I am sorry to say that these few burdened pages will not contain anything to do with "The Littlest Elf." In fact, these few burdened pages are so miserable and unnerving that only a person with an utter unimaginable job would continue to read further. If you are a person with that unimaginable job then it is truly hard for me to say this, but you should start a new profession. If you do start a new profession-be it a cook, an author, or even the city's sixth most important financial advisor-do not even think about reading any further than this sentence.
If you are reading this right now then you are not very good at following instructions. So this is the last warning, go find a new job and stop reading. It is my very profession to research the sad events that occur within the Baudelaire's lives and write them down in hopes of the last V.F.D members reading the sad tales and at least try to help. If you are, by coincidence, one of these V.F.D members, please continue to read and locate the exact location of which the Baudelaires must be held.
Count Olaf is right behind them and I am sorry to say, that he will never choose another profession so long as it is in the right. Count Olaf, I am sorry to say is a deceiving man with an unimaginable job that is suitable to read further and one eyebrow instead of two. Count Olaf, I am sorry to say he could be tracking you down whilst you are reading this horrid book It's not too late to close this book, run up a mountain and leave it there. That is a wise decision and a wise profession.
A profession, if you don't already know what it is, is a job. A job can earn you money, and a job can make you work without pay. A job can be unbelievably splendid, and a job can be inconsiderably unpleasant. I myself have a profession. My profession is to research the events of the Baudelaires and record them in a series of pages that are held within something I call a book. This profession is inconsiderably unpleasant and makes me work without pay. I have once lost a dear friend because of this profession. My dear Beatrice, if you are reading this right now, I am still in the works of finding you.
Every profession, no matter what it is, will require you to do something. Mr. Poe for instance, had a profession of which he had to find a temporary home for the three misfortunate orphans. Temporary, because every home they are in are most likely to be 'temporary homes' as the guardians turn out to be dead the next day, or one of Count Olaf's henchmen.
Violet Baudelaire, the eldest of the three, peered out the cab window. Violet had the profession of a fifteen year-old inventor. Or at least, she had the talent of such. She most likely wouldn't be able to have a profession ofan inventoras it would require her to stay in one spot, inventing new thingssuch asa mind-reading device to transmit brainwaves through a tube so that someone of an unimaginable profession could find out what the secret to the V.F.D organizations were. She continued to stare out to space, unsure of what was to become of them.
Klaus, her fourteen year-old brother, stared along with her, also thinking of what was to become of them. Klaus was a bright young fellow. He carried the profession of a ravishing bookworm whom could remember everything he read out of books. This talent of his came quite in handy in a series of cases that the three had encountered in the past. He, just like his older sister, didn't really have the profession of a ravishing bookworm, but the hobby of such.
And Finally, Sunny, the youngest of them all who had just recently grown out of baby-hood completed the stare-out-the window activity the three seemed to do in a number of occasions with Mr. Poe. She hadn't had a profession, but recently she had become quitea cook. Her cooking skills had fed them many times, and even saved herself when a dangerous fungus had grown in her helmet.
"Snicket," Sunny said, finally breaking the awkward silence. Violet and Klaus nodded.
"That's what she said her name was. Kit Snicket," Klaus replied in a whisper. He pointed his finger at the driver seat where Kit was seated. As if she had heard the two speak she turned up the volume of the radio that had been playing quite a long while.
"I know you three must be in a great amount of confusion and worry," Kit said. "But I assure you that from now on you will be safe in the hands of V.F.D"
Theysighed, unable to take in that fact. It had been the longest of times since they were truly safe, and that was when their parents were still alive. Maybe V.F.D would finally bring them the answer that had them flabbergasted- a word which here means "confused them to their down right gut."- Was one of their parents alive?
Klaus cleared his throat. "So Ms. Snicket"
"Please do call me Kit. Ms. Snicket makes me feel ever so old" She interrupted.
Klaus arched an eyebrow. "Okay, so Kit, my siblings and myself were just wondering about a number of things. Firstly, is one of our-"
"Ah yes, I assumed you would be concerned of whether or not to trust me, but I do assure you, I am completely safe and I am someone you can trust" She interrupted once again, quite proud of herself for answering his question, although it wasn't the answer to his question for his question was never something of the sort. Klaus, who was merely thirteen, knew entirely to have some manners so he hadn't corrected her.
After that brief conversation there wasn't much chatter the rest of the way. The only noise was the clicking of the broken radio-which Violet seemed to have some interest in fixing later on- and the rattling noises from the engine. Other than that there was complete silence.
A few hours later, or what seemed to be a few hours but could have been a few days, the engine finally stopped. The three orphans had fallen asleep a long time before and had been awaken abruptly at the sound of the door slamming. Kit was quick to apologize, and smiled as she thought of how proud she was to think quickly. They had stopped at a gas station to replenish the car-a phrase that here means, "to put some more gas into the gas tank so they wouldn't stop in the middle of nowhere, which I believe they had already accomplished."
"We're in the middle of nowhere," Violet whispered to her siblings. Sunny agreed, but Klaus seemed unsure. He was fidgeting with his fingers in a childish manner and kept peering out into the window every so often. "Is something wrong?"
Klaus shook his head. "No, of course not, well, at least I think so." He replied hesitantly. He looked up at his sister's innocent face and sighed. "Well, don't you feel a bit déjà vu?"
Sunny stared at Klaus for a moment with a sign of relief. She nodded her head and waited for Violet to answer. Violet nodded as well. The word déjà vu simply means something that makes you feel as if you had already seen the same thing once before. For example, if you were to fly off a plane without the common sense of bringing a parachute, but then the next day you find yourself doing the whole thing over again-surprisingly still alive-you are feeling déjà vu. I myself had experienced déjà vu not so long ago. I was amongst the streets of Lousy Lane researching the Baudelaires' new guardian when I found myself sitting in a train. After the unpleasant ride I then hustled off and was once again amongst the streets of Lousy Lane researching the Baudelaires' new guardian.
They were all in silence as they listened to the conversation going on between Kit and the workers at the gas station. The workers there, of course had the profession of filling up cars with fuel and then collecting an unreasonable amount of money when all the while I am here, typing the very miserable moments of which the Baudelaires had once had, without getting paid at all.
Klaus and Sunny ignored their recent conversation about déjà vu and peaked out the windows at Kit and the gas station worker. Klaus, however was stuck in her own little world, conjuring up thoughts of a series of books that could somehow bring them back in time to before their parents had perished. He knew herself however that even the most intelligent Baudelaire could make no such discovery as it would mean breaking the laws of physics- a phrase which here means ' loosening the hopes for the three as the whole thing would start over again with the parents, and he wouldn't want them to go through what he had been going through'.
Kit walked back towards the car and lifted the door open. She plopped herself down unto the seat and fastened her seatbelt ready to go.Kit turned on the engine and looked back at the rear end of the car while also smiling at the three orphans and started the engine. She winded the window down and waved to the worker. The next thing they knew they were back on the road that would lead them to a place unknown, but something gave them the feeling that something good was about to happen. As you may know, however, that looks may be deceiving. The same saying should go for feelings as well, because when you feel happy on a rainy Sunday morning with freezing temperatures that cause the rain to turn to hail, you may not look too well but feeling well just makes it worse.
This would suit the Baudelaires case entirely.