Title: Before it's too Late
Summary: It was something probably anyone would've done. If they had enough nerves running through their body, enough sanity to keep them from regret and, the right words to keep them from fumbling. In short it was something I never thought I would've done… HitsuHina
A/N:I've always wondered how things would've turned out if Hitsugaya couldn't take it anymore. In my opinion he's being such an idiot. --, But that's why I love him!! He's such a lovable idiot. --, This unrequited love stuff is really biting into me. --, Inspired from Goo Goo Dolls: Before It's Too Late.
For the readers of AFTERMATHdon't worry it's just my usual case of writer's block. I do accept theme requests by the way, so just drop them on your reviews okay?
SPOILERS: Please watch episode 125 and 126 before you start poking my eyes out. --, As for the manga read chapter 223: The Scarlet Creation and chapter 224 Imitated Gaiety before you start poking my eyes out again. --,
Disclaimer: Look if I owned this I wouldn't be here writing this, this would actually happen in the series! But sadly I don't own so you don't sue okay?
"Hitsugaya-taichou."
His brows furrowed as First Division Captain Yamamoto Genryuusai called his name. He was currently at Inoue Orihime's living room where he and his Vice-Captain, Matsumoto Rangiku, set up an insanely huge television with wires as thick as tree branches just so they can establish clear contact with Soul Society. Together with Inoue Orihime, Yamamoto Genryuusai shared to them their findings on the investigations on Aizen Souske and his plot in the human world and was ordered to train and, prepare themselves for the inevitable battle. Yamamoto gave orders to both Rangiku and Orihime and they left minutes after they were commanded. Hitsugaya was about to excuse himself but, he was called back.
"Yes Yamamoto-taichou?"
Did he forget any important details?
Then why did he disperse Matsumoto and Orihime?
He winced, is it something important that he had to wait till I was alone?
"A certain someone requests that she speaks to you."
She…?
To say he was surprised would be an understatement. Well before being relieved, relaxed and, reassured he was awake and walking in reality, he was startled, shocked, stupefied and he actually thought he was sleeping and he was in a dream too idealistic to be reality.
In short he was knocked out of his wits.
Hitsugaya, Toushirou the proud prodigy and Captain of Soul Society's 10th division was actually knocked out of his wits by the sight that was brought in front of his very eyes. Hinamori, Momo his precious childhood friend and Vice-Captain of Soul Society's 5th division, was standing there on the screen alive and well.
"Hitsugaya-kun?" She sounded quite unsure of herself. She was sure that she was determined to face him and, she's practiced in her mind, the things she had to say; how the conversation would start, how it should flow and, how she can brighten things up even just a little. Everything she practiced just blew up in her face when she was already there face to face.
His jade orbs softened and were washed with relief. He can tell just by looking that she's felt better before compared to the state she was now. There's only one way to find out.
"Are you alright now?"
She was startled but she still smiled, "I'm fine."
He's known her for a long time to know that she isn't a good liar. You don't look fine you idiot. You look as terrible as dead…
There it is goes again, the trembling in her voice echoes in his ears as she fumbles for the words to say, "I'm sorry… Hitsugaya-kun." His jade orbs widened slightly but, he didn't speak up and allowed her to continue, "I pointed a sword at you and pointed all the blame at you… I… I… I even thought you were a traitor… I'm so sorry…" Awkward silence enveloped the room and Hinamori just stared on the floor waiting for a reply.
He was laughing inside as he choose his words carefully. He allowed himself to grin, "Baka."
Did she just hear right? "Eh?"
"Don't worry about it, besides you should take a look at yourself and take care of your body."
A small smile. That was a good enough for an improvement. It would take long but, he would wait. He always waited.
The dull atmosphere was quite suffocating, "You should go back and get some sleep and loose the bags under your eyes. You're starting to look like a panda."
Hinamori just winced at the insult but it kept on coming, "I mean look at your yourself it would take ten years of beauty sleep if you're going to catch up to the likes of Matsumoto."
Now that was hitting below the belt, "HEY that's unfair! It's Rangiku-san we're talking about here and, her level is practically light years away from me!!"
"My sentiments exactly."
Her cheeks puffed in frustration, "Besides I don't need to be hearing lectures about growth coming from you Hitsugaya-kun!!! Of all people!!"
"Hinamori!" He barked causing her to stop her ranting.
Sometimes he wonders if the time would come when he would be fed up about constantly reminding her about this simple fact. It annoys him to no end and, he should probably ask her if she does this intentionally or she actually has short/long term memory problems. Strangely he never gets tired of it, it just annoys him.
