Title: Over
Summary: one-shot, he needed to accept it, but he can't. Because everything would be over.
Tsuki-San: Hi everyone! I'm sorry for not updating anything… I was lazy to write and been playing games… I will write more from now onwards.
Also I decided to rewrite all my stories… especially "I love you" since there's many story similar to it and I kind of dislike the ending I thought of… so yeah… I going to delete them and make them even better. :D (Look forward to it? Especially the new version of I love you)
Edit: 26.10.11
I edit a few parts especially detailing the mission they went. After rereading the story again, I noticed that there are parts like a thing is about this then the next it jumped to another thing… I don't know how to fix this, so I would be happy if you could advice someway to write it better? Or maybe there's no need to fix it? Please tell me what you think! I'll be more than happy to know what you think.
I tried my best to fix what I could but… it's still not good… TT_TT
~Read and Review~
Over and over again, he had lost someone important. His foster father – but he knew he would find him one day, then his closest childhood friend who had "came back to life." Not like her – he can never find her, never coming back – she's gone… forever...
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Sea of people walks passes him some had even bumped onto him as he walks down the path aimlessly but he doesn't care about them. He doesn't care about anything.
When did things become like this? Where he walks about aimlessly alone? She had used to walk with him, no matter where they're going.
Why did it ended up like this?
It shouldn't!
They had gone on a mission to pay her rent, a few bandits were stealing the town foods and destroying a few houses, the request was to get rid of them and the rewards was 360000 Jewels, if they split it, she would have more than enough. He thought it was as easy as eating a fire chicken.
But he was deadly wrong.
The town major whom posted the mission did not say that the bandits are all mages and no they didn't say that one of them is exactly a dragon slayer.
And being who he was, he just had to go and challenged that guy leaving her to defend herself, seemly to have forgotten that she couldn't really fight back.
So when the leader of the bandit saw that, he immediately aimed for her.
He on the other hand had finally defeated the dragon slayer, only then he realized that she was in danger, how did he not hear her shouts? He looked around and spotted the leader who's holding a sword, charging at her; from the distance she looked so fragile. Instantly, He ran as fast as he could to save her. He shouted for her to escape but the sword pieced through her left chest as she turned to run away.
He was too late.
Even now he can see her look right before the sword had hit her – all the fear on her façade, it was something that would hunt him for life.
The leader laughed at her falling figure and he caught her just in time, if he didn't she might break, like how glass shatters once it dropped onto the ground. Placing her softly on the ground, anger and rage was all he felt as he punched that guy non-stop. He would properly kill him if Erza didn't stop him, how he wish she didn't do that. But they needed to save her too and saving her came first.
They board the train not caring if they didn't claim their rewards, what's the point? Throughout the ride, he didn't feel the motion sickness maybe it was because she was on his arm and he prayed to God in his head to not take her away but whenever he looks at her, her eyes was blank missing the spark that was always in her eyes. She was so pale and cold that he began heating up, hoping that her body temperature would go back to normal. Her heart was still beating, but as second passed, it began to beat slower than the last and it's slowing down so fast that it scares him that it would just somehow stop. Her chest wound was bleeding out more and more bleed, staining his vest, he didn't have time to worry about his clothing, he's so afraid that she might bleed to death on him.
They alights the train once it reached Magnolia and rushed to guild. Arriving at the huge building, they shouted for Wendy to save her. But he already knew. They were already too late. Her heart stopped when they were reaching the guild, but he hoped that it wasn't real. Wendy was by her side, but she too knew, she broke into tears after saying "I'm…sorry…"
Everyone who was present on that day rushed to them, surrounding them, all too shocked.
He didn't attend her funeral after that, something he regretted. He just couldn't believe it, couldn't bring himself to accept it.
For weeks, he locked up inside his room, not allowing anyone to enter, not even Happy, his best friend, he had only decide to leave his room after Happy had cried and begged him to come out. Other people like Lisanna, Mira, and Erza even ice brain came and visit him, telling him that it wasn't his fault.
