Dangerous?

Yes, most probably. But that's who I am. I am a Saiyan; I hunger for a good fight. Fighting will always be a big part of me and it will always be there. I can't just…loose it, like my car keys or something.

Sometimes I hate being me. I hate who I am and I hate the way I am. I sometimes wish I could be 'normal' and live a 'normal' life, but then if I was only human this world would have been destroyed years ago. I wouldn't have my friends, I wouldn't have my adventures and I definitely wouldn't have Chichi and my children. But…I am proud of who I am. Heh, how can someone hate themselves yet be proud at the same time? I don't know, I really don't. I guess I just feel that sometimes I do a good job in protecting those who are innocent and standing up for them. I feel I have achieved something amazing when I know the people are safe again.

I feel a gentle nudging to my side and curiously I look down to see Chichi smiling up at me. She must have wondered what I was thinking about so intensively. I reassure her with a warm smile that everything is ok and I place a soft kiss on her forehead as we enter our home.

I really missed this place when I was gone. I really missed the family feeling it gave you and the love and warmth it enveloped. My little Goten comes barging into the hallway and tackles my legs, a huge grin on his face. I laugh at him, Chichi chuckling away at the boy's excitement also. I guess Chichi wasn't the only one who had missed me whilst I was away. Even though he had never met me; He thought about me and questioned my absence quite a bit, Chichi told me. It makes my heart lift that much more knowing that the boy really did love me. I thank Chichi and Gohan for that; they told Goten all about me, and I am thankful they inspired him with my stories.

I picked Goten up and settled him on my shoulders; my one arm still wrapped gently around my wife. We walk into the lounge; two figures sat on the floor preparing a board game of some sort. Gohan welcomes me with a warm smile, Videl too – now a member of our small but ever growing family.

We all sat around the game and played well into the night; laughing and having more fun that I could remember.

I smile and look out of the window and into the sky.

"Thank you Kami" I whisper.