Vegeta gazed upon Gokuu's orbs. "How wonderful these baka's orbs are. So black, so saiyan.", he thought "I could just melt right into... wait a minute! Th-that can't be. How could I be in love with this third class bak-"
His musings were cut short when Goku knocked him to the ground with a swift left hook. Damn. Vejita forgot that they had been sparring. "Are you okay Veggie?"
Gohku reached down to help Vegetah to his feet. As he bent down (showing off his glorious backside), Vegeeta noticed a bruise on his arm.
"Did I do that to you, baka?"
"No", Guhku sighed, "My wife, who I have been married to for 17+ years, has been abusing me and our sons. She hits me daily. Every day she breaks my arms, and every night she breaks my legs. She breaks my heart most of all. I cry myself to sleep every night. She hasn't let me in my own house for 10 years. I haven't slept with her since Goten was born, and even then she raped me. Nobody noticed, even though we can all sense ki and it would be pretty obvious if I were sleeping outside and getting beaten daily. I'm choosing to ignore that I don't support my family, and that she cooks and cleans for me."
"Things between me and the onna haven't been great either. She tricked me into getting her pregnant, and orders me around like a slave. I'm choosing to ignore the fact that I don't support my family at all and I spend most of my time in the gravity room that she built for me."
"Oh. I'm sorry Vegeta. We both have it so hard. Training while our wives work their asses off to support us. What could be worse? We're both trapped in loveless marriages."
"That's because we're saiyan, baka. We're not meant to be with humans."
"But didn't you choose to be with Bulma?"
"Shush, baka. Saiyans aren't meant to be with females either. All saiyans are male."
"But if saiyans are male, wouldn't that mean we have fundamentally different reproductive systems? Human-saiyan hybrids wouldn't even exist."
"Be quiet baka."
Vegta leaned up and kissed Gocku on the lips, tongue thrashing wildly in the other man's mouth. Gohku leaned into the kiss, when all of a sudden, poof his tail regrew! He pulled away and looked at Vejjitaa. Vegeeta's tail had also grown back. The older saiyan gasped. "B-b-baka. Do you know what this means?"
"No."
"It means we are... forever buddies."
What will happen next? R&R