PLEASE READ!: In a fit of inadequacy and self-loathing I tore this story down from fan fiction and vowed that it was just going to be another unfinished fic. However, I desperately missed my characters and I missed writing. For me, writing is a release and takes me away. I have recently discovered that I don't need to be the best. I just need to be me and do the best I can do. This fanfiction readers, is my best. I pray you enjoy it even if you have read it under its previous title: WANDERERS. I thank you for reading from the bottom of my heart. Please enjoy and feel free to give any feedback. I love hearing from you guys. And so it begins: =]

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of this fan fiction. No copyright infringement is intended. The content of this fan fiction does not represent the views of the author.

Chapter One.

It was the worst day of my life, and let me assure you I have lived enough days for an eternity. This day, by far, was the day I will never forgive myself for as long as I may exist.

Alice made a promise to me the day that I left Bella that she would no longer keep tabs on her. It wasn't right for either of us. A clean break. Ha! What a fool I had been. What a complete fool. For eight months I had figuratively withered away. My spirit and my drive were left back in Forks, Washington with a dark-haired beauty while my body seemed to just float about. I rarely thought of anything but my Bella. She haunted me with every step I took, and I came to appreciate the fact that her mind was the only one I could not read. If I had read her, my resolve would have been broken months ago.

It never bothered me, living alone while my "siblings" had their significant others. I simply thought that that life was not meant for me. No harm, no foul. I had never met anyone worth living for, so I assumed that bachelor life was the path for me. I was never the one to pine for women, but then I met Bella.

She danced within the confines of everyone's thoughts completely unaware that I knew the secret workings of all of their minds. She had subconsciously taken over the whole male population of Forks within a day, and everyone wanted to meet this new addition to the Forks cult. I will admit that the arrival of Chief Swan's daughter intrigued even me far more than I had expected it to. I wanted to see what she really looked like. I wanted to believe for myself that she was as commonly beautiful as all the men said. Well, talk of her was nothing like the real thing.

She was perfection; I instantly fell in love.

Separation, however, was taking its nasty toll upon me. Alice and I were staring out upon the frozen tundra of Alaska. I was numb- not from the cold, but because my aching heart (or what was left of it) had turned to ice. I was aware of my blank stare, but it was something I could not dwell too long on for my thoughts were ruminating on nothing more than Isabella. How I wished I could hold her again, kiss her, love her.

I laughed bitterly. The sound was harsher than I had anticipated as it ripped through the serene peacefulness of the barren ice land. Beside me, Alice jumped a little and turned her head ever so slightly to see what had caused the sudden outburst for it was not like me to suddenly break out with noises. At least, it hadn't been.

Love her. Hah! As if she would want me. How could she love what I was? I was a mystery to her- nothing more. I was an unsolved puzzle and when all the pieces had been put together she would have dismembered me bit by bit and put me back in my box where I belonged. I was a monster. All of us were monsters. It was right to leave her. Bella could do so much better than me. It was a fact. How could she love a soul-less monster like me? It was unfathomable on so many different levels.

I on the other hand yearned for her with every passing moment. My life without Bella Swan was incomplete. Without her warm touch and dazzling smile, my world was plunged into a blackened abyss that sent me into a whirling depression. Nothing motivated me any longer. She was all I could think about and I had to physically bind myself on more than one occasion to keep from running back to the rainy, suburban Forks, Washington to reclaim what was not rightfully mine.

She was never mine to begin with.

I had never known than such beauty, such passion could emanate from any one being. That is what had attracted me to her, other than her glorious smell of course. Never before had I had such a desire for anything. I didn't think it was possible, but when I saw her for the first time in the lunchroom at Forks High, I knew my life was forever changed.

Beside me, Alice sighed and looked straight ahead again, pulling me out of my thoughts. She too was thinking about Bella. The two had become very close over the summer and had formed a strong friendship. I suppose it was unfair of me to forbid her from saying goodbye, but I couldn't bear it. It had to be quick and painless- like ripping off a band-aid (or so I have heard.) I could not prolong my pain, nor could I cause Bella any more than I had already put her through.

"Please don't think about her." I mumbled to Alice after a few moments. I couldn't handle the thought of her now. I had good days and bad days. If you could believe it, today was a good day.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "Edward…"

I already knew what she was going to say. 'Why don't you go back? I know how much you're hurting and I'm sure she is in as much pain as you are.' Bullshit. She was done with me. She had tired of me long before I decided to leave. "No."

"Why not Edward?" Alice sounded angry now. Alice rarely became angry with me anymore- it was no use. Whatever tiffs she began I always ended up winning. She quickly learned that there was not a chance in the world of getting her way when it came to my relationship with Bella. She didn't understand. How could she? "God knows how horribly you have been torturing yourself. I can hear you at night when you think no one is listening. I see you go into the woods surrounding the house. Edward, I hear you cry for her when you're in your own world and block the rest of your family out.

"Edward we are not daft. We all know how much you miss her. We miss her too, don't you see? She was my friend. She was my best friend, and she loved you more than you ever knew. Esme and Carlisle, Edward, they are so worried about you. They don't know what to do anymore- we don't know what to do!"

Her voice began rising and echoed off of the mounds of ice that surrounded us. She was becoming angry. So was I. "Edward, you are my brother and I love you, but why are you doing this to yourself? This is ridiculous! Bella…"

"ENOUGH!" I had not realized how horribly my hands were shaking. I was furious. I could only imagine how wild my eyes looked, for the frustration was wiped clear from Alice's face and replaced with a hint of fear.

No one was allowed to mention her name. It was taboo. Alice knew that.

"We are not discussing this right now Alice." I hissed, my tone saturated in venom.

Alice looked down, "I'm sorry I brought it up Edward. I just want you to be happy."

"I am happy."

Alice looked up at me, her brows creased and met in the center of her forehead before she erupted into a bought of condescending laughter. "Yes of course, Edward. I can see the jubilance just exploding from your features."

"Stop it, Alice." I whispered. I didn't need this right now.

She continued, ignoring my request. She seized my face in one of her hands, forcing me to look at her. "Look at this happiness!" She slapped my face lightly. "Wow, you know it really… it really…" She stopped abruptly.

Alice dropped her hand, allowing it to fall limply to her side. Her eyes were suddenly ominously wide and blank. She was shaking her head ever so slightly, her eyes welling up with tears. She began mouthing something, an unspoken plea – her lips trembling. She reached out and when she found nothing before her, Alice began to panic.

"Alice?" I asked fear creeping into my voice. I had never seen her like this. The only other time she had looked remotely like she did was when James' coven had come to find our family.

My sister turned, hurriedly walking forward, her arms outstretched as if to prevent someone from moving; to call them back to safety. Alice was shaking violently now as tears freely fell from her anxious face. "Don't…"

"Alice?" I asked again, closing the gap between us and seizing her shoulders. Alarm filled my body as I shook her. "Alice! What is it? What's going on?"

She was fiercely shaking her head now as she broke free from my grasp, running forward. A frantic cry erupted from her lips before she threw her arms out to the invisible being before her. "NO!" Alice screamed before she broke into terrible sobs and collapsed to the floor, quaking. "No!"

I sunk to my knees taking Alice's trembling, sobbing body in my arms. A voice, the voice which I had blocked from my mind long ago then resounded through my head, her voice full of desperation. "Goodbye, I love you."