"It's Hitsugaya-taichou, not Hitsuguya-kun."
Guilt clung through her words, "Yes you're right… You're a captain too."
And then it came again. The inevitable silence wrapping around them made Hitsugaya's previous attempt of cheering her up futile and fruitless. But it felt different and drove a chunk of ice down his throat that kept his voice tact. If he forced himself to speak his voice might end up croak and rigid. He didn't like this feeling at all.
"You're going up against Aizen-taichou aren't you?"
I wandered through fiction and looked
For the truth buried beneath all the lies
Why am I not surprised… His jade eyes turned cold in disappointment. After all the worrying he's managed to hold down for the first few minutes she just breaks it up by surfacing her usual paranoia. He's made up his mind; he knows the answer to that question without giving it any second thoughts.
"Yes."
She didn't seem surprised either. Her tiny hands clutched her robes, "I see."
He scanned her hazel eyes turning to a dull shade. Disappointment was clearly written all over her face. Well that makes both of them and once again their even.
You shouldn't concern yourself with him anymore… Just leave it to me.. Go get some sleep instead you idiot…
"Hitsugaya-kun… please… please save Aizen-taichou!"
And I stood at a distance to feel who you are
Hiding myself in your eyes
After all he's done to Soul Society… to us… to you… You still believe in him… He was gritting his teeth so tightly he swore he could make his gums bleed. He had to hold himself back from saying anything at the moment. There has to be reason behind all this…Of course he knows the reason behind it. The voice from the back of his head keeps chanting it ever so sadly it was starting to sound like a broken record. Hitsugaya doesn't want to admit it.
He never will. "Hinamori."
"You have to save him Hitsugaya-kun! I'm sure something evil is behind his actions. There must be somebody or something pulling the strings…. I'm sure it must be Ichimaru-taichou must be behind all this!!"
He thought of what Matsumoto would say if she heard what she just said. Among the thirteen divisions of Soul Society the ones who suffered the heaviest shock would probably be his division. He was sure Matsumoto was in the same state of shock as Hinamori was except Matsumoto was handling it a lot better than Hinamori. Hearing what Hinamori just said would probably earn a slap from Matsumoto. Even if it was a television screen the slap would probably pierce right through it. But that would be another problem…
"It must be Ichimaru-taichou right? That's why Aizen-taichou—"
Gritting his teeth wasn't enough now. He doubted that clenching his fists would do him any good either. He doesn't like what he's hearing. What does he see in him that makes her believe him after all that they've gone through?
Do I really have to go this far this time? Just to open your eyes?
"STOP IT AND OPEN UP YOUR EYES HINAMORI!!"
Hinamori stepped back in surprise, her hazel eyes widened in disbelief. He's never raised his voice like this before… Did she say something wrong to make him shout like that?
"Why… Why do you still believe in him?..." The pace of his voice was intentionally slow, slow enough for her to hear and hopefully understand every word he says, "He blackmailed you into pointing a sword at me, he stabbed his very own Zanpaktou through you, and he almost killed me… Why do you still believe in him?"
He caught her off guard there and the painful silence surrounded them again. Although it doesn't bother her at all, she was recollecting her thoughts with her head bowed down slightly.
"Because I trust him…That's why… That's why I—"
His fists clenched tighter and tried so hard to stop himself from punching a hole in the floor, the wall or even the roof for that matter. "Trust him?! Stop screwing around!!!"
"Hitsugaya-kun?"
"He betrayed that trust!! I don't know what happened before you were stabbed but, whatever it was that didn't seem like trust to me!! I trusted him too…" Hinamori was shaking and water started to pool around her hazel eyes. She knows very well what Hitsugaya meant and she's trying so hard to put it at the back of his mind.
Hitsugaya's thoughts were in panic mode. He shouldn't have said so much. No wait, scratch that he shouldn't have said anything at all. Things are getting out of hand and no matter how hard he tried to hold himself back he couldn't keep his mouth shut. He couldn't see where this conversation was going but, since it's already gone this far…
Then he'll just have to finish it.
"I trusted him to protect you… The way you would've wanted to be protected… I wanted to protect you too… but… but… I am invisible to you?"
"Hitsugaya-kun?"
He bowed his head as his hair tumbled down covering his eyes, "Hinamori, Am I…" His voice was barely a whisper but it was meant to be heard by only him and her.
