I got another proposal today

I got another proposal today. It's funny; no one believed I could do it before. Sure, they knew that I was the High Summoner's daughter, and for that they had hope, but no one thought that I would make it. I was so young…sometimes I didn't think that I could make it.

But I had you right beside me, and that seemed to make it okay. You'd turn and smile, and tell me how we had to come back afterwards. I wondered if you had forgotten going back to Zanarkand with how wrapped up in Spira you were. I thought that it might be for the better, even though I'd never get to spend either lifetime with you. Either I'd die fighting Sin or I'd die getting there. I wanted you to return to whichever world made you happier. Now, I'd like to think that you didn't.

Is that too selfish? Should I want you to be happy only if it's what I want? I've always worried about that—being selfish, that is. You should take more than you give, or at least my father told me. I felt so sad when I realized that your father didn't tell you anything like that. But you two made peace in the end, and that's what counts. Peace…what a word!

It certainly applies to Spira, or, at least, it sort of applies. See, we'll never get rid of the fiends, and so no one can ever run around without worry, but at least now we know that we're safe when we sleep at night. And there is some violence between the Sphere hunting groups. I told you about them in my last letter—remember?

I'm happy to say that people are beginning to accept the Al Bhed now. They teach us how to use machines (aka machina) and some even teach their language to the children. Besaid has always been slow to accept anything, but I think that my Al Bhed guardian helped them to see the light. Speaking of Rikku, did I tell you that her brother has his own airship? I haven't seen it, but Rikku told me. He calls it the Celsius.

I'm sitting here on the docks, writing you a letter that you'll never read. I got so happy thinking about it the airship, wondering what your reaction would be. But then I remembered that I wouldn't get a reaction. If you're a dream then how come you never come back to me when I sleep? Visit me please, I'd love to dream again.

I haven't forgotten you, but at the same time I have. I can see your face clearly printed on the back of my eyelids, and yet it always blurs. That doesn't make much sense, does it? Then again, things always seemed to make sense to you even when I couldn't understand. You were just like that, I guess. No. Not you were—you are.

You didn't say it back. Why? I've been meaning to ask you, meaning to bring it up, but I can't. Why didn't you say 'I love you too'? Am I not good enough for you? It was a nasty trick, kissing me like that and then leaving me hanging. I listen to the wind sometimes, because maybe it will tell me what I want to hear, like words straight from your mouth. But then again…maybe you did say it.

Maybe it was in your embrace, maybe in the taste of your tears. Maybe it was your brave smile, or the sound of footsteps on the metal ship. Maybe your reply was the way that your being shimmered green, or the way that your body flew downward, like a bird. Maybe…maybe I didn't need to hear it. Maybe I always knew.

Nobody knows that I write to you. Nobody knows that I cry at night. Nobody knows that I can't dream anymore.

Is it better this way? I'd like to think so, to think that I'm choosing the better path. I'd like to think that this all turned out for the better. But how could my better be your leaving? Was it a premature love, maybe? I was so caught up in all that I was seeing for the first and last time, so caught up in the spiraling destruction that I didn't have time to think. I didn't have time to think about your lips upon mine, I had only the time to feel their warmth. I still do sometimes, and I'm afraid that it's the most tangible thing that I have of you.

I won't write myself into tears, and so now I bid you farewell. I hope that maybe somehow you'll read this. You don't have to reply, I won't expect it. Just know that I'll do all that I can to find you again. Maybe I can dream you into life…that would be nice.

Farewell, my faithful guardian.

P.S. You love me too.

--Yuna

0FIN0

My first serious entry to the FFX section! Woohoo! I hope you guys like it. I set out to write a nice, angsty het KH one-shot, but it morphed into Yuna writing Tidus a nice, angsty het letter. Oh well, I'm happy with it. Please review, I'd like to know how I captured Yuna's voice, as I worry about OOCness. Thanks for reading!