But they were wrong, it was his fault. He didn't- couldn't save her in time. Hell, he didn't even protect her like he promised. During the weeks he stayed in his room there was time he wondered if he did, she would still be here – right beside him, laughing with him, scolding him for destroying one-quarter of the town and maybe… he would confess afterwards, true, he's afraid of rejection and loses their friendship but he still wants to try…
And he had imagined that she would become his girlfriend and naturally he would be the best boyfriend for her and years later, they'd get married – where he's going to be the best husband in the world, have kids who he would teaches them to never abandon someone important and they'll also grow old together. A happy ever after ending...
But Reality - God was cruel. They just have to take her away. Did God thinks that it's time for her to return to Him? Why? There's so many others – why her?
He clenched his hand into a fist tightly by his side.
Who was he to blame someone else when it's his fault? When he didn't save – protect her?
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…Something familiar…
His ears twitched at a familiar sound.
He looked up, the streetlight flicks on, one after another. He stopped and watches the lights flicking on down the path. That right… She liked this time of the day. He closed his eyes and her voice rang in his mind "Natsu look! Doesn't it look like it's showing us the path to our future?" Sound of laughter after it hers laughter. If this was supposed to be the future then I don't want to be here! His clenched fist punched the streetlight closest to him, making it blend and the light flick on and off.
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He trembled, why… doesn't it hurt? He clenched his teeth, he could smell his blood yet, it doesn't – didn't hurt! Unable to stand it, he ran – sprint as fast as he could.
…run, escape. He needed to escape from this cruelty – this reality…
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Drip
His body froze, forgetting to catch his breath from the running when the water droplet had made a contact to his shoulder.
Drip, drip, drip
He lifted his head in a flash the rain slashed onto his face.
"Man… why does it have to rain today?" He heard his own voice, face continuing facing the dark cloudy sky. "You don't like it?" Her voice, he closed his eyes and the images of that night replayed in his head. He could see her, standing in front of him, smiling yet, he couldn't see her eyes. He can't seem to remember how her eyes looked like on that night.
…A memory of them...
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It was raining, they had planned to go fishing but couldn't so they stayed at her apartment.
"Man… Why does it have to rain today?" He pouted, head on her coffee table.
"You don't like it?" He looked and she was standing there, blond hair behind her back, wearing her blue shirt and miniskirt, smiling at him.
"Of course not! When it rain, fire is useless." Something he never wants to admit but to her, he can.
"True… but I like the rain…" Her smile turned sad and he didn't like it. Was it his fault?
"Why?" She understood what he's asking.
"Because, when its rain, it means an angel is crying for someone important to him or her…" She answered, "When Mama died, I was really sad to attend her funeral, she was so important to me…" She looked down and he followed her gaze, noticing that she was playing with her fingers nervously. "On that day, it rained and I felt Mama crying. Whenever I was feeling depress, somehow it always rained. I felt that the rain was Mama Tears. That why, I likes the rain." She turned to him and grinned. "Ah, but I don't like it when Mama cries…" She immediately said then giggled.
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Is she crying now? He asked himself, his eyes were watery and he could smell salt. Is it his tears or the rain, her tears? Maybe it's the mixture of both.
He shook his head and looked around to figure out where he is. His right side was the river and he knew where he was, where he wanted to go.
A place he's been afraid of going – her apartment.
…He's running again but this time with a destination...
Within minutes, he was panting and standing in front of the two-storey apartment house with red walls and a dark-brown sloping roof with two chimneys and two dormer windows. Catching his breath, he approached the window – if he went through the door, it wouldn't be him anymore.
He unlocked the window in a flash and climbed in bringing in waters into the spot he's standing, somewhere deep inside him hoped that she would be scolding him for entering from the window like usual.
He breathed in – her scent, a mixture of sunflower, unconsciously he had reached the coffee table.