His fists where clenched too tightly that his knuckles turned white. He knew what he was doing. He's calculated the consequences of what he just said but, he just couldn't stop it. He was powerless right now that he lost his calm. He's counted the consequences and truth be told it would take him a day to list them all but; he was already taking the plunge. He's about to dive and there's no turning back.
I thought I took all my chances… No matter how absurd it sounded I still gave it hope…
His fist tightened some more that he could practically make them bleed.
"Am I…"
What difference does this chance make if I blow this one up…?
"Am I…"
There'll be plenty of room for regrets later… that…
He was taking up every last drop of courage running through his veins as he took a deep breath.
Is the only thing I'm sure of…
And the risk that might break you
Is the one that would save
A life you don't live is still lost
"AM I STILL WEAK IN YOUR EYES?!"
Hitsugaya already knew that he was screaming at the top of his lungs but, the tears he fought so hard to hold back fell from his jade orbs like stars from the sky.
Hinamori's tears kept flowing like the river. The shock pierced her hazel eyes and the pain in his voice hunted her ears and echoed through her mind.
Don't look at me that way… I…I don't…
Nothing was holding him back now.
I don't need your pity.
"ANSWER ME!!"
Tell me that you need me…
"HINAMORI!"
"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Hitsugaya caught his breath for a minute. His vision was a little cloudy but he knew what he heard.
"You're strong Hitsugaya-kun! Everyone respects and admires you plus you even have Hyourinmaru right? I'm sure the whole 10th division looks up to---"
"That's enough!" Hitsugaya turned his back to her. Right now he wanted the ground to split open and swallow him whole.
"Wait Hitsu—" Hinamori's statement was cut short by a loud thump of a wooden cane. Yamamoto Genryuusai raised his arm in front of Hinamori causing her to fain on the spot.
Hitsugaya turned back to the screen to the screen seeing Hinamori carried by an unknown shinigami as Yamamoto ordered that she'd be sent back to her room.
"Yamamoto-taichou?"
"My humble apologies Hitsugaya-taichou, I guess it is too early for her to be doing this."
His apology made him feel so helpless. He shook his head and bowed.
"Yamamoto-taichou?" There was no reply but he acknowledged the question.
"You were standing away from the screen, just behind her the whole time… Why didn't you stop me?"
He was quiet for a moment then he casually gave his reply, "You're the only one who could bring her back from what she is now. Although I have to admit I didn't expect that from you Hitsugaya-taichou."
Hitsugaya detected a strange spark in his eyes. He could swear that he was actually GRINNING. Yamamoto Genryuusai was actually MOCKING him. It was enough to drive his sanity up the wall. But he's too exhausted right now. He'll do it when he remembers.
"Well, Good day then Hitsugaya-taichou."
"Please take care of her…"
The screen turned black and the room went cold.
"Well," He asked casually with his hands on his pockets as he leaned on the door, "How much have you heard?"
Matsumoto was leaning on the next door as she stared down at him, "Something about me being light years ahead when it comes to grow spurts." It was an attempt to cheer him up but, it didn't work. For the next few days or maybe weeks nothing will.
He leaned his head on the door and stared at the vast sky. The power in his jade eyes was disappearing as fast as the clouds in the sky,
"I've messed up pretty badly didn't I? I'm an idiot."
Matsumoto took a moment of silence to read the expression doodled all over his face. He was smiling at what he just said earlier. A prodigy proclaiming himself an idiot. If Matsumoto was high on sake right now the whole of Soul Society would have something to talk and laugh right about now but, for now the occasion doesn't call for it. If there's one word to describe the condition of the white haired prodigy with lifeless jade orbs and the painfully sad smile on his face…
The word would be "Pathetic".
It was enough to make Matsumoto wonder how she ended up as his Vice-Captain in the first place. But she'll put the sermon aside for another day. For once Matsumoto felt like shoving a whole bottle of sake just to perk up the prodigy if only for a while.
She laughed at the thought and stared up the sky like he did, "Look at the bright side, at least you finally admitted that you're an idiot. The rest would come out easily."
Hitsugaya mentally noted to get back on the comment when he had the chance. For now his thoughts swirled around the beautiful disaster he just orchestrated…
It was something probably anyone would've done. If they had enough nerves running through their body, enough sanity to keep them from regret and, the right words to keep them from fumbling anyone could have done it.
I was honest and I said exactly what I felt…
In short it was something I never thought I would've done…
Hold on
Before it's too late
We'll run till we leave this behind
Don't fall just stay be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives
It's all that I need in my life.
I think this calls for a sequel. Should I write a sequel for this? R & R please and thank you!!! --,