CONFESSIONS
It wasn't just because he saved me from death, it's because there is something in that boy that draws me towards him. Those piercing blue eyes which he rarely opens, his silver hair with a tint of purple, his ever present grin, everything about him draws me towards him. You may call it attraction or something like that, but I can't really explain it myself. It's kind of a difficult feeling to understand. And the worst part is, I can't hate that guy. Even though most of his responses are just a mere smile or a grin, no matter what he does, I just can't get mad at him. I know right? It pisses me off sometimes but that fox-faced guy with his stupid grin and smile push me to do things like being a shinigami. Well, I guess it can't be helped for me not to become one since I'm no ordinary spirit. Yet, I can't comprehend the fact that I'm being one just for him! I know he keeps on doing anything he wishes-leaving me behind everything- and I know I really shouldn't waste my time on guys like him, yet deep inside of this fragile heart of mine,-which I truly despise- I know that no one can really replace him. No one can replace Gin in my life. He's my savior, my will to survive, and the person who inspires me to live on.
When I'm with him, even though we don't talk that much, I feel as though our bond gets stronger and stronger everytime we're together. We were able to develop a bond that is able to surmount the relationship of usual friends or childhood friends or the like. On the process of all of these, I had fallen for him. Of course I never told him how I feel. I was happy just being able to get to talk to him for awhile and watching him from afar. I guess from the very beginning, he's the only person I really look at. He's the only person who could make me so happy and can get me to feel depressed right away. It's unfair Gin, you having this control over me. And up until now, I just can't understand the reason behind your actions and behind your apology back then. You just told me something in the past like: "I will change everything so you won't cry anymore." I don't really understand Gin, if what you meant was protection, I never needed it. I became a shinigami to be able to tend to myself and to fight for the weak. And even if you're not here with me anymore, even if I'll never be able to see you, I always feel your presence guiding me always. You are like the wind, I can't see you but I feel you. You'll always be here in my heart.