Chapter 1: A line for Gojyo

A long, long time ago, in a far away land….

Observe, as a redhead saunters listlessly along the streets in a harbor city called Soda Met, hands in his pockets.  He seems lost in his own world.  Look at the troubled expression on his face, sensually attractive despite the scars adorning the left cheekbone.  Our hero is approaching a group of three men, one of whom is nursing troubled thoughts of his own.

Man 1: Incorrigible! What a shrew!

Man 2: She broke her music teacher's head with her lute for informing her she was tone-deaf.

Man 1: So I heard.  And there was the incidence with the messenger boy… and the one with her shooting instructor… etc, etc

Man 3: (Sighs heavily)

Man 2: Poor Homura. At this rate, you'll never be able to marry your sweet Goku.

Man 3: Ah. Their father refused to let the younger daughter go before the older one gets married.

Man 1: Hell! And who _is_ going to take that violent, psychopathic woman?

Man 3: (Sighs *real* heavily and claps hand to face)

Man 2: Aww. Too bad, Homura.

Man clapped Homura on the back consolingly.

As fate would have it, our handsome friend with the mismatched eyes happened to look up from his misery just at the exact moment the hero of this story passed by, hands still in his pockets. [1]

Homura: Hey you over there!

Gojyo: Yup?

Homura: Wanna make some money?

And so the two had a very fruitful discussion, in which Homura pointed out in capitals, to the other man, that the shrew's father was a very, very WEALTHY man and tended to be very, very GENEROUS with the dowry for his two daughters, especially the elder and (of course) prettier [2] of them.  He neglected to mention that the elder girl had some violent tendencies and overlooked the fact that her vocabulary put even the most seasoned sailors' to shame. 

I suspect it would not have mattered to the red-haired man called Gojyo anyway. The violence and the swearing that is. The dowry (or the size of the dowry) meant a lot to him however. Money always means a lot to a gambler on a losing streak. Especially if the door and walls of his apartment unit had recently been decorated with pay-up-or-else-notices in bright red paint, tastefully done by the artist employed by the loan sharks.

Hence it came to be that Sha Gojyo agreed to lend a hand in helping Homura's plan of getting hitched (to his __awww_ sweet Goku), by getting hitched himself. To the formidable elder daughter of Kanon-sama, a well-known merchant of this harbor city called Soda Met.

[1] Because they are empty.

[2] Despite appearances, this happens to be true. The elder is the prettier one. Patience. All will be revealed.

Author's Ramblings:

(Skip if you have just had an earful from spouse/parent/boss/etc)

What do you think?

Naaa naaaa?

Thanks to the seikazu aisenai, author of Geboku, for inspiring me.

The elder daughter? Who do you think she was?

Hakkai? (Maybe, if those cool ear-clips are off). Barring a demonic Hakkai, the only person fit to play the role of the Shrew …. will be revealed in the next chapter.  HINT (in caps): Katherine the Shrew was a blond in the Moonlighting episode parodying the same play.  Ooops, I'm actually old enough to remember Moonlighting.  ^_^;;  [runs to magic cream to erase any evidence of wrinkles from face].

Until the next chapter then: The Shrew of Soda Met