…Pieces of papers lying around the table, it's all hers…
They had requested the landlady to leave her stuff as they were before she had…
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He reached out with trembling hand, grabbing the piece of paper that was at the top – she was writing this before they had went on the mission.
Morning mama!
I wanted to talk to you early today, since I'm going to go on a mission with Natsu, Gray, Erza and Happy later (Got to pay my rent soon). They are really great, though I don't know how many times I told you about them. He could see her giggling while writing this.
So I wanted to ask you whether I should confess to him. The guy I told you about… He could feel his blood boil, who the hell does she want to confess to? Well, he so dense (another thing that I always tells you) and he doesn't get the hints I give him! Dense…hints… did she like ice brain? He growled and crumbled the side of the paper, she liked his rival…
What is this feeling? Anger or maybe… rage?
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He shook his head; he needed to get back to the paper.
What should I do Mama?
I'm scared, what if he reject me and we would feel awaked after that… I don't want that. If that happen, he would beat that guy up.
But I hope that he would accept. Then we would do a lot of things together even thought we have always been together… what about him? Can he handle it? Seeing them together, no. he would punch that guy in the face. But what if she really likes him? She probably would hate him for doing it.
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But…I think I'm going to confess. Natsu is an idiot, so I better brace myself of him being confuse. After the mission… wishes me lu- he stopped, there was no need to read anymore.
She had planned to confess to him after the mission? That means she have feelings for him too…?
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Drip
He blinked.
Warm water droplets slide down his cheek landing on the piece of paper.
Tears.
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She had planned to confess to him. She has feelings for him too. But she couldn't, ever confess.
And it's because he didn't save her.
His whole body was trembling and he made a short chuckle, was he going to accept the reality?
It felt as if thousands, millions of knife had stabbed his heart.
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He needs to escape again, he would not accept it.
…Stood there, was her…
Cold breeze came through the widow and the piece of paper he was holding left his hand. "Natsu…"
Time stopped and every part of him froze at the voice, was he hallucinating? There she was, chocolate brown eyes looking at him, long blonde hair behind her back, wearing a plain white dress, barefooted, she looked a bit transparent but… but it's her!
Part of him wanted to hold her in his arm but another part was afraid that the moment he moved, she would be gone again.
Lost in his thoughts, he didn't realized that she was standing in front of him till her hand – so cold which made him shiver – touched his cheek, thumb wiping his tears. They stayed in silent before time began to move again and he finally found his voice, "Lucy…"
Her lips formed a smile but her eyes showed sadness. "I…I'm so…sorry Luce...!" he cried out, so desperately "I'm… sorry… I didn't save you…I didn't protect you…! I'm sorry…!" He choked out.
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It was only took a minute for her to tip toed and a second when her lips pressed on his. He was taken aback by her sudden action and how cold her lips felt but nevertheless kissed her back.
...The surrounding was disappearing, leaving only them…
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He hands reached and lightly patted on her small back, but the moment his finger touched her, there's a gust of wind and she was, gone.
It was as if she went with the wind.
Panic, he needed to find her.
Panicking he moved about, calling her out over and over again.
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"Lucy!" he shouted for the umpteenth time.
No respond.
But he continued, even though he knew that she…
Without her, he likes a child who knows nothing.
He tries catches his breathe, but he has forgotten how to breathe. Everything was becoming dizzy; he didn't know what to do. What can he do? He no longer knows anything. He needs her…
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He couldn't bring himself to accept it. The fact that she's…
Rage was filling him, he wanted to destroy everything. But… he can't – not when everything belongs to her.
But what can he do?
He knew, accepting it. That's what he needed to do.
Could he accept it? That she's…
No.
He can't…
If he accepts it, he won't be able to live anymore and everything will be over.
Tsuki: I know… it kind of incomplete and not good (it's my first death fic….it not even sad!)… But I think it's enough… properly… and I lost the feeling to write it… *sigh*
Please review!